@ladythrice I agree with you someone who is unreliable is the worst. My MIL is TERRIBLE with directions, my parents even offered to let her ride with them to the hospital when I was in labor. She said no and I was just prepared for her to miss the birth and be all mad and upset even though I made her a map and gave her the easiest directions possible. I can't believe your MIL would cancel on watching your DS while you were in labor I don't know if I would ever get over that.
@JJMNO1616 yeah... There were definitely extenuating circumstances, FIL passed away two months prior and BIL was diagnosed with leukemia 1 month prior. She (rightfully so) was beyond stressed and anxious with all the life events. She wanted to be available "in case" BIL had an appt with his oncologist.... Suffice it to say the whole family rallied and convinced her my active labor was more pressing than the potential for an appt later that week.
You can't really fault her for the emotional anxiety she was under... But fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice... Now I just need to make sure we don't rely on her and I'm good.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014! DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
@ngolimento - whoop! Go baby girl! You should be proud mama!
I’m sorry to those with ILs who are shitbags. I’m very fortunate to have awesome ILs who I love. I don’t think it will change when the babies come. I have my fair share of flakes in my own family lol, probably why I lucked out with DHs fam. I’m in total agreement that the unreliable people can drive a wedge between like no other.
Lol, my cat is laying on my belly and purring like she always does, and my kid is kicking like mad at her. It's super cute. Either she is having a "get off my lawn!" Or a "I can do that too!" moment.
Hey Ladies, sorry I've been MIA all week... we've had no internet or cell service due to the CA fires I can see I have a lot of carching up to do, although I'm not sure that the service will be consistent, so I may be in and out for a few days...
@kmalls Your story about all those misdirected emails reminded me that a couple of years ago MH got a couple of text messages from some ramdom guy confirming a drug deal! You'd think you'd want to be sure you've got the right number for that, right?
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013 Started TTC August 2016 BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17 BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17 BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18 BFP: 2/27/20
@ngolimento We're safe, and all of my family is safe, although my sister is under evacuation warning and a couple of my cousins were evacuated, but I have friends who lost their houses, and the fires are still burning with basically no containment. It's just so, so sad. So many houses and businesses gone...
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013 Started TTC August 2016 BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17 BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17 BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18 BFP: 2/27/20
@hedgepig I'm just so shocked with the fires. Living on the East coast for most of my life, then moving to the midwest, I have no real conceptualization about the impact fires have on the area. DH and I did do a vacation one year to Sonoma/Napa and it is one of our favorite vacations ever. When I see the damage from the fires on the news, I see places we've been. I can't even imagine it being my home. All the thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014! DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Good morning all ! This might be a random thought or maybe question... when do you think is the right time to let your child know he/she will be having a sibling? My daughter turns 5 in November, I am 11weeks 4 days and haven't told her yet... any thoughts?
@hershey0x you don't happen to live in Hershey, do you? Lol. I told my son when I was around 5 wks, because he just turned 4 and we were doing his yearly pictures/family pictures and I wanted to do announcement pictures with him, so he had to know, lol.
@psuxray07 hi! No, my name is actually Herci lol ! Aww, he probably got very excited. I guess you just have to let them know sometimes. I'm getting ready to tell my daughter this weekend. ❤️
Riding on the cigarette smoke train... my mother smokes in her house, and she doesn't see anything wrong with it (obviously her choice, and it's her house, so I don't care). When I was pregnant last time and we went to see her, we got a hotel, and she was deeply offended. She asked us to come down in a few weekends and i am just not sure how to handle it... I was thinking maybe a day trip? I don't really want to be made out to be a bad guy, but, I feel like no matter what I do that's in my comfort zone (day trip or hotel, that I pay for), I will be made out to be snobby or unsocial. I know I need to just deal with it and do what's best for baby but I wish other people would understand that sentiment...
@viggie17 Does she know that the reason you don't want to stay there is because of the smoking? I think it can be really hard for people who smoke to understand how absolutely repulsive it is for people who don't. It makes me feel so sick to be around someone who is smoking or smells like smoke. I don't care if I'm pregnant or not I wouldn't stay in someone's house who smokes inside. I assume you have told her why you don't want to stay there and that doesn't make you snobby or unsocial at all! There is a reason for why smoking in public places has practically been banned EVERYWHERE. It may sting for her because she may feel embarrassed but it's not fair for her to make you out to be the bad guy. I would just continue to do what makes you feel most comfortable.
@viggie17 this might be unwelcome advice, but I would actually decline the trip completely. If she asks why, I would be absolutely honest.
Something along the lines of "The last time I was there and pregnant, you made me feel horrible about staying at a hotel, which was a decision I made for my health and health of my baby. I don't want to go through that again. I love you, but I don't love how treated me. I think it's best if we avoided that drama altogether".
Hello! Checking in from a hectic weekend. DD turned 1 on Friday and we hosted her bday party on Saturday. It actually went great! It was super stressful finding enough time to clean and get everything ready, but it was totally worth it. A whole bunch of extended family came and I kinda thought by starting the party at 11am, it would be over relatively early. Nope. Everyone stayed until 5! Really fun but holy shit was it exhausting.
In totally different news, I made the decision to switch hospitals for this birth -- which means I also have to switch OBs from the practice I delivered my last two kids with. My current hospital has been officially certified as Baby Friendly, and I just can't with that. It runs contrary to so much of what I need out of my birth experience and I thought I could suck it up and get through it this time, but I feel like my happiness and mental health are more important. So anyway, I have a call scheduled with the maternity services dept of a different hospital and I'm reallllly hoping the transition isn't difficult!
@kmalls I don't blame you, I'd probably do the same in your situation! Hope you find a great OB relatively close to you affiliated with a hospital you are comfortable with. I have no actual birth experience there yet obviously but would definitely recommend Mt A based on our tour, friends experiences and my feeling so far.
Thanks, @frenchiekinplusone! I'm talking to St. E's tomorrow simply due to it being slightly more convenient, geographically, than other hospitals, but Mt. A is on my list as well!
@viggie17 oh man I was totally (and still am) in your shoes. My mother smokes in her house as well. The minute I told her I was pregnant (my last pregnancy) I also reminded her she could not be smoking around us or hold the baby if she was smoking before. And i tild her from the start we would not be staying or visiting her home with the baby. She was hurt but our health comes first. My son is now 2 years old and she still thinks it's okay to smoke in the car or outside and then come in and lounge around our house. Everything she owns smells like smoke. And she thinks b3cause she washed something before she came it doesn't smell but it does. Every time I remind her She can't be around my son when she smokes she starts to cry and tried to make me feel guilty. It's always a huge argument. Or she will use the excuse that she used to smoke around me when I was young and I turned out fine...really? I have stood firm in my decision to keep us healthy. Of her decision is to smoke than there are consequences to that choice that she has been fully warned about. It's a tough spot to be in but ultimately we shouldn't feel guilty for wanting the best for our children. And you would think above all our parents would understand.
@JJMNO1616 she did know that last time.... I do think she feels embarrassed about it, or something. I don't say much about it, because she does make a lot of comments when I am there about it, like "I smoke in the basement because Viggie17 doesn't like it", and it comes completely "unprovoked" on my part (i.e- I do not make comments. I dont smoke and didn't like it as a kid, so I think she feels judged in that aspect? But what kid likes their parent smoking?) but she has made comments how she smoked when we were kids, in regards to her other grandchildren not coming over much, so I'm not really sure where she's coming from.
@ngolimento I wish I could hit the nail on the head with something like that! It would cause a very, very large stir though... I do think I may have to call her out on it with the little comments though, as they come. Not surprisingly, this happens in other situations as well, and it has caused me to withdraw and I have limited how many trips I take over that way because I end up kind of getting crapped on, relentlessly, if I don't cater to certain people and it's causing a lot of angst on my end.
@jacklynnmike ugh the guilt trips are the worst! Like, I don't make life choices and expect other people to be impacted by them and just be hunky dory with it! If someone wasn't comfortable with an aspect of my lifestyle because it somehow impacted them, I would be happy if they made themselves comfortable while around me.
I think making the decision to move hospitals is ultimately going to be a much better chance at a less stress experience, good for you for making it. Hopefully you find a new OB that you like soon! Good luck
@ekendall09 gah! DD had a pedi appt this morning and I started chatting with a woman with a newborn. She delivered at the same hospital as us and said the nursery is not closed. I'm so confused! It was closed for me last delivery, and others have said it's closed, so now I don't know what to think. I have my 16 week appt on Wednesday so I think I'll be totally upfront with why I'm thinking of switching, and perhaps they'll be able to give me some assurances. Why does this have to be so hard?!
@kmalls for what its worth. I asked two of my friends for more recently delivered at E. One said they definitely encouraged in room etc. The other who birthed in the last few months via c-section said they allowed baby in nursery as much as she wanted. So much for definitive help lol
@kmalls for what its worth. I asked two of my friends for more recently delivered at E. One said they definitely encouraged in room etc. The other who birthed in the last few months via c-section said they allowed baby in nursery as much as she wanted. So much for definitive help lol
@ekendall09 that actually makes me feel a lot better. I feel like I can deal with the BFing pressure by being even more clear than I was last time about not wanting to see LCs, needing formula, etc. The nursery, though, is a pretty hard line for me. There's a big difference between "encouraging" rooming-in versus "requiring," and when I delivered DD last year it was required. That was pretty awful while recovering from a csection.
I have my 16 week appt tomorrow so I'll just lay it all out there with the midwife. Hopefully she can assure me things have gotten better because I really don't want to drive into Boston if I don't have to!!
@kmalls I'll be curious to hear what you find out; I think it is insane that they don't have a nursery option available. To me that totally discounts the major medical ordeal that childbirth is for all women, and beyond that, the fact that some women may literally be unable to care for their new babies. Why in the world would you want to pressure them to make them feel like they have to or should be able to?!?
At the hospital where I gave birth all three times (last in 2016) they told me they still have a nursery but they "don't advertise it." This definitely makes me want to check to make sure that's still their policy, because I do want to know there's a nursery option available.
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Re: Weekly randoms - week of 10/9
@ladythrice I agree with you someone who is unreliable is the worst. My MIL is TERRIBLE with directions, my parents even offered to let her ride with them to the hospital when I was in labor. She said no and I was just prepared for her to miss the birth and be all mad and upset even though I made her a map and gave her the easiest directions possible. I can't believe your MIL would cancel on watching your DS while you were in labor I don't know if I would ever get over that.
@JJMNO1616 yeah... There were definitely extenuating circumstances, FIL passed away two months prior and BIL was diagnosed with leukemia 1 month prior. She (rightfully so) was beyond stressed and anxious with all the life events. She wanted to be available "in case" BIL had an appt with his oncologist.... Suffice it to say the whole family rallied and convinced her my active labor was more pressing than the potential for an appt later that week.
You can't really fault her for the emotional anxiety she was under... But fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice... Now I just need to make sure we don't rely on her and I'm good.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
I’m sorry to those with ILs who are shitbags. I’m very fortunate to have awesome ILs who I love. I don’t think it will change when the babies come. I have my fair share of flakes in my own family lol, probably why I lucked out with DHs fam. I’m in total agreement that the unreliable people can drive a wedge between like no other.
@kmalls Your story about all those misdirected emails reminded me that a couple of years ago MH got a couple of text messages from some ramdom guy confirming a drug deal! You'd think you'd want to be sure you've got the right number for that, right?
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20
I personally told my kids (1 and 2... lol) as soon as the pee dried because they were in the bathroom with me.
We've actually had a thread go into some detail on this topic. You might be interested in it here!
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
Something along the lines of "The last time I was there and pregnant, you made me feel horrible about staying at a hotel, which was a decision I made for my health and health of my baby. I don't want to go through that again. I love you, but I don't love how treated me. I think it's best if we avoided that drama altogether".
In totally different news, I made the decision to switch hospitals for this birth -- which means I also have to switch OBs from the practice I delivered my last two kids with. My current hospital has been officially certified as Baby Friendly, and I just can't with that. It runs contrary to so much of what I need out of my birth experience and I thought I could suck it up and get through it this time, but I feel like my happiness and mental health are more important. So anyway, I have a call scheduled with the maternity services dept of a different hospital and I'm reallllly hoping the transition isn't difficult!
ETA - HBD to your DD!
Married: 10/3/15
TTC: May 2017
BFP: 7/20/17
EDD: 3/29/18
@ngolimento I wish I could hit the nail on the head with something like that! It would cause a very, very large stir though... I do think I may have to call her out on it with the little comments though, as they come. Not surprisingly, this happens in other situations as well, and it has caused me to withdraw and I have limited how many trips I take over that way because I end up kind of getting crapped on, relentlessly, if I don't cater to certain people and it's causing a lot of angst on my end.
@jacklynnmike ugh the guilt trips are the worst! Like, I don't make life choices and expect other people to be impacted by them and just be hunky dory with it! If someone wasn't comfortable with an aspect of my lifestyle because it somehow impacted them, I would be happy if they made themselves comfortable while around me.
I think making the decision to move hospitals is ultimately going to be a much better chance at a less stress experience, good for you for making it. Hopefully you find a new OB that you like soon! Good luck
I have my 16 week appt tomorrow so I'll just lay it all out there with the midwife. Hopefully she can assure me things have gotten better because I really don't want to drive into Boston if I don't have to!!
At the hospital where I gave birth all three times (last in 2016) they told me they still have a nursery but they "don't advertise it." This definitely makes me want to check to make sure that's still their policy, because I do want to know there's a nursery option available.