Ok I have another one. With all the fires in the area, one of the community FB groups I'm in decided to do a children's book collection for all the kids who lost their books on the fire. Now I have almost the entire Babysitters Club series that I was willing to donate. I was told that it's an insult to donate used books, that they expect the books to be brand new because to give someone who lost everything used books is a slap in the face. I was like what? They're not thrashed, they're gently used! They want to get hundreds of books....all brand new! What happens if a kid DID lose their BSC collection? It's not easy to find all of those new. I'm sure they would have loved getting books even if they've been read by someone else.
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DD born 04/28/2002 Married DH 03/25/2017 1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017 BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
That's awfully picky for a group asking for donations @rainafire77!! If those kids lost everything I don't think they will care if it's brand new. They will probably be greatful to have them!
Ok I have another one. With all the fires in the area, one of the community FB groups I'm in decided to do a children's book collection for all the kids who lost their books on the fire. Now I have almost the entire Babysitters Club series that I was willing to donate. I was told that it's an insult to donate used books, that they expect the books to be brand new because to give someone who lost everything used books is a slap in the face. I was like what? They're not thrashed, they're gently used! They want to get hundreds of books....all brand new! What happens if a kid DID lose their BSC collection? It's not easy to find all of those new. I'm sure they would have loved getting books even if they've been read by someone else.
I'll take your BSC series!
Geez... I would think in that situation, they'd be thrilled to get something they can call their own again, especially when it is given with the best intentions.
@rainafire77 wow that is super rude! After Harvey people asked for a lot of new things too which I understand when you're giving used underwear etc but BOOKS? Doesn't everyone know a broken in book is way better than a stiff new one anyway?
OMg there is a person at work, who doesn’t even work in my dept, yet constantly comes over to “chat”. She must smoke like a freight train because the Oder is so strong and then she bathes in perfume to try and cover the smell. The smell just smacks you in the face and I have an instant headache.
@amb929 Here's some conversation advice from someone who took a government-sponsored class in how to have difficult conversations and is NOT a licensed therapist, but found the skills work to diffuse tough situations: Try telling your husband that when your MIL does x, y, and z, or your FIL does x, y, and z (i.e. state the facts) it makes you feel (insert emotion here). And when your H doesn't have your back or doesn't intervene (and cite examples), you feel (insert emotion here). This way you only state facts and how you feel, and don't have any accusations against anyone else. He may get a better understanding of what about their behavior bothers you and why and hopefully step in in the future.
And omg no zeros even when they do zero work? What is wrong with people? No wonder they didn't do the work, there's no consequences!
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
For my WTF Wednesday - why oh why did my top button pop on my shirt. My boobs aren't THAT big yet. So now I have to strategically keep my arms tight so my shirt doesn't open up too much ugh. Really need to keep a sewing kit at work.
@amb929 Here's some conversation advice from someone who took a government-sponsored class in how to have difficult conversations and is NOT a licensed therapist, but found the skills work to diffuse tough situations: Try telling your husband that when your MIL does x, y, and z, or your FIL does x, y, and z (i.e. state the facts) it makes you feel (insert emotion here). And when your H doesn't have your back or doesn't intervene (and cite examples), you feel (insert emotion here). This way you only state facts and how you feel, and don't have any accusations against anyone else. He may get a better understanding of what about their behavior bothers you and why and hopefully step in in the future.
And omg no zeros even when they do zero work? What is wrong with people? No wonder they didn't do the work, there's no consequences!
Thanks @eggplantface! I’m trying this tonight. We are going on day 3 of not speaking (which is only partially related to MIL’s visit) so I think maybe this might help me get my points across about BOTH of his parents!
Not a huge deal, but it annoyed me with my extra sensitive nose.
Today, while I was waiting for my son’s bus, a car drove by reeking of pot. WTF, if your car leaves a Pig Pen like trail of pot smell while you are traveling over 35 mph, you might have a problem.
I am not against smoking pot. I see it like alcohol. It is legal here, but just like you can not drink or have open containers in cars, you can’t have have any open pot in your car, parked or not. No need for your car to reek as you are traveling down the road with your windows up.
I am in the middle of parent teacher conferences and just had a family come in who let their children destroy my classroom. Literally, throwing books, took my drying rack apart, using my pointers as baseball bats--all while screaming. At the end, the mom laughed and said, "I bet your son acts like that, too, so you are used to it". Umm, no lady. Now clean this shit up.
I am in the middle of parent teacher conferences and just had a family come in who let their children destroy my classroom. Literally, throwing books, took my drying rack apart, using my pointers as baseball bats--all while screaming. At the end, the mom laughed and said, "I bet your son acts like that, too, so you are used to it". Umm, no lady. Now clean this shit up.
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DD born 04/28/2002 Married DH 03/25/2017 1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017 BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
@magnolia305 ummmm no. Same issue with play dates. When people let their kids destroy my house, they don't get invited back.
I'm on day 3 of my cold. I am miserable and that's annoying. DD slept like shit last night and was pretty snotty and puffy today. I think it's finally getting her hard too. I just want some rest.
@magnolia305 I get that kids mess things up and my son has been a menace in public but man am I ever embarrassed when my kid just will not listen!! I would have continually apologized as I cleaned up your room!! If someone came into my class and did that I would be pissed!!
I sent in a cheque to buy back my pension from my last maternity leave so that I won't have to pay the interest on top of the years worth of pension payments, and they still haven't taken it out! I have until November 6th and then I own the internet on top of my payment! They received the cheque on Oct 4th and it still has not been processed!! Grrr!
Because my husband told the dealership we had been ‘considering’ trading in our vehicle they have contacted us no less than 13 times in the last week to come in to talk to them. Harassment much?!
@magnolia305 I get that kids mess things up and my son has been a menace in public but man am I ever embarrassed when my kid just will not listen!! I would have continually apologized as I cleaned up your room!! If someone came into my class and did that I would be pissed!!
I completely understand when parents bring their kids to conferences--it's hard to get a babysitter for a 15 minute conference. I understand kids are excited and want to play with everything. These kids were full on destroying things--then the parents just left. My son can be a turd, too--but I make sure we pick up, as well Today, I am getting playdoh out and pointing the kiddos who come in towards that table. Live and learn!
DH gets home doesn't say a single word to me sits down on the couch after changing out of work clothes and still not a single word. I eventually say that his feet smell awful (seriously so bad) and he storms off to the bathroom still not having said a single word. Like who the hell is the hormonal pregnant one here?!
H keeps talking about taking trips while I'm on maternity leave since I'm "off work already." I keep telling him that traveling with a newborn isn't easy and we should wait until he's older and can be left with grandparents. Then H gets pissy and says we need to keep "living our lives" and shouldn't stop doing "fun things" because we have a baby. I keep pointing out the stop in travel is really only a pause and won't be forever, and tell him he as to accept SOME change because we had a baby, for crying out loud. And the trips he's talking about involve flying. With a newborn. Just so much no. Will he accept the reality of life with a baby once baby's born? Will he finally get it and stop trying to vacation like a child-free person?
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
H keeps talking about taking trips while I'm on maternity leave since I'm "off work already." I keep telling him that traveling with a newborn isn't easy and we should wait until he's older and can be left with grandparents. Then H gets pissy and says we need to keep "living our lives" and shouldn't stop doing "fun things" because we have a baby. I keep pointing out the stop in travel is really only a pause and won't be forever, and tell him he as to accept SOME change because we had a baby, for crying out loud. And the trips he's talking about involve flying. With a newborn. Just so much no. Will he accept the reality of life with a baby once baby's born? Will he finally get it and stop trying to vacation like a child-free person?
Once the baby gets here he's not going to want to go anywhere. He's going to be tired. You never know what kind of baby you're going to get PLUS who wants to travel with a new baby during sick season? No thanks!
And on the "when will he get it" topic, for my husband it wasn't until they pulled that baby out of me that it totally clicked. I don't know about your husband but mine just couldn't wrap his head around it. Like, yes my wife is pregnant, we have a nursery and bottles and everything else but since he wasn't the pregnant one it never felt super real to him if that makes sense?
We are actually planning to take both kiddos to Disney beginning of May. I think it is easiest to fly with kids when they are young. That being said maternity leave is definetly not just a vacation. I wouldn’t want to plan any trips longer than an hr or so away for the first 6-8weeks. You can always Reevaluate after baby is born depending on how delivery/recovery goes, how baby sleeps, etc
@eggplantface, while doing just about anything with a newborn isn't easy, we actually found it fairly easy to travel with DS1 from about 6 weeks through 6 months. While a far cry from childless traveling, it's totally manageable. The biggest pain is having to travel with baby gear or arranging for it ahead of time (cribs at a hotel, etc.) but we found it much easier to travel with our son as a baby than we do now, as a toddler. We flew cross country with DS1 at 2 months--totally manageable--and the thought of doing it now with a toddler makes me want to drink heavily. Totally agree it's different to fly with a newborn at the height of cold/flu season, and I'm in no way suggesting things get easier once you have a baby, just wanted to offer some words of encouragement that there is actually a pretty good travel window early on!
@eggplantface my DH was originally looking at his FMLA leave as a vacation and thought we would leave the hospital and spend a couple months in the mountains. After I laughed in his face, I told him flat out that just wasn’t going to happen.
That said, many friends have talked about how wonderful the “luggage phase” of having kids is. So, I’m with you. Travel for us will take a good pause, but will pick back up after a few months.
@GoogleMD@psm2462 I'm a FTM so my only experience with babies on planes is when they're on the plane crying their heads off. Do newborns handle planes better than infants, or is it a case-by-case basis? I just picture the plane taking off and the baby wailing for hours on end. I also don't really know what it's actually like to take care of a newborn so I'm hesitant to be away from home and then not have what I need. I appreciate the reassuring stories!
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@eggplantface take off and landing is the hardest part with babies since they can't pop their own ears. If they have a bottle, boob, or paci they're usually okay. I've never flown with a newborn but I do imagine it would be easier than flying with an older kid. I flew solo with DD when she was 11 months old and she did pretty well. We flew again a few months later and she wasn't that great but I had help and YouTube lol.
@eggplantface We took my son to Disney at 7 months. It was pretty much a piece of cake. @SarahFoley725 is right. Give them a Paci, bottle, breastfeed during takeoff and not only are they seemingly comfortable but they'll fall asleep. It's all about timing it and knowing when you're child is likely to eat/sleep. If you can plan it that way that they'll have a bottle and take a nap, the flight is easy peasy. We had no problem.
Flying with a toddler is a nightmare. The death dagger stares coming our way this past summer... especially from the lady in front of us whose chair was kicked for all of 5 mins before we turned the car seat around so he was rear facing and unable to kick anyone... she still complained the entire way off the plane hours later about what b bad parents we were.
@eggplantface I'm sure it's case-by-case, but nursing/bottle/pacifier during take off and landing seemed to do the trick to keep our kiddo's ears happy. Otherwise, the sound of the plane pretty much lulled him to sleep. And, even when he was awake, at that age he was content to just snuggle in my lap. As far as other aspects of travel, I also felt he was easy to travel with at that age because he wasn't eating solid foods yet (whether breast or bottle feeding, their food is portable and you don't have to do much advance planning), still slept well in a car seat/stroller/carrier, and wasn't yet on a precise nap or sleep schedule where travel would have been disruptive.
Of course, it's always challenging to be out or your own space and routine without your usual gear, but having a young baby was far less disruptive to travel, near and far, than I had expected it to be! That being said, your whole life is somewhat upside-down for the first month to six weeks or so, so as someone else suggested above, I wouldn't plan any real travel when baby is brand new
@eggplantface traveling with babies is pretty easy, but i don't know if you are going to feel up to it right away. Giving birth is tiring and the 1st week or 2 afterwards your body is going through a lot - bleeding, night sweats, exhaustion, learning your milk supply, etc. I wouldn't want to travel then.
I dont know how long your breaks from work are, but you could plan some long weekends after baby is 6 weeks or so. Just remember that babies take time to feed, diaper, etc. And imo it takes twice as long to get ready when you are readying s baby and yourself.
There is no reason to leave baby behind when traveling, you just have to learn to travel a little differently.
We roadtripped with DS when he was a month old and he was super easy to travel with, his gear was the main thing that made the trip a bit more difficult! I couldn’t believe how much stuff we had to pack for him, but maybe we just were terrible at packing haha. It does just depend on what kind of sleeper/eater LO ends up being and how well they tolerate their car seat for longer stretches of time. I wouldn’t have wanted to travel in the first month simply because my PP recovery/breastfeeding beginnings were pretty uncomfortable and I needed all sorts of crap to manage my own self that would have been annoying if I wasn’t in my own house. I needed to take an epsom salt bath every day and I got mastitis and a major UTI after delivery (stupid induction) so I was basically a waddling sleep deprived zombie mom the first few weeks! Lol
Married 6/1/13
BFP #1 7/2013 MMC 9/17/13
BFP #2 5/2014 MC 6/15/14
BFP #3 11/13/14 (Found in ER with ruptured cyst) Diagnosed MC 11/15/14
BFP #4 4/2015 MC 7/1/15
BFP #5 10/21/15 EDD 7/3/16 Praying for our rainbow!
I think is pretty easy to travel with a newborn, especially if you time the flight during nap time. I am far more stressed about traveling to Disney with my then 2.5 yo than I am to travel with the 2or3 month old. Like others have aside the down side with a newborn is really all the crap they need.
I was super nervous the first time I was flying with DD at 6mo. It was a piece of cake other than the baby gear like others have said. I was flying by myself but I just made sure to have extra of everything in my carry on bag just in case of getting stuck in the airport etc. Even at 1 it isn't too bad but she also sleeps the whole flight even if it's during the day.
I hate my job lately and the only reason I'm staying is because of the paid maternity leave/FMLA... Its so stressful and my manager isnt supportive. Sorry to say three months with baby is the only thing keeping me going...
@eggplantface I agree with everyone else! Flying with a newborn is great! My DS was born Nov 15th and I flew home alone with him on Dec 10th. So he was super young!! I think I was out of my mind but I wanted to be home for Christmas and my DH met us at my parents 2 weeks later! We have flown with our DS 16 times in the past 2 years and our last flight was the worst! It was a 9pm flight and he was so overtired and screamed the whole time! I cried because nothing I did helped the crying and I was so embarrassed! Every other flight the sound of the engines actually put him to sleep! I would recommend flying when they are young and be prepared for the worst and hope it goes okay!
Re: Monday and Beyond B*tchfest | 10.23
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
Geez... I would think in that situation, they'd be thrilled to get something they can call their own again, especially when it is given with the best intentions.
And omg no zeros even when they do zero work? What is wrong with people? No wonder they didn't do the work, there's no consequences!
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
my bump also doubled in size and I feel like a big water balloon. Sorry no HDBD because pants are lame.
Can i I just have a Bitchfest about being pregnant in general.
Ill feel better after DH comes home with Olive Garden. I’m seriously so hangry.
Today, while I was waiting for my son’s bus, a car drove by reeking of pot. WTF, if your car leaves a Pig Pen like trail of pot smell while you are traveling over 35 mph, you might have a problem.
I am not against smoking pot. I see it like alcohol. It is legal here, but just like you can not drink or have open containers in cars, you can’t have have any open pot in your car, parked or not. No need for your car to reek as you are traveling down the road with your windows up.
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
I'm on day 3 of my cold. I am miserable and that's annoying. DD slept like shit last night and was pretty snotty and puffy today. I think it's finally getting her hard too. I just want some rest.
If someone came into my class and did that I would be pissed!!
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
And on the "when will he get it" topic, for my husband it wasn't until they pulled that baby out of me that it totally clicked. I don't know about your husband but mine just couldn't wrap his head around it. Like, yes my wife is pregnant, we have a nursery and bottles and everything else but since he wasn't the pregnant one it never felt super real to him if that makes sense?
That said, many friends have talked about how wonderful the “luggage phase” of having kids is. So, I’m with you. Travel for us will take a good pause, but will pick back up after a few months.
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
Flying with a toddler is a nightmare. The death dagger stares coming our way this past summer... especially from the lady in front of us whose chair was kicked for all of 5 mins before we turned the car seat around so he was rear facing and unable to kick anyone... she still complained the entire way off the plane hours later about what b bad parents we were.
Of course, it's always challenging to be out or your own space and routine without your usual gear, but having a young baby was far less disruptive to travel, near and far, than I had expected it to be! That being said, your whole life is somewhat upside-down for the first month to six weeks or so, so as someone else suggested above, I wouldn't plan any real travel when baby is brand new
I dont know how long your breaks from work are, but you could plan some long weekends after baby is 6 weeks or so. Just remember that babies take time to feed, diaper, etc. And imo it takes twice as long to get ready when you are readying s baby and yourself.
There is no reason to leave baby behind when traveling, you just have to learn to travel a little differently.
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
I am far more stressed about traveling to Disney with my then 2.5 yo than I am to travel with the 2or3 month old.
Like others have aside the down side with a newborn is really all the crap they need.
DD angel baby 10/16
Rainbow Due 02/20/18