Sorry, I should've been more precise with my words. Obviously there are a variety of factors involved with stretch marks given that if you don't grow at all it's not like you're going to magically get stretch marks, and everyone is going to have a different threshold for when/where/how quickly that growth needs to take place for stretch marks to occur. Not to mention different skin on different parts of our bodies are going to have more sensitivity to such things given elasticity is not the same across all zones.
But you have limited control over how quickly you gain weight in pregnancy and how concentrated that growth is. If you have genetic risk factors for stretch marks you may get them in pregnancy, and creams aren't going to stop them. If you do not have genetic risk factors for stretch marks, you can gain a ton of weight and likely not get stretch marks - but that cannot be said for loose skin. My mom went from 100 lbs to 180 lbs when she had me at age 40, she never got any stretch marks, and she never used lotion of any kind. My husband gains 5 lbs and is covered in stretch marks.
Dermatologists and PhDs who work in skin science agree that lifestyle factors have a very limited impact on stretch marks. I used to do scientific communications for skincare companies. They all really, really want this not to be the case, they keep studying it in hopes that they can discover a product that can be clinically proven to prevent stretch marks, but it's just not the case. At least not right now.
That said, I have super dry skin, and I am a huge fan of lotion from a comfort perspective. I slather myself in it a million times a day, and I use straight up jojoba oil or grapeseed oil or marula oil whenever I can (sometimes it's messy). My skin is like constantly itchy from being so dry, lol. I can't even imagine how uncomfortable I'll be with a bump.
The bump does get itchy but we'll be past the dry winter months when we're most stretched. I got horribly itchy with my winter baby but not my summer due date baby.
@Llamamama its easier to take an infant out in the hot/warm weather than in the cold winter weather. So less time stuck in the house in the early months. By the time you have big family holidays (Nov & Dec) you could have dropped some of the weight Your maternity leave will be during the months you can enjoy the outdoors/ warmth/ sunlight with your baby Father's Day gifts! If you're doing daycare, the new year typically starts in Aug which means you want have to pay for unused weeks just to hold a spot.
@llamamama14 I'm REALLY excited to be off work for 12 wks during SUMMER! It might make it harder cause I can't relax with babe and send DS to school. But I'm excited to get more time with him AND maybe get him in camps etc that he normally couldn't do cause of work.
me:35 DH:34 DS: born oct 2012 TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16 BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17 BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18 fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
@ffw0617 ah yes, warmer weather also means not having a baby in middle of flu season like I did last year. I was afraid to leave the house. Huge plus to June.
No flu season's a good one I hadn't thought of. I'm also appreciating the arrival of sweatshirt weather in time to cover my blump before the pregnancy is public.
Carbs: @fantasticmrsfox Carbs on carbs on carbs. Especially in the morning. No advice, but I am right there with you.
Stretch marks: @laceybee522 I used Bio Oil before the bump appeared with DD. I didn't get stretch marks, but who knows if the same would have occurred had I used nothing at all. I have stretch marks on my thighs, but not a single one in pregnancy.
Pros of a June baby: @llamamama14 June is nice and far from Christmas! I'm a December baby, and while my parents did a great job differentiating the 2 occasions, the rest of the world does not! Along the lines of what @doxiemoxie212 said, we will miss out on red wine season, but just in time for cold beer season.
Appointment waiting: @burlapandlace same here regarding 30 minutes early. Great. 30 more minutes for me to sit around with a pit in my stomach. Please just show me this baby's heartbeat so that I can actually breathe!
Has anyone used henna while pregnant? From my research it seems to be one of those things that there isn't a lot of evidence based research to say that it is harmful but "to be safe maybe avoid it." I know henna is a safe(r) alternative to hair color, but I'm talking about henna on the skin.
My good friend from HS is getting married this weekend and she is Indian. It is traditional that all the women get together the night before and adorn the bride and do Mehndi which is the henna designs on the palm of your hand.
When I looked it up it seems as though as long as it is natural henna, not black or have essential oils added it should be fine. MH doesn't want me to do it and another friend said "just tell them your work wont allow it" which I have a problem with because any employer that would say they wont allow it would be violating your rights. Also, I don't want to be the only one that doesn't get it. I really want to but I don't want to do it if it is harmful or if MH isn't comfortable with it.
Also, women in India have been doing it for centuries and I'm sure while pregnant.
*TW LC*
Me & MH: 32 DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU) TTC #2: 12/2019 Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
@krashke the one thing with henna I would be worried about is that it has a very high concentration of PPD, which is a pigment molecule in everything from pen ink to dark jeans to hair dye. It’s also one of the top three allergenic materials from a skin perspective (fragrance and nickel are the other two). Skin allergies generally develop the more one is exposed to something, so for instance hair colorists who don’t wear gloves are far more likely to develop an allergy to it than others. And it’s not just an itchy rash, it’s a dangerous, potentially anaphylactic allergy once it develops. Just because you haven’t had a reaction before doesn’t mean you won’t have one now.
I say all this because pregnancy throws everything haywire and there’s some research to suggest allergies are easier, or at least more random, to develop in pregnancy. Henna is one of the most common ways people develop an allergy to PPD, and what an effing pain that allergy would be.
I mean, it’s still rare, I think 1-2% of the population? But still. Something to consider.
(I love henna, though. I used to get it at this town festival every year when I was a kid. )
I mean, you're putting it on your hand, while women in India and other Muslim women put it straight on their bellies and don't seem to have issues. I wouldn't be super worried about it.
@krashke the one thing with henna I would be worried about is that it has a very high concentration of PPD, which is a pigment molecule in everything from pen ink to dark jeans to hair dye. It’s also one of the top three allergenic materials from a skin perspective (fragrance and nickel are the other two). Skin allergies generally develop the more one is exposed to something, so for instance hair colorists who don’t wear gloves are far more likely to develop an allergy to it than others. And it’s not just an itchy rash, it’s a dangerous, potentially anaphylactic allergy once it develops. Just because you haven’t had a reaction before doesn’t mean you won’t have one now.
I say all this because pregnancy throws everything haywire and there’s some research to suggest allergies are easier, or at least more random, to develop in pregnancy. Henna is one of the most common ways people develop an allergy to PPD, and what an effing pain that allergy would be.
I mean, it’s still rare, I think 1-2% of the population? But still. Something to consider.
(I love henna, though. I used to get it at this town festival every year when I was a kid. )
Natural henna doesn't have PPD in it, which is what should be used for henna tattoos. Black henna contains PPD, which is horrible for everyone, pregnant or not.
@krashke - I tried to see if there was anything on a few different databases article/study wise regarding henna and pregnancy, and came up empty handed. I could probably try to delve deeper, but IMHO if I looked through three different (popular) databases and didn't find anything that even talked about henna and pregnancy, I wouldn't be worried, as long as you're being mindful of whether it's natural henna or not.
@izza2 the only caveat is that many things labeled “natural henna” still actually have ppd. I’m not sure there’s a great regulatory agency overseeing it, so it’s still risky...
Ovia app users: the “eye to the future” updates.... like, how far in the future are those? Does anyone know? They seem entirely out of left field and random, and today’s added, “and you may start gaining weight rapidly.” And it’s like, what? Now? Next week? Two months?
@llamamama14 I'm taking 100 mg once a day but that is literally only because I asked the ob I work with and she told me to follow the instructions on the bottle. My understanding is that 100 mg is still under the suggested limit. Check with your ob what they recommend. I may still try to hunt down 25 mg tabs because I'm not positive taking it all at once is helping...
@sabby2 FYI "Vitamin B6 (pyridoxine) causes neuropathy at intakes of 1000 mg per day or more, which is about 800 times the daily intake from foods. There have also been occasional reports of toxicity at intakes of 100-300 mg per day. The US authorities set the no-observed-adverse-effect-level at 200 mg per day and the safe upper limit at 100 mg per day."
I've always had stretch marks on my thighs, but it wasn't until a month before DD1 was born that they appeared on my belly. I thought I had gotten away with it!!
Is anyone else having issues with their SO being supportive. *TW- we had a loss a few months ago. He never really reacted to it. He kept doubting it.* I've been feeling like crap and every time I ask him for help he says I'm being bossy and that he's also tired, etc. Like seriously dude! Idk anybody know how to handle this without throwing something at them!
Also, is anyone here from December 15?
And I had a friend that did henna on her belly. It came out beautiful.
@doxiemoxie212 yes girl that's how I feel. The road to this pregnancy hasn't been easy. Now that I'm finally pregnant it's like I'm on my own. He wasn't super supportive with DD1. I don't know if he's still in shock. I literally wanted to curse at him. I'm trying to be nice, but I don't know how much longer I can.
Re B6. My OB told me to take whatever the pharmacy sold. The pharmacy sold 100mg. The pharmacist told me to take 50mg 3x a day. I feel like the recommendations are all over the place.
@abteamb same (he hasn't called me bossy). This pg is just like the wedding to me. He'll be pretty much unhelpful the entire time, and the month before magically care about everything. The only difference this time is I don't feel guilty about making this about me. With the wedding there was this nag in my conscious like "its his wedding too" (although he did nothing to help plan or execute it). I asked if he wanted to do a photo to publically announce he responded "is that what you want me to want to do?" Then I asked if he wanted to invite over local family & friends for dinner to announce to them, no response. Oh well (I'm not a fan of most of his friend anyway), I have no problem announcing how, when and where I want to announce. I didn't enjoy my engagement at all (my family was in another state, my bridesmaids were in other states, the entire wedding was in another state, and the one person I had here didn't care). I refuse to look to him to make this process enjoyable. If he doesn't care he can stay over there. I've waited my whole life to be a mom, I'm excited I don't need to wait for him to get excited at the last minute to be happy.
@abteamb@ffw0617 have you guys talked to your husbands about how they're making you feel? It's really breaking my heart to hear how they're treating you...
@abteamb when I first found I was pregnant - it was a surprise my SO completely was in shock and kept asking "how did that happen?". He then told me all the things he is NOT looking forward to, which mostly financial stuff as I just got laid off and looking for new job. I can see how timing is really not perfect. Sigh, he has come around and just seems "neutral" about everything. Well, I started spotting and it worries me and I have had blood drawn(good results!) but spotting has not stopped. It still gives me anxiety and worries me everytime and my ob just kept my first u/s saying "as long as there is no heavy bleeding". I am anxiously waiting for next week for first dating u/s on Wednesday. Well, SO is not negative but not positive either, hard to explain - he derails the conversation and makes sure I am not in pain(physically I am not). Perhaps he just doesn't know how to deal with it, so I feel like even mentioning how worried I am is pointless. He can tell I am a little bummed out, but doesn't really talk about it. I guess, indirectly he tries to distract me by suggesting some simple projects to do, or watch a funny movie.
@doxiemoxie212 ehhhh I understand who I married. Me thinking he'd be helpful with the wedding bc it was in his hometown and 80% of the guests were his was my mistake. I made a video of his response when I surprised him with the BFP, that will be the height of his excitement. Can't expect a wedding or a baby to change someone's emotional make up. He doesn't get excited about these things, I knew that when I first met him. He (alone) helped me move after knowing me for 4 days, I offered to cook him dinner, he declined (what man declines dinner?). The next day I cooked up a 4 course meal and invited him over, he declined. The first time he spent the night at my place I made him breakfast in bed, he said he wasn't hungry. He's weird (#facts #kayneshrug). Things don't excite him like it would everyone else. It use to bother me, but I know who I fell in love with. I can't lean on his reactions to make me feel happy. His family is happy, my family is happy, our friends who know are happy, I'm happy. I just am. And thats enough.
@ffw0617 I'm sorry about the wedding. Mine was similar. Everything I asked his opinion was "I don't care. Do what you want." Not helpful! Lol
@doxiemoxie212 I haven't specifically talked to him about it yet. I feel I'm still too emotional that I'll end up saying something wrong and then I'm the bad one.
@abteamb When I feel that way, I spend a day or two writing and rewriting an email to DH. When I feel like it has all of my thoughts properly captured, I send it to him in front of him, and he reads it in front of me, and then we talk about it.
In the past, before we were better at communicating, I would even do it as a shared Google doc instead of an email. That way we could sit next to each other and calmly highlight certain sentences and comment on them, reply to each other's comments, etc. It kept enough of the emotion out of it to allow us some distance and perspective, but we were right next to each other so we could talk to each other if we wanted. I also liked it because we could reference it later.
Guys, wtf do I do. I'm seriously going to lose my mind.
We live in a very large (500+ apts) condo building in NYC (in an apartment we own), and someone, somewhere in the building is smoking cigarettes, and it comes in through our air vents and fills our apartment with cigarette smoke. I have complained to the building about it a hundred times, but because it doesn't smell like cigarettes in any of the hallways, they can't identify which apartment it's coming from since many apartments share the same air vents.
But I am pregnant, and my husband has asthma. Seriously, I am going to lose my isht.
Short of moving (which we want to do, but won't be able to until at the earliest January), does anyone have any ideas of what more we can do?
@abteamb studies have actually shown air purifiers are dangerous because of the levels of ozone.
@doxiemoxie212 I agree maybe anonymous letters to the apartments around you? The issue is if it’s a non smoking building and they already don’t care about that, odds are they won’t care that they’re bothering someone else
Re: Weekly Questions (week of 10/29)
But you have limited control over how quickly you gain weight in pregnancy and how concentrated that growth is. If you have genetic risk factors for stretch marks you may get them in pregnancy, and creams aren't going to stop them. If you do not have genetic risk factors for stretch marks, you can gain a ton of weight and likely not get stretch marks - but that cannot be said for loose skin. My mom went from 100 lbs to 180 lbs when she had me at age 40, she never got any stretch marks, and she never used lotion of any kind. My husband gains 5 lbs and is covered in stretch marks.
Dermatologists and PhDs who work in skin science agree that lifestyle factors have a very limited impact on stretch marks. I used to do scientific communications for skincare companies. They all really, really want this not to be the case, they keep studying it in hopes that they can discover a product that can be clinically proven to prevent stretch marks, but it's just not the case. At least not right now.
That said, I have super dry skin, and I am a huge fan of lotion from a comfort perspective. I slather myself in it a million times a day, and I use straight up jojoba oil or grapeseed oil or marula oil whenever I can (sometimes it's messy). My skin is like constantly itchy from being so dry, lol. I can't even imagine how uncomfortable I'll be with a bump.
1. Pregnant mostly during cool weather but maxi dress season hits right when we get huuuge.
2. You can announce the pregnancy at Christmas. (Or another end of year holiday
3. Easy to dress a summer newborn. Onsie=outfit.
Any more?
On the flip side it wont quite be warm enough yet while were still pg so we wont have to buy maternity swimsuits.
But that's coming from someone in MN.
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
its easier to take an infant out in the hot/warm weather than in the cold winter weather. So less time stuck in the house in the early months.
By the time you have big family holidays (Nov & Dec) you could have dropped some of the weight
Your maternity leave will be during the months you can enjoy the outdoors/ warmth/ sunlight with your baby
Father's Day gifts!
If you're doing daycare, the new year typically starts in Aug which means you want have to pay for unused weeks just to hold a spot.
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
Carbs: @fantasticmrsfox Carbs on carbs on carbs. Especially in the morning. No advice, but I am right there with you.
Stretch marks: @laceybee522 I used Bio Oil before the bump appeared with DD. I didn't get stretch marks, but who knows if the same would have occurred had I used nothing at all. I have stretch marks on my thighs, but not a single one in pregnancy.
Pros of a June baby: @llamamama14 June is nice and far from Christmas! I'm a December baby, and while my parents did a great job differentiating the 2 occasions, the rest of the world does not! Along the lines of what @doxiemoxie212 said, we will miss out on red wine season, but just in time for cold beer season.
Appointment waiting: @burlapandlace same here regarding 30 minutes early. Great. 30 more minutes for me to sit around with a pit in my stomach. Please just show me this baby's heartbeat so that I can actually breathe!
My good friend from HS is getting married this weekend and she is Indian. It is traditional that all the women get together the night before and adorn the bride and do Mehndi which is the henna designs on the palm of your hand.
When I looked it up it seems as though as long as it is natural henna, not black or have essential oils added it should be fine. MH doesn't want me to do it and another friend said "just tell them your work wont allow it" which I have a problem with because any employer that would say they wont allow it would be violating your rights. Also, I don't want to be the only one that doesn't get it. I really want to but I don't want to do it if it is harmful or if MH isn't comfortable with it.
Also, women in India have been doing it for centuries and I'm sure while pregnant.
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
I say all this because pregnancy throws everything haywire and there’s some research to suggest allergies are easier, or at least more random, to develop in pregnancy. Henna is one of the most common ways people develop an allergy to PPD, and what an effing pain that allergy would be.
I mean, it’s still rare, I think 1-2% of the population? But still. Something to consider.
(I love henna, though. I used to get it at this town festival every year when I was a kid.
I mean, you're putting it on your hand, while women in India and other Muslim women put it straight on their bellies and don't seem to have issues. I wouldn't be super worried about it.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
@krashke - I tried to see if there was anything on a few different databases article/study wise regarding henna and pregnancy, and came up empty handed. I could probably try to delve deeper, but IMHO if I looked through three different (popular) databases and didn't find anything that even talked about henna and pregnancy, I wouldn't be worried, as long as you're being mindful of whether it's natural henna or not.
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
I think I am going to do it, after making sure the artist is using natural henna. I'll post pics.
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/16320662/
Is anyone else having issues with their SO being supportive. *TW- we had a loss a few months ago. He never really reacted to it. He kept doubting it.* I've been feeling like crap and every time I ask him for help he says I'm being bossy and that he's also tired, etc. Like seriously dude! Idk anybody know how to handle this without throwing something at them!
Also, is anyone here from December 15?
And I had a friend that did henna on her belly. It came out beautiful.
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
@doxiemoxie212 I haven't specifically talked to him about it yet. I feel I'm still too emotional that I'll end up saying something wrong and then I'm the bad one.
In the past, before we were better at communicating, I would even do it as a shared Google doc instead of an email. That way we could sit next to each other and calmly highlight certain sentences and comment on them, reply to each other's comments, etc. It kept enough of the emotion out of it to allow us some distance and perspective, but we were right next to each other so we could talk to each other if we wanted. I also liked it because we could reference it later.
We live in a very large (500+ apts) condo building in NYC (in an apartment we own), and someone, somewhere in the building is smoking cigarettes, and it comes in through our air vents and fills our apartment with cigarette smoke. I have complained to the building about it a hundred times, but because it doesn't smell like cigarettes in any of the hallways, they can't identify which apartment it's coming from since many apartments share the same air vents.
But I am pregnant, and my husband has asthma. Seriously, I am going to lose my isht.
Short of moving (which we want to do, but won't be able to until at the earliest January), does anyone have any ideas of what more we can do?
can you possibly send a letter to some of the tenants around you? Have you tried one of those air purifier thingyss?
@doxiemoxie212 I agree maybe anonymous letters to the apartments around you? The issue is if it’s a non smoking building and they already don’t care about that, odds are they won’t care that they’re bothering someone else