Oh don't mind me and my insecurities that come up every time the wind changes. I am nervous about being a mom but also way more upset and the thought of never being one so that is that.
On the child free thing, I could care less if you don't want kids as it's not for everyone, but I do get annoyed by people who overcompensate by constantly going on about how gross babies are and how much more awesome a life without kids is. I have a friend who posts stuff like that on facebook all the time, even though a couple years ago she had wanted kids herself before changing her mind. Can we just all agree to not be smug and judgey about our life choices? I'll not claim kids are the only way to be happy or fulfilled, you don't call my baby gross or imply he's going to ruin my life, we'll get on fine.
@suchaglencoco I feel the same way about BFing this time. I was really hard on myself with DS, especially because he was slow to gain weight. I want to try to pump and BF through winter break and switch to FF while I’m at work in January. That’s what I did with DS. And then at 10 months, DS refused to latch anymore, so we went to FF until he turned 1. DH has basically said that it’s my body/my choice with BFing and he will support what I choose.
I was lucky in that breastfeeding was pretty easy for me in that DS didn't take long to learn how to latch and he liked to nurse. I hated pumping, but I definitely want to try again with this one. I am afraid I won't be able to with her though and that makes me sad. But to each their own. If you don't want to, don't do it!
Oh don't mind me and my insecurities that come up every time the wind changes. I am nervous about being a mom but also way more upset and the thought of never being one so that is that.
On the child free thing, I could care less if you don't want kids as it's not for everyone, but I do get annoyed by people who overcompensate by constantly going on about how gross babies are and how much more awesome a life without kids is. I have a friend who posts stuff like that on facebook all the time, even though a couple years ago she had wanted kids herself before changing her mind. Can we just all agree to not be smug and judgey about our life choices? I'll not claim kids are the only way to be happy or fulfilled, you don't call my baby gross or imply he's going to ruin my life, we'll get on fine.
While I don't know exactly everything your friend is saying to you and being rude is not appropriate, I do want to offer one perspective. When I was ready to TTC and DH was not I became resentful and to compensate I swung to the other spectrum and gushed about how awesome my life was without kids and commenting on how people we know couldn't experience things because of kids. Perhaps your friend is going through something in her personal life, especially if all of a sudden she changed her mind about having kids. Just a thought.
@mmb4532 I had two friends from high school who were twins and had their first children a couple months apart. One hated breast feeding and thought it was gross so her sister while breast feeding would squirt her with milk. I thought it was hilarious. But I also found the fact that they were twins and did everything together they both felt so differently about a particular activity.
As for nicknames, we tried imposing ZZ for my niece Meckenzie, but my sister wasn't having it. Now that she's older, I call her my booger. She hated it when she was 6ish but now she's almost 9 she'll call and say hi auntie it's your favorite booger.
Afm I hate parents who encourage their children who aren't good at something to continue. Like high school students in chorus who can't carry a note and their parents think they're God's gift to music. Or that 10 year old in the soccer feild who is watching birds fly and doesn't realize the opponent just passed them.
I don't know how unpopular this is, but I get so annoyed at people posting in the ultrasound thread like I'm supposed to care and not participating in anything else. I'm gonna Mariah them...
@mmb4532 My first is two. I never wanted to breastfeed because the whole thought just made me uncomfortable. My husband had some good reasons and wanted me to try. While he’d never make me do it, I appreciated his opinion on the matter and decided to try it. Luckily, my kid was a great latcher and easy to feed. I ended up BFing for 18mo, exclusively until about 10mo when my supply wasn’t keeping up and we had to supplement with formula.
I HATED pumping and want to kill all of the things when I think about having to do it again. My boobs rarely leaked. I had clogged ducts about once a month that were so painful and you have to RUB the painful area which is the worst or you’ll get mastitis. Did I mention I got mastitis?
So yeah, you have good reasons not to want to BF. I can’t believe I did it at all, let alone for that long. I do plan to BF again but I’m not sure I’ll make it that long.
This thread has far too many popular opinions this week. I agree with everything. I’m feeling so warm and fuzzy right now I can’t even think of a UO.
@cups4, I can't wait until anatomy scan time when randoms post their kids genitals to either brag or ask if the TRAINED TECHNICIAN is wrong. It'll be a great time.
The only thing popping to mind but may not exactly be a UO is that "making pregnancy fun for husband" thread was weird to me and felt like we needed to cater to our spouses. People were actually giving answers in it though so I didn't jump in and say that.
I will say in those early days I would nurse my lo to sleep when he was screaming all the time. It was a sure fire way to get him to calm down. But like all parenting decisions, do what works for you. My almost two year old sometimes has lollipops for breakfast, so you do what you have to do to survive
The only thing popping to mind but may not exactly be a UO is that "making pregnancy fun for husband" thread was weird to me and felt like we needed to cater to our spouses. People were actually giving answers in it though so I didn't jump in and say that.
That was the most diplomatic way I could muster to respond to it.
I just decided since I didn't have much nice to say I would just second @cups4!
Not sure how much of an UO this is, but I don't really baby proof much of my house. A few things but more to reduce frustrations. Like we have two doors where we have covers because when we try and put dogs away for a bit my two year old just lets them back out because it's funny. For a couple of months we used a cabinet lock on the cupboard under the sink where DS would chew on the toilet brush. But other than that we just told him no to other places. I hate all the locks on cabinets and drawers. My kid just learned there are some things he couldn't go through. But now that he's older it's nice because he knows how to open things and do them for himself. I mean do what you need to do for your kid, but don't go over board and assume you need it all!
I think we anchored one book shelf for a few months. But then when we reorganized a room the bookshelf moved and we never worried about it. I just think sometimes it helps to learn the hard way. We've had a few bumps and bruises but nothing requiring more than a kiss and a cuddle or an ice pack.
I think we anchored one book shelf for a few months. But then when we reorganized a room the bookshelf moved and we never worried about it. I just think sometimes it helps to learn the hard way. We've had a few bumps and bruises but nothing requiring more than a kiss and a cuddle or an ice pack.
I'm pretty sure if my 50 inch TV falls on them it'll be more than a bump and bruise...
Maybe this a FTM thing and I'm all for letting kids get dirty and whatever and learn lessons but I don't want to risk a lesson that ends in injury/death.
We don't have any furniture in rooms the kids are in that requires anchoring. TV is wall mounted already. I will anchor as it becomes necessary, but it hasn't yet.
I guess how do you anchor a TV? Ours is just on a TV stand. I know some people wall mount them but I hate that. (Don't know why really just aesthetic I guess.)
If anything I'm more worried about my kid throwing a ball at the TV and breaking it and having the pieces cut his toes, but having it mounted won't really stop him from hitting and throwing everything...
I guess how do you anchor a TV? Ours is just on a TV stand. I know some people wall mount them but I hate that. (Don't know why really just aesthetic I guess.)
Meh... We have outlet covers, but that’s about it. I’ll probably invest in more safety things when I have two and still only have two hands, and one set of eyes. We already kept our knives and cleaning supplies on top of the fridge so cabinet locks haven’t been a priority to us. I’ll get anchors for the changing table when we move, just in cases. (Our TV’s are mounted to the wall already)
I don't have a changing table. I hated it so got rid of it. I just use the bathroom floor... might look into the wall strap thing though for when there's two like @ivyvines6 said. I just think the world isn't a bubble. I'm also referring more to an acquaintance I had who literally baby proofed everything in her house to the extreme from day one. Like faucet covers when her baby was six weeks old. Are you really worried your six week old is going to burn her hand when she turns the faucet on by herself at this age??? And cabinet locks and door covers and drawer locks on literally every door and cabinet in her house. Her daughter was in first grade before she started to take them off of things. It was ridiculous.
@theletlers I think taking a practical approach to baby proofing is necessary. I’m pretty hands off with J for a lot of things, but I don’t leave anything to chance that might kill him either.
I don't know how much other people need to anchor, but we just removed what we didn't need. After he started pulling up, the coffee table was replaced by a leather ottoman so we didn't have to worry and tvs were mounted. Once he transitions out of the crib, I'll anchor his dresser and just take out anything else.
Please anchor dressers people. Ours legit fell on my daughter and scared the shit out of me. How likely is it that they open every drawer and then climb it? Irrelevant because it only takes once. And I would lean toward baby proofing early and to excess too. Do you really want to learn they can open a drawer when they already have dangerous thing in their hand?
After the last call to poison control, all our medication is in a lock box. A real lock box for opioids and stuff (we only have over the counter meds, no serious stuff). It’s not worth the worry! We also have stuff anchored and have little latches on the lower kitchen cabinets. You do what you gotta do I guess. My OU is that I find it annoying when parents have no sense of whether or not something is truly dangerous. My SIL was freaking out about her 2.5 year old going down a fischer price slide in our back yard.....
Probably also depends on what kind of furniture and such that each household has. I figure if it takes two adults for us to move pretty much any of the furniture pieces that it's not really feasible for DS to pull it over on himself. We just don't really have a lot of frills as far as furniture or things he could climb up or pull over. He usually just pushes a chair over to whatever is out of his reach. I'd be all for nailing the kitchen chairs to the floor and step stools to the ground
I never thought about anchoring things. My parents didn't and I remember climbing or dressers to get up in to the storage eves. Our stuff didn't tip. But then I read a random blog I found somewhere, maybe pinterest I don't know, the woman lost her daughter at 3 years old to a dresser falling in her while they were sleeping. I of course read the entire blog for a years worth of posts and cried my eyes out. The guilt that mother felt was so hard to even read about. Then this year seeing all the Ikea commercials warning of tipping hazards because of the number of deaths and injuries really scares me.
I agree, we were never big on baby-proofing (as far as outlet covers, gates in front of the stairs, cupboard locks, etc) I think because we had two, so we kept them pretty contained at all times anyway. We bought one of those play yard things with the gate, and kept them in there until they were crawling/walking, then we opened it and used it to "fence off" the living room and just kept them in there most of the time. However, when they started walking and playing independently, and especially after we put them in toddler beds in their bedroom, we anchored pretty much all the furniture to the walls. The stories and blogs and commercials got me scared, too.
I gave up on being nice with the whole "How do I make my pregnancy fun for my husband?" post. It was so ridiculous, I couldn't even believe it was real.
@mmb4532 I'm so glad you feel able to share your feelings about breastfeeding (and that everyone here has been so supportive). It's freaking hard, and is definitely not for all babies and/or mothers. The first few weeks with my girls, the breastfeeding did NOT come easily-we had to use the nipple shields and supplement with formula and had we been able to afford formula for two, I would've more than likely given up. But it truly turned me into a crazy person. I was constantly worried that they weren't latching right, or eating often enough, or a big enough amount, so I literally started carrying around a notebook and had pages for each of them where I would document what time I started trying to feed them, what time they latched, what time they actually started to eat, and when they stopped eating. I also kept track of wet and dirty diapers, and looking back, I can't even believe how crazy I was about it. I blame it on the post partum anxiety. After they finally got the hang of it, it obviously got way easier and I was glad I didn't give up, but I HATED pumping. HATED every single minute of it. It took up so much time, washing the parts is a huge pain in the ass, and to be perfectly honest, it was one of the reasons I waited so long to have another. I had started to think I wanted a third, and then my nephew was born and I saw all the stuff that I remembered hating and was like, "Nope, I'm good with two." Then, of course, I changed my mind. But moral of the story, breastfeeding and pumping is hard and it kinda sucks. There are pros and cons to each, and if you want to skip breastfeeding and use formula- go you. Please do not feel guilty about your choice.
Me, 35 Hubs, 32 Married June 2012 BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013 BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014 BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
I also want to say that we live in an earthquake prone area. When the big earthquake happened out here in 1994, my cousin was almost crushed by her dresser. Even though it’s a pain to do, I feel like if it prevents something terrible from happening, it’s worth it.
Probably also depends on what kind of furniture and such that each household has. I figure if it takes two adults for us to move pretty much any of the furniture pieces that it's not really feasible for DS to pull it over on himself. We just don't really have a lot of frills as far as furniture or things he could climb up or pull over. He usually just pushes a chair over to whatever is out of his reach. I'd be all for nailing the kitchen chairs to the floor and step stools to the ground
The dresser that fell was very heavy all solid wood / Amish.....
@sandbar517 Thank you! Thank you to all the ladies who responded encouragingly. I am so happy that everyone has been so supportive of this choice, because honestly that's what it is. Like many people said, it's not for all mamas/babies. I just know some women are hard core breastfeeders but honestly don't persecute other women for the choices they make. I'm so happy our board is open and accepting of everyone's opinion. Makes me happy that I got pregnant when I did and that I'm a part of May even though I'm really close to June (EDD May 29)
@mmb4532 We usually recommend sage tea for anyone not interested in bf. Sage dries milk up as does compression of the breasts...think a fitted sports bra.
@mileswithmyles It's funny that you mention the princess thing as last night MH was just saying that when dads call their daughters princesses, they're subtly calling themselves a king! Haha, I thought that was funny
Re: UO 11/16
Oh don't mind me and my insecurities that come up every time the wind changes. I am nervous about being a mom but also way more upset and the thought of never being one so that is that.
On the child free thing, I could care less if you don't want kids as it's not for everyone, but I do get annoyed by people who overcompensate by constantly going on about how gross babies are and how much more awesome a life without kids is. I have a friend who posts stuff like that on facebook all the time, even though a couple years ago she had wanted kids herself before changing her mind. Can we just all agree to not be smug and judgey about our life choices? I'll not claim kids are the only way to be happy or fulfilled, you don't call my baby gross or imply he's going to ruin my life, we'll get on fine.
But seriously, some parts of that early BFing journey were worse than unmedicated labor.
As for nicknames, we tried imposing ZZ for my niece Meckenzie, but my sister wasn't having it. Now that she's older, I call her my booger. She hated it when she was 6ish but now she's almost 9 she'll call and say hi auntie it's your favorite booger.
Afm I hate parents who encourage their children who aren't good at something to continue. Like high school students in chorus who can't carry a note and their parents think they're God's gift to music. Or that 10 year old in the soccer feild who is watching birds fly and doesn't realize the opponent just passed them.
I HATED pumping and want to kill all of the things when I think about having to do it again. My boobs rarely leaked. I had clogged ducts about once a month that were so painful and you have to RUB the painful area which is the worst or you’ll get mastitis. Did I mention I got mastitis?
So yeah, you have good reasons not to want to BF. I can’t believe I did it at all, let alone for that long. I do plan to BF again but I’m not sure I’ll make it that long.
This thread has far too many popular opinions this week. I agree with everything. I’m feeling so warm and fuzzy right now I can’t even think of a UO.
The only thing popping to mind but may not exactly be a UO is that "making pregnancy fun for husband" thread was weird to me and felt like we needed to cater to our spouses. People were actually giving answers in it though so I didn't jump in and say that.
https://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/breastfeeding-benefits-how-they-add-up
I will say in those early days I would nurse my lo to sleep when he was screaming all the time. It was a sure fire way to get him to calm down. But like all parenting decisions, do what works for you. My almost two year old sometimes has lollipops for breakfast, so you do what you have to do to survive
Not sure how much of an UO this is, but I don't really baby proof much of my house. A few things but more to reduce frustrations. Like we have two doors where we have covers because when we try and put dogs away for a bit my two year old just lets them back out because it's funny. For a couple of months we used a cabinet lock on the cupboard under the sink where DS would chew on the toilet brush. But other than that we just told him no to other places. I hate all the locks on cabinets and drawers. My kid just learned there are some things he couldn't go through. But now that he's older it's nice because he knows how to open things and do them for himself. I mean do what you need to do for your kid, but don't go over board and assume you need it all!
Maybe this a FTM thing and I'm all for letting kids get dirty and whatever and learn lessons but I don't want to risk a lesson that ends in injury/death.
I'm also referring more to an acquaintance I had who literally baby proofed everything in her house to the extreme from day one. Like faucet covers when her baby was six weeks old. Are you really worried your six week old is going to burn her hand when she turns the faucet on by herself at this age??? And cabinet locks and door covers and drawer locks on literally every door and cabinet in her house. Her daughter was in first grade before she started to take them off of things. It was ridiculous.
We also have stuff anchored and have little latches on the lower kitchen cabinets. You do what you gotta do I guess. My OU is that I find it annoying when parents have no sense of whether or not something is truly dangerous. My SIL was freaking out about her 2.5 year old going down a fischer price slide in our back yard.....
I gave up on being nice with the whole "How do I make my pregnancy fun for my husband?" post. It was so ridiculous, I couldn't even believe it was real.
@mmb4532 I'm so glad you feel able to share your feelings about breastfeeding (and that everyone here has been so supportive). It's freaking hard, and is definitely not for all babies and/or mothers. The first few weeks with my girls, the breastfeeding did NOT come easily-we had to use the nipple shields and supplement with formula and had we been able to afford formula for two, I would've more than likely given up. But it truly turned me into a crazy person. I was constantly worried that they weren't latching right, or eating often enough, or a big enough amount, so I literally started carrying around a notebook and had pages for each of them where I would document what time I started trying to feed them, what time they latched, what time they actually started to eat, and when they stopped eating. I also kept track of wet and dirty diapers, and looking back, I can't even believe how crazy I was about it. I blame it on the post partum anxiety. After they finally got the hang of it, it obviously got way easier and I was glad I didn't give up, but I HATED pumping. HATED every single minute of it. It took up so much time, washing the parts is a huge pain in the ass, and to be perfectly honest, it was one of the reasons I waited so long to have another. I had started to think I wanted a third, and then my nephew was born and I saw all the stuff that I remembered hating and was like, "Nope, I'm good with two." Then, of course, I changed my mind. But moral of the story, breastfeeding and pumping is hard and it kinda sucks. There are pros and cons to each, and if you want to skip breastfeeding and use formula- go you. Please do not feel guilty about your choice.
Married June 2012
BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
BFP Oct 2013- twins! A&H born May 2014
BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17
The dresser that fell was very heavy all solid wood / Amish.....
@mileswithmyles It's funny that you mention the princess thing as last night MH was just saying that when dads call their daughters princesses, they're subtly calling themselves a king! Haha, I thought that was funny