FFFC

sparklingdiamond · December 2017

Anything good today?

I still wish I could figure out GIFs, but also haven't taken that much time to try it

ngolimento · December 2017

I got yer back!

itsrandiyo · December 2017

ngolimento awwww, I just finished Pretty Little Liars and I am having withdrawls

. That just reminded me again. lol

ladythrice · December 2017

I love PLL! Guilty pleasure

sparklingdiamond · December 2017

@ngolimento Thanks! I have never watched Pretty Little Liars. Is it on Netflix?

danjoly · December 2017

Ok this one totally comes from jealousy but I think moms who gets to send their older kids to daycare during maternity leave have it easy! I’m originally from Quebec and women gets a year off of paid leave and most of my friends continued sending their kids to daycare during subsequent leaves. So when I’m being told « having two is not so bad » I really want to say IT DOESNT COUNT!!!! I’m actually dreading having 2under2 at home by myself 9h/day!!!

pghren · December 2017

@sparklingdiamond yup it is!

sarahkate2233 · December 2017

So sad PLL is over. @sparklingdiamond it used to be on netflix, I haven't checked recently though.

Confession time, I've been super irritable the past two (maybe more) weeks. I am aware of it, I know I am difficult to deal with, and I'm not that bothered by it.

lindsye · December 2017

I am jealous of them too, @danjoly! If you can drop the older kid(s) off at childcare and nap when the baby naps I think it would be a much easier experience. Trying to take care of little kids when you are sleep deprived out of your mind is a recipe for madness. I’m going to have four under six at home with me this summer, so I definitely feel your pain.

ladythrice · December 2017

@danjoly, I went through this weird phase for about 2 years after DS was born where I felt overwhelming, crushing guilt if I spent any 'free' time (ie. time not at work) somewhere without my kid(s). It bordered on obsessive... As a result, when DD1 was born (DS was 19 months) I kept him home from daycare (I didn't want to waste my 'free' time/not at the office time, not spending it with both kids). It worked out lol. It probably would have been easier some days if DS was at daycare but I loved my maternity leave with DD1. I was on a high pretty much the whole thing and felt like wonder woman the whole time. It was vastly different than my leave with DS where I was an anxious mess that was afraid to take my perfect baby out of the house.

danjoly · December 2017

@lindsye omg 4 under 6 makes me want to curl up and cry!! Like nobody is on the same schedule or activities!!

lindsye · December 2017

Lol, @danjoly! Thankfully my mom will be around to help for a lot of it and it’s only three months (right???). But yes, it will be a challenge.

danjoly · December 2017

@ladythrice I’m hoping having a 20 months old will actually kick my butts for more productive days/outside of the house activities with DS2 in the carrier! I’m also glad this baby will come early spring and by the time summer aka busy season is around, he’ll be old enough so it won’t be too much of a hassle to do outside activities

ladythrice · December 2017

@danjoly that's exactly how it was for me when DD1 was born! DS is an ACTIVE kid that needs stimulation... partly because of his personality from DH and I and partly because he's been in daycare with constant activities and structured playtime most of his life. As a result, I quickly found out that maternity leave was not going to be the laze about the house watching TV experience it was the first time around. We left the house every day, at least once a day to go to parks, libraries, jumping gyms, walks, etc. I think the activity ended up being a mood booster for me surprisingly, and it helped DS take great naps

whatabout2ndbreakfast · December 2017

Today DS had to get a flu shot. He did so great and got a lollipop! So I go to drop him off at daycare, and he's a little bit wired at this point. He started running around the room and the other four kids in his room started running around too so when I left I smiled and said "have a good day!" and was thinking good luck calming that down now haha.

whatabout2ndbreakfast · December 2017

We are still on the fence about the daycare during maternity leave thing! I think I might switch from 5 day to 3 day or keep him home entirely to save money. But I hate to change his routine!

sparklingdiamond · December 2017

My plan was to still send DS to his preschool during my maternity leave. Now that I will be spending my maternity leave with a NICU baby, I definitely will be sending him. Someone mentioned a preschool in FL that may let him go on a scholarship and that would be awesome.

frenchiekinplusone · December 2017

Mine this week is DHs bday is on Sunday and I haven’t planned anything. I got him the one thing he wanted which was a rather expensive (for us) gift, but haven’t made dinner plans or invited any friends to go out and celebrate like we do most years for each other’s bdays. I’ve just been so distracted and all of a sudden the weekend is here. I asked him what he felt like doing tomorrow night and he kind of looked secretly bummed that I didn’t have anything planned so now I’m scrambling. Some of his friends are going to be away or have kids so can’t just do last minute plans so I feel like a shit. I’ve got about 24 hours to come up with something. At least we’re doing dinner at his parents house on his actual bday Sunday and I’ll make him bday breakfast that morning, but I know he’s thinking about this being his last kid-free birthday ever. Gahhhh I hate December sometimes, too much shit going on!

petethecat · December 2017

lindsye said:

I am jealous of them too, @danjoly! If you can drop the older kid(s) off at childcare and nap when the baby naps I think it would be a much easier experience. Trying to take care of little kids when you are sleep deprived out of your mind is a recipe for madness. I’m going to have four under six at home with me this summer, so I definitely feel your pain.

Yeesh. Godspeed momma.

FFFC-- I miss wine so much. Like, so so much. I think about it all the time. I was talking to MH about how I never missed it at all when I was pregnant with DD and how weird it was that I want it so bad this pregnancy. Why could that be? I was perplexed until I realized it's because I didn't have a toddler last time. Yes, a sweet, amazing, crazy tornado of toddler that makes me want to turn to the sweet embrace of a good glass of red. Sigh. I am in awe of parents who do it without caffeine or alcohol, because I know they are out there!

ekendall09 · December 2017

@peppersmith22 I so want to keep DD home while i'm on leave for summer session. Its her last summer before kindergarten and its totally because I don't have the choice to be a SAHM and I would love to have that time with her since I never really have. I go back and forth of not wanting to change her routine too...not sure what the ultimate decision will be

sparklingdiamond · December 2017

I know this may come off as kind of selfish, but I don't mean it to. My family has been super great and supportive about the diagnosis and trying to help us raise funds and DH's family has done...nothing. I mean I know they don't have to, but I thought they would at least be willing to spread the word about our GoFundMe or T-shirts or something.

stalkinghorse · December 2017

@sparklingdiamond I would find that EXTREMELY disappointing. I think you are totally within your rights and not selfish AT ALL for feeling hurt. I'm so sorry. Have you talked to DH about it? Are they the type of family to kind of bury their head in the sand? My DH's dad was like that about DH's sisters cancer this year.

sparklingdiamond · December 2017

@stalkinghorse I sent the GoFundMe link to my SIL and asked if she would mind sharing it and I saw she read the post and then just never responded and I don't think ever posted about it. And we talk regularly. I haven't heard from her at all since. She was super supportive about it before, so I don't know if I somehow offended her?

mikkimikey · December 2017

My husband was telling me today that he’s going to amp up his night classes next semester to two next semester and maybe three during the summer.

Um bro. Not to be crass, but are you f*cking kidding me?!

I will be alone all day every day starting in May with three kids M-F (thanks summer vacation). And THEN you want to add “coming home at 10 pm THREE nights a week on top of that?!”

he he doesn’t even come home between work and School because his school is about ten minutes from his work and it doesn’t make sense to come all the way home for 30 minutes.

//end rant

stalkinghorse · December 2017

@sparklingdiamond that sounds very strange especially if you have good contact with her. I know sometimes, I've accidentally let something like that slip and then I'm embarrassed I forgot. Maybe a little nudge or mention you've been amazed by some of the response to the GoFundMe?

sparklingdiamond · December 2017

@stalkinghorse Yea and I even sent her another message about something completely unrelated like a week or two later and she read it and didn't respond either.

stalkinghorse · December 2017

@sparklingdiamond ugh. I'm so sorry. That is really frustrating. If she's been super supportive, maybe give her the benefit of the doubt that she may be going through something right now. And give yourself the benefit of the doubt that it's unlikely you did anything to offend. But I'm sorry either way, that's the kind of thing that I will ruminate on for days. Big hugs!

dan0081 · December 2017

@lindsye You are a rockstar to have four under 6 years old during your leave. That's so helpful your mom is coming to help out!
@sparklingdiamond That sounds like a difficult situation to be in, and I'm sorry you are having to deal with that. Will you be seeing them over the holidays or anytime soon where you could possibly have a conversation about the situation, if you feel comfortable or led to do that? I know that may be an uncomfortable conversation, but maybe it would give you insight and even an opportunity for you to tell them how you are feeling.
@mikkimikey I think that's totally normal for you to feel that way.. especially when that's right when baby arrives. Is he working towards a degree that he needs/wants to get done in a certain period of time? I find the difficulty with adding classes is the extra time away from home AND the amount of homework and testing that needs to be done on top of it. Hopefully you can talk to him and explain how you feel in the situation because you are definitely warranted to feel that way!

Dumbgurl04 · December 2017

yeah i'm going to be one of the ones that sends her kid to daycare while on maternity leave. Of course for the week that I would be in the hospital she won't be there but after that she will go to daycare. We will have to pay a to hold her spot, it might be a little less then the normal amount if she was out while I was on leave. So why not just pay the normal rate and keep her in daycare to keep her routine somewhat similar so things still seem a little the same even with the added family member to the mix.

Also totally love PPL and yes it is still on netflix

@sparklingdiamond I don't think it is selfish to feel hurt. You would think they would want to buy a shirt or something, unless they are planning to help in a different way.

Edited to fix tag

mountainsmama · December 2017

@danjoly We are keeping DD in day care because if we take her out we can lose her spot, and I love the school. Plus I want her to stick to her routine. However, I am feeling some major guilt about not spending all that time with her when I could be, in theory. Plus it's so expensive. OTOH, I kind of can't wait for easy afternoons watching tv with a baby sleeping on my chest

The four hours between toddler pick up and bedtime will be crazy enough I think.

mikkimikey · December 2017

dan0081 said:

@mikkimikey I think that's totally normal for you to feel that way.. especially when that's right when baby arrives. Is he working towards a degree that he needs/wants to get done in a certain period of time? I find the difficulty with adding classes is the extra time away from home AND the amount of homework and testing that needs to be done on top of it. Hopefully you can talk to him and explain how you feel in the situation because you are definitely warranted to feel that way!

@dan0081 there’s no certain time period he NEEDS to finish it in. I think he’s feeling like a slacker because this semester he only took one class on a Monday night because he knew he would be traveling SO much for work.

So it’s a personal choice that he wants to make up for that time lost, but I’m stressing even thinking about it.

jenotontx · December 2017

I'm only on kid #1 but I fully intend to send her to daycare throughout my leave when I am on kid #2. I would want to be able to give as much undivided attention to my new little one as I can, just like I will be able to give to my first. I don't mean any offense to those of you who are SAHM and will be watching more kids then just your NB... I'm just proving the thinking process for why I won't personally feel guilty about sending my oldest to daycare when I'm on leave.

@sparklingdiamond I can definitely understand why you would feel hurt and disappointed by that. Some people do just feel uncomfortable about asking other people for money but I would think that your close family and friends would at least provide a small donation or order a shirt themselves.

sparklingdiamond · December 2017

I wouldn't feel as weird about it, but I know they have promoted other causes before (like raising money for my stepson who has spina bifida).

rklinge0 · December 2017

@sparklingdiamond I had that as a rant back in September. My family did the buddy walk which helps raise awareness for t21 and helps support/pays for our local d.s. center. They have done it 2 years in a row, my brother even did it this year with a newborn. My husband's side couldn't take the time to come out and support us that day. MIL's excuse was she had a football game the night before.
It sucks to feel unsupported especially when there is a diagnosis and so many emotions are running high during the diagnosis period. Have you mentioned this to your husband? I did but highly doubt he said anything.

irenejean · December 2017

We're keeping DS in daycare while I'm on maternity leave, and I feel very fortunate that we can do that. I think taking care of other kids when you have a newborn is so tough, you mommas who are going to do that are superhuman in my eyes! For us, we don't want to lose DS's spot in his school, we love it! And we love keeping him in his routine.

sparklingdiamond · December 2017

@rklinge0 I asked if he had talked to her and if I had somehow upset her by asking about the GoFundMe and he said he hadn't talked to her but didn't think that would be something to upset her. That's about all we have said about it.

ladythrice · December 2017

@kbamomma33 +1 to missing wine man. It's really silly how much I miss being able to have a glass of wine whenever I want... or a martini if the mood strikes. I'm not a huge drinker in the least but for some reason this pregnancy I miss it so bad!

ngolimento · December 2017

Don't group everyone who is going to put a child into daycare as "lucky". I am doing it because I don't have much of a choice if I want myself and my second child to survive the newborn period. My daughter's newborn period was a horrible nightmare because she had extreme digestive distress and intolerance. It is hereditary so it is very likely to happen to DD2 as well.

While you sit there and be jealous of my easy lifestyle, I will be drowning in jealousy that you can leave the house at all, and that your baby has periods where he/she won't cry, and that you will occasionally be able to see them be comfortable and happy instead of desperately spending the entire day knowing your baby is in pain, and being able to do nothing to help her. I am also ugly jealous of anyone whose baby slept for more than 45 minute stretches until they were 6 months old.

So, maybe the grass is greener, and other people look spoiled, but I guarantee you that you don't want to switch maternity leaves with me.

whatabout2ndbreakfast · December 2017

@ekendall09 Yes! That's how I feel exactly. @kbamomma33 I also miss wine

And fancy beers.

kaymaroo · December 2017

Other than buying a car seat and a few outfits I have done nothing to prepare for this baby. I honestly don't care about the nursery at all and even with other gear/essentials I feel like I can buy it on Amazon or send DH out to Target for stuff we need after LO is born. I think it seems like I'm not excited about the baby, but in reality I'm just not excited for all the "stuff" involved.

irenejean · December 2017

@sparklingdiamond I'm sorry you're dealing with that, I would be confused and a little hurt too! Would it be too awkward to ask her if you offended her somehow? It could either be related to you, or it could be something else completely unrelated to you. Either way, it might be nice to know?

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