As a somewhat-related question, are we doing labor buddies? Because that needs to be organized pretty darn soon if you want to have time to "get to know" your labor buddies. We had quite a lot of people give birth 4-6 weeks early (and some earlier) in my other BMB so you don't want to wait too long.
I absolutely do not volunteer to organize this, LOL
Met: September 2005Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
As a somewhat-related question, are we doing labor buddies? Because that needs to be organized pretty darn soon if you want to have time to "get to know" your labor buddies. We had quite a lot of people give birth 4-6 weeks early (and some earlier) in my other BMB so you don't want to wait too long.
I absolutely do not volunteer to organize this, LOL
As a somewhat-related question, are we doing labor buddies? Because that needs to be organized pretty darn soon if you want to have time to "get to know" your labor buddies. We had quite a lot of people give birth 4-6 weeks early (and some earlier) in my other BMB so you don't want to wait too long.
I absolutely do not volunteer to organize this, LOL
What is this Labor buddy you speak of?
basically you get assigned into groups of 3-ish so each person has two labor buddies. you get to know them a bit better through PMs and eventually exchange email and cell phone info. then when you go into labor you just keep them up to date and they can post here in the group on your behalf so you have one less thing on your list.
often the groups are geographical or you can request certain people, or the PGAL people ask to stick together, MOMs, AMA, etc. since you might already have some active group check-ins and people you know a bit better than others. geographical is kind of nice as a default because those people end up being easiest to actually meet in real life if you become so inclined.
not sure if we were interested in doing this or not!
Met: September 2005Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
@anewadventure The Labor Buddy thing sounds cool. (Though I initially thought it might also be like a secret santa rotation or something.)
Also +1 to meanie/rules for the FB group. I'd rather hang out on FB with those of you I know, and not just everyone who posted an ultrasound image at some point. But there's a big gap between 1-time posters and people who are infrequent but present, and I wouldn't want to leave folks out just because they found us later in their pregnancies or have been super busy lately. =\
I agree there needs to be rules to join, but a min of 500 posts might mean a lot of our regulars don't make the cut because if we are honest, this board isn't terribly active. I think when we do start it the admins could join the fb group first, then let maybe have a group chat to talk about who is requesting to join. So if all admins recognize a sn they are in. If only one does all admins can look into that poster and then decide? I don't think it will be too hard, we don't have a ton of people who post here. As far as lurkers maybe every 2-3 months we can review who isn't posting and either give them a chance to post more or kick them out. That is how we got rid of lukers in my bride fb group. Just an idea!
Me 29 I Him 26 Married 4/22/16
TTC 9/2015 **TW** BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w) TTCAL 6/15/16 BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
+1 in support of strict rules for entry. I think @ktcakes87 had a good idea about admins determining entry since they would be selected as people who are active and visible on the Bump, so they should be familiar with a handful of people and can determine if people have been participating.
I also like the labor buddies idea. I do think they need to be set up rather soon because many of us are getting closer to delivery. I worry every day could be 'the day' my twins will be born!
About me: TTC#1: October 2015 dx: PCOS & MFI IUI #1 w/Femara + Ovidrel June 2016 ~ BFP July 2016: Blighted Ovum IUI #2 w/Femara + Ovidrel September 2016 ~BFN IUI #3 w/Femara + Ovidrel October 2016 ~BFN IUI #4 w/Femara + Ovidrel November 2016 ~BFN IVF with ICSI January 2017 ~BFN FET February 2017 ~BFN IVF with ICSI March 2017 ~BFP--Twins Due 12/8/17 Team Blue X 2!
I don't post a ton, but I do like to post with questions...I also never do the ticker change because 1. I bump mobile and 2. I'm on Sundays. I feel like with this page, a better place to check participation is on the MBF posts lol
I hope I am active enough to weigh in on this, but I like @ktcakes87 idea for "group vetting".
Also, @anewadventure Labor Buddies sounds like a good idea. I agree, it is something we'd have to get started on ASAP since labor is coming up quick for some! (Which seems crazy!)
I have to say I'm surprised at the number of people who I totally consider regs 'hoping' they'll be able to be in the FB group! I don't think I've seen anyone who's said, "I hope I'm active enough," that I didn't fully recognize immediately.
I also like the idea of vetting by recognition by a group of admin as well. I think between several people it will be pretty easy to determine if it's someone who's been around vs a random. Plus depending which threads you tend to post in, there may be regulars that are more recognizable to some than others.
I have to say I'm surprised at the number of people who I totally consider regs 'hoping' they'll be able to be in the FB group! I don't think I've seen anyone who's said, "I hope I'm active enough," that I didn't fully recognize immediately.
honestly there's nothing quite like talk of a FB group to make people feel insecure. or so it seems.
Met: September 2005Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
We didn't have labor buddies in my last BMB (that I know of, and I was fairly active). I think it could be good to have! Is it supposed to be with people due around the same date? Or like end of monthers paired with mid or beginning of the month?
I am also down for a FB group maybe v starting in November. I like the idea of getting to know some people on FB prior to sharing my new baby on FB with them. Also definitely feel requirements for joining are important! I really don't want to share with weirdos/randoms. It does seem really hard to find a "fair" way to select who gets to join and who doesn't. So far though, I think @ktcakes87 had a great idea for picking admins first and letting them vet the original members.
(PS it's really crazy to start thinking some are going to be delivering soon!!)
oh yeah, i forgot to mention, if possible your labor buddies should NOT be due in the same week as you, because it defeats the purpose if you all end up in the hospital at the same time! so ideally you are each at least a week apart in due date and you cross your fingers that it works out ok
Met: September 2005Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
I'd be happy to be in a facebook group with y'all, and I think the moderation rules talked about so far sound reasonable.
I probably wouldn't opt in for the labor buddies, just given my ridiculous schedule leading up to delivering, and not knowing how I'll feel afterwards. I'd hate to commit to it and then not follow through with it for someone. I'm fine with just posting an update myself whenever I am ready and have the time.
___ Due date 12/9 I can't figure out the pregnancy countdown tickers, but I do know how to make a signature! #40andpregnant
As of 12/15/2017, my new hashtag is #41 and pregnant!
We did labor buddies in my last group, but I'll be honest it didn't really work for me because I was two months early. My poor buddy never really contacted me either when she went into labor because we were all pretty active on Facebook by then and we were updating on there. I can go either way on the labor buddy thing.
We did facebook, once the bump blew up back in 2015. I'll say most of the time I prefer facebook, because it is way easier to get to know someone, and easier to keep up on with notifications.
Labor Buddies was awesome to do on facebook too because of messenger.
Either way, end of October/November is a good idea because there will inevitably be someone who goes into labor early.
Also participation is so hard to count. I agree we want regulars, but also I don't post as much as I would like. Plus I think it also makes people feel inadequate, for not being online so much etc.
Edited to add: Creating a Secret FB group that people can't find isn't hard. I'm not offering to admin, but if someone wants help setting it up, I can.
I'll just add my two cents about participation - in my s13 BMB, I probably only participated in my ticker change day (regularly). I was super intimidated as a FTM to participate elsewhere at that point but when we switched to FB, it was much easier to be vocal (for me). So I would be weary of blocking out someone of FB just because they didn't post 500 times etc. that being said, someone who just introd only or had 1 or a few comments and nothing since the beginning, eh, that person wouldn't make my cut so admins would have to vet a little bit.
as far as *lurkers* in the FB group, I believe someone else had mentioned Doing similiar - we did periodic reviews of participation and anyone who was not participating, we reached out to see if they still wanted to be a part of the group and encouraged participation. We realized that people go through difficult periods and that made things hard for them to participate but as long as they communicated that with us, we let them be u less it persisted for awhile. If not, we removed from group.
@Marley629 That's what we do a lot too. We've experienced some drama over it, but overall after the person was asked to participate or leave, I think people felt more comfortable in the long run.
I'm ok with whatever. I joined a Twins due in Nov/Dec fb group already, and a local Twins group, but haven't come across any of my fellow bumpies so far (that I know of). I feel much more active in those groups lately, just bc it's easier to use on mobile.
Side note: I'm at t-minus 45 planned days already!
I've joined a FB due in December group and it's very active and much easier to use on mobile. Setting up a page for us bump ladies would be good asap x
OK for real, who wants to be an admin on the fb page? I feel like even if most of you don't want to join until November we could still start figuring out admins and how to decide who gets in. Even if we start adding people now we don't have to be active over there until everyone is OK joining!
I saw a thing today saying I will be technically full term in the beginning of November, so that made me a little anxious to get this figured out! Plus all the twin mama's we have here, births are going to start sooner than later!
Me 29 I Him 26 Married 4/22/16
TTC 9/2015 **TW** BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w) TTCAL 6/15/16 BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
@ktcakes87 I think getting the ball rolling is a fine idea . Although I'm not admin material, I'll be happy to be a member as soon as it's up and running
I just thought of something that would be helpful to make sure we include when the group is set up. This might be totally obvious and i apologize if it is! I'm part of a FB group where we are all members of another forum, and one thing we did just to make things easier and another layer of "security" was create a post right away where as soon as you were admitted, you replied in this post with your forum username. It was helpful for reference while you learned who everyone was and also made it easy to figure out if you had someone who slipped through. It's kept as a pinned post at the top for easy reference. Just an idea!
my other BMB not only had a "document" with bump usernames vs. real names on FB, for the first three-ish months you signed every one of your posts with your bump username until people got it straight in their heads. that way you don't feel like you're starting over with a bunch of strangers.
Met: September 2005Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
I dont mind being an admin or moderator on it. I dont work during the week, just a few hours Saturday and sunday mornings/afternoon (usually between 10-2) so i have the time to dedicate to it. And, unless baby girl decides otherwise we are planning on inducing around thanksgiving.
I really like the idea of the username thing. I was definitely banking on that happening.
I volunteer as tribute (jk, admin). I'm not due until 12/30 and basically just assuming I won't have the baby until January and my job is sloooow some days so I can do crap at work.
I've been following along this whole discussion waiting for everyone to make their minds up because I don't really care when we do it haha I'll be admin if everyone's cool with that. How many do you think we need? Also down for the sign with sn thing. Perhaps we should write out a list of official rules on here to discuss?
my vote is for 4-6 admins max, and each admin must have been a regular participant here for the majority of our pregnancies. if the point is to discuss whom to allow in and whom to disallow, i think it's important that you are a regular contributor and that you have been posting for most of the way, at least end of first tri onwards.
once the FB group gets rolling and we're all a few months in, with LOs, and more comfortable as a group, we can always reshuffle admins at that time. those that want to step back can do so and those that want to volunteer can at that time. the group would then vote on it or otherwise come to an agreement.
all of this goes to say, i do not volunteer as admin.
Met: September 2005Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
Thanks @anewadventure I was just getting ready to post about this!
I agree about admins (at least in the beginning) should be ladies who have been in the group since at least first tri. That being said, it looks like myself, @failuretofly and @MJDsquared are all set to be admins. If anyone else "qualifies" and has a desire to be an admin, please say so!
Me 29 I Him 26 Married 4/22/16
TTC 9/2015 **TW** BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w) TTCAL 6/15/16 BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
Re: Future Facebook
I absolutely do not volunteer to organize this, LOL
Met: September 2005 Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
often the groups are geographical or you can request certain people, or the PGAL people ask to stick together, MOMs, AMA, etc. since you might already have some active group check-ins and people you know a bit better than others. geographical is kind of nice as a default because those people end up being easiest to actually meet in real life if you become so inclined.
not sure if we were interested in doing this or not!
Met: September 2005 Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
Also +1 to meanie/rules for the FB group. I'd rather hang out on FB with those of you I know, and not just everyone who posted an ultrasound image at some point. But there's a big gap between 1-time posters and people who are infrequent but present, and I wouldn't want to leave folks out just because they found us later in their pregnancies or have been super busy lately. =\
Married 4/22/16
**TW**
BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w)
TTCAL 6/15/16
BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
Married 4/22/16
**TW**
BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w)
TTCAL 6/15/16
BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
I also like the labor buddies idea. I do think they need to be set up rather soon because many of us are getting closer to delivery. I worry every day could be 'the day' my twins will be born!
TTC#1: October 2015
dx: PCOS & MFI
IUI #1 w/Femara + Ovidrel June 2016 ~ BFP
July 2016: Blighted Ovum
IUI #2 w/Femara + Ovidrel September 2016 ~BFN
IUI #3 w/Femara + Ovidrel October 2016 ~BFN
IUI #4 w/Femara + Ovidrel November 2016 ~BFN
IVF with ICSI January 2017 ~BFN
FET February 2017 ~BFN
IVF with ICSI March 2017 ~BFP--Twins Due 12/8/17
Team Blue X 2!
and I'm all for stricter rules to get in, but I hope I make the cut!
Also, @anewadventure Labor Buddies sounds like a good idea. I agree, it is something we'd have to get started on ASAP since labor is coming up quick for some! (Which seems crazy!)
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
Me: 36 DH: 41
Met: September 2005 Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
(PS it's really crazy to start thinking some are going to be delivering soon!!)
Ok going back to packing my house up. I hate moving.
Met: September 2005 Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
I probably wouldn't opt in for the labor buddies, just given my ridiculous schedule leading up to delivering, and not knowing how I'll feel afterwards. I'd hate to commit to it and then not follow through with it for someone. I'm fine with just posting an update myself whenever I am ready and have the time.
Due date 12/9
I can't figure out the pregnancy countdown tickers, but I do know how to make a signature!
#40andpregnant
As of 12/15/2017, my new hashtag is #41 and pregnant!
Labor Buddies was awesome to do on facebook too because of messenger.
Either way, end of October/November is a good idea because there will inevitably be someone who goes into labor early.
Also participation is so hard to count. I agree we want regulars, but also I don't post as much as I would like. Plus I think it also makes people feel inadequate, for not being online so much etc.
Edited to add: Creating a Secret FB group that people can't find isn't hard. I'm not offering to admin, but if someone wants help setting it up, I can.
as far as *lurkers* in the FB group, I believe someone else had mentioned Doing similiar - we did periodic reviews of participation and anyone who was not participating, we reached out to see if they still wanted to be a part of the group and encouraged participation. We realized that people go through difficult periods and that made things hard for them to participate but as long as they communicated that with us, we let them be u less it persisted for awhile. If not, we removed from group.
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2
Married 4/22/16
**TW**
BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w)
TTCAL 6/15/16
BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
Side note: I'm at t-minus 45 planned days already!
I saw a thing today saying I will be technically full term in the beginning of November, so that made me a little anxious to get this figured out! Plus all the twin mama's we have here, births are going to start sooner than later!
Married 4/22/16
**TW**
BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w)
TTCAL 6/15/16
BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
It was helpful for reference while you learned who everyone was and also made it easy to figure out if you had someone who slipped through. It's kept as a pinned post at the top for easy reference. Just an idea!
Me: 36 DH: 41
Met: September 2005 Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
@elvenchick92686 awesome
Married 4/22/16
**TW**
BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w)
TTCAL 6/15/16
BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
I volunteer as tribute (jk, admin). I'm not due until 12/30 and basically just assuming I won't have the baby until January and my job is sloooow some days so I can do crap at work.
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
I'll be admin if everyone's cool with that. How many do you think we need?
Also down for the sign with sn thing. Perhaps we should write out a list of official rules on here to discuss?
once the FB group gets rolling and we're all a few months in, with LOs, and more comfortable as a group, we can always reshuffle admins at that time. those that want to step back can do so and those that want to volunteer can at that time. the group would then vote on it or otherwise come to an agreement.
all of this goes to say, i do not volunteer as admin.
Met: September 2005 Married: October 2008 DS: 09/2014
I agree about admins (at least in the beginning) should be ladies who have been in the group since at least first tri. That being said, it looks like myself, @failuretofly and @MJDsquared are all set to be admins. If anyone else "qualifies" and has a desire to be an admin, please say so!
Married 4/22/16
**TW**
BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w)
TTCAL 6/15/16
BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
DX Diminished Ovarian Reserve, Factor V Leiden Mutation, Secondary Infertility
MFI (SA #1Count 11mill, Motility: 18%, Morphology: 1%)
AMH .328 | FSH 13.2