@acunamatada your DS sounds a lot like mine. His pedi was not concerned at the 2 year checkup because he has a few 2 word phrases, but if things don't pick up significantly in the next 4 or 5 months I want to get him evaluated. I balance a fine line between not wanting to overreact but also wanting to make sure I advocate for him and get him the help he needs, if he needs it. He is SO smart and understands literally everything I say, but his verbal skills are lacking.
Edited because syllables and words are not the same, dumbie.
So happy to read I'm not alone in the STM guilt! DD is the biggest mama's girl on the planet. It's gonna kill her to share... but at the same time I know she needs it. I also have anxiety about splitting time. I feel a lot better knowing you ladies have similar feelings.
@amylu914 yeah exactly, he knows some 2 word phrases. He's so smart and outgoing and understands so much but verbally it's just not there. I don't want to over react but I also don't want to wait too long to do something and regret it later.
The mom guilt is real. I think it's very normal - it's hard anticipating how it will be once your second child arrives. If I'm being honest, things weren't easy right off the bat when DS2 was born. I cried a lot - missing DS1 while we were in the hospital with our newborn. I was also so sad about not being able to carry him during recovery and missing out on some bedtime routines while LO was nursing and trying to get to sleep. The good thing is, it did become easier over time as we established some routines. DH was really helpful with both boys, which meant we each had time with each kid. That seemed to help the boys bond with him, too, which was awesome to see. I also think that having another has helped me to appreciate (even more) any one on one time I have with either boy. Andplusalso! they really do love each other. Don't get me wrong, there's lots of fighting and yelling now that they're 4 and 2 y.o., but when they hug and laugh and play and read books together, it totally makes up for it. There will always be questions or doubts about whether you are showing your child enough love and attention. I think that's part of what makes you a good mom.
@rosettesandstripes My LO is currently 5 MO meaning her and the second will be 12 months or less apart. DH and I are very exited, don't get me wrong, but I am also super terrified. I imagine the first few years are going to be rough but I'm hoping it will be wonderful once they're able to play together
@TalesOfASocialIntrovert, one of my cousins has 2 that are 50 weeks apart and she loves it now that they are 3 and 4. She also says she’s glad she got all the baby days out of the way at once!
@acunamatada I was worried about my DD speech early. Thankfully my Pedi leans towards caution and we got into a therapist- ended up being her ears though.
@rosettesandstripes hope you see this tag this is the stm check in and likely to help you find people you are looking for. anyone else have or going to have kiddos close in age?
@rosettesandstripes I will have 3 under 2 for two months if this baby comes on time (my twins will be 22m). You bet your ass I'm freaking out a little!
I have no STM guilt, but I am anxious to see how it will work out. My DS is 4, will be 5 1/2 when this one arrives and entering kindergarten. He's been asking for a little sister, but I don't think he knows what that means. This will definitely be an adventure!
@comealongponds@TalesOfASocialIntrovert Im happy to hear other moms with “irish Twins” - especially ones who already are going through it or been through it! I def will need tips and tricks because my 8MO is already a busy Crazy bee! By the time I give birth he’ll be 16 months !
I don't really feel a lot of stm guilt. My DD and ds are far apart in age (7 years) so it was a different experience than many of you. My DD didn't really have any jealousy as she understood the baby needed my attention more. I just made sure she knew she was still loved and important. I took her on some one on one outings too.
This baby and ds will be 3 years apart, so I know it will be a bit different this time.
Any STM+ having an issue with indigestion like pain and pressure after eating. Mine is horrible anytime I eat, especially after dinner. Ive tried to make my meals smaller but it hasnt helped. My uppee abdomen gets so bloated and hard it actually is extremely uncomfortable. I plan on asking my dr when I talk to her tomorrow but I didnt have this with my other pregnancies.
Married since 5/23/09
Stepdaughter-2/17/02
DS #1 born 1/25/10
DS #2 born 4/25/12 BFP 2/2016 M/C 3/2016 @ 5 weeks Trying for #4 since 11/2015
@zg49 - know you aren't alone in your feeling! I could have written this word for word. I'm trying to hold on to the fact that I was worried about 2 and it's been amazing so 3 will be the same.... but 3 seems extra scary right now
Any STM+ having an issue with indigestion like pain and pressure after eating. Mine is horrible anytime I eat, especially after dinner. Ive tried to make my meals smaller but it hasnt helped. My uppee abdomen gets so bloated and hard it actually is extremely uncomfortable. I plan on asking my dr when I talk to her tomorrow but I didnt have this with my other pregnancies.
Do you feel it under your ribs? When i was pregnant with ds id get these "attacks" after I ate where it hurt under my ribs and almost felt like it made it hard to breathe. Sometimes I'd throw up and break out in a cold sweat.
Does it happen every time you eat? I ended up connecting mine to when I'd eat certain foods.
@theincrediblehulk not under my ribs really but right in the center of my upper abdoment. I used to have attacks like you described and that actually ended up being my gallbladder which i had removed years ago. This makes it hard to take deep breaths because i feel so bloated and full. I tried burping to see if it was gas but it doesnt help. It is just so uncomfortable. It happens anytime I eat.
Married since 5/23/09
Stepdaughter-2/17/02
DS #1 born 1/25/10
DS #2 born 4/25/12 BFP 2/2016 M/C 3/2016 @ 5 weeks Trying for #4 since 11/2015
anyone have a christmas tree up and a toddler who wants to constantly destory the tree as if it has a vengeful vendetta against it?! haha
My 6mo lab is a much bigger problem over here! DD has done ok with “only 1 finger.” Last year, I was the only one who broke an ornament, so FX we can keep the streak alive!
@stlmegs mention of elf on the shelf in the TWT thread got me thinking...When did y'all start it with your first LOs? I considered it this year but DH thinks DS (2yo) will just see it as another toy to throw around and won't grasp the concept.
@amylu914 my son just turned 5 and this is the second year we have done it. I think if we would have done it any earlier he wouldn't have "got it". My son definitely knows he can't touch him, etc. I complain, but it is super fun to see him get so excited every day to see where Buddy moved to. I do not do any of the crazy elf antics, but I do move him every night. It's also nice to say "Hey, Buddy's watching..." and see how fast that little boy straightens up
Meagan Married 6.12.10 DS 11.8.12 Baby GIRL! due 7.4.18
— so I have a dilemma! Hopefully some ladies can shed some knowledge with me. my 9mo was born a big kid. Almost ten pounder. During the first couple months we had him sleeping at our bed side in a rock and sleeper thing. He eventually grew out of that rather quickly so we tried to transition him to his crib. We knew it would take some time to get used to but it was a fail from the start, he had a bad startle reflex so when he was in his crib on his back he would startle awake every couple minutes . The swaddle worked wonders, but he had bad acid reflux reason why I never let him sleep in his crib from the beginning but by our bedside and he refused to sleep on his back. He is a side or Tummy sleeper through and through (slept on his side in his rock and sleeper) But I digress, he would constantly move about the crib and roll himself into the bars but couldn’t roll away, he would get his legs caught in between the bars, he liked to sleep horizontally, it was just madness . He’s never been a good sleeper. He’s always been restless and pretty much all over the place when he sleeps. So I decided to start sleeping with him on the spare queen bed we have set up in his room. He sleeps so much better but won’t sleep without me or his dad there!! He still startles awake and if you’re not there to comfort him he will wake up screaming. I know I started this bad “habit” for him but I would like to hear from those who have experience with restless babies and sleeping in cribs especially transitioning from sleeping with Mom. With the new baby coming I don’t want to be waking him up every time I get up in the night .
@rosettesandstripes for me, personally I need my sleep space and my sons a kicker, I couldn't ever sleep with him through the night. Are you trying to transition him back to his crib or are you trying to figure out a way to not wake him in the same bed? Does he nap alone in his crib? I would maybe start with that, put him down almost asleep and see how it goes? As far as him sleeping all over the place and getting his legs stuck, have you tried sleep sacks? They were great for my DS as a blanket and to keep him from getting tangled up in general.
@acunamatada yes I wanna transition him back into his crib now that he’s old enough to move himself around easily so I’m not worried about him getting stuck . But I feel at this point he won’t sleep without someone with him. I’ll try the sleep sack we have one we never used
@rosettesandstripes oh I see, well you never know until you try! It might be difficult, but I noticed my son slept a LOT better when he had his own space after he adjusted. My issue around that age was night weaning, it took a few rough nights but he slept like an angel afterwards. I would maybe start laying him down sleeping in his crib and slowly transition to laying him down more awake so he can learn to self soothe alone. But TBH my DS is 2 now so it's been a while!
I’m so sad to hear how many people are also having guilt, but it’s also a little reassuring for me. Most of my guilt is worrying about time. My oldest was breastfed for 1 year. I’m so happy and proud of that, but it also meant a lot of time sitting to nurse. I’m worried that my oldest is going to feel neglected while I’m constantly nursing. Also, DH typically doesn’t get home until 7-730. I’m sure he’ll make an effort to get off earlier for a little while, but mostly the dinner & bedtime routine will be on me. I’m just not sure how I’ll be able to cook & bathe my daughter if the baby’s hungry. Would love tips or advice from the seasoned mamas out there, but I’m mostly just venting.
The goods news is millions of women have done this before us. I’m just constantly reminding myself that I felt overwhelmed when pregnant the first time, and of course we found our rhythm as a family. I’m sure we’ll all do the same this time around. We got this, mamas!
@acunamatada I’m def going to start doing it starting tomorrow ! 9 months flies fast and I feel that he would sleep better too after he gets adjusted because he wouldn’t have me moving around or waking him unintentionally through the night. I’ll start laying him for naps to start
@rosettesandstripes , how is his napping during the day? I’m not saying this is the case with you, but I know many times night terrors and waking up multiple times panicked can be a result of not enough sleep. And obviously waking up repeatedly just piles onto the already sleep deprived child. He may not be getting the amount of nap time he needs during the day to sleep well at night. Sounds odd I know, you think if they sleep more during the day they’ll be all wound up at night, but that’s not the case most of the time. Just a suggestion, may not apply to you at all.
@tarheelgirl8 I BFd my son too, I think babywearing will be my biggest help. I had a Tula with DS that I could nurse in, I'm going to be looking into something that will work at a smaller age so I can nurse with hands free when I need to.
Back to the original question on if you can feel your uterus more this time around, definitely! Basically I POAS and along with the “yes” came 5lbs of bloat and a volleyball ute. My body was all to eager to remember exactly what to do. Giant eye roll.
@4deep that possibly could be why he’s so restless and can’t settle at night . He’s tossing and turning as we speak. He spends most of his days at his great grandmas (my SO grandma) so I’m not sure how well he sleeps there. I know he naps but I’m unsure of how well he naps . I’ll have to make sure to tell her to make sure he gets good naps
Re: STM+ Check In
Edited because syllables and words are not the same, dumbie.
my Pedi leans towards caution and we got into a therapist- ended up being her ears though.
I don't really feel a lot of stm guilt. My DD and ds are far apart in age (7 years) so it was a different experience than many of you. My DD didn't really have any jealousy as she understood the baby needed my attention more. I just made sure she knew she was still loved and important. I took her on some one on one outings too.
This baby and ds will be 3 years apart, so I know it will be a bit different this time.
BFP 2/2016 M/C 3/2016 @ 5 weeks
Trying for #4 since 11/2015
Does it happen every time you eat? I ended up connecting mine to when I'd eat certain foods.
BFP 2/2016 M/C 3/2016 @ 5 weeks
Trying for #4 since 11/2015
DS 11.8.12
Baby GIRL! due 7.4.18
my 9mo was born a big kid. Almost ten pounder. During the first couple months we had him sleeping at our bed side in a rock and sleeper thing. He eventually grew out of that rather quickly so we tried to transition him to his crib. We knew it would take some time to get used to but it was a fail from the start, he had a bad startle reflex so when he was in his crib on his back he would startle awake every couple minutes . The swaddle worked wonders, but he had bad acid reflux reason why I never let him sleep in his crib from the beginning but by our bedside and he refused to sleep on his back. He is a side or Tummy sleeper through and through (slept on his side in his rock and sleeper) But I digress, he would constantly move about the crib and roll himself into the bars but couldn’t roll away, he would get his legs caught in between the bars, he liked to sleep horizontally, it was just madness . He’s never been a good sleeper. He’s always been restless and pretty much all over the place when he sleeps. So I decided to start sleeping with him on the spare queen bed we have set up in his room. He sleeps so much better but won’t sleep without me or his dad there!! He still startles awake and if you’re not there to comfort him he will wake up screaming. I know I started this bad “habit” for him but I would like to hear from those who have experience with restless babies and sleeping in cribs especially transitioning from sleeping with Mom. With the new baby coming I don’t want to be waking him up every time I get up in the night .
bed? Does he nap alone in his crib? I would maybe start with that, put him down almost asleep and see how it goes? As far as him sleeping all over the place and getting his legs stuck, have you tried sleep sacks? They were great for my DS as a blanket and to keep him from getting tangled up in general.
The goods news is millions of women have done this before us. I’m just constantly reminding myself that I felt overwhelmed when pregnant the first time, and of course we found our rhythm as a family. I’m sure we’ll all do the same this time around. We got this, mamas!