Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Baby Shower Thread
@BertieMeetsGertie do you think you could pass that information along to whoever is hosting? Then when guests ask, they can let them know in a tactful way. We also had some people order their gifts online and they shipped directly to our house, which was awesome.
Just a personal idea of mine, but I think I’ll register for a few classics/books I’d really like to have given to us by someone special - it’s a great small, meaningful gift and not too pricey for family/friends on a budget!
For first-time baby showers, I think unless you're Type A OCD, let someone close to you who's willing plan the party. I'm not very outgoing, so I feel bad inviting people to my own shower, like I'm begging for handouts. But, that's just me.
I find a baby registry very helpful, both as a parent and as a gift-giver. It helps me keep track of what all I still need to buy myself once the shower(s) are finished. As a giver, it helps me to know exactly what the parents like (diaper brands, color schemes, bottle types, etc.). You will still have people who don't look at your registry and get you what THEY think you need. At the worst, you can always sell it or re-gift it to another mom later. We had 3 baby registries with DD (Wal-Mart, BRU, and Amazon). This go around, I'm only making 1 on Amazon because it's so much simpler to keep track of what you do/don't have instead of comparing between the different lists.
I also think that there should at least be some finger foods and a cute cake / cupcakes. My in-law family loves food and they went all out for the shower for DD. We were feasting on leftovers for several days, which I didn't mind because I helped pick out some of the foods!!
I prefer going to showers that are at a neutral location if we're not super close friends. I feel like I'm invading their space. However, having the party in your own home is a whole lot easier to go ahead and put up all the gifts instead of lugging them from the party location to the house. The bulk of items adds up quick and the space in cars suddenly gets smaller!
BFP 2/25/14 EDD 11/5/14 BD 11/4/14
BFP 8/26/17 EDD 5/5/18
Dating since: 11/17/2001
Married: 9/26/2009
TTC: June 2016
EDD: 5/14/2018
On the topic of shower ideas, I do not plan on being involved in the planning of my shower(s) unless the hosts specifically ask me. I appreciate any sort of shower they throw for me, and don't care too much about the details. I will say that my dad's side of the family wants to throw my shower at a country club. Very generous of them, but so not my style. However, they are the hosts...and like I said, I am grateful for whatever they do. That being said....I did have a bit of a sad/hormonal moment this morning thinking about my baby shower. My families are HUGE (my mom has 9 brothers and sisters) so it is pretty standard for my dads side to host one shower and my mom's side to host another. One of my mom's sisters passed away three months ago. I was closer to her than my own mother, and if she were alive she would be the one to host my shower for me. It really hit me hard thinking about that today, and was a bit more sadness than I could take. However, I am grateful that we shared our pregnancy news with her three weeks before she passed, and her daughter (my best friend) will be in the delivery room with my husband and I.
Sorry to hijack the thread and get all sappy....but, had to let it out!
I can't wait to see how everyone's showers turn out! +1 for being anti-games.
Shower Gift Opening: It seems awkward to me because everyone sees the registry so they know I charlestonchew I think it's boring too to be the guest watching the gifts being opened but I get that it is sometimes one of the reasons people enjoy attending. I love the idea of the bingo game whilst opening the gifts. Makes it more fun.
UNPOPULAR OPINION- I don't think people should get things that are not on the registry. My husband and I are strict vegans and don't support certain companies for ethical reasons. We also love to buy local or consigned and support USA companies...but how can you write that all in an invite without not sounding ridiculous or a primadonna? We also don't want cheap clothing from overseas factories when we can just buy that stuff at a consignment shop. Ugh, I am thinking about this as I type and realizing half of you are prob rolling your eyes at me right now.
oywiththepoodlesalready@doubleblessings1124@charlestonchew I think there is nothing wrong with a diaper raffle....you don't have to participate and you can win some pretty cool shit. I wish I could do that but we are doing cloth diapers. My mom is buying homegoods gift cards for other "game prizes" she has organized. I'd be stoked if I brought a pack of diapers and won a 50$ giftcard to Homegoods!
@justsuzie I don't think there is anything wrong with being specific about what stores/brands you like. I would suggest that you build a registry of the brands and products that you are happy to use. It would be tough to put in an invite, but hopefully most guests know your preferences and stick to the registry. And word of mouth works wonders (telling older relatives and a fee close friends about your purchasing preferences should do the trick!) You may get a gift or two that is off registry, but hopefully it comes with a gift receipt!
Here's an article on how to get people to stay on registry: https://www.rookiemoms.com/how-to-get-them-to-stick-to-your-baby-registry/
And I would add that putting gift cards as an option would also be helpful for guiding people to what you want without having to state it bluntly.
@lincbeesmom we always used toilet paper and whoever got closest to the right amount of squares won a prize. That is probably my favorite baby shower game.
I am not planning on being involved in the planning of mine (and honestly not sure who will host one as hubbys family is in town but mine is far away), but I've had friends ask me when it will be and what I prefer.
I see pros and cons to both.
Before let's you stock up before baby but no one meets the baby.
After let's people meet the baby (or spread their germs!) and buy "sex-specific" items (not my words and I get that boys can wear pink etc, but some people like giving the "gender" stereotype gifts)
Probably not something you could do in a more formal sett I ng, but we had fun.
@babys_2018 I had two showers before DS was born. It was nice to be stocked up and organized before he came. After he was born, one of our good friends did a meal train sign up for us and people would bring us dinner and come meet the baby. It was nice to have one on one time with people and the baby and we really appreciated the meals they provided.
@justsuzie not eye rolling at all. I didn’t register for clothes and still got a ton of things I’d never in a million years put on my own child who spends most of her time in bonnets and bubbles. the beautiful thing about your own child is no one else’s opinions or preferences on anything matter!
If we saw a specific outfit we wanted, we just bought it and not in newborn, haha. So many newborn clothes had to be exchanged for bigger sizes.
I don't expect one will be thrown for this baby. it's not typical around here to have more than one shower and I've noticed a lot of side-eyeing when one is brought up for STM+s.
When I go to showers I typically get something educational (book or toy), an article of clothing for a bit down the road (6-9mo) and something for the mom if we are super close (lansolin cream, nursing pads, chocolate lol)
I think the word of mouth tip mentioned earlier is a good one as well.
i Definitely tried to register for cheaper (yet also necessary) items. Honestly the expensive things on my registry are on there so I can get 15% off. I don’t expect anyone to buy that stuff.
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
ETA: your and you’re is hard
Usually a couple people volunteer or are nominated to admin. Group is also usually set to secret so it remains invite only.
Id be up for talking about this closer to February or March!
I don’t think we nominated admins, but used the same ones as on here. That was back when TB had member mods for each board. Our group is secret.