I am pretty ashamed to admit it, but my past eating disorder issues are getting to me more than they have in years. My doctor is starting to get concerned that I am losing weight, and it felt so GOOD to hear her say that.. It's so messed up, and it is absolutely not an option to let this harm the kid, but it hit me unexpectedly. I had this under control for so long (I have actually been a little overweight for about 5 years). So frustrating to suddenly deal with something I thought I had conquered.
I'm pretty ashamed that my very first reaction wasn't concern and immediate planning to remedy it.
@ngolimento I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that. I think it's great that you're so aware of your feelings and working on them. Feeling for you
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013 Started TTC August 2016 BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17 BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17 BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18 BFP: 2/27/20
@ngolimento I have no history of an eating disorder but in the early part of past pregnancies when my doctor expressed concern about my weight, part me felt strangely proud of it as well. I think a lot of it is just the constant bombardment from society that smaller is better, even in pregnancy which is so absurd. As @hedgepig said, good for you for giving voice to those feelings and dealing with them.
Mine: My husband got us tickets to the World Series tonight and surprised me. I have been an Astros fan my entire life so I am excited. Except there's this large pregnant portion of me that is really resentful I won't be able to go to sleep by 10 PM (likely it will be after midnight! Ughhh).
I'm an ungrateful biotch, I know. Flame away.
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@linsye oh man, that would have been my reaction too! Someone suggested a really fun party for Halloween (which is my birthday) and I was like what are you talking about, I won't get home until after 10pm, are you mental? I know this is unlikely, but can your husband make time in his schedule today so you can take a nap?
@ngolimento I had some issues with disordered eating when I was younger, and I still have a... challenging relationship with food. I have to admit, I would have had your exact reaction if my doctor said that to me. So count me in as needing to work on some of these issues still. I know how frustrating it is when you think you've mentally conquered something. Sending you hugs and hopefully you can show yourself some compassion. I think if you are super hard and judgey on yourself, that can make the feelings of low self-worth even worse and exacerbate the issue. Please be kind to yourself!
@stalkinghorse unfortunately not - he is leaving work early anyway so we can sit in an uber in an hour of gridlock traffic to get to the stadium on time. This is me smiling - I promise!
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@ngolimento I have never had to deal with an eating disorder so I can't relate but i'm glad you are aware of your feelings. Sending you good thoughts that you get through this.
@ngolimento I'm glad you're aware of what's going on and I hope you can take steps to keep yourself healthy!
@lindsye Hahaha, I would totally have the same reaction! Something super fun? Neat! Oh, it prevents me from seeing my bed until 9pm or later..... no thanks.
AFM, I'm starting to hate that, just because I'm KU, everyone now expects that I love their kids (or anyone's kids) and want to "practice" my parenting skills. No, I still don't really like other people's kids and I'm just praying that I'll like my own. Keep your little ankle biters away from me.
In reality there are a few, select kids that I like.... but being KU certainly doesn't make me swoon over every baby or toddler that crosses my path.
@lund I am exactly the same way with other people's kids. I have never liked or interacted with children before getting KU. Of course MY kids are amazing and wonderful .
I did find that once I had a baby, other babies were suddenly way more interesting and made me warm and fuzzy whereas I used to not notice them at all. It's like a switch flipped in my brain.
@lindsye I literally feel that way about everything we are invited to... my first thought is "how can I leave early?" which makes me feel guilty. @ngolimento I'm sorry you are dealing with a resurfacing issue. Pregnancy is complicated enough!! Wishing you the best.
@lindsye if I'm expected to do anything after 5 I legitimately get upset!
@lund I actually used to like kids before having a kid. Now I want the all to stay away except my own. I had to babysit for a friend last week and he was well behaved but so literally hated every minute of it. People always seem to think if you have kids then you enjoy them. Eh wrong!
My FFFC is I cannot stand pictures of kissing couples on facebook!! Like seriously everyone knows your dating/married and we do not need to see you kiss.
@lund I totally agree. Like @ngolimento said, once you have a kid that same age I feel like you can at least speak the language, which for me now means that for every kid over the age 5, I have no idea what to talk about with them.
But being able to speak the language does not mean that you're going to love all of them. Let's say just for instance that I truly like/vibe with maybe 5% of the people I meet; why would kids be substantially different? They're just miniature people, after all, and I am not destined to love every single one I encounter.
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@zombiemom1318 I'm the same way about other people's kids since having my own. I love DS to death and I cannot get enough of him, but now other people's kids just seem like extra work.
My FFFC is that since I've been pregnant I love the smell of cigarette smoke. Which I know is so incredibly disgusting, and I do have enough common since to avoid it whenever I can. But suddenly it smells...good. Wtf, nose?
@ngolimento my last pregnancy, I gained a lot of weight quickly. At one appt, my OB (total jerk on the verge of retiring) says: ”you should work on your push backs.” me: “my what?” him: “you know, pushing yourself back from the table”.
That made the rest of the pregnancy pretty much suck and I was always hyper aware of my weight gain. It was like a giant sad cloud over the rest of the pregnancy.
You are doing what’s best for you and the baby to keep yourselves healthy. That’s the best thing you can do!!
@lund couldn't agree more. When I was pregnant with DD my brother and his wife kept trying to get me to change their DD diaper so I could "Practice" and i always told them I would get plenty of practice when my child comes around. People can be super annoying
My FFFC: I used my credit card (the one my husband can't see the charges on) to buy cheese fries from Outback because they sounded so good. I only did it because he knew I brought my lunch to work today because i yelled at him for trying to throw it out last night. So if he saw the charge on our joint card he would think I didn't eat my lunch I brought. Which I did it eat.....some of it anyways because cheese fries sounded so much better.
FFFC: I just spend the week in Disney with my ENTIRE family and in-laws (10 adults and 8 children). To say I was miserable would be an understatement. DS is only 2.5 and we got guilted into going. He was waaaaay too young, didn’t nap the entire time and was scared of most rides - and the rides he did enjoy he would pitch a fit as soon as we got off bc he didn’t get the concept it was over. It was as hectic and exhausting as you would imagine. So, what did I do on my first day home? I climbed over the large mound of laundry, dropped my son off at daycare and spent 2 glorious hours at the spa where I then proceeded to buy out the shop with lotions and creams. Zero guilt! Oh and DS’s daycare has a Halloween party this afternoon (no costumes, that shitshow of a parade will be happening tomorrow) but the teacher asked if I would be going and I said “nope” as I waved goodbye. That would mean I would have to take him home early and not get to enjoy the rest of my day off. See ya at 4:30 kiddo! Mama loves you!!
mikkimikey Worst thing I've heard...probably ever about a pregnant lady. My goodness lol
kaymaroo You liking the smell is so odd! I've had SUCH aversions to smell its crazy, if someone comes into the bathroom stall besides me that even remotely smells like smoke I have to evacuate ASAP. lol
@btm013 oh man, I don't blame you for one second for the spa OR for skipping the Halloween party today. A week at Disney with a 2.5 year old and extended family sounds like hell. I have family in Florida and they keep pressuring us to bring the kids and meet them at Disney. That would big a big NOPE. They're 1 and 2.5, and my 2.5 year old would be exactly as yours was -- scared of a lot (including the Disney characters walking around) and pissed the rides he likes have to end. Throw in 3578° heat and there's just no way. I commend you for surviving that!
FFFC: I'm a total bitch when my husband comes down with a man cold. I have no doubt he's sick, but I have ZERO sympathy when it comes down to getting shit done around the house. I know all he wants is to be coddled a little bit, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I get so resentful knowing that if I was the one sick, there's absolutely no choice but to buck up and take care of the kids and get everyone where they need to be every single day. Save your over-the-top coughing and moaning for someone who has time to listen to it.
****This rant brought to you by a woman who has watched her husband dramatically collapse on the couch after work for three straight days
haha right @saralee797-2 I usually only use my card every once in a while and pay it off so I can help my credit. But lately I have being buying food and I even bought tickets to Niall Horan's concert next August with it. Which I think my husband knows I bought those tickets with my card because I told him I was going and he clearly didn't see the charge on our joint card.
@Dumbgurl04 I use mine to online shop It is mostly because I have the numbers memorized but him not seeing every charge is an added bonus haha I also use it for birthday and Christmas presents to keep them a surprise. OMG @kmalls my H had a cold when I was in the first tri and I had absolutely NO sympathy. Like there is no way possible you could feel as crappy as me. Get over it.
@kmalls same exact thing happening over here. My H is such a drama queen when he is sick.
Whenever you ask him how he's feeling, he gets this faraway lost look, like he doesn't know if he'll ever be normal... Babe, you're fine. Your job lets you roll into work wherever you want, and bc I have a tracker on the dog, I know you left the house an hour late to drop him off at dog daycare. Quit playing.
lol @stalkinghorse. I don't know how other moms feel, but my son so far has a substantially lower pain tolerance than either of my girls, so maybe it is in the genes. Whoever termed women the gentler or weaker sex definitely didn't know what they were talking about; one of us was made to survive childbirth and one of us... obviously was not.
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@kmalls DO NOT GO!! Fight the guilt and pressure! It’s so not worth it when they are that young! I know my family will want to go in 2-3 years and I refuse. Not until this baby is at the very least 4. Four or five would be ideal.
@zombiemom1318 I was years and years ago, but since I quit I've always hated the smell...until now. And I'm with you on skunks; even when I'm not pregnant I think they smell good. So clearly the problem is just that my nose is psychotic.
ETA: I have zero desire to actually smoke, and not just because I know it's bad for baby and me. It's just that it somehow, for whatever reason, smells good.
@kmallsyou aren't alone with having zero interest in coddling man-colds. I am a terrible wife and never coddle my hubby. He is always bitching about how tired he is (after 9 hours of sleep), or that he slept on his neck wrong and needs a massage (happens once a week), or how he has the sniffles and had better lie down so they don't get worse.
Every time he pulls something like that, I know I'm a jerk for giving him the biggest eyeroll humanity has ever seen, but goddamn, grow up dude. Our 2 year old handles herself in a more manly way.
@kaymaroo I quit smoking almost 4 years ago (after smoking for 3 years) and have NEVER craved a cigarette since, until I got KU! The smell bothers me still though.. Pregnancy makes us weird. Also just a note: Despite the craving, I would NEVER smoke while pregnant (or ever again)!
@Sissy42 there have been some great games, haven't there??? Of course, if they'd ended up losing last night, I would probably be less positive right now. Speaking of which, I am so glad we went Friday night and not last night - I really don't know if I could have stayed awake for that one!
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@ngolimento I 100% know what you mean and have been through similar experiences. I actually just got out of a 1 year treatment stay about 6 months before I got pregnant. If you want to talk, feel free to PM me!
sparklingdiamond
member
Re: FFFC
I'm pretty ashamed that my very first reaction wasn't concern and immediate planning to remedy it.
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20
Mine:
My husband got us tickets to the World Series tonight and surprised me. I have been an Astros fan my entire life so I am excited. Except there's this large pregnant portion of me that is really resentful I won't be able to go to sleep by 10 PM (likely it will be after midnight! Ughhh).
I'm an ungrateful biotch, I know. Flame away.
@ngolimento I had some issues with disordered eating when I was younger, and I still have a... challenging relationship with food. I have to admit, I would have had your exact reaction if my doctor said that to me. So count me in as needing to work on some of these issues still. I know how frustrating it is when you think you've mentally conquered something. Sending you hugs and hopefully you can show yourself some compassion. I think if you are super hard and judgey on yourself, that can make the feelings of low self-worth even worse and exacerbate the issue. Please be kind to yourself!
@lindsye Hahaha, I would totally have the same reaction! Something super fun? Neat! Oh, it prevents me from seeing my bed until 9pm or later..... no thanks.
AFM,
I'm starting to hate that, just because I'm KU, everyone now expects that I love their kids (or anyone's kids) and want to "practice" my parenting skills. No, I still don't really like other people's kids and I'm just praying that I'll like my own. Keep your little ankle biters away from me.
In reality there are a few, select kids that I like.... but being KU certainly doesn't make me swoon over every baby or toddler that crosses my path.
I did find that once I had a baby, other babies were suddenly way more interesting and made me warm and fuzzy whereas I used to not notice them at all. It's like a switch flipped in my brain.
@ngolimento I'm sorry you are dealing with a resurfacing issue. Pregnancy is complicated enough!! Wishing you the best.
@lindsye if I'm expected to do anything after 5 I legitimately get upset!
@lund I actually used to like kids before having a kid. Now I want the all to stay away except my own. I had to babysit for a friend last week and he was well behaved but so literally hated every minute of it. People always seem to think if you have kids then you enjoy them. Eh wrong!
My FFFC is I cannot stand pictures of kissing couples on facebook!! Like seriously everyone knows your dating/married and we do not need to see you kiss.
But being able to speak the language does not mean that you're going to love all of them. Let's say just for instance that I truly like/vibe with maybe 5% of the people I meet; why would kids be substantially different? They're just miniature people, after all, and I am not destined to love every single one I encounter.
My FFFC is that since I've been pregnant I love the smell of cigarette smoke. Which I know is so incredibly disgusting, and I do have enough common since to avoid it whenever I can. But suddenly it smells...good. Wtf, nose?
”you should work on your push backs.”
me: “my what?”
him: “you know, pushing yourself back from the table”.
That made the rest of the pregnancy pretty much suck and I was always hyper aware of my weight gain. It was like a giant sad cloud over the rest of the pregnancy.
You are doing what’s best for you and the baby to keep yourselves healthy. That’s the best thing you can do!!
My FFFC: I used my credit card (the one my husband can't see the charges on) to buy cheese fries from Outback because they sounded so good. I only did it because he knew I brought my lunch to work today because i yelled at him for trying to throw it out last night. So if he saw the charge on our joint card he would think I didn't eat my lunch I brought. Which I did it eat.....some of it anyways because cheese fries sounded so much better.
kaymaroo You liking the smell is so odd! I've had SUCH aversions to smell its crazy, if someone comes into the bathroom stall besides me that even remotely smells like smoke I have to evacuate ASAP. lol
****This rant brought to you by a woman who has watched her husband dramatically collapse on the couch after work for three straight days
OMG @kmalls my H had a cold when I was in the first tri and I had absolutely NO sympathy. Like there is no way possible you could feel as crappy as me. Get over it.
Whenever you ask him how he's feeling, he gets this faraway lost look, like he doesn't know if he'll ever be normal... Babe, you're fine. Your job lets you roll into work wherever you want, and bc I have a tracker on the dog, I know you left the house an hour late to drop him off at dog daycare. Quit playing.
Me: 29 DH: 35
Married 5/3/14, TTC ever since
DX: Lean PCOS, Clomid resistant
Femara 7.5 + Ovidrel = BFP! Due 4/15/18
ETA: I have zero desire to actually smoke, and not just because I know it's bad for baby and me. It's just that it somehow, for whatever reason, smells good.
Every time he pulls something like that, I know I'm a jerk for giving him the biggest eyeroll humanity has ever seen, but goddamn, grow up dude. Our 2 year old handles herself in a more manly way.