Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
mdcd44127
member
Re: Why My Pregnant Self is Crying - 10/8
Then yesterday DH pointed out some melted chocolate on my boob and jokingly said I've been gross lately. (I never used to spill food on myself, but since getting pregnant I wear everything I eat). He totally didn't mean it and I knew that, but that didn't stop the waterworks from coming. He felt absolutely horrible for making me cry and has apologized multiple times, but it still stung.
When I woke up at 5:30 this morning and DH still wasn't in bed, I lost it. Now, this is nothing new... he worked the overnight shift for 4 years, so he tends to go night-owl very easily (this will actually be a positive thing when baby is here and needs changing in the middle of the night), but we have stuff to do today and I had asked him last night to come to bed at some point so he wouldn't be garbage today.
So I've been sitting in my living room since dawn angry-crying about everything, and I just want to crawl out of my skin. Ugh.
TTC #1 since 12/2015
BFP 4/4/17, EDD 12/4/17
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2
As for me I cried yesterday because it’s just so hot and humid here still! It’s October in CT I should not be dripping with sweat every time I step out of my house. And when I’m hot I lose my patience so much easier so then I felt bad about being short with DS. Im actually glad it’s raining today because at least it’s a little cooler!
I cried yesterday during our childbirth class when all the women in the birth videos had the love and support of their families and I realized that I am terrified of being vulnerable and dependent in front of mine because of past experience and also that I am uncertain that DH is capable of shouldering being our rock (typically my job, even when I'm the one in crisis). I had an ugly cry on our lunch walk, and we had a good talk, and I think he's on board with the doula program now (to sort of balance out that load). But it really sucks to realize that as much as my relationship with my parents has improved, I still would prefer total strangers with outright medical obligations to our well being over family support during the birth of our child.
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2
DH left for work right when I was getting up for the day so he called me a few hours later to wish me a happy birthday. Then he ended up getting off early (4pm instead of 6pm). So we had the whole evening together, for him to do at least something.
There was no cake, no happy birthday song, no card, no flowers, no special dinner. And I don't expect ALL those things but even just ONE of them would have been nice. He didn't even tell my kids, so i didn't get the usual "happy birthday mommy" from them.
I thought maybe he was just waiting for this weekend but it's very obviously not happening.
@eazybreezy225 first, happy belated birthday! I am sorry to hear your DH didn't do anything for your birthday. They aren't a big deal in my house, but I'd for sure be upset if DH did absolutely nothing, including remind people to at least ensure I got some happy birthday wishes. I would maybe even cry in your situation if I weren't pregnant. Hopefully you can take some time and do something for yourself!
BFP 4/27/2017 - EDD 12/25/2017 - DD born 12/15/2017
TL;DR hormones make me angry, not weepy and I can't wait until I can tell DH that I'm too close to my due date to travel the 1.5 hours to my ILs house, since it's too far from the hospital...
Right now my emotion is directed at myself. 'Why aren't we finding out the gender again?', 'wouldn't it be easier to just go ahead and find out?', 'we have another ultrasound tomorrow, I bet they could tell us then'! I know I wanted this because some line about so few surprises in life, but planner me is mad at faking-spontaneous me. DH is remaining strong at this point, even though he wasn't originally super into the team green idea. Maybe I need to order some diapers and wipes or something so I can feel a bit more prepared despite the gender mystery.
BFP 4/27/2017 - EDD 12/25/2017 - DD born 12/15/2017
I agree that I’m more prone to rage (I’d totally contribute to a why my pregnant self is ragey thread! Lol) but I did cry last night because I was frustrated with DH. He just needs to step it up around the house, and thinking about how much more true that will be when the baby is here hit me hard. Ugh.
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
I’m so used to pushing myself to do everything even when I know it’s too much, but this time around especially with DD1 who is almost two, it’s starting to get reaaallllyyyy hard for me, I’m starting to slow/break down and I hate the feeling. I feel like I’m starting to lose it here, but it’s so hard for me to slow down, so that’s definitely been my main struggle lately. I really shouldn’t complain because otherwise pregnancy has been smooth, but it’s really starting to take a huge toll on my body and what I can physically do, I just feel like I hurt a lot of the time- so no more pushing it. I hope DD2 comes early because these last two months will be hard
BFP 4/27/2017 - EDD 12/25/2017 - DD born 12/15/2017
ETA: Happy Belated Birthday, @eazybreezy225!!
TTC #1 since 12/2015
BFP 4/4/17, EDD 12/4/17
@djd0404 I would totally tell my m
mom that if she wasn't planning on throwing a shower, she should have let me know so I could plan with someone else. I'd also push for her to do it since she was the one who offered. Even if it's something smaller than originally planned.
I'm sorry all of you have what I think are pretty valid reasons for crying. I cried at the end of the movie Grease for some reason even though I've seen it 50 billion times and it's a happy ending. I cried happy tears.
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2
I was upset last week because I had to work my 13-hr day on our anniversary and barely saw DH. To top it off, neither one of us did anything to celebrate (which I told myself meant I couldn't be too upset about him not doing anything since I didn't either).
This week I'm upset because our kitchen remodel hit another snag with an undersized cabinet, and now it might be another 2-3 weeks before we have an oven installed. I'm so over this.
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
Today I cried because I dropped my bagel on the floor. And it was my favorite flavor. And it was the last one in that flavor I had in the house. Lol.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
Married May 2014
DD born August 2016
Baby #2 due December 2017
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2
Married May 2014
DD born August 2016
Baby #2 due December 2017
The only reason they even need the anesthesia is because kids just don't friggin' cooperate and sit still for a nearly painless procedure like an adult can, hahaha. Dang kids. If they'd just listen to us, amiright?? (If you ever needed tubes as an adult they'd just numb you up and pop one in at the doctors' office.) Hoping your LO doesn't have any icky side effects from the meds and feels much better with her ears clear.
I've had some good cries watching "Call the Midwife" on Netflix. I knew I was at least a season behind & it turns out I was behind by two! Yay! I love all the stories of the families and the adorable
newborn faces.
My parents have been letting my dogs spend the daytime at their house the last two weeks while my house is being painted. I am thankful for this. The problem is that they do not follow my rules, and instead of telling me that they won't they just lie to me and passive aggressively suggest I am a control freak and they should get to 'just be dogs'. So my younger dog (Bailey, 3) has obviously been eating a whole lot of their farm dogs food and has had to go out in the middle of the night to poo and yesterday poo'd in my house. I politely asked my mother if I could put her dogs food up when I drop them off to prevent this, because they just put out like a week of food at a time. She lied to me and told me they had fed their dogs a limited amount and my dogs didnt have access to any extra food. We watched Bailey run right to George's food bowl on Tuesday morning so I know this is what's happening. She told me the food wasn't the problem, that I just need a doggy door. I DO NOT WANT A DOGGY DOOR; they are inside dogs. Had a similar exchange with my dad and he cannot even be self aware enough to know that him saying "we like that they can just be dogs at our house" is his own passive aggressive way of telling me I am a bad dog parent for controlling their outside activities. My mother ran my older dog (Moose 6) over with their UTV about 3 years ago, broke his leg, didn't take him to the vet, and didn't tell me. There is some risidual concern on my part from that event.
Needless to say, pregnant me made this into a metaphor for our baby. I don't think I am going to allow them to have our child unless we are there to supervise. They will not follow our rules, but won't have the courtesy to tell us they won't. They will just do whatever they want, lie to us, then suggest their way is better.
My dogs also aren't going there anymore. I love them too much.
TL;DR: Grandparents not following parents rules for care is grounds for limitation to supervised visits, for both fur babies and human babies.
BFP 4/27/2017 - EDD 12/25/2017 - DD born 12/15/2017
Married May 2014
DD born August 2016
Baby #2 due December 2017
TTC #1 since 12/2015
BFP 4/4/17, EDD 12/4/17
I guess this is karma for never having been super supportive of the idea of employer-paid maternity leave policies. But when you work in a female-dominated profession that requires a high degree of certification (aka: no such thing as "temps" to cover you), it does seem like crap that your coworker who has a baby annually would get paid to be home 3 months a year for multiple years while you do all her work AND yours for no extra money. Bahhhh
years and I can’t use it because it only covers the time your dr writes off (8 weeks for me). You have to use all yous sick and vac days and then not work for 2 weeks. I have 6 weeks built up plus the 2 not working equals me $8. I’m dropping that shit in november. It’s expensive
from Seattle(ish)
5 years married
FTM and PGAL
EDD is 12/23/17
-- It's a BOY! ---
Also I’m four for four on times I’ve cried when Perfect by Ed Sheeran comes on since getting pregnant. (Every time it comes on I wonder if I’ll finally be over it. Nope.)
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020