Future Facebook

katiegeminimoon

Don't worry, I am not suggesting we start a FB group yet  . I was just wondering what other ladies were thinking of when we all might be comfortable with one since the end of pregnancy is near for all of us! Also I am unsure of how exactly to do it so no creepers sneak in or who will want to be mods/admins and such.

MJDsquared

I know the protocol a lot of the time is not until after babies are born, which I'm fine with. Also fine with shortly before then, but I'd probably want to wait until November at least. I also think there should be some sort of criteria on how many times someone has posted. But even then, I don't feel like some random who comes in and posts 79 times in one day because they want to be part of a Facebook group should count. I don't know, I've never done this before so others who have been part of BMBs and moved to Facebook will probably know better!

ngarciabyu

I know this is a UO, but I prefer to start one before birth, that way those of us who join can get to know each other and be more apart of the birth stories etc. But I'm cool with after too, of course .  I have been apart of two BMBs that went to FB and neither had any problems with creepers, I was never an admin or anything though so I don't know what went on behind the scenes.

katiegeminimoon

@MJDsquared I figured we would wait a few more months, but I am just a crazy planner and was curious what everyone else thought/how it would work. I agree there should be criteria to be allowed in the group.

kyrwyn

I would be down for a FB group, probably around Thanksgiving-ish or after some of the babies for our board arrive.  I also should not admin, even though I usually volunteer for these things.  One of my mommy resolutions is to not try to do all the things, while also having all the family in town and being a FTM with a newborn.

FakeFinn

An FB group around November would be great. We've got a bunch of people on here, who've posted pretty regularly (on and off), but I also have no idea what to do about the fly by's. 

MJDsquared

@ngarciabyu I think I like the idea of creating it before birth too, but I wasn't sure how other people felt about that!

katiegeminimoon

I would be cool starting it before birth, that way we aren't all trying to figure out joining and also figuring out who is who while everyone is starting to give birth. I think FB would be a lot easier for the many middle of the night conversations that will probably happen when we all have newborns! My due date is the beginning of December, so the sooner the better for me, haha.

peachy13

For those in a FB group with your former BMBs, how does this work? Do you become "friends" and like/comment on posts and stuff, or are there messages and chats throughout the day? Just curious. I check social media a lot but rarely post things.

elev2017

I know many of us ladies expecting twins have a very good chance of actually delivering in November, so I'd be on board with joining a FB group any time around then. This is the first time I've ever been part of a BMB or any TB group, so I'm not sure how people have done the elimination of randos in the past, but maybe we could have some sort of nomination system, with lovetits or mentions?

katiegeminimoon

@peachy13 I am in a group from the knot (from the first time I got married back in '13). You do not automatically become friends. You are just in the same group, which will be a secret group that nobody outside of the group can see ANYTHING within the group. Secret groups aren't even searchable, you have to be invited by email. People make lots of posts throughout the day that people comment on/like. It works a lot like threads here with less structure. There are also various group chats usually happening on fb messenger too.

katiegeminimoon

Also, you can obviously click on anyone in the groups name and be able to see anything on the public fb page, which is why a lot of ladies are hesitant to start a group too soon.

dkizz82

I’m good with one. Don’t want to be admin. Ha! My A15 group has one and we’re close. I think they have had to had many contributions over the entire pregnancy, or when they introduced themselves. I mean, we know and recognize the names of the faithful. 

dkizz82

ktcakes87 said:

Also, you can obviously click on anyone in the groups name and be able to see anything on the public fb page, which is why a lot of ladies are hesitant to start a group too soon.

And this is why it’s important to have your Facebook locked down. Haha

disneyfan0511

I'm still very active and involved with my May 2011 BMB on Facebook. We did have a few creepers and one catfish experience, but the group that remains now is really solid and I call a lot of those mom's friends. I definitely think you need to set protocol on who can join, and have two or three admins to watch for suspect posters. And make sure the group is secret so outsiders can't see what's posted / join. Just my two cents. I'd be open to it soonish. I prefer posting pics on FB vs the Bump since the bump owns your pics you post here!! 

txmomma16

disneyfan0511 said:

 I prefer posting pics on FB vs the Bump since the bump owns your pics you post here!! 

THIS. 

AFM - The possibility of someone seeing my public Facebook doesn't bother me. I have had Facebook since 2004 when it was just College students in the northeast. I have spent a lot of time locking down my profile and fine tuning what is visible. 

Marley629

So with my s13 BMB, we started a FB group around our 8th month. I'm open to doing one at this point now that we are in 3rd tri but will go with the majority.  I suggest a few admins as it was a lot for 1 person initially.  We have 4 admins now - (I'm more than willing to volunteer when that time comes if no one else wants it. I'm currently an admin of my s13 one) 

Marley629

@peachy13 so initially wenalm did not become friends on FB and our group was made secret after a couple weeks and new members were not allowed in without a vote.  We ultimately started friend requesting each other about 3 months after our FB group started. They are some of my best friends. 

katiegeminimoon

Whenever this does happen I'll volunteer to be an admin, but I definitely don't want to be the only one!

abcola

One thought would be to use the weekly ticker change for a sort of vetting, along with having one volunteer from each day, just to keep it from being overwhelming on a few people... I can be the Tuesday admin if needed (our sad little Tuesday group that hardly gets a check in) 

katiegeminimoon

@abcola That's not a bad idea, but do all the regulars participate on the ticker changes? I've just seen a lot of comments about not a lot of participation there. I know Friday is usually just a couple ladies.

Kirss

I think when my N12 board started we emailed/private messaged the chosen "admin" there and she sent us invites to be in the FB group. I think that group started way before November, probably around week 20. I also agree in general to have your FB locked down, so many creepers. Either way I'm down for a FB group whenever. 

mdcd44127

@ktcakes87 I definitely like the idea of a secret group. I have my FB on privacy lockdown and don't participate much, if at all, on public pages/groups. I don't even like when I get tagged in other people's public comments. TheBump is the most "public" I've ever been on social media, and I've already changed my username once (part of me wants to go back to my old posts and edit out the pictures, haha).

alysapuggles

I dont participate in the ticker change thread bc mine is on Sunday and I just tend to forget about it, but I still consider myself a regular here, just not a super frequent poster. Not sure of the best way to do the vetting though. 

kln62689

FB is so much more user friendly so I'm down to go there whenever. I'd suck less at being active (posting) here if their mobile app was not junk. I am in a regional 'new mamas' private group on FB and it is super helpful and very active. 

MJDsquared

I've tried to participate in Saturday ticker change but the last thing I want to do on weekends is touch my laptop, and doing a full check-in from my phone is too much work for me. Then once Monday rolls around there are so many check-ins that I'm like, "Nope, I can't."

So don't leave me behind! Hahaha. Also, if there's still need for any admins when we get around to this, I'd be down.

whiska

Thursday ticker change is a little sad so I only initiate that one sporadically (but if it's there I participate!)

kersey0208

I totally agree with fb ease of use as opposed to the bump. I would participate a lot more on FB I think. I have such a hard time with the bump mobile app and I'm never on a computer anymore (well besides the entire day for work haha) anyways I'd be down for a FB group whenever. 

ameliabedelia-2

I was wondering if one had already been started, and maybe I just didn't make the cut

blueskies17

+1 for FB whenever! I'm not great with social media in general but I find it even harder to post on bump mobile. 

mdcd44127

I think when the time comes (looks like mid-November is the common consensus), maybe the easiest way to gather names for willing FB group admins would be to post a poll? If people are up for it they can select "Yes I'd be an Admin" (and there could be another option for "I'll be an Admin if absolutely necessary", since it's tough to commit definitively if you're on the fence and not sure whether others would volunteer). Just trying to find an easy way to organize when the time times, feel free to tell me to sit down & stfu.

katiegeminimoon

@djd0404 aren't polls private though? If they are we wouldn't be able to see who voted to be an admin. 

tmk0325

In my other group we started about a month before the babies were born. I'm not an admin but I think they did look to see how often people posted and whoever took the role as admins everyone else needed to message them personally on the bump with their real name to get added to the secret facebook group.  Once we had the group established we do a daily thread for questions and comments and then we do fun one of threads for like HDBD or Halloween Photos or random things like that. Keeps it fairly organized! I also really do not have time to be an admin with 3 under 2, but I'd be happy to join one come November.

flowerpower5838

Ok so I am not an admin for my March 16 group, but this is how it went for us:

One person (who created the FB group) volunteered to field Bump PMs of email addresses associated with FB accounts (that alleviates the need to "friend" people from the get go I believe). Our group is secret - meaning no one except members can see what you post in the group. We started it in early January, so about 2 months before the first due date and about 1.5 months before the first baby.

As far as the "selection" process, so to speak, 4 people were selected as admins (it was informal, but they were all people who participated frequently, obvi) and I think it was left up to them to determine if someone qualifies. We erred on the side of inclusive when letting people in, but down the road if someone was inactive for X amount of time, they were removed because people put a lot of personal information out there and it's kind of weird to be a part of a group that you don't participate in (there are instances when people specifically mentioned that they needed to step away - obviously this was perfectly fine and didn't count "against" anyone). 

My personal opinion: people that rarely participate here who say they will participate more once we move to FB won't. That was one of the big "add me" lines that people gave and they were/are about as active as they were here on TB. But I do think that people should be given the benefit of the doubt. While we do tend to be a little more open in what's shared on FB versus TB, you still have the same FB privacy settings as you do normally, so you are responsible for the content shared. You don't have to accept friendships until you're comfortable and you can accept some and not others (or at least I did lol whoops). 

I'd be cool with being an admin if needed. Not sure if I participate enough to be considered, though?

balletnerd

I would definitely join the group. I agree that Nov would prob be a good time frame.

mdcd44127

@ktcakes87 Shoot, you're right, I wasn't considering the anonymity aspect. Hmm... I guess people will just have to volunteer the old-fashioned way.

@flowerpower5838 That's really helpful information!

elcd458

@abcola @ktcakes87 Like @alysapuggles I am in the Sunday ticker change group and we have been huge slackers and rarely have a dedicated weekly post. Not to mention I exclusively mobile Bump and don't even have a ticker/siggy 

I think @flowerpower5838 suggestion is a good one!  I'm so paranoid about my social media getting creeped since I work in the public sector.  

holzie-2

What are we considering active participation?  At this point I'm not sure I'd qualify.  I post, but sporadically.  I try to post on all Wed ticker changes, but they don't come out each week, but by the same token, I don't create one if it isn't up.  

I'd be willing to admin, but again, I don't know if I qualify since I don't post all the time.  

tamaraaaa

My A14 is super active on Facebook.  I'll say that the groups that broke off early tended to have the most drama and crazies, and the big group that went to FB happened after babies were born (and the Bump imploded).  There was a lot of us vs them with people that left TB and those still around, but the big group that ended up going to FB is very close.  Most of the early groups aren't active, minus a few people that kept in touch individually.

In our Facebook, it's a secret group.  Thankfully the lurkers don't even read anything anymore, but our kids are 3 1/2 and there is still a few people I'm like "wtf who are you?!" when they finally post. We do a daily post for the chat, and keep up with that mostly.  If there is anything important or a great convo, it'll be posted separately.  We have an expecting thread, and a few others beyond the daily chat and when those get full or we stop getting notifications we just start another.  

Also, I'm going on my annual BMB girls weekend starting tomorrow!  I think the main thing is just realize if you want privacy, it ends with Facebook.  First, it's easier to communicate so convos get silly.  I know way too much about my bump ladies-way more than IRL friends and because of that you become closer.  Second, if you want to be sneaky and only share veryyyyy limited info with the group, don't join.  Don't tell you life right away, but it's just weird to keep that up with FB and will generally make you seem creepy-especially when everyone else is open and honest and you aren't.

elvenchick92686

I am part of a moms supporting moms group and we have rules on flybys cause alot of the newbies like to try to sell things and they get booted but its a wonderful group. so i think a fb group is a wonderful idea, i tend to check that more than here. But you can have any number of moderators so once can be in charge of one thing a day wether it be ticker changes or venting or whatever. I always forget about my ticker change cause its on sunday and i work both weekend days lol. But i do agree a November timeline as well and im scheduled to be induced around thanksgiving 

anewadventure

I think starting the group in November is fine. 

I think the admins need to be people that regularly contribute and are familiar with the entire board. I think there needs to absolutely be a minimum standard to entry but that it is hard to pick one. For example, in my S14 board, you had to have a minimum of 500 posts. This was hard to quantify in that you can see someone's post count for their history on the bump but not, say, which groups those were in. No one wants to dive that deep. 

I'm probably a big meanie head but no, I'm not a fan of allowing in any old person in that is pregnant and due in December-ish, or someone that randomly pops in here to be like "HAY, here's my HBDB pic, did we start a FB group yet? I sure to like FB! I don't like to post on TB!" 
If you can't be bothered to post on here, why should you get to join? This debate can cause a lot of hurt feelings and drama but it's just plain weird to have a FB group with a bunch of people that you have no idea who they are. 

That being said, if we said a min of 500 posts, we might have 10 people in our FB group. So we need to come up with something that works for us. 

As for invites and such, the group should be secret. I believe we PM'd email addresses for the invites to the chosen admins. You didn't even have to do real name, which for example would be  useless for me because my settings are on lock down and you can't just search for me, I won't show up. The entries should be locked after a certain amount of time. New entries should be voted on by the FB group in the period after it is started but it is not yet locked down. 

Coming up with rules for the group is messy. There should be at least be rules regarding over the top spamming of sales products, lurkers / not participating, etc. but I know in my current FB group we never did resolve the issue of consensus voting, unanimous voting, what to do when the group disagrees (which is going to happen when you get such a mix of personalities). I hope we don't have too much dramz and great schisms but we shall see what enfolds.