Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: TTCA35 Weekly Check In: 12/4/17
I go in this morning to go over the result of my b/w from monday
@Labluver2 Adoption is awesome!! If this all doesn’t work we will consider as well.. We’ve literally only been trying for like 5 months before we went to the RE, so I am too am going to give it my all before I throw In the towel. I have 4 rounds of IVF completely covered and if that doesn’t work we will for sure be heartbroken but I am a firm believer in what is meant to be will be, and if this road leads up to adoption it was meant to be. That being said I am truly hoping all my hope that you and your H will conceive!
@kristimh80 I literally just off the phone with HR, she and I are close and she’s a family friend, so I told her the situation and she is calling the insurance company herself to see if she can’t get things moving faster!! UGH I didnt even sleep last night, idk if I’m stressed over this or what but maybe got like 2-3 hours which I also think maybe the reason for no AF.
@Labluver2 - whew 4 years! You are patient. I thought you were 37 too. I would totally consider adoption if we didn't have a DD.
I started streaming yoga yesterday so I'm adding 2 more days a week to my yoga practice. Gotta keep the mind healthy.
See this is probably why I couldnt sleep last night.. not that either of those things crossed my mind while I trying to sleep. Lol
So my SIL n bro have their transfer date at the end of this month. I am so happy for them Bc they have literally been through the ringer with MCs but I cant help but be a tad jealous, idk why!! Am I an Awful human being? Im blaming it on PMS.. speaking of which my nipples have NEVER killed me more than they do right now! Im def not KUd and I’m not on any hormone but DAYUM is this painful!!
What's OHSS? Over hyperstimulation of the ovaries? Honestly that kinda scares me too if we did just femara since everything is so great in working condition with my body. geez. It's like do I really want to mess up what is already in normal range or do I want to say I've tried it all and be at peace? Been praying a lot for some major sign to open up and answer this question.
@ndz2018 I get it! We did med teach at the RE's office today and they brought up OHSS. Since they are tripling my follistim than with IUI and adding menopur, it made me a little nervous too! Your AMH is high like mine...I tell my husband I was just hoarding eggs for him lol I always wondered about PCOS too because I have no signs of it, usually everything is normal. Have a lot of follicles, but about it that may kind of look like it.
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
@ndz2018 that's how I felt when my friend told me she was pregnant on her 3rd iui she stared why later than me. Even tho I know how hard it was for her I feel that jealously like why not me.
I feel like I should Be super happy for my bro and SIL( I mean it’s my Brother! I don’t want to feel this way about them but a piece of me is a little jealous). Then a part of me is SOOOO happy for them Bc no one deserve a take home baby more than them after struggling like that but I guess I just wish it was our turn.. I am REALLY REALLY hoping for a Feb FET. I’ve heard from people they’ve sat out one cycle after their surgery and others 2 cycles. So it’ll be Feb or March. FX I’m a fast healer and we can do Feb. We’ll only be a month or 2 behind them. Pending we get good quality eggs this ER which also makes me a little nervous. Let me tell you the wheels of IVF are slow my friends.
@labluver2 - glad your H is so supportive. Mine is too. He doesn't care if we go to an RE, continue naturally, or stop all together. I'm almost at that stopping point - maybe another 6 months. I understand you and not wanting to give up. For me it would be about just keeping my sanity and enjoying life as it it. For you it could be going to persue adoption. Either way I believe god has plans for all of us.
So this time TTC for baby #2, I'm 40 and thought I may have been pregnant this summer, but was a super long cycle, then we were concerned about not ovulating, etc., my OB tested my progesterone and it was quite low, so she was concerned and filled a Rx for progesterone but told me not to take it yet. But then we were ready to start TTC this past cycle, so she said she wanted me to do the Femara again, so I did. I didn't have any noticable side effects while taking them (only for 4 days), but during my FW I had really strong cramps. I've been tracking BBT temps and I'm on CD 21 today and got a spike, so we'll see if it worked out!
I think with our insurance (which is huge deductible up front), it was only $16 or so for the 4 pills.
ME: 40, DH: 44, stopped BCPS 1/2013, TTC #1 2/2013, AMH 0.4, started acupuncture: 7/2013,
BFP: 10/07/2013; MC 10/15/2013 @ 7 wks (natural), focused on health issues for 7 months.
TTC again: 6/2014, 2nd round Letrozole, BFP 7/7/2014!!! --- EDD 3/18/2015!!! DS born 3/13/2015
@Ndz2018 - nice view! I'm so looking forward to snow whenever we git it.