Questions for STM+ 12/6

missblaze · December 2017

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supercoolstephy · December 2017

I know we have a postpartum thread but I was wondering what your must have postpartum supplies for a csection?

My list so far includes:

Blue Dermoplast
Maxi Pads
Mesh Panties
PP C-Section girdle
Stool Softener (which my ob gave me a prescription for last time, weird right?)

edit to add: I'm planning to steal the peri bottles from the hospital and whatever mesh panties and pads that I can get my hands on. haha

cyanope · December 2017

Not a C-section mama, but YES to the mesh panties. My saint of a nurse gave me an entire package of them when I had DD. I actually still have some that I never used, so they're in my "postpartum supplies" container. Those things are the best!

EmilyLove25 · December 2017

@cyanope Those were a MUST for me too but I don't have any extra and want to have some on hand. Do you have any suggestions of which ones to buy that are like the ones you have? It's a distant memory for me, but I want to order some ASAP. Any mesh ones good, you think?

egirl1025 · December 2017

@supercoolstephy I applaud you for coming right out and saying you will take as much as you possibly can from the hospital, but once it is in your room, you have paid for it!! So take the lot!! The only thing I couldn't take with me was the baby linens. I still have a pair of mesh panties let from last time and a couple of pads that are large enough to wrap around my head! Feeling pretty good!!

conineml · December 2017

Going on our first daycare tour tomorrow (yes, this late...and still no plans for where this LO will be while working...) Any pointers on what to ask, look for, what made you switch daycares, red flags, etc?

gilsam1 · December 2017

@supercoolstephy @cyanope @EmilyLove25 @egirl1025
Okay, so I'm curious about the mesh underwear. At my childbirth class, the instructor showed us a pair of the mesh underwear, and they look like boy shorts, and they were super small. Like, there's no way I'm going to fit into those, and i wanted to ask if they came in bigger sizes, but my social anxiety got the best of me. Do they come in multiple sizes, like to fit plus size women, or should i buy and bring my own? Also, if i do bring my own, is there a brand or type you recommend?

egirl1025 · December 2017

@gilsam1 I was always under the impression that they were one size fits all. They are super duper stretchy.

mauera07 · December 2017

@gilsam1 the ones my hospital had were sooo stretchy, like easily fit over the barely deflated bump no problem. I would imagine if they're not one size fits all they will have larger sizes, because women who have just given birth aren't particularly known for being small haha

supercoolstephy · December 2017

I have a big ass. And they fit me. Haha.

jakobaby · December 2017

They are super super stretchy. So glad I still have some left too!

lmmjd · December 2017

UO: @gilsam1 I don’t know if they come in bigger sizes or not, but the ones I had rolled and weren’t even remotely comfortable. I thought they were rolling because they were small on my hips or butt. I hated them.

supercoolstephy · December 2017

I’m ordering these mesh panties and they come in all the sizes.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00URJRE8U/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fjkkAb255FA98

kelk5 · December 2017

Anyone wash the mesh panties before? Did it turn out okay? The nurse at our prepared childbirth class said you could wash them 1-3 times.

kathrinp · December 2017

Ok, as we are talking mesh panties already... Can we add what pads you would recommend? I'm a STM myself, but other country, other options and all that, so I have no clue what to get.

lmmjd · December 2017

@kathrinp I'd recommend taking all of the ones they give you in the hospital and stashing them. Then, I used the always overnight foam ones. Don't get the ones with the mesh overlay in case you end up with stiches. Not a good combo.

KatieEl · December 2017

UO but I'm meh on the mesh panties. A pad inside a Depends though??? That is my postpartum jam

mauera07 · December 2017

@KatieEl I was all about the depends in the beginning, especially for sleeping/laying down. I bought some before I had the baby and was soooo glad to have them on hand since my water broke at home. I didn't need to sit on a towel on the way to the hospital or walk in with a wet butt!

KatieEl · December 2017

@maueraa07 me too! and I just like the extra layer of protection since I'm always paranoid the undies/pad would shift and leave a murder scene in my bed.

supercoolstephy · December 2017

I wish I had mesh panties to wear everyday. They are so comfy. haha.

libbberty · December 2017

Just realized I have one of the dumbest potential questions. What do you do for baby oral care before teeth come in? Anything?

bainidhedub · December 2017

@libbberty I think you can like clean their gums with a damp wash cloth but I don't remember doing anything for DS.

[Deleted User] · December 2017

@libbberty we were told if we wanted to we could just wipe her gums down with a wet washcloth. We didn't need to start consistently brushing until her first tooth was poked all the way through.

ETA we never actually did anything though until she got her first tooth.

cyanope · December 2017

@EmilyLove25 and @gilsam1, I'll look at the ones I have when I get home. I remember the package was white and green. Not that that is helpful, haha.

kelk5 · December 2017

@KatieEl and @maueraa07 I bought some depends too. FTM so I don't know what I'll like. I bought an assortment based on everyone's recommendations for postpartum supplies

crizz13 · December 2017

@libbberty NADA!

darkrose88 · December 2017

My feet is so over uncomfortable shoes! Any recommendations on a relatively cheap pair I can buy that is comfortable and work office appropriate?

conineml · December 2017

@darkrose88 so my coworker (male..of course) commented that I haven't been wearing shoes you have to tie lately. I find it entertaining that he hasn't realized that: 1. I barely own shoes that tie...maybe a couple sneakers but they are converses not real sneakers and I don't tie them. They are ladder laced and knotted so that you still can just slip them on. 2. I always live in ballet flats, boots, and sandals. Rarely will you see a heel or anything else!

I guess a lot of people have problems and switch to shoes you don't have to tie but not this girl! So...all that to say, depending on your style...I would pick up boots personally. Not structured, cowgirl style but ugglike ones or slouchy boots that slip on. Anything that is less structured I bet would work best. I tend to find good deals on boots at Belk.

KLake42 · December 2017

I need some help.

My doctor tried to check my cervix last week, and she couldn't. Because it hurt, and I involuntarily clenched my muscles. It felt like she had talons on the ends of her fingers, and I just could not relax (even though she was barking at me "relax your bottom!"). She gave up.

I have an induction on Monday, so I don't have long to figure out how to relax those muscles and let it happen, because I know my cervix will be checked a lot.

And the thing is, I'm gay and I don't really do penetrative sex. The experience last week was really upsetting, because I have experienced nonconsensual penetration in my life (#metoo), and it triggered a certain kind of panic. And now I'm terrified that I won't be able to handle childbirth, if I can't take fingers prodding my cervix. (Though, somehow, the idea of pushing a baby out seems like a different experience than being penetrated by a doctor who I honestly just don't like, but I'm stuck with.)

Any ideas? I've been working on breathing techniques and visualization, trying to control my mind so I don't panic, but is there anything I can *do* with my body that will help me relax those muscles and not push her hand out? Is it normal for it to hurt?

kelk5 · December 2017

@KLake42, FTM here but I've had cervical checks my last two visits and while they were uncomfortable they did not hurt. Maybe she didn't use enough lube. I had some issues with pelvic floor spasms previously and actually went to physical therapy. They told me that my muscles were too tight and not relaxing thus leading to spasms. They had me do kegels where I would tense the muscles then release to help relax them. They also did some massage that helped relax the muscles, maybe something you or if you have a partner could do gently. I also did a pelvic tilt and release. Try googling some of those to see the exercises.

Also, of you can switch to an OB you are more comfortable with that might help. I think in the hospital that it may be different nurses checking you while in labor. So maybe as many relaxation techniques as you can practice ahead of time. If a nurse doesn't make you comfortable then remember that you can request someone else. If there is a really nice nurse you click with then maybe confide in her and she can help you or instruct others to be more gentle and go slow. They are so use to doing the checks that they may forget how invasive it feels.

deleted22152218 · December 2017

I’m totally lurking (due in March18 but haven’t participated in forever, I just keep lurking random months while putting my toddler to her nap. Yeah Im creepy.)
but I wanted to reach out and say, @KLake42
You should do a Google search for Vaginismus and decide if that sounds like what you’re experiencing. It can be caused by emotional factors and sounds like what you’re experiencing.

[Deleted User] · December 2017

@KLake42 no advice, but just wanted to send creepy internet hugs your way, girl

babymakes9 · December 2017

KLake42 said:

Are you planning on going natural or using medication? Some of the medicines may help you relax.

You could try having your partner use her hands to penetrate you , or use your own hands, but i don't know if a few days would be long enough for you to get over this. How do you do on papsmears?

madcouplewithabox · December 2017

So sorry you have to deal with this @KLake42. Some hospitals allow for minimal checks. I’m not quite sure how it would work for an induction though, but it’s worth a discussion with your hospital. If you can I would certainly let those who will be doing the checks know of the situation that way they can make it as comfortable on you as possible and to as few checks as possible as well. If you have the ability, you could also look into a doula that has experience working with individuals with past trauma.

EmilyLove25 · December 2017

@KLake42 I think it is great that you are being proactive about this and trying out visualization etc. techniques. Hugs to you. I found during birth that a lot of my anxieties just vanished or worked themselves out. I cried hysterically twice and it was me processing fears etc. I had the most supportive nurse too and I truly hope you do as well. If you do not feel comfortable with someone on your care team, do not be scared to vocalize it. Hugs to you!

BelhurstBride · December 2017

@KLake42, I've never been induced, so there's that, but with both of the girls I had minimal checks. I don't know if it's different with an induction, but there's really no reason for anyone to have their hands all up in there.

What I do know is that they should be considering your Bishop score (which unfortunately does involve checking your cervix) before attempting an induction. If your score isn't appropriate they shouldn't be inducing. (More likely to fail.)

I'd talk to your doctor about your history and why the checks are upsetting to you.

lmmjd · December 2017

@KLake42 Thinking of you today. I hope the induction goes well and that they are able to make you feel more comfortable with any checks they have to do.

[Deleted User] · December 2017

@KLake42 Thinking of you!! Hope everything goes well!

cyanope · December 2017

Good luck today, @KLake42!

burnsmommy27 · December 2017

Hoping all is going well as you bring your babies into the world @KLake42

jaclyn0405 · December 2017

Good Luck @KLake42! I hope everything goes smoothly for you today!

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