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July 2018 Moms
stillcozy
member
Mental Health Support
stillcozy
member
Pre-exisiting, new symptoms, all are welcome here with mental health struggles and concerns. Please note: Talking about mental health is not easy for everyone and this is a judgement free zone.
April Siggy Challenge Social Distancing
Re: Mental Health Support
My first pregnancy is totally different from this one. Previously, I threw up daily, was utterly miserable and exhausted my entire pregnancy. The glow never happened, and I felt like a very angry batch of strawberry jello. I was often depressed. My son went past his due date and I started experiencing suicidal thoughts. My doctor induced me, and thirty two hours later I was holding my son. Hormones and emotions were so difficult, but I was lucky enough that my love for him trumped all of it. Not everyone feels love for the baby; I'll be eternally grateful I was.
It took about 10 weeks to normalize. Morale of the story: talk. As hard as it is, talk.
This pregnancy so far as been NOTHING like the first (and knock on wood, I kinda feel the glow).
Thank you all for listening (reading lol) I hope we all find some peace with our worries and continue on to a healthy 9 months and PP!
So far this pregnancy I am struggling with huge anxiety over my weight and health. My body never fully recovered from last pregnancy and I am terrified of being bed ridden from the pain. I never lost the pregnancy weight from last time, my ab and core muscles never regained their strength (my fault), and my hips/pelvis/lower back are in constant agony at all times. It is hard not to get depressed and feel hopeless and anxious over it.
Im pretty sure in retrospect that I had PPD after my first and never treated it. I also really struggled with breastfeeding and just in general. I think that I’ve just been able to manage so far. And looking back at my childhood and stuff, I’ve definitely had some anxious tendencies and habits.
My anxiety definitely feels in hyperdrive right now, I’m guessing from hormones.
Im kind of sick of feeling stressed an anxious all the time and I’m grateful that the stigma around mental health is changing and that I feel less ashamed to get help. I’m going to address my anxiety issues with my OB to start with I think, and I think I’m ready to finally attack this beast head on whenever this pregnancy is over.
I didn't realize I had PPD until things came to a head with DH. He told me he didn't know who I was anymore and that his wife was gone. We were having some financial issues and at the time I felt like my family would be better off without me both financially since they would have my insurance money and so that they didn't have to deal with me and my issues anymore. I felt like I was making my husband miserable. I felt like I didn't have the typical symptoms. I didn't feel disconnected from my DD but I definitely lost who I was. It was extremely difficult for DH to understand that I could be both happy about my family and being a mother but so lost and depressed at the same time. I'm hoping this time since I recognize how I was feeling I can prevent it.
Edit spelling
I've dealt with a generalized anxiety disorder and major, high-functioning depression for over 10 years. Through the my pregnancy with my son, each trimester got progressively worse because of my depression. I was terrified to get in a car every day because it was just constant thoughts of wanting to swerve into the guard rail. I've always had an issue with accepting help, or allowing people to see me as anything other than happy and put together, so I made the horrible mistake of once again not actively trying to take care of it. After my son was born I slipped easily into my "normal" self, but then 6 weeks hit. I would look at my son and know that I loved him, but was also completely detached from him, it felt so strange. Finally my husband called me out on zoning out constantly and just being blank, and I realized my depression wasn't just affecting me anymore and that my son needed me to be PRESENT. My doctor had me fill out the depression screening and for once I was honest on it. Although I had felt it was a good week for me, she informed me that she'd have sent most people to the hospital for observation. That's when I finally broke down and accepted medication.
I stopped taking it a year ago and I've been... idk, reclusive but coping better than before. I'm just so terrified of another pregnancy like before. The apathy has already increased and I feel like I've already taken to being hands off with my son, which I really diske. I'm going to try and find a counselor or therapist I actually like soon before it gets too exacerbated.
I have always been an advocate for talking about my depression and anxiety with those around me. I talk to every pregnant person I meet about PPD and PPA and how “blues” is an awful term to go by. I think in a post yesterday on here people may of assumed I am heartless against depression. But the truth is that I have a lot of online friends that I love but they are not the cure. I did advise a user to look to her real life friends and doctor because obviously that is more helpful then anything.
I am completely the person who will willingly talk about it but be too afraid to accept medication. So right now I’m not on anything. But I am planning on starting counselling in january to help with some of the really unnecessary anxiety I have put on myself.
If anyone wants to PM me I am more then happy to talk to you more. But again online is online, and frankly, easy to post anonymously. I encourage everyone here to talk to real life people about it. Because if there are a ton of strangers online willing to listen, you can bet there’s someone in your life who will understand. ❤️
I am hoping this time it will be an easier adjustment since I am used to being home and I still have my job (just from home). If it's not better, I am definitely going to try and seek help this time. I feel like I missed out on really enjoying the first year because I just felt awful and guilty.
I was diagnosed with depression in high school. Was on antidepressants up until I was 19; decided I was "okay" and stopped on my own. Shortly afterwards, I was diagnosed with Papillary Thyroid Cancer stage II (another story in itself). I went through surgery, radiation, etc. Still didn't go back on antidepressants, even though looking back, I should have. When I was about 24, I decided to see a psychiatrist because the manic highs and lows were just too much. I was then diagnosed with bipolar II, hyper sensitivity, social anxiety, and depression. I've been on a great "cocktail" for 5 years now (takes a few times to get it right). Now that I'm ku, I'm concerned with how all of this will play into the pregnancy. All practitioners involved are aware and are working together. I've only been told to stop 1 of my 3 meds for now. I will know more on the 6th. Taking it day by day.
I've struggled with both since age 12, and had pretty bad PPD and PPA after DD was born. Finally saw a therapist when she was around 7 months old, still going every few weeks to check in. DH goes with me now which is nice. But I want so badly to be better and not have to go see the therapist that I downplay things and pretend to be ok.
Feeling anxious about our decision to have another baby, feeling like I won't be a good mom to both, and worrying about how I'm going to handle DD as she gets closer to 3 and more and more difficult.
employing healthy and helpful coping skills as needed to help avoid, delay or partner with medication if need be.
@squeezebean I am having the exact same worries as you.
I am also really anxious I will lose my "station" or importance tommy husband to behind two kids. I know that sounds ridiculous and selfish but its hard to feel pushed aside in some ways to your children. dont get me wrong I adore my daughter with everything in me. It is just hard to feel as though my place ti my husband lessens with each child. he says she just has more needs so she needs more of his time, energy attention but I still need those too... ugh sorry tired nauseus anxious rant
I too struggle with depression and anxiety and have since I was in high school. I actually had to change my meds before TTC, and that has been a terrible struggle. I was on Pristiq, which worked for me pretty well, but there are next to no studies around the effects on fertility, pregnancy, etc. Three drs wouldn’t even consider make a change due to liability. (Shouldn’t they worry about the liability of the effects on the baby?!) Finally got someone to understand and work with me, and she switched me to Zoloft (the generic). We got the dosage right but it still isn’t doing what Pristiq (not the generic!!) did. We’re just eeking by. It’s been rough - knowing my depression shows as anger and a short fuse and not being as “in control” as I’m used to.
Holding good thoughts for all of you who are experiencing these uncontrollable symptoms during a challenging time.
I was hoping you mamas might share some insight as to how you went about finding a therapist or counselor. I eventually got to the point where I gave up because I just couldn't find one I connected with, but I really need to change that situation and am overwhelmed by the thought of starting it all again.
Its so sad how frustrating and long it can take to fine someone one - sometimes even a month out!
also it can help to remember it isnt the baby causing the sickness but rather your hormones and body working overtime to do the prep work once the placenta takes over everything tends to get a whole lot better
if you need help sleeping and with th nausea try Unisom and B6 both are pregnancy safe and can help a lot. hang in there and know we are all here for you
I need advice about work. I recently started as a 1 to 1 para in a behavior support school. Long story short, Occasionally the student I work with gets physical, he throws things, jumps on furniture and runs out of the building. I know as my pregnancy progresses it will get harder for me to handle him. Also he is old enough and smart enough to know that when I'm farther along it will be easier to "get my goat" so to speak, that he can out run me, or that I won't be able to wrestle items away from him. So now I'm concerned about being able perform my job duties. Apart from handling the morning sickness and complete exhaustion.
Additionally it is hard for me to be around these kids now that I have such thin skin. I try not to get upset about what they say, I've been called things and told to go do things that I can only assume they heard from porn its so disgusting. But when my kid is escalating and the other kids are saying this dumb bitch can't do her job it hurts.
My husband thinks I should quit, take some time off to get myself together ( meds straight, get support system set up and such) and start substituting in Jan. It just feels like another failure to me, like I don't have the mental strength that other moms have and that I just can't hack it. We are very lucky in that we can afford it, with the help of our savings, for me to do this. But I also have weird feelings about it because its only with the help of the settlement of my dad's estate that this is possible and I just hate the idea of having the money because he is gone but I know he worked so hard to give me this advantage in life.
I just feel like life is crushing me right now. Any advice would help, thanks in advance.
If they can't reassign you, don't feel bad for a second about leaving. And then if you still wanted a para job I'm sure there are many others out there that are a better fit right now. Every school needs para support!
You deserve to enjoy this pregnancy!! Hugs!
@d_marie_23 I found my therapist using the Psychology Today therapist finder, and I ADORE her. She's like a second mom to me now and helped carry me through infertility. They have filters that you can use to find the therapist that's right for you in your location. You can filter by specialty, methods used, gender, disorders treated. It's great.
@Katek819 I'm also on Team Tell Your Supervisor. If accommodations can't be made for you, you need to do what is right for you and for your baby. And I'm pretty sure that your dad would be 100% on board with you using your inheritance to take some time to focus on your health and the health of your baby - what dad wouldn't?
I didnt know that there were medications that were safe during pregnancy. It makes sense when I think about it, but I never have been able to think about getting help until now so I’m eager for my first appointment to ask my OB about my feelings and things.
on a happier note my first ultrasound is Friday!
I know this must be rough, and I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. I am sure you will find the right resolution and come through. Just hang in there for a minute!