Maybe I'm in the minority but I don't plan on circumcising my baby boy... we're not Jewish and although my husband is cut, he's on board with that decision.
My TTC journey:
Me and DH: 30-35 Unexplained infertility TTC #1 since 2015 11/2015 - BFP! 12/2015 - MC IVF #1 July 2017 freeze all (20 eggs, 15 mature, 10 fert, 6 blasts, 4 PGS normal) FET #1 TBD Surprise BFP 9/2017 while waiting for FET... hoping for the best!
@helloworld9 I let my husband make the choice in regards to circumcision but if this babe is another boy he has to go to the appointment cause I AM NOT experiencing that again..
the fact that that my emotions never came back into check was a surprise to me. I cry far easier now, after DS, than I ever did before.
@mileswithmyles it’s a great tool for a lot of women, and it’s helped alleviate a lot of issues. I guess I came across as fear mongering in a way about it because locally it’s become a problem. I definitely don’t have flat or inverted nipples and was given one because that’s just what they do for any breastfeeding issue at that hospital.
La Leche League meetings were and still are a lifesaver though. They showed me how to properly latch, and keep J awake, and gave me advice on how to wean from it when he became addicted to it, and refused to latch without it. I wholeheartedly recommend any ftm that plans to breastfeed to go to a couple meetings before you give birth to establish a support network. Even when everything is going perfectly right with breastfeeding it can still feel isolating the first couple of months.
I also didn't know that DMER was a thing. https://d-mer.org/ I'd get this overwhelming anxious feeling during letdown like I wanted to scream or run. Sometimes I felt like I just wanted to put my baby down in the crib when it happened and walk away. It made me feel guilty and shameful. And as quickly as that emotion would rise up it would subside. I thought I was crazy until I read another mom talk about it on a Facebook group and realized it's a real thing! It's not PPD, but it's own very real thing. Fortunately for me I had a mild case that faded after a couple months and didn't hit me every time. Then it came back only while pumping. At that point I realized what it was and could get through those fleeting moments with deep breaths.
@arteduc8 how you outlined the feeding routine made me remember those cluster feeding phases. I wanted to die when DS would cluster feed. But I made it through and I really only remember this being a phase when he was still only a few weeks old.
Ugh, how could I forget cluster feeding! My DD but a growth spurt around 2-3 weeks old right after my husband went back to work. She needed to nurse every hour on the hour for 24 hours. That day was brutal! Thank goodness it was only one day. She had a few other cluster feeding episodes, but nothing like that marathon day.
Someone earlier mentioned refrigerating pump parts. This was a lifesaver. I didn’t even wipe them down, just kept them cold and washed them when I got home. Breast milk is pretty magical stuff.
@helloworld9 if we had a boy with either pregnancy, we would have been in the same situation and made the same decision as you about circumcision.
@arteduc8 I think that might happen sometimes to people when they're not breast feeding too. For years I've had this feeling every now and then that's like the feeling of homesick or a pit in my stomach and it lasts like 2 seconds. I've googled like crazy and the only thing that can come close is what you posted. I think the theory is that it has to do with serotonin levels so I wonder if people not breast feeding can have random drops as well.
Nursing a tired/cranky baby to sleep is amazing. With my first, it worked like a charm every time. I know they say that you shouldn’t nurse them to sleep so that they learn how to fall asleep, but I did it for at least the first 6 months (we would do nighttime bottle of pumped milk so my husband could feed him), then I would top him off right before putting him in the crib. When he was extra fussy or over tired during the day, he would fall asleep in an instant on my boob. Now he is almost 2 and sleeps 12 hours at night and takes a 3 hour nap. So there was no negative residual impact at all and he learned how to fall asleep on his own just fine.
Also, don’t stress about what “they say” (books, the internet, other people). Do what works for you and your baby (as long as you are not doing blantently unsafe things).
@dem068a I also nursed to sleep, that was our routine. He would have motn wakeups that killed me though, I did the modified CIO method at about 13 months finally, and he has been a great sleeper since.
I never knew the magical healing powers of breast milk. I've used it on baby acne, cracked nipples, cuts, and even hemorrhoids. My SIL used it to clear up pink eye once too.
I think it’s been mentioned, but even if you don’t plan to breastfeed you’ll still make colostrum/milk for a couple days, and it can potentially be painful from what I’ve heard.
@arteduc8 not everyone responds to the oxytocin flood the same way, and I’m glad you brought that up! Sometimes your body produces a little too much of something and it wreaks havoc on your mental stability at times. This conversation made me realize that part of why I’ve been so depressed the past few weeks could have to do with J weaning and not having that boost everyday. It’ll level out soon though, which is good, if that is the case. Or maybe I’m just sad that this is over?
For some, your milk will never come in. No matter what you try: supplements, teas, massage, power pumping, etc. I nearly sent myself to the hospital from exhaustion trying desperately to get milk to show up. 6 weeks of my child's life I won't ever get back because I was constantly busy trying to make milk.
I'm not killing myself this time. If it isn't there in a week, I'm moving on. Formula is not the devil.
This is a bit TMI. There is nothing magical about the 6-week recovery mark. I got pretty pissed when my OB checked my cervix at 6-weeks and retore where I was stitched up. I had only a 2nd degree tear but I think the stitching was bad and resulted in a blood filled “hematoma” the size of a large grape. That went down after a week or two but I now have a permanent little skin flap down there.
Soemtime around the 3-month mark I started have extreme spasms of my perineal muscles. I died trying to have sex, poop, and sometimes even pass gas. I finally went to the doctor around 8-months and she said I was fine. I think just a few weeks before that doctors visit my daughter stopped waking as much for night feedings and my body finally was able to relax. If I have problems like that again. I will definitely get checked sooner and see if I need some sort of physical therapy.
@thedawkterswife, yup. I told DH that unless this baby latches immediately and magically bfs with no issue those first couple of days, we're going straight to formula. He told me "if you don't even want to try, don't try and I'll bring formula home before you 2 get home". I'm so glad he's very supportive of me not even trying as we had such a rough time last go.
I was always under the impression that babies will cry when they are hungry, until I had DD3. She slept through feeding after feeding and would not eat! Poor little mite didn’t get back to her birth weight till 5 or 6 weeks. We had to take her to the doctor for weight checks every 3 days. She started off high on the percentile chart at 8.5 lbs and then plummeted to 30% where she remains today. Anyway, if she had been my first, I would have lost my mind with anxiety!
@suchaglencoco DH has been the same way. He basically leaves it up to me with what I want to do because he said it affects me the most. I’m going to try to do the same plan with DS, which is BF and pump through winter break, supplement with formula during the day after winter break, and stop by 12 months at the latest. DS stopped latching at 10 months and I didn’t want to EP, so he had formula until we started cow’s milk. But I’m also giving myself permission to not put so much stress and pressure on myself this time about it and if I want to supplement earlier, I will.
So I won't rub it in too much, but I loved breastfeeding. I never really had issues with it. Every now and then while pumping at the beginning I would try and get a slightly clogged duct unblocked but just a small amount of rubbing did the trick. I do understand those who really struggle and think its best to keep baby and mama happy and if that means some or all formula then do it!
Mine about babies would be the period of purple crying. I think the worst day I had DS cried literally for like 9 hours. He would sometimes sleep for like twenty minutes while I did squats with him in the baby carrier. But there was only so long I was able to keep doing squats. And then he would just scream. And scream. And scream.
And, a female spotted hyena has the largest clitoris of all mammals
@theletlers I've been debating sharing my BF experience too because I don't want to sound dismissive of anyone who struggled with it, but I had a really easy time and I actually really enjoyed it from the beginning. I think it's good to share all perspectives, though. The moral of the story is that everyone's experience is different and there is no right or wrong way to feed your baby.
I think it's definitely good to share the positive bf stories as well!!! I had friends who had no issues, friends that were in the middle, and friends that struggled and pushed through eping for almost a year. It's different for everyone and with every baby. I just didn't realize how common struggling was until I was panicking with how awful it was going and others piped up about it. For me, I figured "it's the natural thing, this is what my bod is supposed to do so I am failing" and that's never the case.
I think it’s been mentioned, but even if you don’t plan to breastfeed you’ll still make colostrum/milk for a couple days, and it can potentially be painful from what I’ve heard.
@arteduc8 not everyone responds to the oxytocin flood the same way, and I’m glad you brought that up! Sometimes your body produces a little too much of something and it wreaks havoc on your mental stability at times. This conversation made me realize that part of why I’ve been so depressed the past few weeks could have to do with J weaning and not having that boost everyday. It’ll level out soon though, which is good, if that is the case. Or maybe I’m just sad that this is over?
Yes, weaning can cause your hormones to go whacky and the blues. I haven't experienced it yet but was warned by my chiropractor to watch out for it and to clue my husband in about the potential of it before we started weaning. Definitely keep an eye on it if it gets severe or doesn't pass. https://kellymom.com/ages/weaning/wean-how/depression-and-weaning/
I'm keeping an eye on it as I will be fully weaning my DD in the next few weeks. We're down to one last session at bed time. It's bittersweet to be ending our breastfeeding journey. I never anticipated enjoying it or making it this long (18 months). If I wasn't pregnant I'd probably keep going to the 24 month mark as recommended by WHO. But I need a break before the new baby and want my DD to be done long enough before baby to help avoid jealousy.
Every time I see this thread I can't help reading the title in Phoebe's voice.
I want to EBF so so bad and it scares me a bit knowing how little control I'll have over whether it will work or not. Even though I am trying to mentally prepare for the fact that sometimes it just doesn't work out, I know it'll be super upsetting if that's me. My mom said it was really easy for her so I hope that's genetic.
@helloworld9 I am definitely not circumcising either. I don't understand the point of it. But I think it's overall less common in Canada.
@thunderberry, my sil was 100% about ebf. It was not easy at all and at like 2 weeks, she locked herself in her house. People could only visit during certain hours and she basically still nixed requests. She did it for I think 4 weeks until her and baby got the hang of things. It was really tough on her, but she was very happy she did it. She walked me through everything she did and said she'd help me if I wanted to do the same, but I didn't have that drive. So there are definitely hardcore ways to do it, but hopefully you'll be one of the lucky ones who has zero issues!
Can someone please explain to me why circumcision would take place in cases other than medical or religious? Here where I am it’s not really the norm and a baby boy would only be circumcised for medical or religious reasons. I’m very curious!
@motherof2monkeys I think it became popular in the US after WW2. I’m first generation American and we didn’t circumcise our son and we won’t circumcise this baby either. I live northwest of chicago and there are a lot of Eastern European immigrants here, so very few babies are circumcised. In fact I don’t know anyone who circumcised, but I run with a pretty crunchy crowd.
@motherof2monkeys the common misconception in the US is that an uncircumcised penis is unsanitary. That's what I always thought anyway, until I did some research and found out how wrong that is.
I recommended this the the last time we talked about circumcision by everyone should watch the Adam Ruins Everything episode about pregnancy and babies. He goes into a lot of good stuff like the fact that circumcision isn't necessary, formula is a literal life saver, and it's BS that we'll have a hard time having kids after the age of 35.
I didn't really want to circumcise DS but DH was really for it. I sort of wish we hadn't but can't undo that one. "It's like trying to grow a turtleneck!!"
@gildah Nope! Their bodies turn it into uric acid because it doesn't need as much water for their bodies to process it. It's due to the weight of the water and keeping their bodies lighter for flight. Science lesson over!
I struggled with BF for the first six weeks... a lot. But went on to have a super easy and awesome extended BF relationship with both of my kids,and the second time around was so easy from day one.
@abbykm7 omg yes lol or when you get baby latched onto one just in time and then either you shoot out the other one across the room or your bra gets wet on the other side. So thankful for the nursing pads! Just a real glamorous time, you know?
Speaking of squirting - BF baby poop shoots out like a super soaker. Could not believe the force or distance that a newborn is able to achieve with their shit.
Related to distance/force of poop, if you put the diaper on too tight around the bum, it will go straight up their back. Sometimes it will anyway, but if you leave a little “pocket” of room in the butt area, it’s slightly less likely to happen.
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
Re: THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION!!
Unexplained infertility
TTC #1 since 2015
11/2015 - BFP! 12/2015 - MC
IVF #1 July 2017 freeze all (20 eggs, 15 mature, 10 fert, 6 blasts, 4 PGS normal)
FET #1 TBD Surprise BFP 9/2017 while waiting for FET... hoping for the best!
the fact that that my emotions never came back into check was a surprise to me. I cry far easier now, after DS, than I ever did before.
La Leche League meetings were and still are a lifesaver though. They showed me how to properly latch, and keep J awake, and gave me advice on how to wean from it when he became addicted to it, and refused to latch without it. I wholeheartedly recommend any ftm that plans to breastfeed to go to a couple meetings before you give birth to establish a support network. Even when everything is going perfectly right with breastfeeding it can still feel isolating the first couple of months.
I'd get this overwhelming anxious feeling during letdown like I wanted to scream or run. Sometimes I felt like I just wanted to put my baby down in the crib when it happened and walk away. It made me feel guilty and shameful. And as quickly as that emotion would rise up it would subside. I thought I was crazy until I read another mom talk about it on a Facebook group and realized it's a real thing! It's not PPD, but it's own very real thing. Fortunately for me I had a mild case that faded after a couple months and didn't hit me every time. Then it came back only while pumping. At that point I realized what it was and could get through those fleeting moments with deep breaths.
@helloworld9 if we had a boy with either pregnancy, we would have been in the same situation and made the same decision as you about circumcision.
I know they say that you shouldn’t nurse them to sleep so that they learn how to fall asleep, but I did it for at least the first 6 months (we would do nighttime bottle of pumped milk so my husband could feed him), then I would top him off right before putting him in the crib.
When he was extra fussy or over tired during the day, he would fall asleep in an instant on my boob. Now he is almost 2 and sleeps 12 hours at night and takes a 3 hour nap. So there was no negative residual impact at all and he learned how to fall asleep on his own just fine.
Also, don’t stress about what “they say” (books, the internet, other people). Do what works for you and your baby (as long as you are not doing blantently unsafe things).
@arteduc8 not everyone responds to the oxytocin flood the same way, and I’m glad you brought that up! Sometimes your body produces a little too much of something and it wreaks havoc on your mental stability at times. This conversation made me realize that part of why I’ve been so depressed the past few weeks could have to do with J weaning and not having that boost everyday. It’ll level out soon though, which is good, if that is the case. Or maybe I’m just sad that this is over?
I'm not killing myself this time. If it isn't there in a week, I'm moving on. Formula is not the devil.
Soemtime around the 3-month mark I started have extreme spasms of my perineal
muscles. I died trying to have sex, poop, and sometimes even pass gas. I finally went to the doctor around 8-months and she said I was fine. I think just a few weeks before that doctors visit my daughter stopped waking as much for night feedings and my body finally was able to relax. If I have problems like that again. I will definitely get checked sooner and see if I need some sort of physical therapy.
I told DH that unless this baby latches immediately and magically bfs with no issue those first couple of days, we're going straight to formula.
He told me "if you don't even want to try, don't try and I'll bring formula home before you 2 get home".
I'm so glad he's very supportive of me not even trying as we had such a rough time last go.
Poor little mite didn’t get back to her birth weight till 5 or 6 weeks. We had to take her to the doctor for weight checks
every 3 days. She started off high on the percentile chart at 8.5 lbs and then plummeted to 30% where she remains today. Anyway, if she had been my first, I would have lost my mind with anxiety!
Mine about babies would be the period of purple crying. I think the worst day I had DS cried literally for like 9 hours. He would sometimes sleep for like twenty minutes while I did squats with him in the baby carrier. But there was only so long I was able to keep doing squats. And then he would just scream. And scream. And scream.
And, a female spotted hyena has the largest clitoris of all mammals
Also birds don't urinate.
I had friends who had no issues, friends that were in the middle, and friends that struggled and pushed through eping for almost a year.
It's different for everyone and with every baby. I just didn't realize how common struggling was until I was panicking with how awful it was going and others piped up about it. For me, I figured "it's the natural thing, this is what my bod is supposed to do so I am failing" and that's never the case.
https://kellymom.com/ages/weaning/wean-how/depression-and-weaning/
I'm keeping an eye on it as I will be fully weaning my DD in the next few weeks. We're down to one last session at bed time. It's bittersweet to be ending our breastfeeding journey. I never anticipated enjoying it or making it this long (18 months). If I wasn't pregnant I'd probably keep going to the 24 month mark as recommended by WHO. But I need a break before the new baby and want my DD to be done long enough before baby to help avoid jealousy.
I want to EBF so so bad and it scares me a bit knowing how little control I'll have over whether it will work or not. Even though I am trying to mentally prepare for the fact that sometimes it just doesn't work out, I know it'll be super upsetting if that's me. My mom said it was really easy for her so I hope that's genetic.
@helloworld9 I am definitely not circumcising either. I don't understand the point of it. But I think it's overall less common in Canada.
So there are definitely hardcore ways to do it, but hopefully you'll be one of the lucky ones who has zero issues!
I recommended this the the last time we talked about circumcision by everyone should watch the Adam Ruins Everything episode about pregnancy and babies. He goes into a lot of good stuff like the fact that circumcision isn't necessary, formula is a literal life saver, and it's BS that we'll have a hard time having kids after the age of 35.
"It's like trying to grow a turtleneck!!"
@gildah Nope! Their bodies turn it into uric acid because it doesn't need as much water for their bodies to process it. It's due to the weight of the water and keeping their bodies lighter for flight. Science lesson over!
I struggled with BF for the first six weeks... a lot. But went on to have a super easy and awesome extended BF relationship with both of my kids,and the second time around was so easy from day one.
PP hormones are no joke.
Just a real glamorous time, you know?
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17