I’ll do my best to tag but I’m still not a functional human being.
First BF goes to DH who went on a huge tangent about how he’s got to get up to medicate me, how he’s doing all the cleaning, how I’m needy and don’t do anything myself. Y’all. I saw fire. I’m the one who can’t eat, who’s been in and out of hospitals, poked a million times, been hooked up to IVs, not been allowed to drink fing water for 24 hours, been drugged beyond knowing wtf was going on. And he thinks he has it hard. I’m almost halfway through this pregnancy and I’m barely 100lbs. I look like a fing skeleton. My wedding rings fall off of me. And he thinks it’s not fair for him. I HAVENT HAD MY KID IN A MONTH. Y’all a month. She doesn’t want to even talk to me when i FaceTime. I’m just broken and sick and just done.
Now that I’m done hysterically melting down.
@sandbar517 knowing the truth of the name helps a lot when it comes down to it. My ex husband used MY name that I had planned for my daughter. I’m still using it. People can say what they want but he knows what he did. I’m not letting him control my life and my decisions. That being said, that’s super shitty that your friend *forgot* it was on her list. I’m calling BS on that. It’s a beautiful name. If you’re in the position to use it after your AS, don’t let stupid people stop you.
@onesmallcoconut that sounds awful. I hope today is significantly better.
@crazyliblady my last job was like that. It was impossible to make people happy. I hope they cut you some slack soon.
Uhh comments on women’s pregnant bodies are NOT. OKAY. EVER. I have some tell me “omg you’re so skinny and little to be halfway done”. Uhhh thanks? It’s the hospitalized diet? You too could have this body for the price of obsene amounts of Zofran and Norco and nutrients through an IV!
Okay im bitter and woke up on the wrong side of the bed today apparently.
@Poppy0419, is your husband still living?! I might have killed mine talking like that after all you have been through! Seriously though, I'm so sorry! I hope you start feeling better soon!! Hugs!
I’m not saying he’s alive. Im just saying that I haven’t figured out how to get him in the lake behind the house. Luckily he’s at work today and away from me. Where I like him right now. Ass.
@poppy0419 hopefully he is taking the time away to reflect on what an ass he was to you. Damn, so sorry you are having to deal with his manitude on top of all the other stress you have been going through. I really hope he comes home and apologizes. I can see my SO acting very similar if I was in your shoes. I hope you get well soon!
@Poppy0419 Wow. Just...wow. I could imagine my dh saying he was tired or that it was hard to see me suffer, but all the not fairness is definitely on your side. I will gladly give him a tour of our fire escape if you bring him here.
Jana Lynn
Happily married since 5/24/2015 Momma of a baby Viking since 4/16, expecting #2 in 5/18
Now... @Poppy0419 HOLY *********!!!!! I would have not only seen fire but I would have spat flames of it at mine. I can appreciate him feeling stressed with all of your health issues and worrying about you and the baby, and taking care of DD and work and the house. But slap on a fucking happy face and do it. And never, and I mean NEVER complain that your incredibly ill hospitalized pregnant wife is making your life harder to her face! That shit goes to strangers on the internet!!
Oh princess @Poppy0419 I kind of want to slap him for you... I’m so sorry you’re going through SOOOO much this pregnancy, and on top of it all you miss your outside baby, and that your husband is being a spooty head... *creepy internet hugs*
LOL @poppy0419! We can organize a trip to you. We have a lot of ladies who watch crime shows so we can get him to the lake. UGH! Men! Everything is always SOOO much harder for them. How do they even make it through the day.
@justsuzie, LOL The population would die out if men got periods and had to birth babies.
@bwow615, Manitude is perfect! I need to use that in reference to my DH!
@Poppy0419 you are a champ for all you've had to deal with..including your husband's annoying comments. I hope he straightens up and you start feeling better!
So who wants to form a posse to go smack some sense into @Poppy0419 's husband? I am also in the camp of thinking you've handled all this like a superstar, and I can't believe what an asshole he was!! I hope it was a moment of tired insanity and he's come to his senses and come crawling for forgiveness. Preferably with many expensive presents. I'm sorry things are so hard right now and hope they start looking up soon!
@Poppy0419 I don’t even know what I would do if my DH said that to me. I can’t even begin to imagine. First of all, it’s so horrible and uncaring, secondly it’s incredibly unattractive. News flash men, you are supposed to act like MEN...You know, those people who shoulder some responsibility without bitching. No woman wants to sleep with a man child. It’s disgusting! If you cant suck it up and clean a house and hand your incredibly sick wife some medication, you are very unlikely to get laid any time soon if ever again.
Princess @Poppy0419....I can totally relate. Granted, I have not been nearly as sick as you. When I was at the peak of nausea and weight loss my husband called me a "walking corpse" and that I was making him "miserable and depressed".....oooo boy he hasn't heard the end of that one. I was like "I'm making you miserable?!! Oh I am so sorry that my debilitating pregnancy nausea/sickness is making you miserable. Please excuse me while I go suck it up so that you can be happier"
My husband always responds, "well this is what you wanted" when I say anything that semi resembles a complaint. And then I make sure to use all the toilet paper and not replace it.
@justsuzie@kpc914 uhhh do they wanna die with mine?!? For real do men not know how to THINK?!?
He hasnt “apologized” but my house is painfully spotless and there’s now easy to grab food in the fridge. He also managed to use his day off to get out of my sight today. My parents REAMED him. Like totally lost their shit. And if I wasn’t basically isolated i would have packed mine and went to their house. It’s fine. He’s got an appointment with a Urologist in June now. If he’s got such big balls, I’ll tame them for him.
I broke down and cried again to my OB at my appointment today. All of the nurses basically swarmed and had to check on me. This has been physically hard but it’s wrecked me emotionally. I’m halfway done with antibiotics and I’m officially off Norco and managing pain with Tylenol now which is a HUGE step. I’m still taking Zofran for nausea. I’m so tired that I took a bath and then literally took a nap on my bathroom floor with towels and a towel made into a pillow. But I’m eating. I haven’t lost any more weight. They just think it will be a long long time before I feel “normal” because I was so so sick.
Also, apparently 20 weeks is too soon to discuss birth control for all you mamas wondering
@Poppy0419 I'm sorry for all the stress you've been under but I'm glad you're on your way to recovery.
It's funny that your OB thought it was too soon to discuss birth control but mine straight up asked "so what will you be using for birth control after this" like, you won't want another one anytime soon lol
@charlestonchew thats too funny. I’ve had issues finding birth control I can take so I told my OB she’s got 20 weeks to make it happen for me nooo more babies for me. I’d happily do something more permanent but they don’t want to.
@Poppy0419 I’m so sorry he’s being an ass. My OB asked me about birth control at my last appointment. I told him I’m ready to make DH his vasectomy appointment asap. He laughed.
@Poppy0419 I’ve carried the birth control burden for almost all of our relationship. It’s his turn. My coworker/DH’s mentor teacher already offered to give him a ride to his appointment, lol. He’s prepped DH for it and luckily DH has always intended on getting one after we decided we were done. This pregnancy has been kicking me ass (although nothing like what you’ve been going through) and I’m done.
@mileswithmyles i think I’m going to try to explain it to DH that way. I’ve carried the burden and now it really is his turn. We just really disagree on how many kids we should have. I think I may have a counseling session scheduled so we can work it out. Because after this I’m honestly a little traumatized.
PS normal pregnancy will kick your ass. Just cause I’m having a hell of a time doesn’t mean you don’t get to bitch about it kicking your ass!
@Poppy0419 I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. I can't believe he's being so obtuse. Totally not the same thing, but I was so annoyed yesterday after I made my own dinner (on my birthday) and when I texted MH to see if he wanted me to leave the crock pot out for him so he could eat when he got home from work, he texted me back, "Can you just make me a plate? I don't feel like cleaning everything up." Ugh, are you serious? I'm pregnant, hosted my sister, BIL and their two kids (thus have a sink full of dirty dishes), am home alone with 3 year old twins and it's my birthday, and you think I feeling like cleaning up???? Men are just so dense sometimes.
MH and I have already been discussing his vasectomy, too. I mentioned there's a small chance I might need to have a hysterectomy (long story short, I had cervical surgery after some abnormal paps in college and at the time, the recommendation was to have a hysterectomy after I'm done having kids to significantly decrease the chance of cervical/uterine cancer) and he said he was going to do it regardless. So, his body, his choice. If that's what he wants to do, I'm not going to stop him. Quick funny story, while at my AS scan yesterday, the US tech asked me something about birth control and I got so confused and I said, "Well not right now, I don't think I need it!" She and MH busted out laughing and MH said, "No, she asked if you were using any when you got pregnant..."
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
We haven't really talked seriously about birth control. While I don't really enjoy being pregnant I don't know if I'm done with two kids. But we've talked on and off over the years of foster parenting and possibly adopting down the line. I'm just not sure I'm ready to do something permanent yet. But I really hated being on the pill.
We've discussed on and off what to do after this baby. I think we'll be done, but I am worried I won't be. Like right now I look around our table at dinner and don't feel like it's complete. Maybe once baby 3 is sitting with us, I will. So we have only temporary plans of either the pill, which I don't necessarily like, or an iud, which I've never had before and honestly it scares me a but due to horror stories. DH has offered to have a vasectomy as I've "literally done everything else when it comes to having kids" so I am grateful for that. I am just not ready for that finality. Another angle we have to look at is we still have 1 frozen embryo. There are several options on what we can do with it, but we've yet to agree on one 100%.
@suchaglencoco I agree there are a lot of horror stories about IUDs, but from my personal experience, I've had two Mirenas and they were the best decisions I've ever made (except maybe taking them out to have my kids LOL). Little to no period (when I say little I mean maaaybe one day of using a liner), don't have to remember pills every day, no side effects for me. I loved them both, and will probably bring it up as an after-birth option until we finalize vasectomy plans.
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
Im with @sandbar517 I had a great experience with the mirena IUD, after the initial few weeks of cramping and spotting. After that phase everything was perfect, no period, no pills to remember, and I felt balanced, unlike how some forms of pills made me have crazy pms. I will likely go with another IUD after this babe is born. I will be 35 in July, we always talked about 3-4 kids, so we will have to see how things go.
Same @sandbar517 and @bwow615 I had a good experience with my Mirena IUD. Some occasional sharp/painful cramping, but it would go away as quickly as it came. I will say....the first 3-6 weeks after taking it our was pretty miserable though... lots of nausea, bleeding, depression, etc. (although relative to how this pregnancy has been going....the post IUD period was a walk in the park).
I had Mirena inserted after my kid was born (maybe 3-4mo after, when I realized I sucked at taking the mini-pill on time). It actually embedded in the side of my uterus and had to be removed. Funny, if I didn’t have that happen, get it removed, and then get back on the mini-pill (which I was on when we conceived) this LO wouldn’t exist! I’d never get an iud again. It was excruciating.
I've heard both good and bad stories on it. The part that worries me personally is that no birth control is 100% (except abstinence!!) and I had a coworker a few years ago get pregnant with an iud and then miscarried because of it. Just too scary to me. I know the odds are low but at least if I got pregnant on the pill or just natural family planning there isn't a huge risk to the baby. And like I said I'm not really sure if we're done so if I get knocked up, I get knocked up!
@theletlers I think there's risk if you get pregnant on the pill if you are unaware and continue taking it but if taken correctly the pill is like 98% I think. The pull out method has no risk and that worked for me for 3 years. You have to have a very disciplined male though. Condoms have no risk either. Anything hormonal I believe has risk.
@sandbar517 theres room in my lake for all kinds of stupid husbands. It’s a rather large lake.
I need to lay off the ID channel apparently.
I got the Skyla IUD after DD and I shit you not it fell out of my body like it was a dark cavernous hole. Like I was standing there in a towel and all of a sudden it’s on the ground. That was a fun call to my OB.
@gildah thank you for making me feel normal because the OB I saw while mine was out awkwardly laughed and said he’d never seen this happen before. I was like thanks. My uterus and vag would kindly ask that you F off.
Re: Monday Bfest 12/18
First BF goes to DH who went on a huge tangent about how he’s got to get up to medicate me, how he’s doing all the cleaning, how I’m needy and don’t do anything myself. Y’all. I saw fire. I’m the one who can’t eat, who’s been in and out of hospitals, poked a million times, been hooked up to IVs, not been allowed to drink fing water for 24 hours, been drugged beyond knowing wtf was going on. And he thinks he has it hard. I’m almost halfway through this pregnancy and I’m barely 100lbs. I look like a fing skeleton. My wedding rings fall off of me. And he thinks it’s not fair for him. I HAVENT HAD MY KID IN A MONTH. Y’all a month. She doesn’t want to even talk to me when i FaceTime. I’m just broken and sick and just done.
Now that I’m done hysterically melting down.
@sandbar517 knowing the truth of the name helps a lot when it comes down to it. My ex husband used MY name that I had planned for my daughter. I’m still using it. People can say what they want but he knows what he did. I’m not letting him control my life and my decisions. That being said, that’s super shitty that your friend *forgot* it was on her list. I’m calling BS on that. It’s a beautiful name. If you’re in the position to use it after your AS, don’t let stupid people stop you.
@onesmallcoconut that sounds awful. I hope today is significantly better.
@crazyliblady my last job was like that. It was impossible to make people happy. I hope they cut you some slack soon.
Uhh comments on women’s pregnant bodies are NOT. OKAY. EVER. I have some tell me “omg you’re so skinny and little to be halfway done”. Uhhh thanks? It’s the hospitalized diet? You too could have this body for the price of obsene amounts of Zofran and Norco and nutrients through an IV!
Okay im bitter and woke up on the wrong side of the bed today apparently.
Now... @Poppy0419 HOLY *********!!!!! I would have not only seen fire but I would have spat flames of it at mine. I can appreciate him feeling stressed with all of your health issues and worrying about you and the baby, and taking care of DD and work and the house. But slap on a fucking happy face and do it. And never, and I mean NEVER complain that your incredibly ill hospitalized pregnant wife is making your life harder to her face! That shit goes to strangers on the internet!!
How are you feeling now?
@justsuzie, LOL The population would die out if men got periods and had to birth babies.
@bwow615, Manitude is perfect! I need to use that in reference to my DH!
The next time he has a cold or stomach bug, repeat it back to him.
He hasnt “apologized” but my house is painfully spotless and there’s now easy to grab food in the fridge. He also managed to use his day off to get out of my sight today. My parents REAMED him. Like totally lost their shit. And if I wasn’t basically isolated i would have packed mine and went to their house. It’s fine. He’s got an appointment with a Urologist in June now. If he’s got such big balls, I’ll tame them for him.
I broke down and cried again to my OB at my appointment today. All of the nurses basically swarmed and had to check on me. This has been physically hard but it’s wrecked me emotionally. I’m halfway done with antibiotics and I’m officially off Norco and managing pain with Tylenol now which is a HUGE step. I’m still taking Zofran for nausea. I’m so tired that I took a bath and then literally took a nap on my bathroom floor with towels and a towel made into a pillow. But I’m eating. I haven’t lost any more weight. They just think it will be a long long time before I feel “normal” because I was so so sick.
Also, apparently 20 weeks is too soon to discuss birth control for all you mamas wondering
It's funny that your OB thought it was too soon to discuss birth control but mine straight up asked "so what will you be using for birth control after this" like, you won't want another one anytime soon lol
PS normal pregnancy will kick your ass. Just cause I’m having a hell of a time doesn’t mean you don’t get to bitch about it kicking your ass!
MH and I have already been discussing his vasectomy, too. I mentioned there's a small chance I might need to have a hysterectomy (long story short, I had cervical surgery after some abnormal paps in college and at the time, the recommendation was to have a hysterectomy after I'm done having kids to significantly decrease the chance of cervical/uterine cancer) and he said he was going to do it regardless. So, his body, his choice. If that's what he wants to do, I'm not going to stop him. Quick funny story, while at my AS scan yesterday, the US tech asked me something about birth control and I got so confused and I said, "Well not right now, I don't think I need it!" She and MH busted out laughing and MH said, "No, she asked if you were using any when you got pregnant..."
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
DH has offered to have a vasectomy as I've "literally done everything else when it comes to having kids" so I am grateful for that. I am just not ready for that finality.
Another angle we have to look at is we still have 1 frozen embryo. There are several options on what we can do with it, but we've yet to agree on one 100%.
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
I need to lay off the ID channel apparently.
I got the Skyla IUD after DD and I shit you not it fell out of my body like it was a dark cavernous hole. Like I was standing there in a towel and all of a sudden it’s on the ground. That was a fun call to my OB.