@sandbar517 I hate shower games. It sounds like a circle of hell to have someone guess how large my stomach is with a piece of string. The only one I liked was the advice book that people made for me. I actually still keep it in DS’s room and it’s fun to look back on. I have a friend who loves shower games and any excuse to have extra attention on her, so to each their own. I’m a much more introverted person.
@BertieMeetsGertie do you think you could pass that information along to whoever is hosting? Then when guests ask, they can let them know in a tactful way. We also had some people order their gifts online and they shipped directly to our house, which was awesome.
I love the idea of receiving books/giving books...I have bought many for friends’ babies that it was asked to do so on the invite. I put a lot of thought into the book and enjoy buying it, though...I’d hate for someone to feel like they have to go grab a cheap book real quick to fill a requirement for my shower. Just a personal idea of mine, but I think I’ll register for a few classics/books I’d really like to have given to us by someone special - it’s a great small, meaningful gift and not too pricey for family/friends on a budget!
We're still debating whether to have one or not since we kept all of DD's baby stuff. There's not much that we will need other than diapers. My SIL suggested a "diaper drop" shower, which we may do.
For first-time baby showers, I think unless you're Type A OCD, let someone close to you who's willing plan the party. I'm not very outgoing, so I feel bad inviting people to my own shower, like I'm begging for handouts. But, that's just me.
I find a baby registry very helpful, both as a parent and as a gift-giver. It helps me keep track of what all I still need to buy myself once the shower(s) are finished. As a giver, it helps me to know exactly what the parents like (diaper brands, color schemes, bottle types, etc.). You will still have people who don't look at your registry and get you what THEY think you need. At the worst, you can always sell it or re-gift it to another mom later. We had 3 baby registries with DD (Wal-Mart, BRU, and Amazon). This go around, I'm only making 1 on Amazon because it's so much simpler to keep track of what you do/don't have instead of comparing between the different lists.
I also think that there should at least be some finger foods and a cute cake / cupcakes. My in-law family loves food and they went all out for the shower for DD. We were feasting on leftovers for several days, which I didn't mind because I helped pick out some of the foods!!
I prefer going to showers that are at a neutral location if we're not super close friends. I feel like I'm invading their space. However, having the party in your own home is a whole lot easier to go ahead and put up all the gifts instead of lugging them from the party location to the house. The bulk of items adds up quick and the space in cars suddenly gets smaller!
@sandbar517@mileswithmyles thanks! My SIL would be hosting if we had an in person shower. It would be tricky to word that on the invites. I’ll let her handle the details!
Me: 31 DH: 32 Dating since: 11/17/2001 Married: 9/26/2009 TTC: June 2016
I do enjoy buying books for baby, but I usually just factor it into my gift (and still buy a card). I worry about writing my note directly in the book for similar reasons above (what if they get multiple of the same book, when baby grows out of the book the sentimental note is kind of useless, etc). I am not a fan of being "told" what to buy. lol.
On the topic of shower ideas, I do not plan on being involved in the planning of my shower(s) unless the hosts specifically ask me. I appreciate any sort of shower they throw for me, and don't care too much about the details. I will say that my dad's side of the family wants to throw my shower at a country club. Very generous of them, but so not my style. However, they are the hosts...and like I said, I am grateful for whatever they do. That being said....I did have a bit of a sad/hormonal moment this morning thinking about my baby shower. My families are HUGE (my mom has 9 brothers and sisters) so it is pretty standard for my dads side to host one shower and my mom's side to host another. One of my mom's sisters passed away three months ago. I was closer to her than my own mother, and if she were alive she would be the one to host my shower for me. It really hit me hard thinking about that today, and was a bit more sadness than I could take. However, I am grateful that we shared our pregnancy news with her three weeks before she passed, and her daughter (my best friend) will be in the delivery room with my husband and I.
Sorry to hijack the thread and get all sappy....but, had to let it out!
I can't wait to see how everyone's showers turn out! +1 for being anti-games.
I was adamant about NOT having a shower but my mom has/does so much for me I know she wanted to do one so we are having a sit-down lunch in March at a way to fancy for me restaurant. It will be vegan which was my only "must have" and it will make her happy so I will smile and play the games for her. Personally I need there to be alcohol available to my guests because I know how boring, awkward and/or even sad for some people howers can be. I feel like wine can help people loosen up, drown their sorrows, or at least make the party worth it if they feel obligated to attend but don't want to. She agreed to @abhphilly
Shower Gift Opening: It seems awkward to me because everyone sees the registry so they know I charlestonchew I think it's boring too to be the guest watching the gifts being opened but I get that it is sometimes one of the reasons people enjoy attending. I love the idea of the bingo game whilst opening the gifts. Makes it more fun.
UNPOPULAR OPINION- I don't think people should get things that are not on the registry. My husband and I are strict vegans and don't support certain companies for ethical reasons. We also love to buy local or consigned and support USA companies...but how can you write that all in an invite without not sounding ridiculous or a primadonna? We also don't want cheap clothing from overseas factories when we can just buy that stuff at a consignment shop. Ugh, I am thinking about this as I type and realizing half of you are prob rolling your eyes at me right now.
oywiththepoodlesalready@doubleblessings1124@charlestonchew I think there is nothing wrong with a diaper raffle....you don't have to participate and you can win some pretty cool shit. I wish I could do that but we are doing cloth diapers. My mom is buying homegoods gift cards for other "game prizes" she has organized. I'd be stoked if I brought a pack of diapers and won a 50$ giftcard to Homegoods!
@justsuzie booze at baby showers is pretty normal out here. Typicallly it’s a mimosa bar. I agree that it makes them a little more relaxed, especially since you are bringing together different groups of people who don’t necessarily know each other.
@kpc914 So sorry to hear about the loss of your aunt/2nd mom. I know what that feels like as I lost 5 family members in 2 years, all before I got married. My one aunt knew about the engagement which was special but it's tough when your loved ones aren't there to celebrate special moments with you. I'm glad you have your cousin/bff to be by your side (and you by hers!)
@justsuzie I don't think there is anything wrong with being specific about what stores/brands you like. I would suggest that you build a registry of the brands and products that you are happy to use. It would be tough to put in an invite, but hopefully most guests know your preferences and stick to the registry. And word of mouth works wonders (telling older relatives and a fee close friends about your purchasing preferences should do the trick!) You may get a gift or two that is off registry, but hopefully it comes with a gift receipt! Here's an article on how to get people to stay on registry: https://www.rookiemoms.com/how-to-get-them-to-stick-to-your-baby-registry/ And I would add that putting gift cards as an option would also be helpful for guiding people to what you want without having to state it bluntly.
@babys_2018 Great idea...I never thought about having others spread the word! I have almost everything I need already from hand-me-downs. Now we just want to build up our cloth diaper stash and all the necessities you shouldn't buy used.
@lincbeesmom we always used toilet paper and whoever got closest to the right amount of squares won a prize. That is probably my favorite baby shower game.
@justsuzie No rolling eyes here. I think that writing something would be taboo, but any gifts you get that you feel you can't support would be an awesome donation to a crisis nursery on your behalf
Sounds like most people are having pre-baby showers. Anyone having one after baby arrives? I am not planning on being involved in the planning of mine (and honestly not sure who will host one as hubbys family is in town but mine is far away), but I've had friends ask me when it will be and what I prefer. I see pros and cons to both. Before let's you stock up before baby but no one meets the baby. After let's people meet the baby (or spread their germs!) and buy "sex-specific" items (not my words and I get that boys can wear pink etc, but some people like giving the "gender" stereotype gifts)
@babys_2018, we did 3 baby showers before and then did a sip n see afterwards with DH's friends and their wives since none of them could make our friend shower. It was nice to have something afterwards and I got to drink during it because I made a mimosa bar, haha. It was also a good way to get his friends over to meet the baby without having them all come at different dates and times.
I've only been to 1 baby shower. It's not part of my culture. The baby shower i went to/planned was for my friend who was from Australia and not near family or other friends. We got bottles from the dollar store and had a contest you see who could drink the most in a set time. We also played point the pacifier on the baby. Prizes were baby stuff: baby Ruth candy bars, baby carrots, baby corn, etc.
Probably not something you could do in a more formal sett I ng, but we had fun.
@justsuzie I don't think that's a bad opinion to have regarding things on the registry. The only thing I struggle with is as a gift giver, there are times I don't have a lot of spare cash and I've been frustrated to find the registry is filled with expensive items. I tend to go in that situation to the store and get 4 or 5 items of cheaper things that may not be on their registry. I tried to include a variety of cheap and less cheap items on my registry because of that.
To tie in with @charlestonchew and her last comment, I tried to check the registry every day or 2 to make sure there was a variety, especially of the lower priced items. There were a couple times I added things.
@kpc914 I’m so sorry that she’s not here to celebrate with you. I’m so glad you were able to tell her before she passed.
@babys_2018 I had two showers before DS was born. It was nice to be stocked up and organized before he came. After he was born, one of our good friends did a meal train sign up for us and people would bring us dinner and come meet the baby. It was nice to have one on one time with people and the baby and we really appreciated the meals they provided.
@justsuzie yay!! Our insurance covered a pediatric nurse to come and check on DS every week for the first month (it was fucking amazing and even though I hope to avoid the NICU this time I will be sad to lose this perk) and I told her about the stuff he couldn't use because he was 8.5 pounds at birth and nothing newborn fit including diapers. She said when she was in nursing school she volunteered at the local crisis nursery and would be happy to take anything to them I wanted. It was an amazing feeling to help fellow babies and moms.
I think going off registry depends on the Mom. If I know they have strict preferences, I’m totally sticking to just that. But usually I make a “baby kit” and add a few things off their registry. It has things like infant Tylenol, gas drops, saline nose spray, a nose Frieda. Things people don’t bother to register for but are so thankful for in the middle of the night.
@justsuzie not eye rolling at all. I didn’t register for clothes and still got a ton of things I’d never in a million years put on my own child who spends most of her time in bonnets and bubbles. the beautiful thing about your own child is no one else’s opinions or preferences on anything matter!
The clothes!!! We registered for zero clothes and still had a closet full. If we saw a specific outfit we wanted, we just bought it and not in newborn, haha. So many newborn clothes had to be exchanged for bigger sizes.
My mom threw a baby shower for me when I was pregnant with DS. It was a surprise and honestly I just loved getting the opportunity to visit and laugh with my family and closest girl friends. Once baby comes your life changes a lot and just looking back on that day I actually don't recall any of the games or presents but the people for sure! AND they incorporated our nursery colours into the decor and cake. It was really so thoughtful.
I don't expect one will be thrown for this baby. it's not typical around here to have more than one shower and I've noticed a lot of side-eyeing when one is brought up for STM+s.
When I go to showers I typically get something educational (book or toy), an article of clothing for a bit down the road (6-9mo) and something for the mom if we are super close (lansolin cream, nursing pads, chocolate lol)
@suchaglencoco That's what I am worried about...the clothes! But I love @cups4 idea of donating to a shelter. But, I am worried about the gift-giver asking me about how baby likes her pink tutu.
@justsuzie this will sound horrible, but i find as a parent i can't always care about the gift giver's feelings. SIL gives my kids a stuffed animal and a blanket for every gift. That's just too much. They barely care about stuff like that anyway. I give most of it away and they have never asked about any of it. This weekend, my sister got a bunch of hand me down American girl dolls. My niece gave my kids 2 American girl babies. They each already have one. Not only that, DD2 just told me she doesn't like hers anymore. And these new ones legit look like they escaped from one flew over the cuckoo's nest... Hair is a mess, white hospital gowns. I told my mom i didn't want them, she told my sister, it was almost a thing. To about a conflict, we took them home. I'mving them away next week. My kids are privileged and they don't need more stuff and i can't handle more clutter. There's a store that sells or donates American girl dolls so that kids in need have clothes or at least one toy. I'll bring the girls there so they can see that they are helping others. The people who know me well and care about me know what my family will appreciate. If you show up with a shirt that says "I'm lucky I'm cute cause math is hard" it's not my problem if you never see my kid wear it.
Yaaaassssss @nanifrog . We got a newborn outfit from a family member for St. Patrick's Day and they kept asking about it. DS was in 3 month clothes at birth, let alone a month after he was born. I'm sorry he couldn't fit in it but don't make me feel bad!!
I wish there was a way to share our registries without our real names being shared too. I’m really interested in what everyone is registering for but know that whole stranger danger thing is a drawback haha
i Definitely tried to register for cheaper (yet also necessary) items. Honestly the expensive things on my registry are on there so I can get 15% off. I don’t expect anyone to buy that stuff.
@lincbeesmom I literally put on my registry “The big ticket items on this list are only here for the completion discount (so we can buy them ourselves later).”
So, since my registry is on Amazon, I'm guessing a lot of people will just ship things directly to our house. How does that work for the apparently required public gift-opening part of the shower? Do I cut open Amazon boxes the whole time? Haha.
@abhphilly In my opinion, if things get shipped directly to your house, you don't have to open them at the shower, you just open them when you get them. Maybe you could do a picture board or something so people can see what everyone else bought you, or just thank them personally at the shower? And then just open the gifts that people actually bring to the shower at the shower.
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
@abhphilly I wouldn’t worry about things sent to your house. If they are shipping it directly, I don’t think the gift giver would expect their gift to be included at the baby shower. I would just make sure not to forget a thank you note!
I played around with Amazon registry for a bit and so far couldn't find a way to share it without my info. I created some fake info but as soon as I changed my info back the actual link to my registry changed to my original info. I think we're going to have to wait till we're comfortable with a Facebook page cause at that point we would have each other's general info I believe. Maybe we can discuss that soon? I've never been on a Facebook page from a BMB so I'm not sure what that looks like or when people usually do it.
@charlestonchew we were on TB and FB probably around this time. We had one regular volunteer to set it up and we had to PM her on the Bump with our real name. She sent us the link to friend her on FB and then added us to the group.
I don’t think we nominated admins, but used the same ones as on here. That was back when TB had member mods for each board. Our group is secret.
I was (and still am) on a FB group for my J12 BMB. It wasn't set up until 3rd tri though. It was a secret group so no one outside could see/participate in posts except members. I didn't join one for my J14 baby because the bump was imploding then
Re: Baby Shower Thread
@BertieMeetsGertie do you think you could pass that information along to whoever is hosting? Then when guests ask, they can let them know in a tactful way. We also had some people order their gifts online and they shipped directly to our house, which was awesome.
Just a personal idea of mine, but I think I’ll register for a few classics/books I’d really like to have given to us by someone special - it’s a great small, meaningful gift and not too pricey for family/friends on a budget!
For first-time baby showers, I think unless you're Type A OCD, let someone close to you who's willing plan the party. I'm not very outgoing, so I feel bad inviting people to my own shower, like I'm begging for handouts. But, that's just me.
I find a baby registry very helpful, both as a parent and as a gift-giver. It helps me keep track of what all I still need to buy myself once the shower(s) are finished. As a giver, it helps me to know exactly what the parents like (diaper brands, color schemes, bottle types, etc.). You will still have people who don't look at your registry and get you what THEY think you need. At the worst, you can always sell it or re-gift it to another mom later. We had 3 baby registries with DD (Wal-Mart, BRU, and Amazon). This go around, I'm only making 1 on Amazon because it's so much simpler to keep track of what you do/don't have instead of comparing between the different lists.
I also think that there should at least be some finger foods and a cute cake / cupcakes. My in-law family loves food and they went all out for the shower for DD. We were feasting on leftovers for several days, which I didn't mind because I helped pick out some of the foods!!
I prefer going to showers that are at a neutral location if we're not super close friends. I feel like I'm invading their space. However, having the party in your own home is a whole lot easier to go ahead and put up all the gifts instead of lugging them from the party location to the house. The bulk of items adds up quick and the space in cars suddenly gets smaller!
BFP 2/25/14 EDD 11/5/14 BD 11/4/14
BFP 8/26/17 EDD 5/5/18
Dating since: 11/17/2001
Married: 9/26/2009
TTC: June 2016
EDD: 5/14/2018
On the topic of shower ideas, I do not plan on being involved in the planning of my shower(s) unless the hosts specifically ask me. I appreciate any sort of shower they throw for me, and don't care too much about the details. I will say that my dad's side of the family wants to throw my shower at a country club. Very generous of them, but so not my style. However, they are the hosts...and like I said, I am grateful for whatever they do. That being said....I did have a bit of a sad/hormonal moment this morning thinking about my baby shower. My families are HUGE (my mom has 9 brothers and sisters) so it is pretty standard for my dads side to host one shower and my mom's side to host another. One of my mom's sisters passed away three months ago. I was closer to her than my own mother, and if she were alive she would be the one to host my shower for me. It really hit me hard thinking about that today, and was a bit more sadness than I could take. However, I am grateful that we shared our pregnancy news with her three weeks before she passed, and her daughter (my best friend) will be in the delivery room with my husband and I.
Sorry to hijack the thread and get all sappy....but, had to let it out!
I can't wait to see how everyone's showers turn out! +1 for being anti-games.
Shower Gift Opening: It seems awkward to me because everyone sees the registry so they know I charlestonchew I think it's boring too to be the guest watching the gifts being opened but I get that it is sometimes one of the reasons people enjoy attending. I love the idea of the bingo game whilst opening the gifts. Makes it more fun.
UNPOPULAR OPINION- I don't think people should get things that are not on the registry. My husband and I are strict vegans and don't support certain companies for ethical reasons. We also love to buy local or consigned and support USA companies...but how can you write that all in an invite without not sounding ridiculous or a primadonna? We also don't want cheap clothing from overseas factories when we can just buy that stuff at a consignment shop. Ugh, I am thinking about this as I type and realizing half of you are prob rolling your eyes at me right now.
oywiththepoodlesalready@doubleblessings1124@charlestonchew I think there is nothing wrong with a diaper raffle....you don't have to participate and you can win some pretty cool shit. I wish I could do that but we are doing cloth diapers. My mom is buying homegoods gift cards for other "game prizes" she has organized. I'd be stoked if I brought a pack of diapers and won a 50$ giftcard to Homegoods!
@justsuzie I don't think there is anything wrong with being specific about what stores/brands you like. I would suggest that you build a registry of the brands and products that you are happy to use. It would be tough to put in an invite, but hopefully most guests know your preferences and stick to the registry. And word of mouth works wonders (telling older relatives and a fee close friends about your purchasing preferences should do the trick!) You may get a gift or two that is off registry, but hopefully it comes with a gift receipt!
Here's an article on how to get people to stay on registry: https://www.rookiemoms.com/how-to-get-them-to-stick-to-your-baby-registry/
And I would add that putting gift cards as an option would also be helpful for guiding people to what you want without having to state it bluntly.
@lincbeesmom we always used toilet paper and whoever got closest to the right amount of squares won a prize. That is probably my favorite baby shower game.
I am not planning on being involved in the planning of mine (and honestly not sure who will host one as hubbys family is in town but mine is far away), but I've had friends ask me when it will be and what I prefer.
I see pros and cons to both.
Before let's you stock up before baby but no one meets the baby.
After let's people meet the baby (or spread their germs!) and buy "sex-specific" items (not my words and I get that boys can wear pink etc, but some people like giving the "gender" stereotype gifts)
Probably not something you could do in a more formal sett I ng, but we had fun.
@babys_2018 I had two showers before DS was born. It was nice to be stocked up and organized before he came. After he was born, one of our good friends did a meal train sign up for us and people would bring us dinner and come meet the baby. It was nice to have one on one time with people and the baby and we really appreciated the meals they provided.
@justsuzie not eye rolling at all. I didn’t register for clothes and still got a ton of things I’d never in a million years put on my own child who spends most of her time in bonnets and bubbles. the beautiful thing about your own child is no one else’s opinions or preferences on anything matter!
If we saw a specific outfit we wanted, we just bought it and not in newborn, haha. So many newborn clothes had to be exchanged for bigger sizes.
I don't expect one will be thrown for this baby. it's not typical around here to have more than one shower and I've noticed a lot of side-eyeing when one is brought up for STM+s.
When I go to showers I typically get something educational (book or toy), an article of clothing for a bit down the road (6-9mo) and something for the mom if we are super close (lansolin cream, nursing pads, chocolate lol)
I think the word of mouth tip mentioned earlier is a good one as well.
i Definitely tried to register for cheaper (yet also necessary) items. Honestly the expensive things on my registry are on there so I can get 15% off. I don’t expect anyone to buy that stuff.
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
ETA: your and you’re is hard
Usually a couple people volunteer or are nominated to admin. Group is also usually set to secret so it remains invite only.
Id be up for talking about this closer to February or March!
I don’t think we nominated admins, but used the same ones as on here. That was back when TB had member mods for each board. Our group is secret.