Mental Health Support

zg49

I’ve been having anxiety for quite a few years but the past 5 months have been at an all time high so I actually went in and got started on meds...and then found out I was pregnant 3 days later. I have since stopped taking them per my dr recommendation. 

The hardest thing I'm noticing is, it’s not my general anxiety that is heightened, it’s my phobia. I have emetophobia, intense fear of vomiting or others vomiting near me. It is really affecting my parenting of my two kids and sending me into a spin worrying about morning sickness with this pregnancy. Plus we all just got over a stomach bug. 

Im not sure what to do at this point about it. Talking about it makes me feel a bit better but I just want it all to go away! 

bearmomma1

Not sure if this is the right post for this, but I’ve been having a really hard time with the not drinking alcohol. I know they say once you become pregnant you won’t miss it a bit! But that’s not the case for me. It was such a part of my life, socially and with family and husband. Cocktails before dinner, wine with dinner, weekend beer and wine tasting, etc. I never really thought I had a problem until now I get so jealous of everyone that can still drink. And I know it’s unreasonable to ask my husband to abstain from drinking my whole pregnancy, but I’ve already asked him for a few days a week to not drink and we’ve had a few arguments about it.

and I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol itself that I’m missing so much but the missing out part. Like just being left behind or something.

I have social anxiety and panic attacks now and then, and take meds only when needed to calm down a major attack. Otherwise it’s usually alcohol that would get me through a social situation so maybe I feel like I’m missing that crutch too. 

I dunno. Just wanted to talk it out I guess. Thanks for listening

stillziggysmom

@rachelsogo You're totally not alone on this. I am far from having a drinking issue, but it is definitely a big part of my life. I always have a glass of wine while I cook dinner (well, before pregnancy), we go to wine tastings, meaderies and breweries, and love exploring new craft beers. There really is a kind of culture behind it, and it totally sucks to not be a part of it anymore, especially when it's your go to for bonding time like it is in our household. 

Totally hear you with the social anxiety, too. I will talk about the weather and nothing else because conversing absolutely petrifies me and I clam up to where that's literally the only topic I can remember a shred of information about. Having a drink helps me loosen up a bit and speak at least a little more freely. If I'm honest, there is an annual Christmas party at our freinds' this weekend and I'm not entirely sure if I'll make it because I honestly don't know if I can handle having to talk to people without some sort of "liquid courage." 

stillcozy

@rachelsogo you are definitely not alone it is definitely a struggle because in many ways for some it is a lifestyle change and that is never easy particularly when you continue to be around others who dont have to deal with it

bearmomma1

@d_marie_23 There definitely is a culture behind the craft beers! I live in Northern California and there are so many good breweries around here. thank you for sharing.  

Katek819

I can relate. I’m a social drinker n it helps knock down my anxiety. I find myself wishing that if i just had known i was gonna get pregnant when i did i could have had a last hurrah so to speak. 
Even dumber is that my sister and her husband host an epic beer pong tournament in February. It’s one of the only nights out of the year i let myself go. We get way into it, team names, costumes cash prize and a trophy. Gonna miss out this year. I’ll still be invited and they have bent the rules for preggos in the past but being around wasted people sober is no fun. I feel so stupid for thinking this because I’m growing my child and that should make me not care but i do. Guess I’ll suck it up and be the DD. 

wildtot

I think this fits this thread but with my son it took me a long time to connect after birth and I’m starting to worry it will be worse with #2. To this day sometimes I act pretty hands off because i need my space to be sane. Don’t get me wrong DS is my world but it took months to feel connected. Idk if it was also due to my ppd. 

stillcozy

@wildtot hugs totally feel you and I have the same type of moments. I think try to remember you are a great mom and great moms still struggle but we figure it out and our kids are just fine also needing to be hands off to have a breather when you get overwhelmed  I believe is both natural snd healthy. it gives you a break to check-in with yourself and regulate

BrittG13

@wildtot I know girl. I know. Women are conditioned by the media, other women even our moms "you just wait, you'll see when you have kids" or "your whole world changes in an instant" "you don't know love till you have your children" etc...and that's true...EVENTUALLY. I wish someone had told me it would take time. Yes I cried when my son was born, yes I loved him instantly and there was for sure a feral/primal I will do everything I can to keep him alive thing happening but I didn't know him. I didn't know his cries, what he liked, what he didn't like. That's not instant. Babies are little humans and just like any relationship, it takes time. We really bonded around 4 months old when he smiled at me (not a gassy smile) but was reacting to something I did. It took off from there and has multiplied daily. He's 3 now and my God, the love is indeed overwhelming...just be patient. It will come.