UO Thursday 12/7

frenchiekinplusone · December 2017

its that time! (Insert clever gif here bc I still don’t know how)

frenchiekinplusone · December 2017

Mine: I have a serious issue with Elf on the Shelf. I don’t feel good about basically threatening kids with constant surveillance so they behave to get their Xmas presents. I’m sure some people use it in other ways and their kids love it and maybe I’m a naive FTM but I really hate the whole idea. I’ve let my mom know already that the Elf won’t be living with us when that age comes so to not even think about gifting it to my kid.

sparklingdiamond · December 2017

I hate Elf on the Shelf too. I just find him super creepy.

ladythrice · December 2017

Ugh, we don't use Elf on the Shelf either. We have one a great aunt bought us when DS was a week old... It's been in the box since then.

My parents never used Santa as a form of behavior modification so the thought of using the elf that way is just foreign to me. I had no plans on breaking our elf out any time soon but my son's preschool classroom just got a damn elf this morning. /sigh. I'm hoping they just keep it as a fun classroom tradition and don't use it as a behavior modifier b/c I don't buy into that.

ladythrice · December 2017

On the other hand, I don't think there's an age too old to believe in Santa! Not because I want to threaten my kids with losing their presents from Santa.... but because I have such great memories of the Santa tradition as a kid. And even when I found out he wasn't real my mom sat me down and explained that Santa is a 'feeling' and 'tradition' designed to augment the holiday season and that as long as you believe, he'll keep coming to see you... and oh by the way you have three little siblings that do believe so don't ruin Christmas for them

. Anyway, I'm in my 30s and still 'believe' and Santa still gives me a little gift every year

This UO brought to you after I listened to coworkers complain that their 10 year old and 12 year old kids were too old to believe in Santa

... insert me gasping out loud during the meeting

frenchiekinplusone · December 2017

@ladythrice I have friends with a 1st grader and their kids class just got one as well, so now he is asking for one at home. My friend posted about it on FB and it seems to be getting pretty common for school classrooms to have them, which really bothers me. I’m not a Christmas hater at all, it’s my favorite holiday, I just don’t think the Elf is appropriate in a classroom setting.

ngolimento · December 2017

Add me into the anti-elf group. It is entirely possible that I will eventually be faced with a precocious kid and will do it, but I don't like the idea of essentially telling my kids "behave because someone is watching". So.....what about when someone isn't watching? That is the wrong base reason to be a decent person (and my main problem with organized religion in general, but that is another talk).

My UO for the day is that I generally don't like Xmas. I think the base "goodwill towards mankind" thing is great, but almost nobody participates in that. Instead we collectively have turned it into a HUGE stressful competitive obligation. I mean, if your holiday regularly results in average citizens assaulting each other over stupid toys, then you know it is pretty much off the rails. The pressure to decorate, buy, organize, host, cook, etc is just whacky.

ladythrice · December 2017

ngolimento said:

Add me into the anti-elf group. It is entirely possible that I will eventually be faced with a precocious kid and will do it, but I don't like the idea of essentially telling my kids "behave because someone is watching". So.....what about when someone isn't watching? That is the wrong base reason to be a decent person (and my main problem with organized religion in general, but that is another talk).

Exactly!

kmalls · December 2017

Elf on a Shelf: I considered getting one this year, but just as a fun thing for the kids. Like, “where will we find the elf today?! Let’s go look!” Not as a behavior thing because I agree that’s weird.

UO: I’ll have to come back, I got nothing right now.

ladythrice · December 2017

ngolimento said:

My UO for the day is that I generally don't like Xmas. I think the base "goodwill towards mankind" thing is great, but almost nobody participates in that. Instead we collectively have turned it into a HUGE stressful competitive obligation. I mean, if your holiday regularly results in average citizens assaulting each other over stupid toys, then you know it is pretty much off the rails. The pressure to decorate, buy, organize, host, cook, etc is just whacky.

/GASP, SAY IT ISN'T SO

J/k j/k... I think you've deftly pointed out all the things wrong with this holiday. Growing up my parents didn't have much money and we didn't live near extended family so Thanksgiving through Christmas was essentially just constant family bonding and hanging out. My mom, practically Martha Stewart, did decorate and cook like crazy but it was generally an effort to replace the lack of 'stuff' with family time and it worked for us. Its a model I need to remember when my kids get older. Its too easy in this day and age to just focus on the gifts and I'm the first to admit that I overbuy at Christmas (and all year I suppose...) its something I'm working on!

mcb2016 · December 2017

Someone gifted us an elf on the shelf. I half heartedly move it around the house when I remember. My 1 year old loves it. Like he's so excited to see where it is each day. If Santa only came for good behavior we'd have a few years he'd have skipped us over.

My 12 year old says he still believes in Santa. He just started declaring it this year. We had told him years ago the truth when he asked. So I was a bit confused when he started saying he truly believes.

I saw a fb book posting recently about making a present jail and taking away gifts when the child isn't behaving. That was too much for me.

sparklingdiamond · December 2017

Also if someone had told me as a kid that an elf was watching me, I would've been terrified!

ekendall09 · December 2017

we have an elf on the shelf (a plush one). DD pulled it out this year and "hey mom, got a shelf for this guy".....end elf on the shelf at our house. works for me!!!

I expect good behavior all year so there will be no elf helping to monitor that for me.

@ladythrice I like the way your mom explained it. DD (4) asked me if Santa is real the other day and I asked her what she thought. She said yes and no but I didn't really push either way just wanted to hear her thoughts. I think we'll end up going the same route as you. My parents never told us there wasn't but we loved the magic behind waking up to a stocking together.

on a semi unrelated note I left carrots for reindeer my whole life. I found out last year my parents used to pick them up. I at a minimum thought my whole life some animal had atleast eaten them even if it wasn't a reindeer, talk about a dream crusher!!!!!

whatabout2ndbreakfast · December 2017

ladythrice said:

J/k j/k... I think you've deftly pointed out all the things wrong with this holiday. Growing up my parents didn't have much money and we didn't live near extended family so Thanksgiving through Christmas was essentially just constant family bonding and hanging out. My mom, practically Martha Stewart, did decorate and cook like crazy but it was generally an effort to replace the lack of 'stuff' with family time and it worked for us. Its a model I need to remember when my kids get older. Its too easy in this day and age to just focus on the gifts and I'm the first to admit that I overbuy at Christmas (and all year I suppose...) its something I'm working on!

Yes, that's what I love about this season! I love how everyone makes a big effort to get together.

Not a fan of elf on the shelf. I don't even know where that tradition came from, all of a sudden this elf was popping up on facebook in compromising positions haha. It would be cute to move him around for awhile and maybe DS would like looking for him, but I would never use it as a Santa surveillance kind of deal.

AFM, UO- I love live Christmas trees and I just don't think that fake ones count. We had a fake tree when DS was born (his birthday is Nov 28th) and I really felt like I was missing out and regret not even getting a little Charlie Brown tree.

klburke88 · December 2017

I feel like good behaviour should be an expectation and that kids shouldn't necessarily be 'rewarded' for it with gifts. Elf on the Shelf doesn't bother me too much, though. My 11yo is a bit too old for it, but I enjoy seeing other parents on Facebook get creative with how they pose the elf every night.

DD has always been a firm believer in Santa, even when other kids told her he wasn't real. That is... until this year when her 6th grade social studies teacher decided to tell the entire class that Santa was made up by Coca Cola and that their parents have been lying to them their whole lives. My husband was FURIOUS when he found out and wanted to write a letter to the school complaining.

okayrunner · December 2017

Plus one not being a fan of Elf on the Shelf. I have a huge problem with that and Santa both being used to modify behavior. I think it teaches little kids conditional giving, and that’s not what I want DS to learn for Christmas season. I think having it in a classroom setting, where everyone may not follow the Santa tradition, is not okay and can be confusing for kids whose families don’t participate.

DS is 3 and we’ve never talked about Santa at home, yet he’s super excited for him to come. We’re not going to push the myth and behavior, but let him naturally progress through it without forcing it. We are going to empasize giving and this year he picked a family to donate off of a giving tree.

lindsye · December 2017

It’s so funny this came up today! I have never used Santa as a threat and don’t do Elf on the Shelf either (can neither confirm nor deny that it’s because i’m too lazy/too busy trying to keep these three little people alive). Today, my 3 year old DD2 - who is and always has been a challenge - was demanding to wear jelly sandals to school and it’s 40 degrees outside. I was fighting the good fight as usual - which culminated in her throwing her jellies at me - when suddenly she got real quiet and asked “is Santa still going to bring me presents?” I gave her a very solemn look and an “I don’t know” shrug and those weather-appropriate shoes were on in a jiffy. Can’t say I did anything to dispel the idea, but I didn’t bring it up either.

irenejean · December 2017

We haven't done any Santa traditions with DS yet, mainly because we didn't do them when I was growing up (my mom is Korean and didn't understand the whole Santa thing), and DH hasn't been too interested in doing it. I've thought about taking DS to see Santa at some point, but worried about him actually believing it and then having to explain it to him later. @ladythrice it sounds like your parents did a good job of explaining Santa to you!

We also haven't done elf on the shelf, but I came across this a couple years ago, and it's seriously adorable! The dad has continued to do this and also has some pretty amazing pictures of his son with Down Syndrome too.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/familys-real-life-elf-on-the-shelf-adorably-causes-mischief_us_5672ea44e4b0dfd4bcc0dff7

Dumbgurl04 · December 2017

I find it ironic that the elf is used to promote good behavior but some of things that people have the elf doing are something I wouldn't want my kid to do. Like dump sugar on the table and spell something out.

I will say I have been guilty once or twice in the last few weeks telling DD that Santa might not come to our house if she keeps acting like that. I know it is awful but it was like a last resort kind of go to while being a the end of my nerves with DD.

pghren · December 2017

klburke88 · December 2017

@allowachick OMG I'm dying!!!!

kmalls · December 2017

^^^ omg that is amazing.

ladythrice · December 2017

Just saw this today; I like this idea!

Maybe not the whole 'exchange' idea, but I do like the idea of using Christmas as a time to remind my kids that they should gift some of their toys to others less fortunate.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/qg/uo1zajwtfb7y.png

frenchiekinplusone · December 2017

@ladythrice I like that too!! Unfortunately still features the creepy looking elf lol but I love seeing parents using the elf in other ways that takes the behavior modification/surveillance out of it and actually teaches or inspires kids to do something good for others, etc. I can get behind that!

ekendall09 · December 2017

Thats a nice idea. We do regular toy clean outs and donations in our house, we have yet to have a meltdown but i'm sure the day will come

ngolimento · December 2017

@allowachick now I should go to the post for "Why I am crying" because I broke myself laughing at that picture. Too too funny!

mikkimikey · December 2017

We love our Elf. His name is Buddy, and he’s never been used for behavior modification!

They just LOVE looking for it in the mornings (when I actually remember to MOVE it lol)

he gets into some some fun mischief and leaves them notes and stuff.

I don’t think the elf is actually cute, but doing fun things with him is cool for the kids. I’ve never used him as a threat though!

jenotontx · December 2017

UO: I'm definitely team white Christmas lights on trees instead of colored!

ekendall09 · December 2017

@JJMNO1616 same!!

psuxray07 · December 2017

@JJMNO1616 haha I just came to put my UO and it was I despise white Christmas lights!! It's soooo boring. Color all the way! My mom used to drive us though the neighborhood to look at Christmas lights and the white ones were the worst, lol. It's so non Christmassy to me.

ftm_ohio · December 2017

@JJMNO1616 I'm team both!

kaymaroo · December 2017

DS is six and I can't wait for him to stop believing in Santa. With him having two houses/families, it's incredibly hard work to keep up the story. Why does he have an Elf at Daddy's and not at our house? How can Santa bring him presents to Dad's house when he's at our house on Christmas Day? How come Santa brings all the presents at Dad's but only one or two at Mom's (the rest are from me & DH)? I mean we've made it work so far but the amount of times I've had to do mental gymnastics to explain the discrepancies is absurd.

My parents told me the truth when I was three so I have no memories of thinking Santa was real or buying into the "magic" of it, so to me it's all just a little silly. I'll never be the one to ruin it for him but I am beyond ready for him to figure it out on his own.

sparklingdiamond · December 2017

I am with you @psuxray07! White lights are so boring!!

ekendall09 · December 2017

@kaymaroo I struggle with the same. DD celebrates totally different at her dads than mine and like everything else that different throughout the year between houses I just say everyone is different and leave santa out of it. Its too much work to explain why for everything. We're mostly at the stage where getting 2+ christmas' is still exciting regardless if they are done differently.

ngolimento · December 2017

I'm team white lights too! It looks so classy and elegant. Of course, I have a kid, so I have to annoy the shit out of myself with flashing multicolored lights, but one day I will be an empty nester and can do what I want!

....until grandkids...

irenejean · December 2017

Team white lights too

kaymaroo · December 2017

@ekendall09 I like that approach! DS is super analytical so the Santa part gets rough. I don't know how we're going to handle it when this LO comes around and we can't just delay Christmas to wait for DS on years he's with his dad. It honestly stresses me out more than is reasonable.

kmalls · December 2017

Also team white lights! Our tree only has white lights and our exterior lights are also white. I feel like it looks so much cleaner that way.

...that being said, I freaking LOVE hideous lawn ornaments. The tackier the better. On our lawn right now is a pig dressed like an elf, two little dogs with Christmas gear on, a Christmas cow and a huge Christmas giraffe. All light up (but not blow up, surprisingly I hate blow up lawn ornaments). We also have one of those ridiculous contraptions that projects multicolored laser beams onto our house. It’s so horrifically amazing.

ekendall09 · December 2017

@kaymaroo I honestly hadn't even thought of that. I either have DD xmas eve until noon on xmas or get her at noon on xmas. I'm guessing we can come up with a tradition that allows us to still celebrate some aspects of it and make it special for both....not sure what that is now, but I have a couple years before it matters right??

jenotontx · December 2017

psuxray07 said:

@JJMNO1616 haha I just came to put my UO and it was I despise white Christmas lights!! It's soooo boring. Color all the way! My mom used to drive us though the neighborhood to look at Christmas lights and the white ones were the worst, lol. It's so non Christmassy to me.

I don't mind colored lights outside, I just don't like them on trees people have in the house. I agree with @kmalls that it just looks cleaner to me.

kmalls said:

Also team white lights! Our tree only has white lights and our exterior lights are also white. I feel like it looks so much cleaner that way.

...that being said, I freaking LOVE hideous lawn ornaments. The tackier the better. On our lawn right now is a pig dressed like an elf, two little dogs with Christmas gear on, a Christmas cow and a huge Christmas giraffe. All light up (but not blow up, surprisingly I hate blow up lawn ornaments). We also have one of those ridiculous contraptions that projects multicolored laser beams onto our house. It’s so horrifically amazing.

One of my neighbors has this and my husband and I want one now! I think it's pretty cool.

keeksie84 · December 2017

I was just thinking about how stressful/dumb Elf on the Shelf seems. I was wondering if I'd change my mind when LO is old enough to care.

@ngolimento - I share your feelings about Christmas. I like getting together with family, but I could do without all the other stressful BS (like consumerism) that comes with it.

My UO - I can't really participate in the baby names thread because I'm really picky and HATE a lot of names people choose. If I can't say anything nice...

ETA: Wow, this makes me seem like a total Debbie Downer. I swear I like other things!

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