April 2018 Moms

FFFC

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Re: FFFC

  • @ngolimento I don’t wish a high need baby on anyone for sure!!! My niece had horrible reflux and cried for like 4 months straight day or night so I had a small glimpse of how hard and terrible it is for the parents. And although I’m crossing my fingers this baby will be healthy/easy I certainly have no guarantee. 
    If it can encourage you, my nephew (brother of the reflux baby) game 2 years later and had no issues and was the easiest baby ever (as easy as newborns can be ;) )
  • @ngolimento unfortunately it’s not necessarily an either/or proposition - I am lucky enough to get colicky/high needs babies at night and I get to stay home with the big ones all day. To me it’s not about having an easy or fun maternity leave; it’s about literally surviving it. I can’t complain too much, though, because my mom will likely help a ton and in the event she can’t or can’t help enough, we will hire someone. It’s survival mode.
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  • danjoly said:
    @ngolimento I don’t wish a high need baby on anyone for sure!!! My niece had horrible reflux and cried for like 4 months straight day or night so I had a small glimpse of how hard and terrible it is for the parents. And although I’m crossing my fingers this baby will be healthy/easy I certainly have no guarantee. 
    If it can encourage you, my nephew (brother of the reflux baby) game 2 years later and had no issues and was the easiest baby ever (as easy as newborns can be ;) )
    Thanks, I really hope that I can experience a "normal" newborn, because I feel like I was robbed with my first.  I spent most of my leave terrified that she would have a serious hernia because she strained and cried so much (you haven't lived until you have sobbed at 2am while uselessly holding a hand over your baby's stomach, while she pushes against an ever worsening hernia).

    @lindsye I am not saying at all that women who are staying at home with multiple kids have it easy and are sitting around sipping margaritas compared to me, I'm trying to point out that the "grass is greener" mentality about maternity leave variations is destructive and innacurate.  There are other things to look at beyond "Oh she gets to send her kid to daycare, she is so lucky".  I by no means am trying to make this a game of one-upping (any loss lady can just tell us all to go to hell because we even have babies to begin with).  There is always more to someone's  story.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @irenejean I don't exactly know how to bring it up to her...I was hoping by sending her the unrelated message that I did that it would break the ice, but she didn't respond to that one either.  I know that her stepdaughter (who she considers her daughter) is also pregnant right now with a healthy baby so maybe that has something to do with it.
  • @sparklingdiamond So sorry you are going through this stressful time without their support. I suppose it is possible she's reacting the way she is because of her own family stuff, but I hope your H is able to talk to her and find out.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • lindsye said:
    I am jealous of them too, @danjoly! If you can drop the older kid(s) off at childcare and nap when the baby naps I think it would be a much easier experience. Trying to take care of little kids when you are sleep deprived out of your mind is a recipe for madness. I’m going to have four under six at home with me this summer, so I definitely feel your pain.  :#
    Yeesh. Godspeed momma. 



    FFFC-- I miss wine so much. Like, so so much. I think about it all the time. I was talking to MH about how I never missed it at all when I was pregnant with DD and how weird it was that I want it so bad this pregnancy. Why could that be? I was perplexed until I realized it's because I didn't have a toddler last time. Yes, a sweet, amazing, crazy tornado of toddler that makes me want to turn to the sweet embrace of a good glass of red. Sigh. I am in awe of parents who do it without caffeine or alcohol, because I know they are out there!
    SO MUCH YES. I was worried I might have a problem with how much I daydream about wine.

    Married: 11/2011
    DS-9/2012
    DD-7/2015
    Sweet Angel Boy born too soon 12/17/17
    EDD-4/2019

  • @beach_mama I second @kmalls, do it! We have a cleaner come every other week, and it's such a huge help for us! 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I sent her a random unrelated message and she did respond to that at least...
  • Yes @beach_mama US maternity leave is completely insane and 12 weeks is NOT the same as 12 months at all!!! As much as 2u2 will be a handful I also can’t imagine putting my 12 weeks old baby in daycare and it must be crazy hard. I’m very lucky to be able to stay with the baby and it should be the same for everyone but USA government doesn’t  seem to value that :(
  • Yeah, sadly 12 weeks paid maternity leave is considered extremely luxurious here in the US.  With my first I only got 5 weeks, and blew all my vacation time out of the water to get it to 8 weeks.  It killed me to hand a colicky baby over to strangers and pray they wouldn't  lose patience with her.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • @kmalls I’m totally plotting how to ask my parents or ILs for a cleaning package now...!!
  • I am pulling DS from daycare. I am not 100% pleased with them. I like them well enough but they refuse to help potty train him when he is there 40 hours a week. It will give us a chance to save some money and since I am a teacher I get 5 months, so that makes a difference too. I am worried about giving them both the attention that they both need and deserve. 
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