TTCAL Week of 1/2

dpjennifer · January 2018

1. Introduce yourself (if new)
2. Status?
3. Rants/Raves:
4. GTKY: Holiday gifts - What was your favorite gift this year?

Mack2342 · January 2018

1. Introduce yourself (if new) sooooo not new

2. Status? Self benched waiting for test results and AF following MC

3. Rants/Raves: back to work ugh

4. GTKY: Holiday gifts - What was your favorite gift this year? DH had a picture from our family vacation this past summer of me and DS painted. It’s beautiful

dpjennifer · January 2018

2. Status? CD 34. TWW. 11 of 12 DPO.
3. Rants/Raves: My chart’s a bit of a cluster due to the holidays and forgetting my thermometer at my parents when we went to my in-laws. Had a good holiday. Loved all the snow we got when I was visiting family in Erie!
4. GTKY: Holiday gifts - What was your favorite gift this year? We got a canvas print of a picture of DH and I from SIL wedding over the summer. It was beautiful and I’m super excited to find a place to hang it.

Mack2342 Ugh. I’m HATING being back at work too.

Jamps728 · January 2018

1. Introduce yourself - TTC #2 since May 2017, BFP in July 2017 but then there was no heartbeat at an ultrasound in August and we had a D&C in September 2017 and took a break from TTC until January 2018 (due to a new job and needing some time to emotionally recover)
2. Status? CD 1 and actively TTC this cycle
3. Rants/Raves: So tired of my parents asking me when we're going to have #2, as they joke about it constantly (which is ironic because I am my mom's only child). I can't tell them about the D&C because they'll make it all about them. Also just generally feeling nervous and anxious about trying again. I just want everything to happen quickly and have no issues (which is what everyone here wants of course)
4. GTKY: Holiday gifts - What was your favorite gift this year? My husband bought me tablet this year and a friend of mine bought me bagels and smoked salmon from my favorite place in NY and had them shipped up to us in MA. The bagels and lox were a nice reminder of home.

Kath525 · January 2018

1.Not new. Ttc since 1/17. CP 3/17. NMC 9/17.
2. TWW 10 DPO.
3.Rave:Going to Florida/disney tomorrow! But....
Rant: DD woke up with 102 degree fever.... Ughhhhh.
4. I got a new gun

acciocoffee · January 2018

2. Status? CD3! First cycle off the bench!
3. Rants/Raves: Can I just rave about you guys? I was always intimidated by the TTGP group on TB, but after our MC I found this group and jumped in. You were all so kind and supportive that I started joining you all over at TTGP too and found it to be just as kind and supportive. I don't know that I would be trying again so soon if it wasn't for all the support and love I've gotten on here. So thank you for being amazing humans!
4. GTKY: Holiday gifts - What was your favorite gift this year? I pretty much just got cash, but I used some of that cash to buy myself a new purse!

lin0442 · January 2018

@Jamps728 Welcome! I hope your stay is short

@acciocoffee I find TTGP moves so fast, I can’t keep up! I just stay in this little corner lol.

1. Not new. TTC since 2/16, Bfp 3/16, MMC and D&E 5/16, then nothing since. Getting to another dang anniversary soon.
2. WTO CD3
3. Raves: The holidays are over!! I’m so ready to not be hosting people and have a regular schedule again lol.
Rant: I’m tired of embarrassing myself with my emotional reactions to other people’s innocent but hurtful comments. A very sweet coworker accidentally made a super hurtful comment in a joke and I just feel so lousy right now.
4. DH got me a very nice quality down pillow, as if I needed another incentive to stay in bed on a cold morning!

acciocoffee · January 2018

@lin0442 I definitely am not able to completely keep up with TTGP. I just choose one or two posts to stick to and am more lurker than anything else. This corner is a pretty fantastic corner though!

Mack2342 · January 2018

@dpjennifer at least we can look forward to long wkd in two weeks! How are you doing in the TWW?

@Jamps728 welcome

@kath525 I hope you get DD is feeling better so you can have fun trip. What kind of gun did you get?

@acciocoffee I agree this is a great group of women. Glad you were able to buy something you wanted. I always love a new purse

@lin0442 sorry about the upcoming anniversary. Those are difficult.

kms1216 · January 2018

1. Introduce yourself (if new) I am new to this board but not new to TTCAL. 1st BFP 8/17, MMC 9/15, D&C 9/26.
2. Status? Been ttc since end of October and BFN so far. AF arrived both times right before the holidays (Thanksgiving & Christmas)
3. Rants/Raves: Tired of feeling jealous/angry every time someone close to me announces a pregnancy.
4. GTKY: Holiday gifts - What was your favorite gift this year? Husband got me a kayak. It’s our favorite hobby in the spring/summer.

40momma · January 2018

1. Not new. 3mc in 2017, just saying that still shocks me sometimes. How in the heck did I get here?
2.CD 10 and OB gave me the green light to try again but after 3 MC, I really wish we had some answers before trying again. I'm considering starting Obiquinol, has anyone taken this? From what I've read there's no harm in taking it.
3. I'm still in my pjs, refusing to start back to work. Please don't make me goooooooo.
4. A beautiful custom made bench, I just wish we had the perfect spot for it but I can't figure out where to put it

@Mack2342 and @dpjennifer can we all call in sick to work today???

@Jamps728 and @Knottie1467758220 welcome to the board, hope your stays are short

@lin0442 ouch, sorry about the coworker comment. I really don't think people mean to be insensitive half the time but it really stings

@Kath525 oh no, horrible timing. Hope the fever breaks quickly!

@acciocoffee I can't read your username without getting subliminal messages to turn the coffee machine on again! I need caffeine!!

honeybeebub · January 2018

I posted in the TWW but figured I would post here too... AF actually came today... so CD1

I'm 15DPO with BFN, but no AF. We'll be doing 2 monitored cycles to make sure everything is balanced out and then likely moving on to IVF.
I have decided to take a break from the bump for now. I truly do love seeing everyone's updates and the support that you all have given, but I do think that having it always available makes me constantly think about TTC and adds additional stress. Of course I will probably still log on here and there to check how you all are doing. Wishing you all BFPs in the meantime

lin0442 · January 2018

@40momma I understand wanting answers! It’s tough to be in that limbo where everything is ‘normal’, even though something obviously isn’t.

My coworker didn’t know what I was going through, and, while pleasantly griping about her daughter who is home from college, told me to ‘Enjoy your house with no children in it.’

Obviously I didn’t take it well. I’m still kind of reeling from it, although she immediately realized what was up and apologized profusely. She’s really a very sweet lady, but it was a heck of a thing to hear.

vlagrl29 · January 2018

@honeybeebub - I get it! I'll miss you! I took a small break over the summer and just a week ago between xmas and new years I seriously thought about stopping for real. Darn it though I need a peace of mind from an RE next week. I'm feeling my mind moving on though I really do. I always like starting a new year out fresh with new goals in mind. I came home from yoga this morning to watching DD and DH watching the video from our hawaiian honeymoon. It really reminded me what life is really about and I told DH jokingly "forget that doctor appt next week, lets save for another hawaiian vacation." At the very end of the video my eyes started watering happily. I'm ready to make peace with this journey.

dpjennifer · January 2018

Mack2342 Ugh. I felt nauseous yesterday when I was a little hungry, and immediately I'm like "PG!!!!" *sigh* Even though it's a few days before AF (maybe as many as 3 or so...) and that I've had a few AFs where I had nauseous so bad I wanted to vomit everywhere. But, surprisingly I've been calm. I expect that to become a shyte show over the next few days though... And Thank YOU for reminding me of the long weekend!!!! Lifesaver! I'm legit here thinking, Hmm... would it be awful to take a personal day already? haha.

40momma Sorry. I get the shock. It's frustrating to be through as much as we have. I lost my crap big time this past October when I realized I was 2 years since my first MC and 4 MC into this journey. Life is a shyte show sometimes.

honeybeebub I'll miss you! I hope you can relax some with your Bump Break!

lin0442 Ouch with the coworker... that's awful.

Mack2342 · January 2018

@dpjennifer I’m always good in the TWW until the last 4 or 5 days then get crazy stupid lol. Not too early for personal day. I was just checking on how much leave I have so I can plan for a day off. Work just seems to get in the way. FX AF does not show up!!

@honeybeebub you will be missed but totally understand

@40momma what is obiquinol?

40momma · January 2018

@honeybeebub sorry to see you go but completely understand the need

@lin0442 I had something similar recently. I posted a photo on fb of my trip to Portugal (that I took to get the heck out of town as I was recovering from my 3rd mc and needed something to take my mind off of it) and a good friend posted 'your life is so easy without kids'. Yeah, ouch.

@Mack2342 it's CoQ10, something our bodies produce but as we get older, our bodies stop producing it. It can be taken as a supplement that supposedly helps with egg quality. I first read about it in 'It Starts With An Egg'

vlagrl29 · January 2018

yeah it's ubiquinol and I've been taking 400mg a day since late sept/early oct. @40momma - figured it can't hurt

Kath525 · January 2018

@Mack2342 a mark III .22 I love it!
@40momma it's so tough not to have answers. Hoping 2018 has a different result for you!
@honeybeebub you gotta do whatever makes you the healthiest on this journey. Wishing you the best!
@lin0442 that's rough. Those comments aren't easy to listen to.

Mrs Carbo · January 2018

1. Introduce yourself (if new) - this is my first 'week of' post... so kind of new? We are TTC our third. This is my second first tri loss.

2. Status... I *think* I'm WTO. I had a natural MC on 12/17, beta confirmed 0 last week.

3. Rants/Raves... I feel like I'm going insane trying to figure out what my body is doing after this MC. I have had zero CM. I always conceive when I'm less stressed so I'm trying to have the mindset that 'it'll happen when it happens' but that's so not my style. It's taking all of my willpower not to order OPKs.

4. GTKY: Holiday gifts - What was your favorite gift this year... a pair of Tieks that I can wear to work instead of heels!

Mack2342 · January 2018

@40momma yes I take coq10 ubiquinol. I’ve been taking it along with dhea for about 4 or 5 months now. I read about it and did some research so I mentioned it to RE a few months back and he said he recommends to all his patients but no one had mentioned to me. I started taking both then. He made it sound like it would be beneficial the following but everything I read said it takes a couple of months for it to work. I was only getting 2 follicles until the 2nd month I used it then I got 4 follicles. I swear it was coq10 and dhea that increased follicles

40momma · January 2018

How many mg are you taking for both? @vlagrl29 are you taking dhea as well?
I haven't been to an RE but my OB has run a few tests and when I ask him about supplements he seems to often say 'there's no concrete evidence but if you feel better taking it you can'.

Mack2342 · January 2018

I’m taking 400mg of coq10 and 25mg of dhea 3 times a day if I remember lol

zamoraspin · January 2018

@honeybeebub You take care of yourself first, that is what is important. I can understand needing a break.
@40momma I have been taking CoQ10 since soon after my first loss. I read It Starts With the Egg and I think it's a great resource although it also made me hopeful I could improve my eggs which, maybe they have improved but so far I've had two more losses. I have also tried to rid our house of phthalates and BPA and started a higher fat and protein/lower carb diet back in November (although I ate what I wanted). I think it's great to try all of these things although so far I have had no better luck. @mack2342 I have also heard about DHEA but my RE was pretty emphatic she didn't want me to take it. She said the research shows it will give you on average one more egg per cycle, which is helpful for DOR folks going through IVF, but for most people there are side effects that outweigh the benefits. Idk, I'm glad it is helping you.

1. Introduce yourself (if new) Not new, 3 first tri mc's, 35, no living children
2. Status? TWW but really WFAF as I tested today (11dpo) and BFN
3. Rants/Raves: Meh. It has been a crappy day that started with a BFN and my car not starting. DH and I are deciding how many cycles we are going to try for before doing IVF. I am inclined to do 1-2 more cycles only, he is not so sure. We had agreed one more loss and we would do IVF but we hadn't really talked about what happens if I don't get ku.
4. GTKY: Holiday gifts - What was your favorite gift this year? My DH got me an Apple Watch. It is very fancy, I'm still learning how to use it as it came in the mail after Christmas.

coco2787 · January 2018

1. Introduce yourself (if new)
Been here a couple weeks, MMC dx @ 9 weeks on 12/8

2. Status?
Still waiting for HCG to be at zero

3. Rants/Raves:
Frustrated with the waiting game. I feel like my future is just more waiting and it's hard to see an end in sight- WFAF, WTO, TWW, repeat. I know most of you have been waiting much, much longer, so I empathize greatly.

4. GTKY: Holiday gifts - What was your favorite gift this year?
A necklace from my SIL to remember the baby.

coco2787 · January 2018

@dpjennifer FX this is your cycle!
@Mack2342 I hope you can get some useful information from your test results.
@Jamps728 I'm so sorry your parents are making this harder for you. I don't know why people don't understand that asking about children is such a personal question

@Kath525 have fun at Disney! Hope the fever goes away though

@acciocoffee yay for being off the bench! I totally agree with how great everyone here is, it's been such a lifesaver

@lin0442 I'm sorry about the anniversary and the hurtful coworker. Sending creepy internet hugs

@Knottie1467758220 welcome and sorry for your loss. I totally understand the announcement jealousy.
@40momma I'm sorry you've been through so much this year. It's not fair.
@honeybeebub I understand the need for a break. It can be hard not to get obsessive.
@mrs carbo I'm trying to have the same attitude about TTC but so far I'm not having any luck

pumpkinpancake · January 2018

1. Introduce yourself (if new) Not new, but back after a short break. 1st MC in July/August, 2nd MC end of November.

2. Status? I decided to stay off the bump for the last couple weeks of the year, both to distract myself from TTC and also just because of traveling and being busier. Still currently benched for now, but hopeful to be able to try again soon.

3. Rants/Raves: AF showed up yesterday as a way to ring in the new year. I’m happy about it though because it was roughly when I would
have expected it as the first AF after this MC, which makes me hopeful that things are getting back to normal.

My RE had said to call on CD1 to schedule my saline ultrasound, so I have that scheduled now for next week. A bit nervous about that but hopefully it will go well. They’re putting me on 5 days of antibiotics because of it though, which I’m less than thrilled about. Have any of you had this kind of ultrasound and if so, did you have to take antibiotics?

4. GTKY: Holiday gifts - What was your favorite gift this year? I mostly got gift cards for the holidays this year, so I’ll have to figure out something to buy myself. TW below, child mentioned.

My nanny gave me a calendar she had made with all pictures of my son, which was really the sweetest gift ever.

End TW

40momma · January 2018

@zamora_spin Yeah, I have to keep reminding myself that it's really all a shot in the dark anyway and to not get my hopes set on these changes making any difference. But a few things can't hurt I guess. Trying to get the BPA out of my house hasn't been too hard so far as we are normally pretty good with using re-usable glass instead of plastic. But I did shed a tear when I took my toenail polish off, I hate going bare toe!

zamoraspin · January 2018

@40momma There are some phthalate free nail polishes on the market - the one I bought was Zoya. Not amazing but better than nothing. It definitely feels good to try things that might help. If nothing else each time I’ve been pregnant again I’ve been able to point to something I improved and it has helped to keep me optimistic that it will work out.

vlagrl29 · January 2018

@40momma your OB says that same reason mine does. They only support big pharma. I've been with a naturopath for a few months and it's been a great eye opener. Real personalized care. But alas I'll be seeing an RE next week cause I'm ready to be done with the ttc journey and hoping it gets me there faster. I take 400mg of ubiquinol every day. I get it from Costco. I do not take dhea because mine was tested a year ago and At the time it was 2 points above the normal range. I don't like taking natural things that are hormones. I'm crazy OCD with that cause I'm protective of my natural hormone levels. I'm also not going crazy OCD with some of that stuff in that egg book because there is a fine line before I go BSC. I'm not changing out my makeup and cleaning supplies. Not worth it to me. I also stopped using opks and don't bbt either. I'm in a happy spot with this journey.

40momma · January 2018

Thanks for the tip @zamora_spin. I'll take a look for Zoya around here.
And @vlagrl29 luckily I hate cleaning so no need to change any cleaning supplies, I don't touch the stuff

dpjennifer · January 2018

pumpkinpancake I had a saline ultrasound, but did not take any antibiotics for it. What did they say the antibiotics were for??

zamora_spin Ugh... I feel the need to research CoQ10 now.

Although a large part of me is sort of in your boat... where I've spent so many months trying to be as healthy as possible, and being optimistic it would help me have a great PG and whatnot... only to end up with 3 more MCs. So... part of me is like F it, it's not like anything else has helped and the 'specialists' still have no clue.

zamoraspin · January 2018

@dpjennifer My Re seems convinced I should be on the CoQ10 and has me on Theralogix brand (I think it's NeoQ10) which allegedly has some kind of magic absorption power making it equivalent to 600+ mg? Idk. I'm not convinced it's any better than the Jarrow brand I was taking before but it ends up simpler to take just one pill. I feel like it's very hard to study egg quality changes since the only people whose eggs you can actually "see" are IVF patients. The ISTWE lady claims to have improved her egg numbers dramatically through the stuff in her book. On the other hand I feel like there is natural variation cycle to cycle. I guess I will say my first loss I had barely viable betas, my second loss was a CP where my betas never got higher than 23, and my third loss I had perfect betas until about 6w. So, my last bad embryo after starting Theralogix was better than my first two bad embryos? But that could also easily be luck. I know you know this but it is just so hard with unexplained RPL because no one seems to know what works. I am in the camp of doing all the things (within reason, not anything that might mess my cycle up, and knowing that sometimes I will eat a brownie or a slice of pizza) so that I know we have done our best, but probably like you, I have some skepticism that I really have any control.

dpjennifer · January 2018

zamora_spin Exactly!!!! Well, I seem to have plenty of eggs; however, as you said the quality of them is very unknown. Unless we would do IVF they have no idea. My first MC they suspected to be molar because I was 8 weeks or so along and it only measured 5.5 weeks and my body hadn't tried to pass it and there was a lot of tissue and whatnot around it. (It wasn't). The next MC was around 5.5 weeks and natural. The last 2 were MCs only a few days or so after I got a positive on a test. *sigh* I've never seen a beta number in the triple digits, although to be fair the first PG I never had betas and the second I wasn't granted betas until AFTER I'd started bleeding...
I'm still trying to decide if we should just go straight for low levels of clomid if this cycle is unsuccessful (which it appears to be) to try and boost egg quality. Any research on CoQ10 vs. clomid for egg quality effects?

pumpkinpancake · January 2018

@dpjennifer they said the antibiotics are a precaution because introducing saline into the uterus could cause infection. I hate the idea of unnecessary antibiotics though, and would rather not take them.

How was the saline ultrasound for you? Was it uncomfortable/painful at all?

zamoraspin · January 2018

@dpjennifer I think I tried to research clomid for RPL very briefly at one point and couldn't find much. One commentator noted that if the issue is immature eggs, clomid could help. When I asked my RE about whether my eggs could be immature, she thought that was not possible because an egg either is or is not mature enough to fertilize, and mine have been mature enough to fertilize, therefore they are mature. On the other hand she offered me a 100mg prescription (3 cycles worth) of clomid and I took it this past cycle. She agreed it was possible it might make me hyperovulate and therefore possibly give a higher chance of a successful embryo (two eggs are better than one). I was unmonitored and thought I might have hypberovulated (double sided O pain, a first) but, BFN, so, whatever happened it didn't work. The reason people think CoQ10 helps egg quality is that in studies eggs with more ATP (which is basically energy) are healthier (they do the job of editing DNA better which is the egg's main job and not doing it well causes failure in pregancy), and CoQ10 has been shown to increase ATP available to cells. Ergo, more ATP, better eggs. Also applies to sperm, or so I hear, so DH is also on a supplement.

dpjennifer · January 2018

pumpkinpancake It could be the way they do it, or just a precaution? I had a hsg/dye test first, did you have one of those? I found the saline test to be easy-peasy. Not as painful as my 7 week interior ultrasound, definitely nowhere near as painful as the endometrial biopsy I had. No worse than getting the dye test and/or a pap smear. However, FYI, when they remove the thing at the end, there was a GUSH of liquid (the saline solution) exiting... it was sorta gross and unexpected. LOL.

vlagrl29 · January 2018

Just realized I hadn't actually checked in yet

Not New - WTO

R/R - something happened last night to our 8 yo parakeet. At first I thought he hurt his foot cause he was shaking it and sounded distressed. 3AM got up and checked - he wasn't sounding distressed anymore and was on his perch. Late morning today he passed away

He was a great bird who lived a long happy life. It just sucks. This time last year he got really sick but pulled thru - I was hoping he'd live a bit longer.

My favorite gift this year was $100 cash and $100 spa gift card - I have an appt Friday at the spa for an hour long facial and massage.

While we are talking about supplements I also have DH on 200mg of ubiquinol. Its supposed to be good for sperm too.

acciocoffee · January 2018

I'm coming back here to have a rant session. We just got our ER bill from the MC and it was over $3000 that we have to pay. I knew it would be bad, but I was not expecting that! The only reason we had to go to the ER was because my OB office couldn't fit me in for an ultrasound (I am switching OBs because this is a constant problem). They couldn't even find time to squeeze me in for an emergency, but they insisted I go to the ER in case it was ectopic. Now I have a huge bill to pay that we can't afford without draining half our savings and I'm super mad. We paid less to actually HAVE a baby than we are now having to pay because we lost this one. Also, because the MC happened in 2017, if we do somehow get PG this year our deductible starts over again so there is literally no bright side to this. I'm super upset and I am currently looking at new jobs because mine doesn't pay well and it's only part-time and we apparently need money now. I really wish DH had waited to tell me this later tonight after I got home. Now I can't focus on work and I just want to cry.

dpjennifer · January 2018

vlagrl29 Sorry to hear about your parakeet.

Hope you enjoy your spa treatments though!

acciocoffee So sorry! The financial aspects of MC just heap more emotional toil upon something already heartbreaking!

Did your insurance cover any of it? If not, try calling and saying you can't pay and see if they'll lower the total of the bill.

vlagrl29 · January 2018

I'm sorry @acciocoffe - that seems like a LOT of money. I'm assuming it was actually more before insurance covered their part. Can you see if there is a way to get a discount if you pay it all at once? I know I've done that before. Otherwise you can make small payments every month and you don't have to worry about interest.

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