STM+ Check In

emzie54

@paytonpedro totally!  I couldn’t have described what I am experiencing better.  Heightened awareness of my uterus and a real sense of fullness.  The round ligament pain is starting too.

flockofmoosen3

No weird uterus sensations for me or early bumps (3rd kid). No weight gain yet. Eating has gotten significantly harder the past couple of days. I'm finding out that some foods kill my stomach more than others. And sometimes that leads to puking, but it mostly just hurts.

runsomewhere

DD has decided that she will no longer nap during the day. We're going on 3 days, she naps at preschool but not at home. She's been acting foolish today, I think due to being over tired. Normally after a day like this I just want to kick up my feel and crack open some wine with hubs. Now I'm like oh no we're having another one of these and it's going to be forever till I can have wine again

BrittG13

I'm having what I hope is round ligament pain as I swear I didn't have this last time, even at the end. This is my second morning in a row waking up to pee at an ungodly hour. How?! I'm only 8 weeks!

blair_krank

BrittG13 said:

I'm having what I hope is round ligament pain as I swear I didn't have this last time, even at the end. This is my second morning in a row waking up to pee at an ungodly hour. How?! I'm only 8 weeks!

I have been up at 5am to pee the last 3 mornings an unable to go back to sleep. I hope this is not my new life! Especially because once MH is back at work tomorrow I won’t have the napping option I do now

cseley321

I had the urge to pee at 5 am the past 3 nights. That crap didn't start for me last time until well into the 2nd trimester 

stlmegs

Am I the only one that has been waking up 2-3 times every night to go to the bathroom?! Last night I went to bed at 9:30 and slept until 4am and it was the longest stretch of sleep I’ve had in a long time! 

smm1118

I’ve been having to pee in the middle of the night too. I don’t think I did that until at least the second tri with my first pregnancy. I’m only 5 weeks so it is baffling to me!

WorkinWeezel

The urge to constantly have to pee was actually why I tested. I drink a TON of water, but I was peeing more than usual. I'm up at least 2x/night. Ridiculous.

Edit: words 

acunamatada

I've been needing to pee in the middle of the night lately too- soooo annoying! I try and  ignore it but I can't get comfortable

SmashJam

I notice that I have to pee in the middle of the night if I drink water before bed, which I often do in an attempt to get my goal # of ounces in. So it could be related to water intake, but I never had to pee this much drinking lots of water when I wasn't KU!

BrittG13

Love titting in solidarity not because I enjoy yalls discomfort. I know right?! If it's this bad already I don't know what the situation will be by July!

blair_krank

Maybe for next Christmas we’ll all get a full nights sleep

djh513

This past week has been exhausting and trying. All of the exhaustion and sickness really kicked in on Monday, the same day DS came down with double pink eye & a double ear infection. Kept him home on Tuesday & Wednesday, then we had family events Thursday-Saturday and a lot of errands to catch up on today. 

My house is a mess. I want to go to bed as soon as DS does tonight. And I am dreading this coming work week. This pregnancy just seems so... hard this time around.

Sorry everyone. Just feeling a bit down in the dumps today. Exhausted and feeling guilty that I’m just getting through the days with DS instead of really enjoying him right now. 

stlmegs

@djh513 don’t be too hard on yourself! I know the feeling all too well. I feel like I’m on autopilot most days, and just going through motions until I can lay down and sleep. Hang in there!

christycalifornia

@djh513 I think we're all there with you, hon. Solidarity. 

stillcozy

@djh513 hang in there hun you are so so not alone!! 

I'm a raging B today my hormones are out of whack. Im angry and sad and so so overwhelmed. Quite honestly I just feel like a terrible mother all the time.  Im really scared I am not going to be able to be a good mom of two... 

AnnaReid81

I'm so grateful for this thread so I don't feel so alone! I'm exhausted and can't bring myself to play chase with my one year old, which he loves... and he just looks so sad when I'm laying on the couch that it breaks my heart. It makes me feel terrible emotionally on top of feeling like garbage physically:(

djh513

@lindsayleigh1989 @christycalifornia @stlmegs Thanks, ladies. I know it’s not just me and it’s good to be reminded of that. 

I am also nervous about being a mom of 2 - I know you do what you need to do when the time comes but it seems so overwhelming right now. I wish I could just stop worrying about it - no reason to cause extra anxiety right now!!

pumpkinpancake

Can I just echo the posts above about being worried about becoming a mother of two? I know I’ll be giving my son a sibling to be close with, but I’m feeling so guilty that I won’t be able to give him my full attention anymore once the new baby is here. I don’t want him to feel neglected or left out when I’m dealing with a newborn. I know people do it all the time and it’s going to be fine, but thinking about it now is just making me a little sad. 

amylu914

I don't know how I missed this thread last week. Hugs to everyone feeling the STM guilt. 

I'm mostly feeling guilty that the new baby won't have the same attention DS did when he was a newborn. When DS was new, we barely put him down. I got nothing done because I held him through all his naps and played with him while he was awake. I know that won't fly with this baby and he/she will have to be more independent than DS was/is. 

blair_krank

We were hanging out with some friends of ours who have a daughter that is DDs age and just had another baby about a month ago,and when we asked DD if she wanted to be a big sister like her friend she said “ummm, no thanks.”

I ordered some big sister books from amazon about 10 seconds later. 

runsomewhere

blair_krank said:

I ordered some big sister books from amazon about 10 seconds later. 

I want to order some as well, and recommendations?

blair_krank

runsomewhere said:

blair_krank said:

I ordered some big sister books from amazon about 10 seconds later. 

I want to order some as well, and recommendations?

I haven’t received them yet, but I ordered these 2 based on them being the cheapest at the time I ordered. 

I Am a Big Sister https://www.amazon.com/dp/0545688981/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_kxehAbKXXT2YX

A Guide to Being a Big Sister (Olivia TV Tie-in) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1481403737/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_OyehAbJEFWYQN

blair_krank

You will learn that I am not a great researcher. I mostly purchase on a whim. 

christycalifornia

amylu914 said:

I don't know how I missed this thread last week. Hugs to everyone feeling the STM guilt. 

I'm mostly feeling guilty that the new baby won't have the same attention DS did when he was a newborn. When DS was new, we barely put him down. I got nothing done because I held him through all his naps and played with him while he was awake. I know that won't fly with this baby and he/she will have to be more independent than DS was/is. 

All of this. I want to give that kind of attention to the new baby, but know it's not realistic, and start having anxiety about my daughter feeling left out when I do bedtime with the baby and not her, and I think it's a ticket to crazy-town to try and bend space and time to be equal to both kids. This very problem is why birth order personalities exist; we cant' be everything to one kid that we were to the other. Maybe the balance is in not trying to be, but seeing each new phase as a gift unto itself rather than as losing something. I think morning sickness and not eating is getting to me, because I feel like the words in my head are not making sense on the screen. I'm quitting now. 

stlmegs

@christycalifornia your words make perfect sense!  Actually, I have had some anxiety about this and your words really helped!

christycalifornia

@stlmegs Oh, thank goodness! I feel like my brain is oatmeal right now. 

amylu914

So true @christycalifornia I'm trying to think about the positive impact that being more independent will have on babe #2, rather than how different things will be comparef to DS newborn days. 

blair_krank

Instead of thinking about what DD got that the new baby won’t get (my undivided attention), I try to focus what this baby will have instead (parents who kinda knows what they’re doing and an older sibling to show them the ropes).

zg49

I'm right there with you guys on the guilt! I can tell you as a mom of two already, it is harder but it really does work itself out nicely. I was so worried I wouldn't have enough love to share with our 2nd or enough time but instead of making space I found that my heart just grew when our son was born. Our DD was only 20 months when we had our son so she wasn't able to help much but what she could help with made HER feel so special that I didn't have to worry about her feeling neglected. 

This time around my guilt is just stemming from the standard mommy guilt I already have of being a working mom. That alone makes me feel like I don't have enough time to get anything done or spend enough time with my kids and adding a 3rd?? Also my husband and I always said we wanted two because we only have 2 hands, and there are only 2 of us and now we're outnumbered! (Plus we need a bigger house and a bigger vehicle to fit a 3rd baby so that's fun financially...) 

stlmegs

blair_krank said:

Instead of thinking about what DD got that the new baby won’t get (my undivided attention), I try to focus what this baby will have instead (parents who kinda knows what they’re doing and an older sibling to show them the ropes).

This is also really helpful.  While my new LO won't have all my attention, they will have a ton of attention from my 5 year old, who is going to be an AMAZING big brother.

sopranoali

amylu914 said:

I don't know how I missed this thread last week. Hugs to everyone feeling the STM guilt. 

I'm mostly feeling guilty that the new baby won't have the same attention DS did when he was a newborn. When DS was new, we barely put him down. I got nothing done because I held him through all his naps and played with him while he was awake. I know that won't fly with this baby and he/she will have to be more independent than DS was/is. 

Get you an ergo !

WorkinWeezel

Having your second is a bit unsettling bc you're so scared of being able to share your love, time, energy, etc... but trust me, it works out! My kids are super different from one another but still have so much fun. My son was 3 when my daughter was born and it was perfect.

I'm scared to death for many reasons about #3. First, I'm scared of another m/c. Second, I'm scared that I'm too old. Third, I'm scared financially. Fourth, I'm scared bc my life is already nuts running my kids every night of the week. Fifth, I'm afraid how this will affect my son, who will be 8 and struggles so much in school. Sixth, my daughter still wakes up with night terrors and how TF am I supposed to juggle that AND A NEWBORN? Seventh, this ramt has exhausted me. 

Anyway, the worry doesn't change. But we will all be ok.

acunamatada

You guys are making me all sappy with mom guilt! DS has been super clingy and sweet lately, I worry about splitting my time with him, especially because it'll be just me most of the time. He's also not very verbal, I'm hoping to get him an EI referrral at his 2.5 mo appt and I worry if that does work out he'll have a regression when the baby's born. This kid is so opinionated but I can't understand him! 

WorkinWeezel

@acunamatada he will be ok!!!!  I feel like a lot of firsts take more time. Also, you can get him to teach baby words by using his own EI is the best amd works the best at his age!!! Good luck!

And your kids will LOVE each other. And you'll be overwhelmed with how much you love them both.

smm1118

I feel so much better reading that I’m not the only one with this STM guilt. I keep getting all emotional every time I look at DS because I know that our special time of a family of three will be coming to an end. He is also super attached to me and anytime I hold another baby or give anyone my attention he gets really upset. I know this will lessen but it still tugs at the heartstrings! He’s my favorite little guy!

i love what @blair_krank said about focusing on the things this next LO will get and knowing that DS will be a great big brother!

acunamatada

@WorkinWeezel I can't wait to see how he loves his little sibling. He's so wonderful and sweet with our animals and his baby doll, and he loves strangers' babies. 
I can't wait to get him evaluated, I've always known he's had trouble talking but his ped is convinced he'll have a word explosion before 2.5, I don't see that happening. He understands everything and tries to talk sometimes but he cant get it out which is frustrating for everyone 

WorkinWeezel

@acunamatada sending you a PM

rosettesandstripes

I’m a second time mom! My son who will be 9 months (a year in March. Any other moms I can freak out with who will have babies close in age... like 15 months apart