This is a safe space for those who are pregnant after a loss. General TW for this thread.
How far along are you?
Any appointments coming up?
How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
GTKY: Since we are 2 months from Christmas!!! What is your favourite holiday tradition?
Re: PGAL Check In (week of Oct. 25)
We don't have many traditions yet, but my mom and I always watch It's A Wonderful Life on Christmas morning after we have brunch and I love it. I look forward to coming up with my own traditions though!
@BrittnieMariee we watch Its a Wonderful Life too...classic
@syssa-o I think that is awesome you are moving...! you can always decorate as soon as you move in to make the place feel extra homey.
@justkeeptrying thanks for keeping this thread going!
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
Oooh I LOVE Christmas!!! I don’t know if I can pick one favorite tradition, sooo... I love going to the tree farm and decorating while listening to Christmas music. We have a family Christmas night where we bake, make gingerbread (graham cracker) houses, and watch a Christmas movie, and we always get new jammies that we crawl into on Christmas Eve and take a picture in! Christmas is my favorite.
21+5
Regular OB appointment tomorrow and hopefully he will confirm everything is good with the anatomy scan from last week.
I’m okay this week. Today I am just really exhausted and that’s making it a long day. I’ve been struggling with the two year old this week and that makes me mentally tired too.
I have restrained myself from decorating the house while I’m rearranging and organizing for 2.0. Barely. Lol. If I didn’t have my sister and Aunt coming in a couple weeks I would have anyway. I think when they leave I will start putting up my trees. Haha.
It is so hard to pick just one but last year, the highlight of the whole season for me was when DS woke up Christmas morning to do Santa. It was our first Christmas at home and his first Christmas where he was old enough to understand presents even if he doesn’t understand Santa yet. I loved celebrating with just the three of us—a Christmas Eve baking cookies and going to the candlelight service at church and then cinnamon rolls for Christmas brunch and steaks for Christmas dinner. I grew up doing two big family dinners on Christmas and while I miss that and am a little sad that my LOs won’t get that experience. But it’s really special to make our own little family traditions and memories.
@justkeeptrying I am soaking up every single movement too and trying not to be neurotic about it. But it’s all amazing. Also, kudos to you for hosting Boxing Day so pregnant. I’m impressed.
@syssa-o T&P for next Thursday. That sounds absolutely exhausting physically and mentally. Sending hugs your way. I hope everything is smooth and gives you some peace of mind—which gets rid of those dreams. Ps, I’m glad I’m not the only one who wants to decorate in mid-November. Usually I start on Black Friday but I blame pregnancy hormones for why I’m ready so early this year.
@BrittnieMariee isn’t it funny how they have little personalities already?? I love that she is giving you so much sass.
@senora76 I love her name! Nova is a beautiful name and I think she is just what you need to cope with the next few months. I like that you can look at her as being sent from Mars because she is not a replacement. also, I want to come to your house and eat!
@chasingroygbiv ugh. This one is head down, I’m still pretty sure. He was last week at the anatomy scan. But my hips have been really bad a couple of times. I’m sorry you are having so much discomfort. Hopefully she picks a different position soon. I miss going and picking out our tree. It’s kind of hard to do in the desert. That was my favorite thing to do in England.
@mdfarmchick Come over! haha - there will be PLENTY of food!
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
20wks today - HALFWAY - WOOOOOO
A/S is in 12hrs and 22 minutes! tonite morning at 10am- so excited time see this little one again. Really hoping he/she cooperates and we can learn the sex! I don't think I can wait even one more day!
Pretty good i think - I get nervous some days when i don't feel baby kicks and wiggles, but on reflection, its usually on days that I'm super busy and distracted that i don't feel the baby. I think I'm just not focused on those days and as kicks are still gentle, I'm not noticing them. When I slow down i usually feel them again
oh god so many! i would be here all day. But if I had to pick one, it would be decorating my tree. I inherited all my ornaments from my aunt and my tree is actually beautiful every year. Not to toot my own horn, but it's pretty spectacular
i am the grinch mostly, working Christmas retail years ago killed all Christmas music for me and family drama on my dad’s side and between my husband and one of his sisters has made me dread a series of days of eating meals where other people are getting along poorly all around me. I LOVED my little heathen secular christmas as a child with my mom and me and her mom and food and presents and no pressure. I hope we can create something lovely like that for Romeo in our home.
sorry for rambling!
@leilaquinn @chasingroygbiv and some others on here found out later in their pregnancy that baby was further along than they thought but chose to stay here because they were already part of the community here. I hope your blood pressure calms down so that baby can cook as long as he needs to in there.
I was tracking my cycles peeing on sticks obsessively and had a +OPK on 7/6, 7/7 & 7/8 plus I had accupuncture on 7/8 and they did the e-stim so I know I had to have laid an egg that day... I had my 2nd appt with an RE when I was already pregnant and in addition to telling me I had low egg reserve and "the face of a 30 year old but the eggs of a 45 year old" and that I have a 40% chance of miscarriage and he swore up and down that I wasn't due until at least April 3 based on LMP... all my measurements have put me between 3/28 - 3/31 so they officially changed my due date to 3/31. I know anything is possible, but since I had Mars 10 days early and Vance 5 WEEKS early, and am 4TM at age 41, I am pretty certain I will go in March... Due dates are really just an estimation anyway...
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
So far I've kept my pregnancy news as private as I can. My immediate family, my co-workers (can't hide the bump anymore and need assistance with lifting and other things at work), and only one of my friends knows about it. I feel guilty for being so secretive about my pregnancy, but if something goes wrong it will be less people asking about what happened.
I would have to say cooking and baking as a family. We don't have big get-togethers and prefer a more intimate, laid-back day. It's been like this since I was a child. We don't make such a big deal since it's also near the anniversary (3 days after Christmas) of my younger sister's passing. We just like being together and talking/laughing.
i understand not wanting to tell too many people. We just started telling at just over 18 weeks because it was quite obvious. I’m trying to relax about others knowing, but it’s hard.
One year ago today we officially miscarried our little Olivia. We had found out in September that we had a missed miscarriage. And then my body wouldn't cooperate and I finally took meds on Oct. 30th to get the miscarriage going. It was one of the worst days of my life.
I have a mix of emotions today. Some making me feel guilty that I'm not feeling more emotional today. I've just grieved so much lately passing due dates, loss dates, milestones with this pregnancy. It's exhausting but I also want/NEED to remember.
Sorry for the vent.
@justkeeptrying I am sorry its a rough time... As we inch closer to November I am slowly losing my sanity too. I wish I could make it all better for you... Waking up to it cold and misty was enough if a trigger for me and I spent much of this weekend uncontrollably sobbing and thinking about the day we lost Mars and I’m completely self destructing... I pushed my parents away and told them not to come visit me (when they had planned to saturday) and then I felt guilty for doing so... But I couldnt help it... My mother pisses me off somehow by making it seem like her wounds are worse because she is mourning a grandchild and also being pushed away by her grieving daughter... Grief can be so ugly and competitive sometimes... I’m totally triggered by her because she has no idea what it feels like to lose a child or to be a single mother with an uncapible ex...
Sorry @justkeeptrying I really started out by wanting to comfort you and I made it all about me!!! I’m having a rough time too... I hate that you are as well. My heart hears yours mama with all the triggers
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
I remember coming home from the hospital after miscarrying and having to comfort her because she didn't realize I had actually miscarried and thought we were still waiting for a confirmation ultrasound to know what was happening. I felt sick about the fact that I was trying to be strong to comfort her, when really, I just desperately wanted my mom to comfort ME! Terrible feeling.
November is going to be a terrible month for you. My heart is breaking for you. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
also, please please be easy on yourself in the coming weeks. Going through the year anniversaries was extremely tough.... just focus on yourselves and do whatever feels right to you guys.
Side note, I found out over the weekend that a good friend lost her miracle baby. She is AMA and it took her almost a year to conceive. Her heart is breaking and it is so similar, yet different from my experience. Send some prayers and good vibes her way and help me to have the right words to say.
How far along are you?
Crazy dreams. GD kicking in. Nesting hard. Like we weren't going to make him a room of his own yet because we always have coslept the first year, but this weekend it was like I was on some sort of nesting speed and suffice it to say he has a room of his own.
What is your favourite holiday tradition?
Watching A Christmas Story, big breakfast on Christmas, Christmas jammies
DD #1: 2012; MMC: 2014; DD #2: 2015; It's a boy! 3/31/2018
21w54d