THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION!!

cups4 · December 2017

So, I may be a little bored at work but I thought we could have a thread where we share things we wish we would have known or were surprised to learn. It can be general life information, like, I learned this year I shouldn't be putting styrofoam in the microwave, or STMs can divulge things about birth, newborns, toddlers, etc.

cups4 · December 2017

Caring for the belly button and waiting for it to fall off and caring for a penis in general were eye openers for me. I have friends who have had their son's circumcision reattach after not checking the skin and pulling it down regularly. I am super grateful for all the information the NICU nurses gave us. They showed us how to bathe and care for his parts correctly and we really would have had a lot more issues without them.

Also, bleeding just like anyone else would after giving birth even with a csection. I never thought I would have a csection, let alone have the same amount of PP bleeding, but duh, all that stuff still had to come out!

cups4 · December 2017

Also, there is this thing called the witching hour. Basically newborns and babies go psycho around 4-6 pm and it is not cool.

sparklingdiamond · December 2017

@cups4 Hahaha I am going to be laughing at the Friends GIF all day.

Also totally agree about caring for the belly button and circumcision!

I found out something new the other day that won't apply to everyone, but may apply to some people. Apparently, if your baby is in the NICU for a long period of time, they can qualify for Medicaid coverage regardless of your income level because they are considered "homeless".

cups4 · December 2017

@sparklingdiamond that is interesting. I also was super grateful, and I know not everyone's insurance will do this, but because DS was in the NICU, we qualified for a home nurse to visit us every week for the first month and it was amazing.

sparklingdiamond · December 2017

@cups4 That is good to know! I need to look into my insurance and see if they will cover that! Especially if she has to come home with a g-tube or oxygen or anything like that.

bwow615 · December 2017

TMI/Trigger Warning Maybe - be careful with the circumcision care too, not to freak anyone out, but our pediatrician was showing us how to pull back the foreskin and clean it and she pulled too hard and made it bleed. i wanted to kill her. thankfully the bleeding stopped pretty quickly.

suchaglencoco · December 2017

I still love our nighttime nicu nurse! She was so amazing and would get mad if she came in mid shift and someone else had our twins, so she'd do whatever she could to switch with them. We're fb official.
We also learned a lot from the nicu nurses and a silver lining to them being there for so long was we didn't really have to worry about the belly button, they did everything for us with that. Another silver lining is I got to heal a bit from the c section.

The bleeding!!! I also had a c section and did not expect that much. I dropped an enormous clot (I think?) right as a new night nurse came in to introduce herself and she saw it and they had to monitor it for a bit. My first nurse did not mention to watch for softball sized clots. So watch out for those.

Witching hour and colic are awful and super common. They don't mean your baby is broken. And not every baby has them. We were blessed the twins did not, but I'm not counting on that for our 3rd. Our niece had witching hour for weeks and weeks. Everyone felt so terrible because only mom and dad could soothe her and even then it wasn't enough.

Babies can have a form of sleep apnea. It's a little scary, but hopefully it's an easy fix with a couple doses of caffiene. Our son had it and came home on a monitor for 2 months. We would tell people he just needed to be charged up a bit, haha.

They can also be super loud sleepers. To the point of waking you up constantly. We had to move our twins out of our room at 3 months so we could get some sleep.

Breastfeeding isn't for everyone and that's 100% ok!!! It's a lot of work and a lot of stress. I was so miserable our first 6 weeks because I was trying so hard, neither could latch well, I couldn't pump more than one feeding each a day, I was crying non stop about it. When I quit and DH and my mother said "thank God. It's giving you too much anxiety and we were starting to worry", I knew it was the right choice. I thought I'd feel like a failure as a mother, but the next few days I broke out of my funk and really started to enjoy my babies without pressure and without a pump being attached constantly.
That being said, if you going to breastfeed and are having troubles, there are a lot of resources out there. You may be able to set up private appointments with a lactation consultant or there are groups like La Leche League that meet up weekly or monthly that have other bfing moms attend that have fountains of knowledge and tips. So you're definitely not alone.

This may all be really rambly and not make a lot of sense. I'm still trying to shake this stomach bug.

ivyvines6 · December 2017

bwow615 said:

TMI/Trigger Warning Maybe - be careful with the circumcision care too, not to freak anyone out, but our pediatrician was showing us how to pull back the foreskin and clean it and she pulled too hard and made it bleed. i wanted to kill her. thankfully the bleeding stopped pretty quickly.

You’re not supposed to pull it back!!!!! It starts to do that naturally in its own sometime between the ages of four and seven. An uncut penis is supposed to be cleaned just like a “finger” until that happens on its own. Here’s a link to info from New Zealand about it because our medical community made circumcision the standard and lost knowledge about the non circumcised penis in the mean time. https://www.kidshealth.org.nz/foreskin-care

So I guess “Don’t pull back foreskin” is my contribution to this list?

fraufarbissina · December 2017

To add to the PP bleeding, I bled for 9 weeks which scared me because we are always told that we will be back to our old selves at the magical 6 week mark. Not true! It stopped around 4 weeks and came back for weeks 6-9. Not sure if it makes a difference but I delivered vaginally. It sucked but it also gave me a good excuse to not have sex yet which I was no where near ready to do. On that note, the first time was scary and kinda painful for me. I needed lots and lots and lots of lube.

ivyvines6 · December 2017

Yes another note is that you may be emotionally and mentally ready for sex again before the six mark and you can do other intimate things outside of coitus to ease that. TMI probably but mutual masturbation (no penetration) was good for us during that time. Basically saying that no sex does not mean no orgasms for six weeks. (This is not going to apply to women with normal or under active libidos, but it severely stressed me out during that time period, having such a high libido and having access to very little information on the subject. When I asked my Dr at the time he immediately started chastising my partner for putting pressure on me. I was so overly pissed at that point you have no idea...)

cups4 · December 2017

@ivyvines6 we were taught by the NICU and pedi to pull it back so it wouldn't reattach and my friends who have had issues dealt with the same issue of not doing it properly

cups4 · December 2017

@suchaglencoco the grunting!!!! oh my goodness we called the toddler the grumpy grunting garden gnome for his sounds and his looks

ivyvines6 · December 2017

cups4 said:

@ivyvines6 we were taught by the NICU and pedi to pull it back so it wouldn't reattach and my friends who have had issues dealt with the same issue of not doing it properly

Once it’s been done that’s how you are supposed to take care of it, but the forskin shouldn’t be initially retracted at all u less there is a medical reason to was my point. Sorry if we got our wires crossed there?

suchaglencoco · December 2017

cups4 said:9

@suchaglencoco the grunting!!!! oh my goodness we called the toddler the grumpy grunting garden gnome for his sounds and his looks

Haha!!! We called DS Warhog for awhile and I found him a stuffed Pumba!

cups4 · December 2017

@ivyvines6 totally did! Thank you for clarifying!!!!

thunderberry · December 2017

Learning so much about penis maintenance here. I kind of want to just leave that part to my husband to deal with because it's weirds me out a bit, but I guess that's not super realistic since I doubt he remembers what was done with his penis when he was a baby!

@ivyvines6 that is interesting to know! I find it frustrating when you get medical advice saying "no sex" because it's so vague, sex can mean so many different things. Does it mean no penis/objects in vagina, or no orgasms at all on the lady's side, or...? I had always assumed it was the actual penetration that was the issue and was pretty surprised post IVF to find info online suggesting just orgasms were to be initially avoided.

dee_ao · December 2017

Learning so much from you ladies! I'm a first time mom and this is new for me - but my Dr. recommended getting certified in Infant and Child CPR. I was asking her about classes I should take and she basically said all other classes are for piece of mind, but she's actually had patients that have needed to provide their babies CPR. Scary thought and not something I would have thought about on my own.

ivyvines6 · December 2017

@thunderberry there’s a difference in pelvic rest and postpartum recovery, if that makes sense. I was on pelvic rest for like four straight months during J’s pregnancy and I about went out of my damn mind because that’s no stimulation or penetration. The six weeks is more to do with the average time it takes for your cervix to heal, and penetration can lead to infection while it’s still open. (I’m probably not using the proper terminology and might even be wrong, but that’s what I gathered from extensive Dr Google research)

MissusTexas · December 2017

Most of this penis talk is brand new information for this girl mom! I’m dreading baby boy’s circumcision

So my BNI is that hemorrhoids NEVER GO AWAY. They may seem to disappear but can flare up months, even years later. FML.

ivyvines6 · December 2017

MissusTexas said:

Most of this penis talk is brand new information for this girl mom! I’m dreading baby boy’s circumcision

So my BNI is that hemorrhoids NEVER GO AWAY. They may seem to disappear but can flare up months, even years later. FML.

So don’t circumcise?

Im still mad about hemorrhoids... That is NOT part of what you think you’re signing up for when you get KU.

gildah · December 2017

I wish I had known that pelvic organ prolapse is super common and that it won’t ruin your life (or sex life for that matter). A great resource for helping your pelvic floor recover from pregnancy and childbirth is https://www.hab-it.com/
She has really easy excercises that you can do while pregnant and within hours of childbirth. I would imagine it would take longer after a c section.

Ceridwen77 · December 2017

Aww you ladies reminded me of the cute little noises babies make! We called our DD snorty piggy. So adorable.

I recently learned that Antarctica is the largest desert in the world. Apparently deserts are defined by precipitation and not like, sand and stuff.

onesmallcoconut · December 2017

1) you're going to be able to hear baby poop/fart from across the room and behind a closed door. It is SO LOUD! But also hilarious.

2) if you're struggling with breastfeeding and or you happen to get mastitis (I did

) there is this handy thing called a nipple shield that you can use. Nurses seem to be overly cautious in recommending them because they don't want baby to get dependant on it and reject a bare nipple and also overuse may cause mastitis too (I think?? I didn't get it from mine btw) but omg did it ever help me.

charlestonchew · December 2017

@Ceridwen77 doesn't it snow there? That's precipitation. Is a giant block of ice not considered precipitation? I guess I never considered it.

Ceridwen77 · December 2017

@onesmallcoconut pretty sure mastitis is caused by not emptying the breast all the way. There’s also a genetic component as Caucasian women are much more likely to get mastitis.

@charlestonchew apparently it doesn’t snow much there at all!! Like less than 2” a year in some areas and at most I think 12” a year. We get 12” where I live in hours where I live. It’s so mind boggling.

suchaglencoco · December 2017

@onesmallcoconut, nipple shields are amazing, especially if you have flat or inverted nipples.
A tip I've read about for getting ride of a clogged duct is an electric toothbrush right on the spot. It helps break it up pretty easy from what I've been told.

lincbeesmom · December 2017

@MissusTexas my sons circumcision wasn’t too bad. His came with a little plastic cap that fell off once it was healed. They usually give you care instructions too.

onesmallcoconut · December 2017

Ceridwen77 said:

@onesmallcoconut pretty sure mastitis is caused by not emptying the breast all the way. There’s also a genetic component as Caucasian women are much more likely to get mastitis.

@charlestonchew apparently it doesn’t snow much there at all!! Like less than 2” a year in some areas and at most I think 12” a year. We get 12” where I live in hours where I live. It’s so mind boggling.

Yep it most definitely is. However the nipple shield can make it so you might not fully empty - so you could clog a duct/cause an infection leading to mastitis. That's all I was getting at for the caution around use.

Edit/update: I used mine sparingly through my mastitis as it alleviated some of the pain while nursing

roomsu · December 2017

The bleeding was shocking to me. I expected it for a short time but the weeks of bleeding were totally bizarre. The net underwear were also suprising. I felt like I had more diapers to go home with than baby. Another shock to me was recovery time. I didn’t expect to feel less than normal for so long. It took a few months for me to be 100%.

Ceridwen77 · December 2017

@suchaglencoco the toothbrush or hairbrush trick is for clogged ducts. You don’t want to mess with mastitis. It needs antibiotic treatment.

suchaglencoco · December 2017

Ceridwen77 said:

@suchaglencoco the toothbrush or hairbrush trick is for clogged ducts. You don’t want to mess with mastitis. It needs antibiotic treatment.

Oh you're totally right! Sorry! Brain misfire.

arteduc8 · December 2017

I didn't know about hemorroids from labor! I didn't get any during my first pregnancy but they popped up from pushing during labor. And now they have come back during this pregnancy. I didn't know about the postpartum care- tucks, Peri bottles, dermoplast, and homemade padsicles. All that on top of bleeding, ugh.

I didn't know I wouldn't recognize labor starting. My back hurt but I just assumed it was normal. My water broke (just a trickle) and turned out my back pain was back labor. Oops!

I didn't know breastfeeding would be so hard at first. I took the class, read the books and felt prepared. Then baby didn't latch well and many tears were shed in the hospital in the middle of the night. I didn't know they need to nurse every 2 hours from the start of one feed to the start of the next. And sessions can take 40 minutes at first. Sleep deprivation is real. But do know it gets easier as baby gets older and you find a routine. DD just turned 18 months and I'm working on weaning her from her last session and never thought that I'd enjoy breastfeeding and that we'd make it this far.

I also didn't know how backwards a newborn's sleep cycle can be. They have days and nights mixed up at first which takes some time to transition them.

RachelT1234 · December 2017

For almost 6 months I exclusively pumped due to a consistent bad latch, a tongue tie, and a lip tie. I likely wont be doing that again, but some things that helped me during this process:

-https://www.target.com/p/lansinoh-therapearl-3-in-1-breast-therapy/-/A-14386190?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&CPNG=PLA_Baby+Shopping&adgroup=SC_Baby&LID=700000001170770pgs&network=g&device=m&location=9015412&gclid=CjwKCAiAsejRBRB3EiwAZft7sBzB1d5x1_mUlBijHFVxBBsQk7Uu_fdHDm-I24XJkosXqpnLpintQhoCuyUQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

^this was great when I had a clogged duct, but also helped me pump more when I wrapped it around the pump

-although a hands free pumping bra was very convenient, I found that there was a trade off. It just didn't secure or have a tight enough fit and I wouldn't pump as much while using it. Not sure if this was just my experience

-since it was hard to pump during the designated pump breaks when i went back to work, I found the pump sanitary wipes to be a lifesaver. I'd wipe the parts down, throw the parts in a bag and refrigerate until I was able to properly wash it all at home

-im not going to use a stupid app this time to track how much I pumped, and how much the baby is eating. Whenever I pumped less, I'd majorly stress about it. Likely, resulting in pumping less.

...I'm sure there's more but that's all I can think of at the moment!

Poppy0419 · December 2017

@RachelT1234 I second the Lansinoh therapy things. Life saver for real.

Also these bad boys: Medela Tender Care Hydrogel Pads https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0011ECPA2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_qsXoAbGRESCB2

stock up. Put them in the fridge.

Also, if breastfeeding doesn’t work ITS OKAY AND YOURE AN AMAZING MOM STILL. If you don’t WANT to breastfeed, ITS OKAY AND YOURE AN AMAZING MOM STILL. Your worth as a Mom DOES NOT DEPEND ON YOUR ABILITY TO BREASTFEED.

I gave up too fast with my first. I gave up on a bad day. It was a REALLY bad day. It was a no wet diapers in 12 hours day. I called myself a failure. I’ve laid myself with a LOT of guilt.

I’m still a good mom. I still love my child. She’s thriving and happy and even advanced in some areas.

The witching hour is no joke and no matter when it is, somehow your SO will mysteriously be 15 minutes late coming home from work or have to poop during this time. Strange phenomenon.

You may have a toddler and still not have a sex drive. Hormones are cray. Somehow you end up pregnant again.

You may not love being a mom. You may think crazy thoughts. TELL SOMEONE. Reach out and get help. It’s okay and normal. There’s medicine. There’s therapy.

It’s truly amazing that you can not sleep and still manage to adult. You’ll sleep again one day.

Thats my short list of things I didn’t know. There’s a lot i still don’t know.

cups4 · December 2017

@onesmallcoconut I am not going to feel guilt about using the nipple shield this next time!!! It helped my sanity in the beginning and then he grew big enough to latch better and all was great!

@Ceridwen21 @charlestonchew. I teach geography and government and one of my favorite things is teaching about the Sahara and Antarctica. Just like @Ceridwen21 said they get very little precipitation. The ice there are glaciers and ice shelves that never melted. The little snow/precipitation they do get never freezes, so it makes it easier to study the ozone conditions from thousands of years ago and study effects of carbon dioxide and global warming. #nerd

onesmallcoconut · December 2017

@cups4 me either!!!!

mileswithmyles · December 2017

Another vote for the nipple shield. I didn’t know that flat or inverted nipples were a thing until I tried to nurse DS when the nurse was there. It saved me and made breastfeeding so much easier for me.

Also, hemorrhoids can suck it. I still deal with them. Boooooo.

Peeing after baby is a production. Lots of using the spray bottle and patting dry.

I am also not a crier, but found myself sobbing for no reason after DS was born. I remember looking at DH and saying “I have no idea why I am crying.” He thought I had lost my mind.

ivyvines6 · December 2017

I guess I’m the only person who hates the nipple shield... I felt like it created a whole host of unnecessary issues for us, and I had to wean him off of it later on. The hospital I delivered in hands them out like free candy though, and they’re currently in the local paper for getting sued as nipple shields can undermine an entire breastfeeding relationship. (That hospital has a whole host of issues going on anyway, and people in deliver there if it’s an actual emergency apparently. They’d rather deliver in the county above us, which is a research hospital, or the county below us, which has much lower rates of c sections... I’m doing a birthing center after all the combined trauma I went through there...)

mileswithmyles · December 2017

@ivyvines6 I wouldn’t have been able to BF without it. I used it the whole time I BF’d so weaning was never an issue for us. DS also was a combo of pumped milk/BF once I went back to work.

bwow615 · December 2017

@arteduc8 how you outlined the feeding routine made me remember those cluster feeding phases. I wanted to die when DS would cluster feed. But I made it through and I really only remember this being a phase when he was still only a few weeks old.

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