Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: December IVF anyone???
@krenee124 Glad to hear you've been doing a bit better. Sounds like your doctor is keeping on top of things. I hope you continue to improve. Gosh, your little bean must be a fighter!!!!
@ndz2018 Wohoo! So exciting! Your ER is just around the corner!
@bpietronicco Good luck with your beta tomorrow! FX for great news for you!
Ugh, I am definitely getting uncomfortable. I was having really light cramping here and there over the last couple of days, but holy crap, it really picked up today. My ovaries are definitely feeling all the growing follicles. Acupuncture went well today so hopefully that helped in the ovarian stimulation department!
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
@bpietronicco FX for your beta tomorrow!!
Question : what did you or will you do with your leftover UNOPENED medication ? I have Two unopened boxes of Gonal and an unopened thing of pregnayl . I know how much people pay for these meds out of pocket. My insurance covered it and I paid $124 for everything so I would HATE for these to go to waste. I wonder If the clinic has a donation program. Any suggestions welcome!
Me-PCOS DH-nothing wrong
History in the spoiler (child and pregnancy loss mentioned)
FET #1 - March 2015 -- BFP twin boys
Lost one twin June 2017
FET #2 - August 2017 -- BFP single girl
Miscarriage Oct 2017
IVF #2 - Jan 2018 - 13 eggs retrieved down to 1 blast
IVF #3 - June 2018 - BFN (transferred 2, 1 from previous cycle and 1 adopted embryo)
Break from TTC and IVF
FET # 4 - Unknown start date, waiting to finalize everything
I hope this baby/babies are fighting hard in there! I’m certainly doing my best to take care of them!
@bpietronicco good luck mama!!! The 28th is finally here! Fingers crossed!!!
@tosh24 I’m glad acupuncture is helping!! I never did do it but was going to give a try!
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
So hoping this is our last and only ER that we’ll be doing! I can definitely feel it in my ovaries these last few days! Looking forward to Fri morning!
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
The pio... ugh...not looking forward to that but it definitely helps.
Me-PCOS DH-nothing wrong
History in the spoiler (child and pregnancy loss mentioned)
FET #1 - March 2015 -- BFP twin boys
Lost one twin June 2017
FET #2 - August 2017 -- BFP single girl
Miscarriage Oct 2017
IVF #2 - Jan 2018 - 13 eggs retrieved down to 1 blast
IVF #3 - June 2018 - BFN (transferred 2, 1 from previous cycle and 1 adopted embryo)
Break from TTC and IVF
FET # 4 - Unknown start date, waiting to finalize everything
@krenee124 How are you feeling today?
AFM, I had my CD10 monitoring today. I was hoping for a few more follies in the 1.5-1.6 range at this point, but it is what it is. I'm trying not to stress and worry because it's not like I'm not doing everything I can at this point with the supplements, acupuncture and the meds. On my right ovary I have a 1.3, a 1.2, and a 1.1. On my left ovary I have a 1.7, 1.6, 1.6, 1.5, 1.4, 1.4, 1.2, and a 1.0. My left ovary has always been the better producer. My lining is at a 1.2. I'm getting fairly uncomfortable, especially in my left ovary. It's hard to put on socks in the morning lol! And my pants are tight today (and they're yoga pants, so....). I have acupuncture tomorrow so FX that helps things along. The nurse will call to confirm when my blood work is back, but she's thinking that they'll see me again for monitoring on Sunday.
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
I had 2 12mm on the right and several smaller. The left was hiding today but still measured 2 12s and 1 11 and a few smaller. I was hoping for some a bit bigger but I am still happy with what we have. I imagine Dr might up my gonal f for tomorrow but we shall see.
Me-PCOS DH-nothing wrong
History in the spoiler (child and pregnancy loss mentioned)
FET #1 - March 2015 -- BFP twin boys
Lost one twin June 2017
FET #2 - August 2017 -- BFP single girl
Miscarriage Oct 2017
IVF #2 - Jan 2018 - 13 eggs retrieved down to 1 blast
IVF #3 - June 2018 - BFN (transferred 2, 1 from previous cycle and 1 adopted embryo)
Break from TTC and IVF
FET # 4 - Unknown start date, waiting to finalize everything
@ndz2018 I’m anxiously awaiting to hear from you!
I am getting better! Blood work came back in the normal range for electrolytes and all.. no more betas. First ultrasound on 1/5. I think I will feel and believe more when I see it!! I’m a nervous wreck after last time.
So so excited for you @tosh24 and @mandurz. Moving right along!!
@krenee124 So glad to hear that you're feeling better!!!!!!!! Count down to the ultrasound is on!
@bpietronicco Thank you! Looking forward to hearing your u/s results. I bet it feels like time is moving so unbearably slowly.
@ndz2018 I've also been stalking the thread today waiting to hear about your ER. Hope it all went well!
Got a call from my nurse. They're going to see me on Sunday morning for my next monitoring appointment. She thinks I'll trigger either Sunday or Monday night for retrieval on Tuesday or Wednesday, but I guess we'll have to wait and see what Sunday's numbers say. They measure estrogen in different units in Canada than in the US, so I don't know how my numbers measure up to other levels that people have posted, but my estrogen on Tuesday was about 2850 and my estrogen today was 9290 (the number in Canada works out to be much bigger than in the US...I'll have to ask for the units so I can convert them online).
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
29 EGGS!! TWENTY FREAKIN NINE!!! I get The call tomorrow to see how many fertilized we are using ICSI so im assuming a lot? We’ll see
I was just as shocked as you are when they told me 29 eggs!!! Like i said I havent been keep track or counting at the appointments so my jaw dropped when I heard that number!
Yes we will be freezing the ones that make it to day 5, they’ll be biopsied and PGS tested. I’m probably looking at a March/April transfer.
Yes, the more eggs you have, the higher your estrogen level probably is. And the higher your estrogen, the greater risk you have for developing OHSS. If you're not already, I'd be proactive and start drinking gatorade, smart water, and/or coconut water and eating salty snacks.
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
@krenee124 How did you feel the day after retrieval? I didn’t think I’d be feeling like this the following day. Crappy, bloated, feel like crap so I’m just gonna kinda rest and use this time to eat like crap
Me-PCOS DH-nothing wrong
History in the spoiler (child and pregnancy loss mentioned)
FET #1 - March 2015 -- BFP twin boys
Lost one twin June 2017
FET #2 - August 2017 -- BFP single girl
Miscarriage Oct 2017
IVF #2 - Jan 2018 - 13 eggs retrieved down to 1 blast
IVF #3 - June 2018 - BFN (transferred 2, 1 from previous cycle and 1 adopted embryo)
Break from TTC and IVF
FET # 4 - Unknown start date, waiting to finalize everything
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
ETA: Can I just at say how much I love this forum and how glad I am that it is such a repository of good information? Throughout this process I feel like I have been so well-informed and could better advocate for myself because of the ladies of IF. What a great community. I couldn't have done this without all the ladies who have come before me
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
AFM another few days. I am gonna nickname my overies creepers this time. Last time it's like they exploded but this time they are taking their sweet time. I have 8 that she measured between 10-13 with 4 on each side. I feel like there are a few more but she is only measuring the main ones which is perfectly fine. Between Wednesday and Friday my estrogen went down and Dr didn't increase my shot which is super suprising, his reason was the follicles we're still growing so wanted to let them be one more time before any changes. I am waiting to see what my levels are at today and what my shot dosage will be for tomorrow. Then back for a monitor Tuesday. I am still very glad we have around 8measurable follicles cuz that was the top end of our goal so I am still in high hopes that things are right on track (just taking a few extra days).
Me-PCOS DH-nothing wrong
History in the spoiler (child and pregnancy loss mentioned)
FET #1 - March 2015 -- BFP twin boys
Lost one twin June 2017
FET #2 - August 2017 -- BFP single girl
Miscarriage Oct 2017
IVF #2 - Jan 2018 - 13 eggs retrieved down to 1 blast
IVF #3 - June 2018 - BFN (transferred 2, 1 from previous cycle and 1 adopted embryo)
Break from TTC and IVF
FET # 4 - Unknown start date, waiting to finalize everything
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019