Bringing a baby into the world is a beautifully and powerful thing, regardless of where or how you do it. Everyone should do their research, know their options and make the choice that is right for the them and never be criticized for it.
I personally was on the fence about a home delivery three years ago, I certainly can understand the appeal. However, I will forever be thankful that I was at the hospital with my first. It was a successful unmedicated delivery with a beautiful healthy baby boy in the end. But at one point while I thought things were progressing fine, the medical team informed me of some concerns. With coaching and some support, we got him out quickly and all further complication were avoided. My stomach is in knots thinking of how I may not have known about the trouble my son was in if I had perhaps been at home in the tub as I had originally envisioned. I'm sure there are alternative resources for monitoring and interventions for home births, I don't want to pretend I know much about it. I really don't. But my personal scare was enough for me to likely lean towards all future deliveries being in hospitals if possible.
Best of luck to each of you on your journey! Do whats right for you. ❤️
A note about group B strep... I brought it up to my midwife because I tested positive for it with J, and she said they do a push IV instead of leaving you hooked up the entire time. It pissed me off to find out that's even an option because I had to have an IV in my arm during labor with J, and it broke in my arm. On top of that they forgot to even administer the second dose of the antibiotic. -.-
Broke in your arm?! Ouch!! I’ve tested positive for it twice but never had the time to get the antibiotics for it anyway. We just watch baby extra close for several days. From what I’ve heard, some midwives give you the option of having the antibiotic if you deliver at home. Testing positive at 37 weeks doesn’t mean you are still positive at delivery time. There are several things you can do to help change your positive status as well.
Oh yeah they've mentioned a few things if I test positive this time. I should start probiotics again now that I'm not nauseous anymore! The IV sucked... They had no idea until they went to take it out.
A note about group B strep... I brought it up to my midwife because I tested positive for it with J, and she said they do a push IV instead of leaving you hooked up the entire time. It pissed me off to find out that's even an option because I had to have an IV in my arm during labor with J, and it broke in my arm. On top of that they forgot to even administer the second dose of the antibiotic. -.-
Broke in your arm?! Ouch!! I’ve tested positive for it twice but never had the time to get the antibiotics for it anyway. We just watch baby extra close for several days. From what I’ve heard, some midwives give you the option of having the antibiotic if you deliver at home. Testing positive at 37 weeks doesn’t mean you are still positive at delivery time. There are several things you can do to help change your positive status as well.
Oh yeah they've mentioned a few things if I test positive this time. I should start probiotics again now that I'm not nauseous anymore! The IV sucked... They had no idea until they went to take it out.
I had to have an IV and the thing wasn't put in well and I got a nice infection in my wrist. That is literally the only part of giving birth that I actually hated was the stupid itchy IV!!!!
@suchaglencoco BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I'm pretty sure with my first I just gave up since I wasn't allowed to have any sexual contact after 26 weeks anyway and figured my OB has seen it all so why bother!
Props to all you mama's who go unmedicated, but I couldn't do it. And additional props to all of the mamas regardless of how you have birth - you're all wonderwomen. I was induced twice with DS and I took an epidural as soon as I could.
As far as homebirth goes, I'm a strong nope. I had too many complications with my son's delivery and wound up needing blood transfusions afterward. If I wasn't in a hospital, I don't think things would have ended as happily. I feel much safer in a hospital. Plus I'm in such a rural area, I'm not sure I could find people willing to assist...the local midwife I used last time was against homebirths.
Just curious, how many STMs that had vaginal births had an epidural? Just wondering. I had a vaginal and had a dose of nubain which is just a pain relief for a couple of hours. But no epidural.
@theletlers I delivered DS vaginally and had an epidural. I had back labor that was insanely painful and made it so I couldn't relax in between contractions. I honestly don't think I could have made it through the 24+ hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing without it.
@Ceridwen77 dang woman! that's pretty awesome. I will say...my goal is to avoid medication throughout pregnancy.....but unisom has helped me a bit and the zofran is calling my name.
@kpc914 I was going for an unmedicated birth and my doula knew it. When I got to the hospital and was 4cm (after not dialating to more than 1 prior to that), the staff asked if I wanted morphine and a sleep aid because it would be “a long night” for me. Honestly I was in so much pain at that point I couldn’t speak. I could not even give them my name at the hospital and was signaling to my husband to answer their questions, but they made me talk. So at that point if it weren’t for my doula encouraging me to move out of triage and into my room to try the jacuzzi tub, I think I would have given in.
After about an hour I was done. I said to my husband and doula “I want the morphine”. They called the nurse and relayed the info, she checked me and was like oh no honey you’re not getting anything, you’re pushing. She said this as she hit a red button on the wall and people swarmed the room. (I was 10cm and station 2 at this point).
For what it’s worth, phase 3 of labor was barely painful for me. As soon as I got on the bed to push I snapped out of “la la land” and had barely any pain. I also didn’t experience too much discomfort postpartum either. I mean there was some pain there but I think I was just so thrilled to be a mom that I didn’t pay attention to my pain.
@Ceridwen77 we hired a doula and my goal is to go for an unmedicated birth. I think I have the similar mind set as you, I am not opposed to asking for meds in the moment if I feel like I need them....but, barring any complications, I want to try and go med free. We will see. I am glad your labor went more quickly than you anticipated!
@theletlers My intention with both of mine was to go unmedicated. My first was sunny side up though, so after almost 30 hours of labor, including pitocin, and being stalled in transition for hours and hours, I got the epi which let me relax enough to sleep for an hour or two and finish dilating. My second was unmedicated, not sunny side up.
@Ceridwen77 we hired a doula and my goal is to go for an unmedicated birth. I think I have the similar mind set as you, I am not opposed to asking for meds in the moment if I feel like I need them....but, barring any complications, I want to try and go med free. We will see. I am glad your labor went more quickly than you anticipated!
It’s good to be open minded and have a plan! If you really want to do it, you can. Just remember “my body is making this pain and it wouldn’t give me anything I can’t handle”.
And I expected a long labor so was very surprised that things went so quickly. They told me to come to the hospital ASAP this time.
I was induced and didn't use any pain medication. The pain wasn't the shitty part of labor for me though, as I was too distracted by everything else that was horrible to be focused on the pain. I didn't do hypnobirthing or mantras or anything like that. I do have an unusually high pain tolerance though, and I likened the experience to forcing myself to keep running or dancing without paying attention to it. If that make sense? (I'm not saying you should try it, I'm weird)
I would caution people who say home birth is an irresponsible choice for the baby to consider that in the case of low-risk pregnancies, hospital births pose very similar statistical risks to home births. I think many of us find the idea of a hospital birth more reassuring, and that feeling is legitimate--but we shouldn't confuse that desire with any statistical evidence that home birth is dangerous for babies.
I didn't do a home birth with my first child because I didn't want to figure out how to make it work with my insurance. This time I'm AMA and I'm not sure if that makes me a bad candidate for home birth or a birthing center--but I did find my daughter's hospital birth really dehumanizing.
The pushing was the easy part for me (with number two, at least)! Endorphins kicked in once I made it to 10cm and I literally felt no pain at all. No ring of fire, nothing. Now, getting from about 8.5 to 10 was a bitch for sure.
@theletlers I delivered DS vaginally and had an epidural. I had back labor that was insanely painful and made it so I couldn't relax in between contractions. I honestly don't think I could have made it through the 24+ hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing without it.
Did the make you stay on your back or were you allowed to move around?
@o_so_in_love with the epidural? There’s no way I could have moved around with the epidural. I was totally numb and didn’t regain feeling in my legs until several hours after I gave birth. I was allowed to lay on my side during labor but for pushing I was on my back. Before the epidural I walked around as much as possible.
Every story is so different! I had an epidural with my first and delivered naturally, but it was an awful experience and 9 month recovery afterward. I was induced. Induction led to needing an epidural (Pitocin cx are no joke), epidural sped up labor and they gave me an episiotomy(fking awful recovery), plus having the epidural placed was a nightmare and I vowed never to go through that again. They kept missing and I could feel the needle fishing around my spine.
So with my 2nd I went into labor naturally and had a completely unmedicated natural birth with an easy recovery.
You can guess how I feel about inductions and epidurals.
I had an epidural with my DD. I was having back labor and didn't even realize it on a Saturday. She was hitched on my lower back so I thought that's all it was. Sunday evening my water leaked, so I went to the hospital. Contractions were sporadic and unorganized and intense at times, so they suggested pitocin to get things rolling after no progress for a few hours. It worked, but the back labor was so awful I only lasted a couple hours before demanding an epidural. I thought I'd go unmedicated as long as I could, but I rolled with it and was very happy with the epidural. I was able to get some rest and my body dilated and baby dropped to be ready to push in less than 7 hours. I only pushed for 26 minutes. My only complication was that I squeezed my own leg so hard while pushing and couldn't feel it that I temporarily damaged a nerve. When the epidural wore off, I still couldn't feel my right foot. I had the anestesiolgist pretty freaked out. It took about a day to wear off till I could walk without being carted to the bathroom. I will likely go for the epidural again this time.
I planned unmedicated but ended up with pitocin (it was awful)... there was no break between contractions at all. I literally could not breathe. I will never have pitocin again if I have any other option at all, I will chose the other option. Bc of this pain, I got the epidural and it slowed everything way down. Pushing went okay for me. But recovery was rough. I couldn't stand up straight for four days, couldn't walk until 48 hours later and had back pain in the injection site for months. This time, no induction, no meds. Birth center. Get my happy ass out of there ASAP!
Pitocin is the worst. I have almost no memory of the hours I spent on pit before I got the epi, because the pain was so bad. I have one image of DH standing over me, holding my hand and crying. That's when I asked for the epi.
I had an epidural, and will most likely get one this time around too. I thought I wanted to try unmedicated but nope, shit got real, real fast. I was having strong contractions about 3 min apart and felt it was time to head to the hospital. We get there and I was only dilated to a 2. 6 hours later, contractions still going strong and no progress. They broke my water and started pitocin and then I got the epi and had him about 10.5 hours later. My delivery was also vacuum assisted and he ended up needing to spend 2 nights in the special care nursery for some breathing problems. So yes to epi and yes to a hospital birth again for me.
My entire birth plan consisted of get the epidural ASAP. Lol I didn’t even do a child birth class because I had no intentions of learning how to breath through contractions. My thoughts were the doctor and nurse will tell me what to do and I was fortunate enough to have an amazing delivery nurse.
My water broke at home and they started me on pitocin right away. I knew once I got the epidural I would be stuck in bed so I did walk around the halls with my husband and I sat on a birthing ball for a little while in my room. As soon as I started feeling slightly stronger contractions I asked for the drugs lol I was maybe 3 cm. I am glad I did because there were a few ladies ahead of me and by the time they came in I was having much stronger contractions. The epidural was amazing and I delivered an 8lb 6oz baby pain free. I pray I have a similar labor this time!
Not trying to scare anyone, but my second Labor was so fast there was no chance for an epidural. She was born before I was even checked into the hospital. It’s probably a good idea to have some breathing and coping methods under your belt just in case!
@gildah my bff has an extremely fast labor with her first and didn’t have time for an epi. She got to the hospital, was at a 7 and the baby was born 45 minutes later. She just had her second and was more aware of what to look for as far as signs of labor and frequency of contractions. Even with that, she was only in labor for a total of 6 hours with her second.
@MissusTexas your epidural fishing sounds exactly like my spinal tap for my c-section with my first. They asked me to shout left or right when I felt that horrible nerve pain to help them feed the needle in. Still gives me nightmares! To top it all off they were playing MY LEAST FAVOURITE radio station in the operating theatre...urgh!
Second time around I went into labour naturally, second son was sunny side up so no rest between contractions and intense pain, but I managed to do it with just gas and air, albeit 1 and a half cylinders of the stuff. The plastic mouth piece looked like my dog at been at it by the end. The thought of an epidural didn’t even cross my mind for some unknown reason, and they never offered. I wanted to get in the pool but they told me I wasn’t dilated enough (I was 2cm after 10 hrs, so they broke my waters. 3 hours later out came the baby, no time for bath filling. Weird thing was how, as soon as I got that urge to push, all the pain just disappeared! It just became an almighty all-consuming need to just push. Or bodies are freaking amazing!!!!!
This time I’m again hoping for an unmedicated vaginal birth in the pool. Before getting to hospital I found being in the bath helped the pain hugely. Every time I tried to get out I was like “nope nope nope!!!” And back in. In the hospital a really hot water bottle practically took away the searing back pain - I’ll be forever grateful to be midwife who kept refilling it with practically boiling water. Angel!!! It really works!
@motherof2monkeys I have only heard of a few other people who have had to experience that and I’m sorry you had to endure that as well. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
@tincupchalice The epidural made my memories foggy, too. I don’t remember holding my first daughter for the first time I remember every detail of L&D with my 2nd daughter’s unmedicated birth and I’m so grateful for those memories since I missed out the first time.
I would never consider a home birth. First, I'm slightly OCD so I would never feel like my home was sterile enough before or after baby. Second, I know many babies who wouldn't be here today if they were born at home. Third, I had a high risk pregnancy with my first so I had to be induced and was medicated up the wazoo. It was miserable but being surrounded by such a calm and knowledgeable medical staff there was never a moment where I felt afraid for me or my son. I'm not knocking home birth but it's not for me.
Just curious, how many STMs that had vaginal births had an epidural? Just wondering. I had a vaginal and had a dose of nubain which is just a pain relief for a couple of hours. But no epidural.
My labor was to fast...6 hours total. I showed up at the hospital 9 cm dilated, and only 33w 4d. It was crazy. Pushed for an hour, immediate transferred both of us 30 min away to hospital with NICU. Fortunately everything was perfectly fine. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for an unmediated birth again this time add I've heard 2nd babies tend to come quicker. I've also been reading up on home births just in case. I wouldn't plan one personally, but after reading, I can understand the allure.
I know a lot of babies who were born healthy at home! While this may be a perfect plan for some, it was not for me. I felt more comfortable if something went wrong that I had access to help there. I had a very specific birth plan- leave me alone to labor and I will call the nurse if I need something, don’t offer pain meds, I will ask if I need them, skin on skin contact immediately following birth, etc. DS was born at 41 weeks, 7 hours from water breaking/ 1st contraction to holding him, and without an epidural, pain meds, or any help getting him out. As long as I was walking around or sitting on a birthing ball, I never once had a feeling of needing help with the discomfort. Recovery time was also very quick. We took baby and dog for a walk after getting home from the hospital. Hoping it goes like this the 2nd time around.
I was incredibly blessed with a picture perfect first delivery. DS came on his due date. I went to the doctor that morning because I didn't feel him moving much. They hooked me up and he woke up and was moving everywhere. I was scheduled for a check up the next day but they decided to check me so I wouldn't have to come back. I was 5cm and having Braxton hicks every few minutes. The doctor said I could go in labor at any point so I decided to go to the hospital. I called DH to tell him to meet me there. I walked the halls for hours. At 4:00 that afternoon I was 6cm and still not in active labor, so they broke my water. 2 hours and 45 minutes later he was born. I didn't have an epidural.
I have had 2 very different deliveries. With DS1 I had an extremely long latent phase of labour (3days) and the contractions were consistently at 7mins the whole time and too painful to sleep. When I was finally in established labour and allowed to stay at the hospital it was a further 13 hours until he was born. I was given pethadine (which took away my ability to control the pain) gas and air & eventually I gave in and asked for an epidural. When I was at 10cm I had no urge to push, no pain and was falling asleep. DS had the cord around his neck and was not coming down. He was eventually forceps delivered. I would not consider this delivery natural, not because of the medications but because of the forceps. Obviously it was not my plan, but I do not feel in any way bad about it. Everything that needed to be done was done and DS is a happy 3.5 year old. With DS2 I was most concerned about the length of early labour and being too exhausted to push him out. We decided to take a hypnobirthing course (which is nothing like as hippie as it sounds!) The lady running it was a former midwife and a doula. Mostly it was about really understanding how your body works and little things that can help labour along. Start to end labour took 16 hours with DS2. I felt it was quick. I managed early labour in the bath and with a tens machine. We actually went into hospital because I was concerned about dehydration. I couldn't keep water down. When we got there I was surprised to be at 5cm (my body never does the 3 contractions in 10 mins that tell you to watch for.) I was in control and pursuaded the midwives to give me an anti-emetic injection rather than a drip and just drink water. I then had gas and air and was in the birthing pool in the midwife led unit. I was in a focuses bubble right up until transition when I asked for an epidural. When I got out of the water to be measured I started screaming and my body was pushing, so I never got one (I am so glad!) I did not consciously push at all, I just remember focusing on not tensing. I would consider this birth natural( though I did use gas and air). i think it's really important to be a bit relaxed about the birth plan. I would never want to offend anyone by calling their birth unnatural, but have always used the word natural in regard to births with no intervention. So apologies if it offends. There is certainly no negative association meant, just a description! The thing I think is more important that how birth occurs is imediate skin to skin (if possible of course!) DS1 spent the first hour of his life wrapped up In a cot while I was sewn up, and he really struggled to learn to breastfeed. With DS2 I insisted on having him for that hour and he was so different. Just my experience, but if I regret one thing it would be that. With regard to home birth, whilst I have not had one, I learned a lot from hypnobirthing. Labour progresses well when and wherever the mother is most relaxed and home can provide a much more relaxing environment for some. It is statistically true that less interventions happen with home births. Midwives are very cautious and will transfer to hospital if there are any concerns. Obviously it is not for everyone, but 60 years ago it was the norm. My sons are too young and I would worry about scaring them if I ended up screaming. But part of me would love a home birth. I am hoping for a pool birth this time. Sorry this is so long, I feel quite passionately about this as my hypnobirthing was really helpful last time!
To put this in context, more than 98% of women, in 2012, chose to give birth in a hospital. Low risk birth can become high risk in the blink of an eye, even for people with multiple previous healthy pregnancies. For most people home birth is safe. If something does go wrong, though, you don't have a team of experts available to you! And it's not just about the labour process, it's about the child. Some babies need more resuscitation than others, and things can be wrong that can't be seen on ultrasound. One of my close friends is a pediatrician and he's seen kids have brain damage or die because they were unfortunately too far from the hospital: some that would have been totally fine had they delivered with a pediatrician in the room or down the hall. But again, most births are pretty low risk so the chances of that happening are low.
Point being, home birth isn't for me: I'm not willing to take that chance. Modern obstetrical and pediatric care has made childbirth safe over the last hundred years. I'm not turning that down.
Seems like for those who are interested in these things, a natural hospital birth with a primary care provider or midwife could provide 90% of the benefit of a home birth with access to advanced care should something go wrong? But really it's all about the small risk of there being a big problem vs. the comfort of being at home: everyone will see that differently and make their own decision.
With DD1, I was having contractions for 2 weeks and we kept going to the hospital and being sent home. At 5 days overdue, at this point 3 weeks of contractions, my ob said we'd induce that week and we went home to decide which day. On Tuesday at 11pm we said, "ok, week induce Thursday" and my water broke as the words came out. I got ready and we went to the hospital. Contractions never got very intense (which I only realized when in labor with my second). I walked, went in the tub, etc. They started me on pitocin but I still didn't progress. After 22 hours they said I needed an epidural to see if that would get things moving. If it didn't, they'd need to do a csection. I was also group b strep positive and getting antibiotics through all this. They gave the epidural and I rested. An hour later I was fully dilated and pushed for 45 minutes. They thought baby had a fever and didn't leg me near her for a day just in case. She was in the nicu for 3 days. I felt bad about a lot of it for a long time. When preparing for DD2, I finally let a lot of it go.
For DD2, I also started contractions very early. This time by a month with no progress. My plan was to stay home until contractions got really bad. That was the game changer for me. When I was a week overdue I was up most of the night with contractions. I timed them but let DH sleep. In the morning I told him to call in sick to work. We got DD1 ready for school and dropped her off. The car died in the lot so DH jumped it. We stopped at dunkin donuts. When we got to the hospital I said we should just go straight to L & d instead of the office (i had an appointment at 9). I was 5cm. I got in the tub and labored there for a while. I was 8cm when I got out and baby was a little stuck. Three nurse had me sir in the toilet and suddenly everything opened and came out and I was ready to push. I told her I was going to have the baby on the toilet like in I didn't know I was pregnant. She picked me up and moved me to the bed. I pushed for 20 minutes and cursed at the doctor. DD2 was delivered on my chest and she nursed. They tried to massage me after to help the uterus contact and stop the bleeding but I was in shock and shaking and didn't want to be touched so they gave me pitocin, which I was annoyed about. For those who said pushing didn't hurt, that was not my experience at all.
I think not worrying about when you need to go to the hospital makes the whole thing easier. In that way, a home birth is appealing. I also hate the iv and you can likely avoid that with a home birth. But I wouldn't do it if I weren't very close to a hospital and also not with other kids there.
My sister has 5. 4 routine, medicated, hospital births. 3 out of the 4 Long labors with several interventions (membrane sweeps, water being broken, epi) and honestly, rather dramatic, but that’s just the way she is haha Her 5th at home was peaceful, relaxed and on the babies schedule. She labored in the tub and and shower and eventually had a water birth, with her 2 year old on my lap watching. Babies have a beautiful way of understanding what’s going on, especially if you explain it to them. My oldest niece saw sibling number 3 born and thinks it was the most amazing thing. If you’re comfortable with it, involving the family in the process can be so beautiful.
@theletlers I'm a STM. I had hoped to deliver without pain medication, but by the time I arrived at the hospital I would have opted for something. However, I was already 9 3/4cm dilated (yikes!). Every situation is so different. You can go in with all the plans in the world, but I suggest you learn what you can in advance and go in with an open mind!
@gildah My son's birth was similar. I'm so nervous about how quickly this one might come. Before I woke up at 4:30am with some cramps, had a shower (my water broke, I didn't need know), labour started around 5am and he was born at 7:21. He was perfect and heavenly, but a little less chaos at the hospital this time around would be nice!
Seems like for those who are interested in these things, a natural hospital birth with a primary care provider or midwife could provide 90% of the benefit of a home birth with access to advanced care should something go wrong? But really it's all about the small risk of there being a big problem vs. the comfort of being at home: everyone will see that differently and make their own decision.
No, home birth is not just about being comfortable. It’s also about avoiding the risks hospitals create. You never hear someone say, “maybe that c-section could have been avoided if I’d stayed home” but it could be true, the statistics are clear that the less OBs are involved in low risk birth, the less chance interventions will happen. And woman and babies die from c-sections. I really don’t like the attitude that homebirth woman are being selfish. How about this article:
Re: Homebirth
I personally was on the fence about a home delivery three years ago, I certainly can understand the appeal. However, I will forever be thankful that I was at the hospital with my first. It was a successful unmedicated delivery with a beautiful healthy baby boy in the end. But at one point while I thought things were progressing fine, the medical team informed me of some concerns. With coaching and some support, we got him out quickly and all further complication were avoided. My stomach is in knots thinking of how I may not have known about the trouble my son was in if I had perhaps been at home in the tub as I had originally envisioned. I'm sure there are alternative resources for monitoring and interventions for home births, I don't want to pretend I know much about it. I really don't. But my personal scare was enough for me to likely lean towards all future deliveries being in hospitals if possible.
Best of luck to each of you on your journey! Do whats right for you. ❤️
I was induced twice with DS and I took an epidural as soon as I could.
As far as homebirth goes, I'm a strong nope. I had too many complications with my son's delivery and wound up needing blood transfusions afterward. If I wasn't in a hospital, I don't think things would have ended as happily. I feel much safer in a hospital. Plus I'm in such a rural area, I'm not sure I could find people willing to assist...the local midwife I used last time was against homebirths.
dang woman! that's pretty awesome. I will say...my goal is to avoid medication throughout pregnancy.....but unisom has helped me a bit and the zofran is calling my name.
After about an hour I was done. I said to my husband and doula “I want the morphine”. They called the nurse and relayed the info, she checked me and was like oh no honey you’re not getting anything, you’re pushing. She said this as she hit a red button on the wall and people swarmed the room. (I was 10cm and station 2 at this point).
For what it’s worth, phase 3 of labor was barely painful for me. As soon as I got on the bed to push I snapped out of “la la land” and had barely any pain. I also didn’t experience too much discomfort postpartum either. I mean there was some pain there but I think I was just so thrilled to be a mom that I didn’t pay attention to my pain.
And I expected a long labor so was very surprised that things went so quickly. They told me to come to the hospital ASAP this time.
I didn't do a home birth with my first child because I didn't want to figure out how to make it work with my insurance. This time I'm AMA and I'm not sure if that makes me a bad candidate for home birth or a birthing center--but I did find my daughter's hospital birth really dehumanizing.
I had an epidural with my first and delivered naturally, but it was an awful experience and 9 month recovery afterward. I was induced. Induction led to needing an epidural (Pitocin cx are no joke), epidural sped up labor and they gave me an episiotomy(fking awful recovery), plus having the epidural placed was a nightmare and I vowed never to go through that again. They kept missing and I could feel the needle fishing around my spine.
So with my 2nd I went into labor naturally and had a completely unmedicated natural birth with an easy recovery.
You can guess how I feel about inductions and epidurals.
Bc of this pain, I got the epidural and it slowed everything way down. Pushing went okay for me. But recovery was rough. I couldn't stand up straight for four days, couldn't walk until 48 hours later and had back pain in the injection site for months.
This time, no induction, no meds. Birth center. Get my happy ass out of there ASAP!
My water broke at home and they started me on pitocin right away. I knew once I got the epidural I would be stuck in bed so I did walk around the halls with my husband and I sat on a birthing ball for a little while in my room. As soon as I started feeling slightly stronger contractions I asked for the drugs lol I was maybe 3 cm. I am glad I did because there were a few ladies ahead of me and by the time they came in I was having much stronger contractions.
The epidural was amazing and I delivered an 8lb 6oz baby pain free. I pray I have a similar labor this time!
Second time around I went into labour naturally, second son was sunny side up so no rest between contractions and intense pain, but I managed to do it with just gas and air, albeit 1 and a half cylinders of the stuff. The plastic mouth piece looked like my dog at been at it by the end. The thought of an epidural didn’t even cross my mind for some unknown reason, and they never offered. I wanted to get in the pool but they told me I wasn’t dilated enough (I was 2cm after 10 hrs, so they broke my waters. 3 hours later out came the baby, no time for bath filling. Weird thing was how, as soon as I got that urge to push, all the pain just disappeared! It just became an almighty all-consuming need to just push. Or bodies are freaking amazing!!!!!
This time I’m again hoping for an unmedicated vaginal birth in the pool. Before getting to hospital I found being in the bath helped the pain hugely. Every time I tried to get out I was like “nope nope nope!!!” And back in. In the hospital a really hot water bottle practically took away the searing back pain - I’ll be forever grateful to be midwife who kept refilling it with practically boiling water. Angel!!! It really works!
@tincupchalice The epidural made my memories foggy, too. I don’t remember holding my first daughter for the first time
I remember every detail of L&D with my 2nd daughter’s unmedicated birth and I’m so grateful for those memories since I missed out the first time.
With DS2 I was most concerned about the length of early labour and being too exhausted to push him out. We decided to take a hypnobirthing course (which is nothing like as hippie as it sounds!) The lady running it was a former midwife and a doula. Mostly it was about really understanding how your body works and little things that can help labour along.
Start to end labour took 16 hours with DS2. I felt it was quick. I managed early labour in the bath and with a tens machine. We actually went into hospital because I was concerned about dehydration. I couldn't keep water down. When we got there I was surprised to be at 5cm (my body never does the 3 contractions in 10 mins that tell you to watch for.) I was in control and pursuaded the midwives to give me an anti-emetic injection rather than a drip and just drink water. I then had gas and air and was in the birthing pool in the midwife led unit. I was in a focuses bubble right up until transition when I asked for an epidural. When I got out of the water to be measured I started screaming and my body was pushing, so I never got one (I am so glad!) I did not consciously push at all, I just remember focusing on not tensing. I would consider this birth natural( though I did use gas and air).
i think it's really important to be a bit relaxed about the birth plan. I would never want to offend anyone by calling their birth unnatural, but have always used the word natural in regard to births with no intervention. So apologies if it offends. There is certainly no negative association meant, just a description!
The thing I think is more important that how birth occurs is imediate skin to skin (if possible of course!) DS1 spent the first hour of his life wrapped up In a cot while I was sewn up, and he really struggled to learn to breastfeed. With DS2 I insisted on having him for that hour and he was so different. Just my experience, but if I regret one thing it would be that.
With regard to home birth, whilst I have not had one, I learned a lot from hypnobirthing. Labour progresses well when and wherever the mother is most relaxed and home can provide a much more relaxing environment for some. It is statistically true that less interventions happen with home births. Midwives are very cautious and will transfer to hospital if there are any concerns. Obviously it is not for everyone, but 60 years ago it was the norm. My sons are too young and I would worry about scaring them if I ended up screaming. But part of me would love a home birth. I am hoping for a pool birth this time.
Sorry this is so long, I feel quite passionately about this as my hypnobirthing was really helpful last time!
Point being, home birth isn't for me: I'm not willing to take that chance. Modern obstetrical and pediatric care has made childbirth safe over the last hundred years. I'm not turning that down.
Seems like for those who are interested in these things, a natural hospital birth with a primary care provider or midwife could provide 90% of the benefit of a home birth with access to advanced care should something go wrong? But really it's all about the small risk of there being a big problem vs. the comfort of being at home: everyone will see that differently and make their own decision.
With DD1, I was having contractions for 2 weeks and we kept going to the hospital and being sent home. At 5 days overdue, at this point 3 weeks of contractions, my ob said we'd induce that week and we went home to decide which day. On Tuesday at 11pm we said, "ok, week induce Thursday" and my water broke as the words came out. I got ready and we went to the hospital. Contractions never got very intense (which I only realized when in labor with my second). I walked, went in the tub, etc. They started me on pitocin but I still didn't progress. After 22 hours they said I needed an epidural to see if that would get things moving. If it didn't, they'd need to do a csection. I was also group b strep positive and getting antibiotics through all this. They gave the epidural and I rested. An hour later I was fully dilated and pushed for 45 minutes. They thought baby had a fever and didn't leg me near her for a day just in case. She was in the nicu for 3 days. I felt bad about a lot of it for a long time. When preparing for DD2, I finally let a lot of it go.
For DD2, I also started contractions very early. This time by a month with no progress. My plan was to stay home until contractions got really bad. That was the game changer for me. When I was a week overdue I was up most of the night with contractions. I timed them but let DH sleep. In the morning I told him to call in sick to work. We got DD1 ready for school and dropped her off. The car died in the lot so DH jumped it. We stopped at dunkin donuts. When we got to the hospital I said we should just go straight to L & d instead of the office (i had an appointment at 9). I was 5cm. I got in the tub and labored there for a while. I was 8cm when I got out and baby was a little stuck. Three nurse had me sir in the toilet and suddenly everything opened and came out and I was ready to push. I told her I was going to have the baby on the toilet like in I didn't know I was pregnant. She picked me up and moved me to the bed. I pushed for 20 minutes and cursed at the doctor. DD2 was delivered on my chest and she nursed. They tried to massage me after to help the uterus contact and stop the bleeding but I was in shock and shaking and didn't want to be touched so they gave me pitocin, which I was annoyed about. For those who said pushing didn't hurt, that was not my experience at all.
I think not worrying about when you need to go to the hospital makes the whole thing easier. In that way, a home birth is appealing. I also hate the iv and you can likely avoid that with a home birth. But I wouldn't do it if I weren't very close to a hospital and also not with other kids there.
@gildah My son's birth was similar. I'm so nervous about how quickly this one might come. Before I woke up at 4:30am with some cramps, had a shower (my water broke, I didn't need know), labour started around 5am and he was born at 7:21. He was perfect and heavenly, but a little less chaos at the hospital this time around would be nice!
https://www.cnn.com/2015/12/01/health/maternal-mortality-rate-u-s-increasing-why/index.html