March 2018 Moms

PGAL Check In (week of Oct. 25)

This is a safe space for those who are pregnant after a loss. General TW for this thread.


How far along are you?


Any appointments coming up?


How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)


GTKY: Since we are 2 months from Christmas!!! What is your favourite holiday tradition?
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Re: PGAL Check In (week of Oct. 25)

  • How far along are you? 18+2


    Any appointments coming up? Anatomy scan next Thursday. So nervous to make sure all is good, but also so excited to see little one again and find out what we are having!


    How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): I've been feeling more movement this past week which is so reassuring to my PGAL brain. Every time I feel a little kick, I tear up. I'm trying to soak it in as much as possible as I'm 99% sure this is our last. 


    GTKY: Since we are 2 months from Christmas!!! What is your favourite holiday tradition? I love Christmas! Every year DH and I host a Christmas potluck with our friends. That's always an awesome day/evening. But overall I just love spending time with our family and friends. We are hosting my family this year on Boxing Day so I need to start planning the menu and figuring some stuff out. Really looking forward to it as I love hosting!!
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  • How far along are you?
    21.6

    Any appointments coming up?
    I have an appointment with my OB on Thursday but might have to reschedule because DS has HFM  :(

    How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
    I'm definitely doing a lot better now that I can feel Emma moving around! She already has so much attitude. Any time any thing is on my belly she freaks out. Even if it's just my seatbelt while I'm driving. She kicks at it the whole time  :D

    GTKY: Since we are 2 months from Christmas!!! What is your favourite holiday tradition?
    We don't have many traditions yet, but my mom and I always watch It's A Wonderful Life on Christmas morning after we have brunch and I love it. I look forward to coming up with my own traditions though!
  • How far along are you? 17+4

    Any appointments coming up? YES! MONDAY 9:30AM is our big ultrasound... ! Jose and I are so excited !

    How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) Inching closer to November is slowly killing me. It's like this baby landed in my belly at exactly the time when we needed her most.  Did Mars send her to us?  November - March will be the hardest time, since this is when we had our Mars just last year... which coincides with my final months with Nova as my passenger.  Just cannot wait to meet her.

    GTKY: Since we are 2 months from Christmas!!! What is your favourite holiday tradition? Our custody agreement has my boys with my ex on Christmas, so what I've done is I make 12/24 my christmas.  I go all out - we have Christmas "eve" on 12/23 and christmas morning 12/24 - I make an obnoxiously huge american breakfast... I think it freaks out my European husband haha - pancakes, eggs, veggie bacon, veggie sausage, hashbrowns, english muffins, sometimes I'll even bust out homemade cinnamon rolls... it truly is obnoxious... I normally enjoy mimosas while I'm cooking for hours... but not this year LOL  Might resort to a condensed spread haha.

    @BrittnieMariee we watch Its a Wonderful Life too...classic

    @syssa-o I think that is awesome you are moving...!  you can always decorate as soon as you move in to make the place feel extra homey.

    @justkeeptrying thanks for keeping this thread going!
    Mama to:
    Zane William 9/17/03
    Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
    Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
    Nova Marsela 3/14/18
  • @senora76 it looks like we will be moving for The beginning of December if everything pans out with this house we like. I told H that I’m decorating the day we move in! Lol ..It is bittersweet because we are saying goodbye to the only place we knew Leah but it will also be a fresh start for the new babies. 
  • @senora76 it's my favorite!! I just love Christmas movies anyway, but there's definitely a reason this one is such a classic  :)
  • @syssa-o I know what you mean - my husband was the opposite... he couldn't bear to go into our bedroom we shared with Mars so we essentially had to move, and we did so within 2 weeks of losing him... we had it easier as renters with our lease up that very same month, and another place avail for us to move... I moved to preserve my husband's sanity... but I am SO GRATEFUL we did. I am only recently able to drive by our old house, and we all call it the Mars house... My 14 year old tells me its his favorite home hes lived in because of all the memories of Mars... we all have a fondness for that home... but its been essential to have a fresh start.
    Mama to:
    Zane William 9/17/03
    Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
    Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
    Nova Marsela 3/14/18
  • How far along are you?
    23+2 

    Any appointments coming up?
    No, I’ve got a little break now. Next appt is in about 3 weeks. 

    How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
    I’m good. Running into various triggers on social media which is proving to be a challenge for me to look past. I know I should get off if it’s bothering me, but unfortunately social media is basically an addiction for me. That’s sad, I know.. I’m becoming more and more convinced I have some form of SPD. My pubic bone, hips, and now occasionally my back just feel like they’re all cracking and ripping in half. I wonder if it’s because baby is sideways in there? I would think it would be worse if baby was head down, but? Baby has been sideways since our A/S 5 weeks ago.. hoping for a head down baby for delivery, I’ve never had a baby stay this way for so long! 

    GTKY: Since we are 2 months from Christmas!!! What is your favourite holiday tradition?
    Oooh I LOVE Christmas!!! I don’t know if I can pick one favorite tradition, sooo... I love going to the tree farm and decorating while listening to Christmas music. We have a family Christmas night where we bake, make gingerbread (graham cracker) houses, and watch a Christmas movie, and we always get new jammies that we crawl into on Christmas Eve and take a picture in! Christmas is my favorite. 
  • @chasingroygbiv My Vance was transverse my entire pregnancy, and I went into labor with him naturally 5 weeks early... he was transverse just the day before I went into the hospital, but when I got to the hospital he was head down... i tried all sorts of things to move him - laying upside down, sleeping with an elevated pelvis... he seemed to have his head stuck above my hip bone... if that makes sense...no idea what happened but he was head down ready to come out at birth.  - as for social media - I first shut down my fb when i lost Mars, but when I got a little bit of strength I posted a tribute to him, and said I'd be taking a break from social media... and left the account open, but logged off and deleted the app.  That was April. I also deleted Instagram.  I also deleted babycenter because those baby reminders were impossible for me... aside from this very thread on thebump and reddit (my guilty pleasure), I am totally off social media.  My friends and family who live far, make a point to call and text... and thanks to my best friend who stalks my kids social media profiles, I get screenshots so I can still monitor them somewhat. We live in a world with social media... but it is a layer of reality I cannot handle. It does handicap you in many ways, missing out on info on events, missing the latest news from your friends, being totally out of the loop on the goings on, but it has really allowed me to focus on what's most important...what is right in front of me... I totally recommend taking a break... for me its a world of triggers...

    @mdfarmchick Come over! haha - there will be PLENTY of food!


    Mama to:
    Zane William 9/17/03
    Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
    Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
    Nova Marsela 3/14/18
  • @mdfarmchick yes!! I love how they already have little attitudes! My son was the same way lol and my mom is already saying Emma will be just like me so I'm in for a fun time haha
  • How far along are you?
    21 weeks and 3 days. Ok I am going to ask this here because I feel like a moron, but I have thought this before and was just reminded of it. I feel like I see people post how far along they are and it spans more than a month? For example a few people just posted being around week 17 or 18, I am over 21, and due on March 4th, but @chasingroygbiv, if you are over 23 weeks how are we all due in the same month? My math skills are admittedly very poor, and I’m embarrassed to ask but I want to know the answer, lol.

    Any appointments coming up?
    I need bloodwork tomorrow and a more advanced protein creatinine ratio urinalysis tomorrow.

    How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
    I have been feeling movement FINALLY for 3 days in a row now, it is mostly uncomfortable, kicks or punches to the bladder and cervix, but I am so so thrilled about it. However I am also getting pretty nervous about preeclampsia, it has been brought up to me by multiple doctors already but at my monthly ob visit on Monday it was really all she talked about, 10 days ago I started on blood pressure medication and it is lower but not low enough, and my headaches are getting closer together and more unmanageable, and I have been throwing up again for no good reason. I am weirdly fine with all of this unless it means he can’t stay inside as long as he needs to and this is the first time someone actually spoke to me about that possibility. But I have to stay calm for my blood pressure!

    GTKY: Since we are 2 months from Christmas!!! What is your favourite holiday tradition?
    i am the grinch mostly, working Christmas retail years ago killed all Christmas music for me and family drama on my dad’s side and between my husband and one of his sisters has made me dread a series of days of eating meals where other people are getting along poorly all around me. I LOVED my little heathen secular christmas as a child with my mom and me and her mom and food and presents and no pressure. I hope we can create something lovely like that for Romeo in our home.
    sorry for rambling!
  • @bb3vj3n wow. That is an absolutely gorgeous tree!

    @leilaquinn @chasingroygbiv and some others on here found out later in their pregnancy that baby was further along than they thought but chose to stay here because they were already part of the community here. :smiley: I hope your blood pressure calms down so that baby can cook as long as he needs to in there. 
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    @leilaquinn @chasingroygbiv and some others on here found out later in their pregnancy that baby was further along than they thought but chose to stay here because they were already part of the community here. :smiley: I hope your blood pressure calms down so that baby can cook as long as he needs to in there. 
    Thank you! That makes perfect sense, glad I asked.
  • @leilaquinn Yes, @mdfarmchick is correct! I was originally March 4th (I think??) because doctors insisted on using my LMP. I knew it wasn’t right because I would’ve gotten a positive test before even possible, but they wouldn’t change it until my first u/s. There they found the date was off by over a week— which I said it would be! My cycle was wonky due to my losses and adding in Progesterone while TTC. I liked it here too much already and felt like I had already formed friendships, so I stayed!  <3
  • If I had gone by my LMP I would be due in mid February . I told the doctor I didn't know when it had been and stuck to the idea that I had no clue so that they would go by the 8 week ultrasound measurements. over 2.5 years of tracking I knew that my cycles ranged from 17-53 days, and that I had been testing everyday, and that the first faint positive couldn't have been dpo 35. 
  • @bb3vj3n Beautiful tree!  And Congrats!!!  Glad everything went well on your scan :)

    I was tracking my cycles peeing on sticks obsessively and had a +OPK on 7/6, 7/7 & 7/8 plus I had accupuncture on 7/8 and they did the e-stim so I know I had to have laid an egg that day...  I had my 2nd appt with an RE when I was already pregnant and in addition to telling me I had low egg reserve and "the face of a 30 year old but the eggs of a 45 year old" and that I have a 40% chance of miscarriage and he swore up and down that I wasn't due until at least April 3 based on LMP... all my measurements have put me between 3/28 - 3/31 so they officially changed my due date to 3/31.  I know anything is possible, but since I had Mars 10 days early and Vance 5 WEEKS early, and am 4TM at age 41, I am pretty certain I will go in March... Due dates are really just an estimation anyway...  
    Mama to:
    Zane William 9/17/03
    Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
    Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
    Nova Marsela 3/14/18
  • I just think it's peculiar that so often doctors want to go on LMP when ovulating some time other than 14 days after your period ends is not really uncommon.

  • @leilaquinn don’t even get me started. I swear they need to rewrite the textbook. :smiley:
  • Oh and @bb3vj3n congratulations on a girl! How exciting!
  • @PixieMoxie welcome! I’m glad you decided to participate with us but I’m so sorry for the reasons why. Sounds like you have a good plan to keep moving forward with this pregnancy and I hope we can be supportive for you. <3
  • @PixieMoxie I'm so sorry for your losses. it took me a long time to participate here too, but I am so glad I did. 
  • @PixieMoxie so sorry for your losses. Glad you decided to participate. You will soon realize these women are some of the most supportive, and uplifting bunch.
  • @PixieMoxie, I'll echo the sentiments of others. Welcome to our little group! But I'm so sorry for your losses :(
  • Welcome, @PixieMoxie I’m sorry you’ve also experienced loss. I hope you can get/give advice, support, and comfort here!

    i understand not wanting to tell too many people. We just started telling at just over 18 weeks because it was quite obvious. I’m trying to relax about others knowing, but it’s hard. 
  • I'm so sick of passing milestones :( 

    One year ago today we officially miscarried our little Olivia. We had found out in September that we had a missed miscarriage. And then my body wouldn't cooperate and I finally took meds on Oct. 30th to get the miscarriage going. It was one of the worst days of my life. 

    I have a mix of emotions today. Some making me feel guilty that I'm not feeling more emotional today. I've just grieved so much lately passing due dates, loss dates, milestones with this pregnancy. It's exhausting but I also want/NEED to remember. 

    Sorry for the vent. 
  • @PixieMoxie I love your screenname... Welcome and thank you for posting. I am so sorry for your losses, but I can’t tell you how healing it is for me to see people go on and find joy after their losses... I hate to hear of amyone else suffering but I am encouraged to know that other women go on, especially when I feel like I don’t  have the strength myself to go on.

    @justkeeptrying I am sorry its a rough time... As we inch closer to November I am slowly losing my sanity too.  I wish I could make it all better for you... Waking up to it cold and misty was enough if a trigger for me and I spent much of this weekend uncontrollably sobbing and thinking about the day we lost Mars and I’m completely self destructing... I pushed my parents away and told them not to come visit me (when they had planned to saturday) and then I felt guilty for doing so... But I couldnt help it... My mother pisses me off somehow by making it seem like her wounds are worse because she is mourning a grandchild and also being pushed away by her grieving daughter... Grief can be so ugly and competitive sometimes... I’m totally triggered by her because she has no idea what it feels like to lose a child or to be a single mother with an uncapible ex...

    Sorry @justkeeptrying I really started out by wanting to comfort you and I made it all about me!!!   I’m having a rough time too... I hate that you are as well.  My heart hears yours mama with all the triggers
    Mama to:
    Zane William 9/17/03
    Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
    Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
    Nova Marsela 3/14/18
  • @senora76, I totally hear you. My mom can be a total comfort and a pain at the same time. I remember dreading her phone calls because I was trying to grieve and she would talk about her own (what I considered minuscule) problems. 

    I remember coming home from the hospital after miscarrying and having to comfort her because she didn't realize I had actually miscarried and thought we were still waiting for a confirmation ultrasound to know what was happening. I felt sick about the fact that I was trying to be strong to comfort her, when really, I just desperately wanted my mom to comfort ME! Terrible feeling. 

    November is going to be a terrible month for you. My heart is breaking for you. You're in my thoughts and prayers. 
  • @senora76 the fact that you just called grief competitive is SO accurate and I have never thought of it that way before!

    also, please please be easy on yourself in the coming weeks. Going through the year anniversaries was extremely tough.... just focus on yourselves and do whatever feels right to you guys. 
  • @justkeeptrying @senora76 I’m thinking of both of you. Grief is a hard and terrible emotion to deal with and I wish you both had better support in your grief. I also think grief can be very personal and we all mourn in our own ways—so if that means taking some time alone or avoiding triggers ((even if it’s from your mom)), do that. Sometimes it just feels like an empty space for me and I can’t imagine what it feels like for you both. 

    Side note, I found out over the weekend that a good friend lost her miracle baby. She is AMA and it took her almost a year to conceive. Her heart is breaking and it is so similar, yet different from my experience. Send some prayers and good vibes her way and help me to have the right words to say. 
  • @justkeeptrying @senora76 So sorry you ladies are having a hard time right now. All grief is different. And no way to grieve is wrong. 
  • @mdfarmchick, I am so sorry for your friend. That is just heartbreaking. 
  • @mintea there is so much nesting going on over here. Like I’m nesting my entire house. :lol:
  • @kalawa I don’t have any experience but T&P for your US. Also, your Christmas food traditions sound great! We always have some kind of seafood for the holidays because I grew up near the coast and it’s not the holidays without it! <3
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