Why My Pregnant Self is Crying - 10/8

mdcd44127 · October 2017

The latest one of these I could find was from mid-September, so here's a fresh one!

Image: https://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdgdetXNew1qlt3uj.gif

mdcd44127 · October 2017

And of course I started this selfishly, because I'm a disaster right now and needed a place to vent. Putting it under a spoiler it since it's a small novel...

I started crying at work on Friday afternoon because it really hit me that I never got a bridal shower and now I'm not getting a baby shower. My mom and I are super close and she said pretty early in my pregnancy that she wanted to throw a family-party-style shower, so I really thought she would come through on this. But she's had all these lame excuses lately for not doing it, and it's way too late to ask it of any of my friends at this point. Part of me was thinking she might have been planning a surprise shower, but now that we're into October (and she knows basically all our weekends are booked from here through November), I realize it's definitely not happening. So, okay, boohoo. I went to the bathroom, finished crying & cleaned up my face, because there are way worse things in life.

Then yesterday DH pointed out some melted chocolate on my boob and jokingly said I've been gross lately. (I never used to spill food on myself, but since getting pregnant I wear everything I eat). He totally didn't mean it and I knew that, but that didn't stop the waterworks from coming. He felt absolutely horrible for making me cry and has apologized multiple times, but it still stung.

When I woke up at 5:30 this morning and DH still wasn't in bed, I lost it. Now, this is nothing new... he worked the overnight shift for 4 years, so he tends to go night-owl very easily (this will actually be a positive thing when baby is here and needs changing in the middle of the night), but we have stuff to do today and I had asked him last night to come to bed at some point so he wouldn't be garbage today.

So I've been sitting in my living room since dawn angry-crying about everything, and I just want to crawl out of my skin. Ugh.

Marley629 · October 2017

Oh I'm so sorry @djd0404 sending creepy internet hugs your way. I honestly think that even if it's after baby is born you should sit down with your mom and tell her your disappointed - it's not really about whether or not you had/have a shower but more that she didn't follow through with what she said she was going to do. As far as DH, I would definitely say something to him today if he is less than 100% in helping or doing what needs to be done.

TigerCakes · October 2017

@djd0404 I’m sorry that sucks. My DH is the same with staying up late even when things need to be done the next day. Unfortunately, I haven’t found a solution that makes it better.

As for me I cried yesterday because it’s just so hot and humid here still! It’s October in CT I should not be dripping with sweat every time I step out of my house. And when I’m hot I lose my patience so much easier so then I felt bad about being short with DS. Im actually glad it’s raining today because at least it’s a little cooler!

kyrwyn · October 2017

@djd0404 *internet hugs* I would be totally undone, too. Disappointment has been extra-hard to handle with my pregnancy hormones.

I cried yesterday during our childbirth class when all the women in the birth videos had the love and support of their families and I realized that I am terrified of being vulnerable and dependent in front of mine because of past experience and also that I am uncertain that DH is capable of shouldering being our rock (typically my job, even when I'm the one in crisis). I had an ugly cry on our lunch walk, and we had a good talk, and I think he's on board with the doula program now (to sort of balance out that load). But it really sucks to realize that as much as my relationship with my parents has improved, I still would prefer total strangers with outright medical obligations to our well being over family support during the birth of our child.

Marley629 · October 2017

I just had a mini breakdown. I'm so used to doing everything myself and it's really frustrating that I can't do that right now especially because my husband has zero urgency to do anything. I just want to be all unpacked from our move and organized and I can't move half the boxes and He's supposed to put shelves in the play room so I can unpack that. So over it.

eazybreezy225 · October 2017

I cried because my birthday was last week and DH did NOTHING. I have low expectations as it is.. I mean, I'm a grown woman in my late 20s with 3 kids, a job, and a household to run. So the day was filled with the usual craziness of running people to and from places, errands, chores, and the like.
DH left for work right when I was getting up for the day so he called me a few hours later to wish me a happy birthday. Then he ended up getting off early (4pm instead of 6pm). So we had the whole evening together, for him to do at least something.
There was no cake, no happy birthday song, no card, no flowers, no special dinner. And I don't expect ALL those things but even just ONE of them would have been nice. He didn't even tell my kids, so i didn't get the usual "happy birthday mommy" from them.
I thought maybe he was just waiting for this weekend but it's very obviously not happening.

kln62689 · October 2017

@Marley629 I feel your struggle about not being able to do everything. I need a few big things moved from upstairs to downstairs and from the barn into the house and I am dependent on others who lack urgency which is irritating me.

@eazybreezy225 first, happy belated birthday! I am sorry to hear your DH didn't do anything for your birthday. They aren't a big deal in my house, but I'd for sure be upset if DH did absolutely nothing, including remind people to at least ensure I got some happy birthday wishes. I would maybe even cry in your situation if I weren't pregnant. Hopefully you can take some time and do something for yourself!

skc040512 · October 2017

Can we have a "Why my pregnant self is ragey" thread? Because everything pisses me off, and I'm always emotionally constipated so I very rarely cry, even pregnant. DH and I went out to visit my ILs for lunch today and every little thing my MIL does is annoying the crap out of me. It doesn't help that she feels the need to *sing* everything she says to DD, but she then was going on and on about how the name DH and I have picked out for this LO is terrible and keeps suggesting all these awful names. I keep telling her that we're not naming LO any of those suggestions but she keeps going on and on...I finally snapped at her after she said "Oh, well you can spell this name with an S or a C!" And was just like, "Or it could be that there's no way we're naming her that". And she laughed it off and continued making terrible suggestions.

TL;DR hormones make me angry, not weepy and I can't wait until I can tell DH that I'm too close to my due date to travel the 1.5 hours to my ILs house, since it's too far from the hospital...

kln62689 · October 2017

@Skcobb I definitely also find myself to be much more ragey than weepy while pregnant. I am sorry your MIL is a handful, but it sounds like you handled it relatively gracefully. Mine is normally pretty great but the last time I saw her, every single thing she said ticked me off. I also find that my road rage is through the roof since being pregnant. I'm blaming hormones mainly bc I hope it gets better once the kid is born so my baby's first word is not 'mother f*%#$&r'!

Right now my emotion is directed at myself. 'Why aren't we finding out the gender again?', 'wouldn't it be easier to just go ahead and find out?', 'we have another ultrasound tomorrow, I bet they could tell us then'! I know I wanted this because some line about so few surprises in life, but planner me is mad at faking-spontaneous me. DH is remaining strong at this point, even though he wasn't originally super into the team green idea. Maybe I need to order some diapers and wipes or something so I can feel a bit more prepared despite the gender mystery.

kersey0208 · October 2017

I have my second NST tomorrow. The first one didn't go well the lady was being a complete B and wanted me to hold the monitor instead of using the belt. I told her I couldn't hold it still with enough pressure so she told me that she said this test wouldn't be easy and that she would go tell the doctor I wouldn't hold it. I was so confused and upset. I'm hoping for someone else tomorrow but I'm taking my mom because I hate confrontation so I tend to just go along with things and then avoid. my mom won't allow people to push me around. My husband has to go to Chicago for a few days for work. I'm dreading it I hate him being far from me at all right now. Hopefully I can make it to Wednesday without a complete meltdown..

MJDsquared · October 2017

I’m sorry to everyone crying.

There are too many of you to tag.

I agree that I’m more prone to rage (I’d totally contribute to a why my pregnant self is ragey thread! Lol) but I did cry last night because I was frustrated with DH. He just needs to step it up around the house, and thinking about how much more true that will be when the baby is here hit me hard. Ugh.

bb89012 · October 2017

@Marley629 I totally know that I feeling-
I’m so used to pushing myself to do everything even when I know it’s too much, but this time around especially with DD1 who is almost two, it’s starting to get reaaallllyyyy hard for me, I’m starting to slow/break down and I hate the feeling. I feel like I’m starting to lose it here, but it’s so hard for me to slow down, so that’s definitely been my main struggle lately. I really shouldn’t complain because otherwise pregnancy has been smooth, but it’s really starting to take a huge toll on my body and what I can physically do, I just feel like I hurt a lot of the time- so no more pushing it. I hope DD2 comes early because these last two months will be hard

—oh and probably hormones too starting to ramp back up again so thanks for that

kln62689 · October 2017

Alright I was lying to myself earlier about being ragey instead of weepy. I'm both. I just wept through literally the entire episode of Outlander that was released today. The. Whole. Thing. I am going to have to rewatch to actually see what I missed through the sobs.

mdcd44127 · October 2017

@Skcobb "I'm always emotionally constipated" made me LOL, I love that way of putting it! I'm usually the same way--quick to rage, not get weepy (I even bragged recently about not being the typical "pregnant emotional mess" stereotype)--but I seem to have broken the seal on Friday and have cried every day since. This morning after I posted DH & I had a blowout and then talked through a bunch of stuff, but I'm still super irritable and almost started crying again on the car ride home from running errands. I'm NOT liking this side of myself at all.

ETA: Happy Belated Birthday, @eazybreezy225!!

clovelyone · October 2017

@eazybreezy225 Happy belated birthday! That totally sucks and I would cry too. I'd also tell my SO that I am disappointed and tell him he needs to do something. I'm turning 40 right around the due date for twins, but I have a feeling I won't want to do anything. We'll have to celebrate later, I guess.

@djd0404 I would totally tell my m
mom that if she wasn't planning on throwing a shower, she should have let me know so I could plan with someone else. I'd also push for her to do it since she was the one who offered. Even if it's something smaller than originally planned.

I'm sorry all of you have what I think are pretty valid reasons for crying. I cried at the end of the movie Grease for some reason even though I've seen it 50 billion times and it's a happy ending. I cried happy tears.

elvenchick92686 · October 2017

I tend to be more ragey than weepy too. I had a rage fit on SO after my nap lol. However, i did have a huge ugly cry yesterday morning. I had a dream somebody took alll of baby stuff and we had to go retrieve it from this garage sale type place. They had everything labeled but people took what didnt belong to them and so i only got back a tiny cart full. Huge ugly cry for like an hour.

Marley629 · October 2017

@bb89012 I hear ya on over doing it. I def had a reality check this last week when I could barely move Thursday and Friday. Since I've been "relaxing" (as much as you can relax with a toddler), I've felt a lot better. FX the next two months flies by for all of us!

nothingbuttherain · October 2017

@eazybreezy225 I feel your pain - similar thing happened to me only I didn't have pregnancy hormones and it still upset me! Happy belated birthday!

I was upset last week because I had to work my 13-hr day on our anniversary and barely saw DH. To top it off, neither one of us did anything to celebrate (which I told myself meant I couldn't be too upset about him not doing anything since I didn't either).

This week I'm upset because our kitchen remodel hit another snag with an undersized cabinet, and now it might be another 2-3 weeks before we have an oven installed. I'm so over this.

Marley629 · October 2017

Because DS1 (he's 4) curled up in my lap and snuggled while watching peppa pig and he fell asleep in my arms. He hasn't done that in I can't even remember how long. I missed it.

MJDsquared · October 2017

I'm two for two on crying when Perfect by Ed Sheeran comes on the radio. It didn't make me cry pre-pregnancy.

Tennis11785 · October 2017

I'm sorry for all of your legit crying.

Today I cried because I dropped my bagel on the floor. And it was my favorite flavor. And it was the last one in that flavor I had in the house. Lol.

cait5413 · October 2017

I cried bc DD has to get tubes in her ears Monday.

Marley629 · October 2017

Aww I'm sorry @cait5413 I hope they help her feel better!

cait5413 · October 2017

Thanks, @Marley629 . I really think they will, I just hate putting her under anesthesia. But, it's a really simple procedure and I know a lot of people whose kids have really benefited from it.

elcd458 · October 2017

@cait5413 As someone who has been in the OR during many a tube surgery, I'll tell you what I tell every parent in that situation: by the time you even get good and worked up about it, the surgery will be over!

They are SO quick.

The only reason they even need the anesthesia is because kids just don't friggin' cooperate and sit still for a nearly painless procedure like an adult can, hahaha. Dang kids. If they'd just listen to us, amiright?? (If you ever needed tubes as an adult they'd just numb you up and pop one in at the doctors' office.) Hoping your LO doesn't have any icky side effects from the meds and feels much better with her ears clear.

skc040512 · October 2017

@caitlyn5454 @elcd458 I had 4 sets of tubes as a kid because I grew out of them since I had them for so long. I actually remember the last surgery I had to put them in and they just numbed me up and I got to watch on the monitor. I thought it was so cool. But, my mom always says that even though she panicked about me getting them, it was so worth it because it made a huge difference in my health.

Amber_Waves · October 2017

I haven't had a legit cry recently except when reiterating to DH that this is not a time where I can be super-flexible with his mom. It's her turn to be flexible (we've been pushovers this year while she was in chemo, but she's mostly recovered now and we all need to recalibrate.) MIL seems to think this is her baby and she has a say in everything. No. Just no. Sit down.

I've had some good cries watching "Call the Midwife" on Netflix. I knew I was at least a season behind & it turns out I was behind by two! Yay! I love all the stories of the families and the adorable
newborn faces.

kln62689 · October 2017

Second installment of why my pregnant self is raging:

My parents have been letting my dogs spend the daytime at their house the last two weeks while my house is being painted. I am thankful for this. The problem is that they do not follow my rules, and instead of telling me that they won't they just lie to me and passive aggressively suggest I am a control freak and they should get to 'just be dogs'. So my younger dog (Bailey, 3) has obviously been eating a whole lot of their farm dogs food and has had to go out in the middle of the night to poo and yesterday poo'd in my house. I politely asked my mother if I could put her dogs food up when I drop them off to prevent this, because they just put out like a week of food at a time. She lied to me and told me they had fed their dogs a limited amount and my dogs didnt have access to any extra food. We watched Bailey run right to George's food bowl on Tuesday morning so I know this is what's happening. She told me the food wasn't the problem, that I just need a doggy door. I DO NOT WANT A DOGGY DOOR; they are inside dogs. Had a similar exchange with my dad and he cannot even be self aware enough to know that him saying "we like that they can just be dogs at our house" is his own passive aggressive way of telling me I am a bad dog parent for controlling their outside activities. My mother ran my older dog (Moose 6) over with their UTV about 3 years ago, broke his leg, didn't take him to the vet, and didn't tell me. There is some risidual concern on my part from that event.

Needless to say, pregnant me made this into a metaphor for our baby. I don't think I am going to allow them to have our child unless we are there to supervise. They will not follow our rules, but won't have the courtesy to tell us they won't. They will just do whatever they want, lie to us, then suggest their way is better.

My dogs also aren't going there anymore. I love them too much.

TL;DR: Grandparents not following parents rules for care is grounds for limitation to supervised visits, for both fur babies and human babies.

joziejo · October 2017

Found out at this weeks appointment they want to induce me at 36-37 weeks, that only gives me 3-4 weeks to finish getting things ready and I've done nothing, and am basically on bedrest

oldersis · October 2017

Catching up on This is Us. I think that says it all.

cait5413 · October 2017

@wstacij that would make me cry too! But the reality of what needs to be done before a newborn is pretty minimal, though what we might want to get done may be a lot! You need a safely installed carseat. Some diapers and wipes, a safe place for baby to sleep, a few clothes, and boobs or bottles + formula. Every thing else is extra. Hugs

clovelyone · October 2017

@wstacij I agree with @cait5413 [although I've been freaking out too because they just told me that they will probably need to take the twins in the next few weeks (I'm now 31 weeks today)]. Everyone has given me the same advice and even though I know they're right, it's still scary. Plus, everyone says we'll never truly feel prepared.

kersey0208 · October 2017

So my in laws live 800 miles away from us. My MIL and SIL told us when they found out I was pregnant they would get on a plane and come for the birth/hospital stay. My MIL decided that she doesn't want to do that because she thinks she will get to spend more time with her grandkids when we come home and that she will be more useful since I'll have my family and nurses at the hospital. Also she was told she can't be in delivery/recovery room and only after baby out of nursery. I don't want anyone at my house when I come home or for a while. I just want to figure out a schedule and routine and recover without feeling on edge because of house guests. My husband loves the idea of them being around to cook/clean and help. I tried to put my foot down to him on it and he threw a fit. I ended in a compromise that they can come a week after we get home. I'm annoyed but I feel like I'm being a super B saying no. It doesn't help that my MIL had another daughter in law pregnant right now that is close to where they live and goes to some of her appointments, is allowed in the delivery room, and so on. Just feel like I can't please anyone and nobody cares what I need.

Amber_Waves · October 2017

@kersey0208 I'm sorry. Ugh. I am in a similar place with my DH right now and it is no fun. There is no easy compromise and one of is literally squeezing a baby out of their body, so maybe take a back seat, dear husband?

mdcd44127 · October 2017

This afternoon I'm crying at my desk because of a story about a lost dog that was running loose on the Mass Pike. I couldn't even watch a full 2 minutes of the video because I'm going to completely ruin my makeup and scare everyone around me.

dkizz82 · October 2017

I cried at my desk this morning because I logged onto our registry and saw that someone had bought the majority of our bedding. What a blessing that someone would spend that much money on our baby!

elcd458 · October 2017

FML.

After MONTHS of no success getting info, I finally confirmed for certain that my old short-term disability policy wouldn't cover this pregnancy if I reinstated it (it went inactive when I changed jobs this year and they stopped receiving premiums from payroll deductions). For whatever reason, when I started my new job and it wasn't an urgent priority, I had zero luck getting any info from my prior employer or the insurance company on how to start paying my premiums out of pocket before my grace period ended, and kind of gave up. Now magically all of this information I needed back at the beginning of the year when I wasn't KU is available and readily accessible. I'm not stupid, even if I didn't prioritize getting it done, I called around and asked questions at the time and got nowhere. Where the hell was all this easily accessible info when it would've been helpful? Goodbye, $1k+ worth of premiums I never reaped the benefits of!

I guess this is karma for never having been super supportive of the idea of employer-paid maternity leave policies. But when you work in a female-dominated profession that requires a high degree of certification (aka: no such thing as "temps" to cover you), it does seem like crap that your coworker who has a baby annually would get paid to be home 3 months a year for multiple years while you do all her work AND yours for no extra money. Bahhhh

dkizz82 · October 2017

@elcd458 that sucks! I’ve been paying for ST dis for 2
years and I can’t use it because it only covers the time your dr writes off (8 weeks for me). You have to use all yous sick and vac days and then not work for 2 weeks. I have 6 weeks built up plus the 2 not working equals me $8. I’m dropping that shit in november. It’s expensive

moonlady-2 · October 2017

Crying because my grandparents have sold and are moving out of the house they have lived in for 25 years (since I was in kindergarten!) it's too big and they are too old. It's just sad and reminds me that they both probably won't be around much longer. So many good memories in that house and they had the best view! I went there to pick up some stuff earlier and being there for the last time, seeing the pods in front, and the sold sign had me crying like a baby.

MJDsquared · October 2017

This week the hormones have ramped up. I’ve cried reading two different books, which I figured was just the books and they would’ve made me cry anyway, but I just started sobbing because DH started teasing me about how I was going to stretch out down there. DH is a teaser, always lighthearted. He likes to call me “big preggers” and talk about how big my belly is, blah blah. It hasn’t bothered me yet, but I always warn him that one day I may be hormonal and rage on him or start crying. It was bound to happen eventually. Lol.

Also I’m four for four on times I’ve cried when Perfect by Ed Sheeran comes on since getting pregnant. (Every time it comes on I wonder if I’ll finally be over it. Nope.)

Want a personalized experience?

Why My Pregnant Self is Crying - 10/8

Re: Why My Pregnant Self is Crying - 10/8

Choose Another Board

Search Boards