Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Weekly Symptoms Thread w/o Nov. 26
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
No changes in the boob dept here, thus far.
On a different note, my dream last night included me stealing burrito sized egg rolls from a Chinese buffet. I am ashamed.
I'm part of the no-boob-change group here. They got a little fuller at the beginning, but then that's it. I still fit in the same bra that I wore before (32D). Now I'm worried this will impact my breastfeeding plans!
I haven't really been experiencing any wild hormonal changes at all (except nausea), but yesterday I dived nose first into nesting. I threw away all my "toxic" cleaning products (anyone clean with vinegar and baking soda and have advice?), made plans to clean out my garage this weekend, bullied MH into finally finishing painting this weekend, and I have an amazon shipment coming full of organizational things. God I hope this feeling lasts long enough to actually get something done haha.
Me: 32 | DH: 36
Married June 2005
1/2016 - TTC#1
4/2017 - Initial RE visit, Dx: Severe MFI (Varicocele, 14% motility, 3% progression, but normal count)
7/2017 - Stage 3 endometriosis discovered during laparoscopic removal of ovarian cyst
9/27/2017 - BFP at 10dpo (cycle 22), baby boy due June 9, 2018
ETA: I think this is it
re nipples: My didn't change at allllll. Darkness or size.
I really miss my full boobs. They were so perky. *sigh*
Married March 2016
DD: born 7.22.16
DS EDD: 6.23.18
I’ve always loved being outgoing and in a career, But this pregnancy wants me to be a homebody. I’d give anything to be a stay-at-home-pregnant-woman.
Anyone else have their pregnancies interferre with work? How’d you handle it?
@doxiemoxie212 - mine def got way bigger and darker...went back down to normal a few months after I stopped nursing...and are already back on the getting bigger train (not yet darker). From what I've read/heard they get darker so they are more easily identifiable to babies when they're first born since they only see black and white for a while. I also had an extremely dark linea nigra. Doc actually said it was rare for someone with skin as fair as mine to have such a dark line. I got a very small amount of the dark spots on my face as well...I'm not sure if those are related or not.
Pre baby 1 I was 34c, by month 9 I was 36ddd...post nursing I went back down to 34d and I'm rapidly growing...they're getting massive yet again/already. I dread when they deflate again and get...non-perky...
Soap scum in sinks and tub I use dish soap and vinegar and a scrubby sponge.
Regular toilet cleaning I just do an ecloth on the outside and castille soap (or any liquid soap on hand) and toilet brush inside.
Don't use vinegar on granite countertops FYI. You can use rubbing alcohol. (Not sure that counts as "natural.")
also, nipples: DH lovingly informed me that nipples my size are often referred to as “pepperoni nips” ... he’s really good at amping up my self confidence
NTNP: May 2015
TTC #1: late August 2015
PCOS Dx: January 2016, starting Femara Feb 2016
BFP: 2/29/16 - Happy Leap Day!
@manda9485 I hear you about the vivid dreams/nightmares! When I'm not pregnant, I remember maybe one dream every 6 months or so. Now, it's at least one every night, and never a good one
I would just like to say that I am beyond over post-nasal drip and my stupid gag reflex, but at least with this pregnancy, I can brush my teeth without puking.
I have an OB appointment on Monday where I'll discuss all this. I have been thirsty as all get out, frequent urination, and I'm exhausted. Which could just be standard pregnancy symptoms. But I have not felt this type of exhaustion before. I fell asleep while driving home from work yesterday. I have never done that before in my life. It scared the crap out of me because I was sitting up and driving one moment then the next I shook awake over a car noise. I am typing this now because I started slumping over at my desk without realizing it. I stood up to stretch and shake my limbs out and I feel like I just ran a marathon. I needed a brain distraction.
I am hoping this is pregnancy nerves.
I was borderline diabetic in the past. I also have PCOS. I used to get like this back then. But I made a great many lifestyle changes and was on metformin for a long time and turned things around. I see the new Endo in a few weeks. I guess I am just super antsy and paranoid.
I also found pants that were long enough (surprisingly) at Motherhood Maternity.