TTCAL Week of 11/6

honeybeebub · November 2017

I seem to be a Monday early bird, so will start this thread

1. Introduce yourself (if new)
2. Status?
3. Rants/Raves:
4. GTKY: What is your favorite beauty product?

leahcimmichael · November 2017

1. I’m Leah. Not new. TTC since 8/2016. NMC 11/2016. CP 7/2017
2. WTO. CD 10
3. HSG scheduled for Wednesday. Feeling pretty calm about TTC right now for some reason. I’m not gonna question it, just gonna enjoy it while it lasts!
4. I don’t usually wear any make-up except eyeliner. I have a trusty MAC angled brush that I use to apply it. I’ve been using this style of brush to apply eyeliner since I was 15! So, yea. That brush is definitely my favorite beauty product!

honeybeebub · November 2017

1. Not new.
2. CD12, usually O around CD17, but am getting good OPK progression so hoping for an early O.
3. Rant: *TW* Anyone watch The Good Doctor? I'm way behind on episodes and watched last night. The episode was about a woman with antiphospholipid syndrome (something they thought I had and spent months working through bloodwork) pregnant with 3 prior miscarriages. She said that she would rather die than go through losing that baby. Ugh my heart sank for her. DH asked if we needed to turn it off, but I'm glad things like this are coming through on shows to raise awareness *End TW*
Rave: I deep cleaned half of the house this weekend. Anyone else find comfort and peace in a clean space? Maybe I love it so much because it's something I can control in all of this. And I feel like I'm actually getting decent at brush lettering/modern calligraphy, something I've been practicing. Maybe if I figure out how to add a picture, I can add it here. Feeling like I'm 80 with technology, haha.
4. I swear by Argan Oil. I use it in my hair and on my face as a moisturizer. It's not heavy or sticky at all and leaves everything super smooth.

leahcimmichael · November 2017

@honeybeebub I so agree about seeing portrayals of pregnancy loss in tv and movies! It’s hard to see because it strikes a chord, but at the same time it helps to normalize such an isolating event. I just binge watched Gilmore Girls and there were so many unplanned pregnancies. I was thinking how nice it would be if they could portray a miscarriage on the show as well because of how common they are.

vlagrl29 · November 2017

Not new - WTO - I'm not tracking days or O for the rest of the year and it feels fabulous! This is my happy place.

Rave - DH got tickets for a VIP event on Saturday from a friend of his. It was totally for rich people lol. It was at the football stadium event room and it was a charity for kids so there was bidding. We got dinner and desert. It just felt so great to have an awesome night out with him plus I got to wear one of my sparkly dresses and I just had to secretly think damn I look awesome. lol

I like to wear light foundation which can be hard to find. I don't like to feel I'm wearing a cake on my face

I like the clinic liquid foundation called super balanced. I also like Too Faced eye shadows as well as Urban Decay.

@leahcimmichael - GL on your HSG - it's a piece of cake. I'm also feeling really calm as well and I love it. I was putting more pressure on us again and causing myself meltdowns. I just do better when I don't go OCD with this process. Plus my focus right now is on the plan I have with a newer doctor. Taking supplements to level out the things I am low on. IDK that just feels pretty awesome - knowing I'm getting even healthier.

@honeybeebub - I love a clean space. I deep cleaned the bottom level of our house a couple weeks ago but you can't really tell cause well kids have a way of messing it up

tosh24 · November 2017

Not new. MC (D&C) 11/2016 @ 9w1d; NMC 7/2017 @ ~6w

WTO but abstaining this cycle because I got a call from my RE's office to tell me that I can call in for IVF on my Day 1 anytime after Nov 6!!!!!! I'm not 100% sure this means I have a confirmed spot or if this means that I can call in and if they have a spot I can have it (and if not I will be bumped until the next month) so I am waiting for confirmation on that, but....this could be it!!!! I have my hysteroscopy and endometrial biopsy this afternoon.

I have a migraine. For like the 3rd day in a row. That is all.

I wear zero makeup except when I go out somewhere nice maybe a handful of times a year. I do love my MAC concealer though and use that on a regular basis. Works amazing to cover up random blemishes and those tired bags under my eyes....

I'm going crazy at work right now trying to finish up my To-Do list for the day before my hysteroscopy so I will have to catch up with everyone later!

ELeighMay · November 2017

Not New

I'm at CD7...again...of cycle 23

Rant: I'm emotionally exhausted lately and trying to find ways to drag myself out of my funk. The holidays are all coming, which I dread so that isn't helping.

Rave: We currently have two deer in our freezer and have two tags yet to fill. I'm stoked. That's hundreds of dollars in savings for us, which is a really big deal. It's extremely cold here and Saturday was a mini blizzard which made the opening rifle hunting day hard to endure, but it paid off and the snow is beautiful.

My makeup bag can be replaced for about $6, I use eyeliner, mascara, and chapstick. I do use Oil of Olay on my face and absolutely love it. I use eye shadow and lip gloss on rare occasions, but I do like the Bare Minerals brand.

Mack2342 · November 2017

1. Introduce yourself (if new). Not new....MC Aug 2016 and March 2017

2. Status? 3 DPO

3. Rants/Raves: nice weekend with the family. My 17 year old cat seems to be struggling this past week she stopped sleeping with us and sits in front of her food dish mainly. She will curl up there and sleep. Occasionally I find her sleeping in the hallway. I’m thinking it’s getting close to the end which makes me sad. I’ve had her all but one year. However I don’t want her to suffer or be in pain. Hoping to get her to the vet.

4. GTKY: What is your favorite beauty product? I wear like zero makeup unless we are going out or doing something on wkd. However my favorite hair products are Aveda

jchpg · November 2017

Not new.

CD10.. I'm obsessing waiting for my EWCM to start... should be soon but I won't O for another 6-7 days if everything stays normal.

Rave: I'm so excited for the fall. It actually is cold and feels like the fall now. Just a few more weeks until Thaksgiving!

Rant: I had my regular appointment with my gasteroenterologist.... this lady drives me crazy- it's like we just chit chat at all my check up appointments... she asks about things like we're friends having coffee- I'm pretty sure she is clocking time and charging me by the minute. Next time I think I'll just say- take my blood, give me my new prescription and don't waste my time and money.

My my hair straightener! Serusoly Id give up everything else if I had to make a choice.

Kath525 · November 2017

@leahcimmichael GL on HCG!
@tosh24 yay!!! That's great news!!!
@Mack2342 I hope your cat is okay and just going through a phase. So hard when they get older and sick!

AFM

1. Less new. 3rd cycle here. Ttc since 1/17. CP 3/17. NMC 9/17.
2. WTO CD 3.
3. Rave 1: DH and I are headed to San Diego on Wednesday for 5 days!! He has a work conference and I'm tagging along. TW children mentioned** Our kiddos are staying with my SIL so this is a kid free vacation! End TW*** It's very very needed after a rough year. Really looking forward to the time reconnecting!
Rave 2: I got an awesome deal at target today for a Christmas present! I love a good deal!!!
4. Not really a make up person (mascara and eyeliner if we're going out but that's it). So vanilla chapstick!

ELeighMay · November 2017

@tosh24 That is AWESOME news!!! I hope that you're able to get in this cycle. That's so exciting.

vlagrl29 Those rare opportunities to get dolled up are so fun. It sounds like you had a fun evening.

jchpg I understand wanting to be friendly with your patients, but I agree. My OB seems to be the one exception to this rule but generally I'm thinking that I have no intention of exchanging numbers and hanging out with you anytime soon so let's keep our pleasantries to the weather and let's move this along.

Mack2342 I'm sorry about your cat. I hope this isn't the end for her.

Kath525 A weekend away sounds amazing. I swear I haven't had one day with just DH and I in so long I forget what that's like. He is a total workaholic and I generally share most of our days off with him having to run to a job somewhere. Have fun, San Diego sounds amazing and partially on someone else's dime is even better!

zamoraspin · November 2017

@leahcimmichael Good luck at the HSG. I'm sure you've gotten lots of good advice already, I recommend taking some ibuprofen before hand but for me the cramping was not bad. Also I found the liquid was very sticky so make sure to use a pantyliner afterwwards!
@tosh24 That is exciting re IVF! Hopefully that means you will be able to get started before the end of the year!

1. Introduce yourself (if new) So, I've been by before but I usually have trouble keeping up here and TTGP. I am 35, DH is 34, no living children. I have had three losses this year: a blighted ovum confirmed at about 8w in June, CP in August, and most recently this past week, idk what the dx is, we thought we saw a tiny sac but nothing in it at around 6w. We knew something was wrong a few days before that because my hCG had started going down.
2. Status? Benched.
3. Rants/Raves: I know there are other RPL ladies here, technically my RE considered me RPL after the second loss and we did all of the RPL testing, but now I feel like this is all very solidified and I am finding myself trying to figure out what is next for us after another frustrating and heartbreaking loss. We did a d&c on Friday to try to test products of conception. My RE thinks we are ending up with genetically unhealthy embryos, thus the early losses. If this is the case the two options are to either keep trying on our own and just see if we eventually get a good embryo, or to try IVF with PGS testing. If it turns out this embryo was genetically normal she says we would try adding heparin in subsequent pregnancies to try to suppress my immune system (already on baby aspirin and I used progesterone suppositories for the first time during this pregnancy).
4. GTKY: What is your favorite beauty product? I love Ciate's eyeliner, it's like a pen and works great.

pumpkinpancake · November 2017

1. Introduce yourself (if new) not new. Been here since July/August

2. Status? TWW, 5dpo

3. Rants/Raves: I really don’t want to let myself, but I’m feeling hopeful and optimistic about this month. So far, my temps have been the most consistent they’ve been in the past three months, and I’m just really hoping this is our month. Also, my mom and sister are coming to visit this week, so I’m really excited to see them!

4. GTKY: What is your favorite beauty product? Um, does chapstick count?

I don’t really wear makeup at all, so I don’t have a favorite.

@leahcimmichael GL with your HSG!

@honeybeebub hopefully your OPKs are right and you’ll O earlier this month!

@vlagrl29 that sounds like so much fun! It’s been so long since DH and I have done anything like that just the two of us, so it must have been nice to have a night like that.

@tosh24 yay! That’s awesome! Hopefully that means you’ll get in this month!!

@ELeighMay sorry you’re emotionally exhausted. I know it’s tough with the holidays coming up, so don’t feel guilty about taking some time for yourself if you need it.

@Mack2342 hopefully your cat is ok. A few years ago, my family cat that I had grown up with got sick and it was really rough. Hugs.

@jchpg haha I hear you on obsessing over types of CM. Also, its so nice and fall-like here too, and I’m loving it!

@Kath525 have a great time in San Diego!

amberruka · November 2017

@tosh24 good luck with your IVF!!!
@zamora_spin nice to see you here again. Well, it sucks to still be here but you know what I mean.
@Mack2342 I'm sorry about your kitty, I hope the vet can help.

1. Not new.
2. No BD this FW due to family emergency (discussed last week's thread so I won't bore you).
3. Just got back from working in Chicago for the weekend. Even though I was mostly cooped up inside, we finished a little early on Sunday and I got to go up the Sears Tower and end the day with some Lou Malnati's pizza-excellent. In my hotel room this weekend I noticed brushing my teeth there are 2 symmetrical nodes around my thyroid I didn't notice before (when I swallow), yet I can't actually feel them with my hands. Weird. Have establishment visit with my new primary in 2 weeks so I'm thinking an ultrasound may be in order. It's still enlarged overall (to be expected as per my last endocrinologist) but my T3 T4 TSH have all been normal over the last year with with continuing to take PTU.
4. Aveeno moisturizer (with sunscreen!) and pressed powder are about as fancy as I get!

Have a wonderful week everyone

vlagrl29 · November 2017

@amberruka hope all is ok with your thyroid. My OB tested mine last month only tsh and it was fine but my new doc tested my t3 and t4 both were a little low but tsh was fine. Kinda weird.

cassafrass15 · November 2017

1. Not new.
2. TWW, 9dpo
3. Rant: my mood swings have been EPIC this cycle; Rave: DH and I are headed to Sedona this weekend to celebrate our anniversary. It's going to be so nice to hike, relax and reconnect.
4. GTKY: Am I apparently the only makeup lover here. I don't cake it on, but I looove beauty products. I especially love Smashbox BB cream and my Urban Decay Naked eyeshadow palettes.

@leahcimmichael FX your HSG was as quick and painless as mine was! I didn't even cramp, but the dye was super slimy and gross on the way down.

@tosh24 I'm sending positive vibes your way - hoping this means you're IN!

@jchpg Every month I shock myself with how much I obsess over my CM.

@Mack2342 I hope your kitty is ok!!!

zamoraspin · November 2017

@amberruka Thanks, I usually just lurk you all over here and root for you in the background.

honeybeebub · November 2017

Ugh busy day yesterday at work, so catching up.

@leachcimmichael: How did your HSG go? Hopefully results will be shared quickly!

@tosh24 That is awesome news! When is your AF due so you can call?

@mack2342 Sorry about your cat Were you able to bring her to the vet?

@jchpg Same here with the cold weather. Although I stepped out and thought, maybe I wasn’t ready for this?!

@kath525 Enjoy the warm weather and reconnecting as a couple!

@zamora_spin Sorry for your loss. How long will it take to get the results back?

@pumpkinpancake I don’t know why but I’m also feeling optimistic this month. Probably just because I’m finally off the bench.

@amberruka Hope all is OK with your thyroid. Better to have it checked!

@cassafrass15 Enjoy the weekend and happy anniversary! How many years is this?

zamoraspin · November 2017

@honeybeebub Our RE said it would be about two weeks, so I'm expecting results next Friday. Definitely counting down the days, somewhat with dread. I think the worst result would be if they couldn't find enough to test.

honeybeebub · November 2017

@zamora_spin Hoping the two week wait goes by quickly. I can imagine that it's hard, but hopefully the results will give you some guidance. I often wish we would have testing done with our first loss. My doctor said it was unlikely we would need it since we were both healthy and was probably just a fluke. Gosh, I wish I had a crystal ball, because the tables sure turned when I went on to have two more (chemical) without the option to test.

dpjennifer · November 2017

2. Status? WTO CD 13. Hopefully last cycle benched.

3. Rants/Raves: My anniversary is today and since Friday is a holiday it's a short week!

4. GTKY: What is your favorite beauty product? Not sure, I'm pretty much a minimalist. But I do love glittery eye shadow!

honeybeebub I’ve been watching the Good Doctor. That was a rough episode to watch! And I also find an organized place to be calming for my stress levels, especially when I’m having a rough TTCAL time. Like you said, it’s one of the only things I can control.

ELeighMay I’m dreading the holidays as well. Yay for the deer in the freezer though!

Mack2342 Sorry about your cat.

zamora_spin Sorry for another loss. It’s so hard to be RPL with no living children, especially when they have no idea what’s causing it. I’m here if you need to talk. It’s a rough position to be in, and there aren’t many that understand.

cassafrass15 Have a great anniversary!

tosh24 · November 2017

@leahcimmichael Hope your HSG goes well tomorrow! I've had an SHG and a hysteroscopy and neither were terrible so I feel like an HSG is probably similar.

@honeybeebub I rage clean all the time when I'm irritable or angry. It's the best therapy AND my house is clean at the end so I feel extra relaxed!

@vlagrl29 Always fun to get dressed up and go out with DH. Glad you had a good time!

@ELeighMay Holidays are extra hard with losses. I feel like they are always reminders of what my family pictures/family table/family gatherings *should* look like but don't because there is a piece missing. Definitely take some time for yourself as you need it over the next couple of months.

@Mack2342 I'm sorry your cat is not well. It's so hard when an older pet is sick and you are confronted with possibly losing them. I hope you were able to get her to the vet and she's OK.

@Kath525 Hope you have a great trip!!!

@zamora_spin I'm so sorry you're dealing with yet another loss. I hope the testing provides some answers.

@pumpkinpancake GL this month! Never hurts to be optimistic

@amberruka Hope your thyroid is OK!

@cassafrass15 Happy Anniversary!!!

AFM, I had my hysteroscopy and endometrial biopsy yesterday. The biopsy hurt like a MOFO (like the worst period cramps you've ever had and pressure in weird places) but I guess it would considering they are taking a scraper and scraping the insides of your entire uterus.....The hysteroscopy was a piece of cake. I actually asked the doctor if they could turn the monitor so that I could see it too. She looked at me like I had 4 heads and said most people are super squeamish, but turned the monitor and was happy to explain to me everything that we were looking at with the camera. Super awesome to see what the inside of a real, live uterus looks like! She said my uterine cavity looked really good and the openings to the fallopian tubes were good too. I will have the results of the biopsy by Thursday. Hopefully everything is good there too.

vlagrl29 · November 2017

@tosh24 - glad your procedures went well. I would want to look too lol. I was interested in seeing my tubes during the HSG.

zamoraspin · November 2017

@honeybeebub Yeah, I totally understand that. My OB was not at all concerned about loss #1, and that one probably would have been the best one to test because there was definitely a sac.
@dpjennifer Thank you. I know you are having the endometrial biopsy this cycle and I hope you get some new information from that. I do have some questions - for one thing, I asked my RE if we should be concerned about my lining and she said no, I am getting pregnant so there is not a lining problem. This doesn't totally mesh with what I have seen on here with other RPL sufferers reporting endometrial testing of various types. Do you have any thoughts on lining issues and why your dr thinks that may be the issue?

This got super long, feel free to ignore, I am basically trying to compare notes with anyone who has looked into RPL/had RPL testing: RPL sufferers usually have higher than average levels of fertility (in the sense that we get pregnant). I saw one small scale study (6 RPL, 6 "normal" women who had histories of successful pregnancies) which essentially noted that the uterine cells of RPL sufferers allow any embryo to implant, whereas "normal" women have pickier uterine cells and will allow only "healthy" embryos to implant. (Article about study: https://www.livescience.com/22706-super-fertility-recurrent-miscarriages.html). (This seems to be me, my uterus is all about bonding with any embryo it meets).

I also read about a study saying that the uterine cells of women with RPL have fewer stem cells. (Article about stem cells: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/03/160307211055.htm). There is at least one study looking at whether endometrial scratching might reduce the risk of miscarriage for RPL sufferers. I don't know where this fits in if the most common cause of idiopathic RPL is genetic...

We probably all mostly know the treatable causes of RPL - thyroid, autoimmune, uterine abnormalities, blood clotting issues, karyotype issues, etc. About 50% of RPL is "idiopathic" which means, gosh we don't know why this is happening. It seems like a large segment of that 50% is then attributed to egg/sperm quality issues (genetically unhealthy embryos). Some other part of this idiopathic group likely has some kind of immune issue which cannot yet be diagnosed. My RE claims that in 10 years we'll understand this better, which, will be too late for me.

I have tried adopting the vast majority of the suggestions in It Starts with the Egg (taking diet to almost zero sugar not included), and so far no change in outcome.

The options that have been presented to me: if we're making genetically unhealthy embryos, either try "expectant management," which means, try and then try some more and hope for a better outcome with luck (70% of women who have RPL will eventually have a healthy baby with no intervention), or do IVF with PGS testing (obviously, very expensive and time consuming). Some commentators are actually pretty skeptical that IVF with PGS is an efficient treatment option given how many RPL sufferers will eventually go on to have healthy pregnancies on their own, but I also think you have to consider how painful mc is, and how much fertile time you realistically have left.

The option if I'm losing healthy embryos is... heparin, that's all my RE has suggested if this is the case. I can't find many studies indicating this will actually help.

dpjennifer · November 2017

zamora_spin Honestly, when it comes to uterine lining, I'm not certain. I know they looked at mine when they did the dye test and saline sonogram. But, no more tests beyond that on my lining. It sucks that RPL sufferers have a 50-75% rate of being unexplained. I'm going to read (or re-read) both of the articles you mention. I've heard of these theories, but basically I feel as though doctors and specialists really don't know (unless you're a 'lucky' RPL sufferer who found out an explanation from one of the few tests they can do).

I was basically told the 2 choices that you were told. I'm skeptical about the IVF since like you said it's expensive, and it's not always effective for unexplained RPL. Plus, since they don't know what my actual issue is, I'm hesitant to spend so much money on something when if my issue is somehow related to carrying the child, it wouldn't have a hope of working anyway.

Besides the RPL tests, I've tried raspberry leaf tea (made from herbs by a 'crunchy' friend of mine). I dieted and exercised. I've taken my vitamins and whatnot. Ugh. It's so frustrating!

And your doctor saying more information in 10 years!?!? Too late for many of us.

zamoraspin · November 2017

@dpjennifer I must be misunderstanding the endometrial biopsy, is that not a lining type test? What is your dr hoping to learn from the test?

Yes, that is the difficult thing in making a decision to try IVF, all that money and what if it doesn't help when you are unexplained RPL? We are going to consider IVF if it turns out this last little embryo was abnormal (we may or may not do one more try on our own before we decide). We had envisioned having two kids (ha, that's going great so far!) and I would hope we might get one or two "extra" embryos out of IVF with PGS, although I know it's not a guarantee, and I am scared we might try a cycle and get no good embryos at all.

Some clinics have a risk-sharing program where you pay a bigger amount up front for a certain number of retrievals and unlimited transfers, but they guaranty a live birth or your money back. Each program is different and each clinic has its own qualifications, plus the cost generally does not include meds or PGS testing. Our clinic does offer a risk-sharing plan and we seem to qualify except there is a reference to fresh transfers and then additional frozen as needed and there is no point for us to do a fresh transfer because obviously the whole point would be to try good looking PGS tested embryos only. I know for us we would be more likely to try it if we would be guaranteed a baby or our money back. It would suck (eta, didn't finish my thought) to spend all that time, and we'd be out a fair amount of $$ that would be nonrefundable due to PGS and meds, but it might be our best option, idk.

dpjennifer · November 2017

zamora_spin It's a progesterone biopsy. To determine progesterone levels. To see if I should take progesterone supplements or not.

I'd always wanted 2-3 kids too, and now I feel like I'll be lucky to even have one.

I'm slightly worried about the IVF thing with the cost and the fact that more and more women are coming forward saying that the fertility clinics push so many towards IVF, even if it doesn't help.

Right now we're just going to have the biopsy and then try again. Hope we fall into that 70% of RPL sufferers who eventually have a live birth. But I just can't keep doing this, emotionally.

40momma · November 2017

1. Not new, been here since April. Just had my third loss in a row, no living children.
2. Status Benched. Will schedule a hysteroscopy. Had one planned but then got pg so we cancel dit but it's back to the drawing board again. Waiting on karyotype and fishes tests to come back. Have also started to google the adoption process. At 41 yrs old with 3 losses, I'm not so sure I'll ever be able to carry a baby to full term, which is heartbreaking
3. Rants/Raves: The last few weeks have sucked (my third loss) and I really needed something to get my mind off things, so DH and I booked a last minute trip to Portugal. We leave in 2 weeks and will be cycling from Lisbon down to the Algarve so I'm pretty excited about that. We've never been and it's always been pretty high on our bucket list. Silver lining to my crappy situation and I'll get to drink tons of port. I'll also be there on my EDD from my first loss, which also would have been exactly my 12 week mark on my third loss, so I'm pretty sure that day will be pretty hard, hoping Portugal eases the pain.
4. GTKY: What is your favorite beauty product? My lip chap. Can't live without it. I don't wear makeup except for a small bit of eyeliner but I do spend the money on good face cream and eye cream. I've used Lancome since I was about 20

@leahcimmichael fingers crossed you get some answers from your HSG, keep us updated

@Mack2342 my heart breaks for your kitty. I had a 17.5 yr old that I had to say goodbye to and it was so hard. I never thought I could make the decision but I read somewhere 'one moment too early is better than too long too late' and I just knew I didn't want her to suffer any longer.

@zamora_spin It definitely sucks to see you back here. Just reading through all of your findings and will read through your links. I too get pg very easily (sorry ladies for those of you that keep trying with no BFP). Each time I've gotten pg, it's actually shocked us both how quickly it was, but then I've gone on to lose them all so it's definitely not easy. But your statement that RPL sufferers allow any embryo to implant is quite interesting.

zamoraspin · November 2017

@40momma Yes, like you I seem almost overly fertile for my age - my RE is kind of shocked by it. I feel so terrible for folks who struggle to get pregnant, but it is also terrible to be able to get pregnant and not be able to keep a pregnancy. We have also talked about adoption, I asked DH what his preferences are and his preference is to try IVF (or even IVF with donor eggs) before we move to adoption. Right now I agree with that priority although I don't know how many more losses I can take. I feel like I will know when I am done. I feel like you will be the same, you will know when you are ready to take a step in a different direction. I am glad you are taking a trip to get your mind off of it as best you can for a while.
@dpjennifer I understand what you mean about IVF, it's not always the right choice and I do think there is a push towards it by RE's. I honestly did not think I would be willing to try it and then we had this loss and all of a sudden I am considering it, but like I said above, I think it's just a matter of deciding what feels right for you.

vlagrl29 · November 2017

regarding adoption and IVF - I feel both are very costly probably adoption more so. I know we couldn't afford both so we would have to decide between the 2 and I'd almost rather adopt knowing that was a better chance. We already have 1 biological child. The thought has entered my mind but we'd have to save up for it. We aren't there yet but I wouldn't rule it out just yet.

So sorry you are back here @40momma and so sorry for those with multiple losses.

Mack2342 · November 2017

@dpjennifer I think you have to find the right DR. When I went for my consultation the RE gave me all my options and the % for IVF and then he stated that he didn’t think it was a good idea for me. My friend went to a different RE and the only thing he discussed with her was IVF. She is looking for a different one in her area.

Mack2342 · November 2017

@40momma I hope your trip helps ease some of your pain. I hope you get some answers soon.
As far as my kitty, she is spending day at vet tomorrow. I’m kind of at that moment because I don’t want to see her suffer. I have gone through that once and it’s horrible. I’m hoping vet can give me some insight so I feel comfortable with my decision whatever it may be.

Kath525 · November 2017

@zamora_spin that's really interesting about being extra fertile and just accepting any embryo. I could totally see that. Thanks for sharing those articles.
@40momma I'm so glad you are doing something your bucket list. I hope you enjoy every moment.

zamoraspin · November 2017

@vlagrl29 I agree, adoption seems like it is generally more expensive than IVF, especially if you want an infant or young child (for me I know I am not ready to give up on the dream of raising a baby yet). So often people will say "you can always adopt" and I don't think they realize it's also a very difficult and expensive process. I also agree I think it is more certain than IVF, although there are risks there too, for example expectant mothers are able to back out of adoption even after a couple has paid their living costs and so forth.

tosh24 · November 2017

I agree with @Mack2342. A good doctor will go through all of your options with you and not necessarily push toward IVF. My doctor wanted to do IUIs first (he didn't want to do medicated TI since we had been trying so long already and I wanted to move faster) but he wouldn't even start me on injects. I did 3 cycles of only femara first before he moved me to injects. And then after 2 failed inject cycles that's when he really pushed me toward IVF because I was a good candidate for it. It's no secret that in *most* cases, IVF has the highest success rate in terms of treatments regardless of diagnosis. Any RE will tell you that. But whether or not it makes sense for you to start there is the question. I'm sure there are money hungry REs that tend to push IVF, but in my almost 9 years of IF treatments, I have seen 4 different REs and not one of them has pushed me to do IVF (only my last RE and that was after 5 failed IUIs and a miscarriage). It is a huge decision though, especially with all the financial implications and there's still no guarantee of a baby at the end.

vlagrl29 · November 2017

yes @zamora_spin - I know an older lady at the yoga studio who told me she can't have kids so they were so close to adopting a baby a long time ago. Were at the hospital and ended up going home without a baby because the mother of the girl that was pregnant decided they should keep it. Either way you go there are no for sure guarantees. you just have to have faith that it will all work out somehow.

vlagrl29 · November 2017

I also think that I'm going to work on my mind - basically making sure I'm not negative. If I think it will never happen that's not helping me much. I know I've struggled with that a lot since the loss. I just need to believe that one day I will get pregnant. My body is working as it should so why wouldn't it? Not one OB has stated any concerns that either of us have. All testing has came back fine. With the new dr I have my health should be improving even more so that gives me some hope. The temping, using OPKs, stressing out on perfect bd timing just doesn't work for me. It probably makes it worse actually. I'm hoping all of this helps. Chilling the F out, enjoying bd time with DH, supplementing things I'm low on and believing it will happen.

dpjennifer · November 2017

Mack2342 Yeah, I think you're right. The first RE I went to really was pushing IVF. The second one we went to basically told me that if I lost 21 lbs. my % to MC was the same as IVF, so he wouldn't waste his money on it.

zamora_spin Yeah, I really don't think that the "Just Adopt" people realize that it isn't that easy.

Mack2342 · November 2017

@zamora_spin just adopt is not that easy. People are nuts if they think it’s that easy. Not to mention things other mentioned in PP. I saw my regular dr a couple of weeks ago (she adopted her son and her partner is in process of adopting now) they both told me that I wouldn’t qualify unless I did private and I can forget anything outside of US. She said they add you and spouse’s age together for one and that becomes your age to see if they will even consider. We would be 84 then and totally out of question

vlagrl29 · November 2017

@mack2342 - ? what??? Age? To me kids need a home why would this even be in question? Private adoption I'm assuming is more expensive.

jchpg · November 2017

Wow you ladies have been chatting way too fast for me to catch up! Interesting about adoption. I know it’s not a cheap option... but it’s crazy to hear that about age, @mack2342! DH and I have talked about adoption.... but I’d rather not think too much about it until we’ve tried with intervention for at least one more year....

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