PGAL Check In (week of Sept. 13)

justkeeptrying · September 2017

This is a safe space for those who are pregnant after a loss. General TW for this thread.

How far along are you?

Any appointments coming up?

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

GTKY: What's your favourite quick, go to meal?

justkeeptrying · September 2017

How far along are you? 12+2

Any appointments coming up? Next Thursday is NT scan

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): For the most part I'm doing okay. Any time I have cramps I panic a little. I'll feel better after the NT scan next week I think. They're going to look for Gastroschisis, which was the cause of our last MC at 15 weeks.

GTKY: What's your favourite quick, go to meal? Before I was pregnant I would have said quesadillas. But lately they've been turning my stomach. Frozen pizza ends up being our go to lately. Which is horribly unhealthy but at least we are all fed.

SoraLk · September 2017

How far along are you? 12+3

Any appointments coming up? Just did my blood work yesterday, so far everything looks like it's good. Blood counts indicate I'm fighting something, which makes sense...I am taking medicine for an ear infection (Ow...)

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I'm doing alright. I'm at the point where I keep asking myself if this is really real. Like I'm worried this is a dream I'll wake up from... If it gets too bad I'll try the fetal Doppler. Last night, though, baby didn't seem to fond of me poking around because the heartbeat kept moving. Sorry, Minnow.

GTKY: What's your favourite quick, go to meal? Honestly, a nice grilled cheese usually is my favorite quick meal. If I don't feel like making anything I'll just whip one up real quick.

chasingroygbiv · September 2017

How far along are you?

17+2

Any appointments coming up?

Anatomy scan and appt with MFM next week

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

Hanging in there. Now that I'm feeling movement (yay!) I'm finding myself waiting to feel baby before I can go on with my day and if I don't I'm already panicking. It's like I say I'll be better with each coming milestone and I'm not. I still worry excessively. We aren't announcing until after the scan and I'm having SUCH a hard time sucking this belly in enough now at kiddo drop off/pick up and sports. At this point I figure if someone asks I'll obviously tell, but ask that they keep it quiet for one more week. The kids are soooo anxious to tell. I feel like a mean mom making them keep such a secret, but at the same time it's what's most comfortable to me I guess. Symptoms I'm actually doing ok! Still light headed and dizzy and of course dealing with constipation, but I'm getting energy back and am able to eat far more than I have been.

GTKY: What's your favourite quick, go to meal?
Ooh, that's tough. Quick?! A turkey wrap I guess!

kalawa · September 2017

How far along are you?
14w6d

Any appointments coming up?
Had a MW appt today. Went well. When she was trying to find the heartbeat she was having trouble (cue panic). But then she said she had found it right away but it moved. So she tried for a few more minutes lower and found it nice and clear. The baby kept moving away from the doppler. It swooshed under the doppler at one point and that was one of the first times this pregnancy I could definitely say I felt a flutter.

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

I'm doing well. Still a lot of anxiety over the constant bleeding, but reassured today with a heartbeat. I can't believe my next appt I will hopefully be finding out the sex of this baby...it's going so fast, but so slow.

GTKY: What's your favourite quick, go to meal? Spaghetti. I always have sauce in my freezer (my mom's Italian and makes large pots and gives me the extra).

eller-2 · September 2017

How far along are you? 12w5d

Any appointments coming up? Just had NT scan, and all looks good!

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) After a good appointments, I am always great, and maybe particularly so today with the second trimester so very close. What an emotional rollercoaster pregnancy is.

GTKY: What's your favourite quick, go to meal? Quesadillas or breakfast burritos

senora76 · September 2017

How far along are you? 11+4

Any appointments coming up? NT scan on Monday! Hurry up already!

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I have a worry that never goes away, although I have a strange confidence with this pregnancy I did not have with my others, which then messes with my head because I don't want to jinx anything. My doppler is the lowest quality kind but I still use it every few days... or if I get a weird pain...

GTKY: What's your favourite quick, go to meal? I normally love cooking and baking - now I don't feel like making anything... My kids know my pregnancy cooking leaves much to be desired... Grilled cheese and quesadillas are our quick go-to meal...but I wouldn't necessarily call it my favorite LOL I think we are all pretty sick of it by now haha.

@eller-2 yay for your NT!

@kalawa yay for your flutter!

@chasingroygbiv yay for your anatomy scan next week! I can't believe you are still able to hide the bump... I'm living old lady house dresses for another week before I out myself with maternity clothes...

fatstagnation · September 2017

How far along are you?
12+3

Any appointments coming up?

Got my hair cut today. Oh, not that kind of appt, right.

NT scan and blood draw for Harmony tomorrow! Will update when I get back/Friday at latest.

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here
Doing ok. Getting used to telling people. Mostly people I barely know, like the girl who cuts my hair. She was so excited!

GTKY: What's your favourite quick, go to meal?
I eat a quesadilla for lunch pretty much every day. hahahaha For dinners, when I'm really desperate for quick, it's pasta with oil and fresh herbs & parmesan. But I fall back on stir fry at least once a week. I can get the stir fry part done in the time it takes to boil the rice.

Edit, because I'm a self-centered jerk apparently - Congrats to everyone who had good results this week!!!

pettycrocker · September 2017

How far along are you? 14wks

Any appointments coming up? Quick doppler appt today, and BONUS we got the results of our NIPT testing back, we are having a healthy baby BOY!! So excited! We have 2 girls

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) Feeling better finally, thank you 2nd TRI

GTKY: What's your favourite quick, go to meal? Crock pot anything. Seriously I live for crock pot, it's not really "quick" but it's so easy, just throw all the ingredients in and let it cook

becausescience · September 2017

@justkeeptrying FX for your NT scan next week. I have random cramping too and I think it is just my uterus stretching or early RLP.

@SoraLk I'm right there with you on the not believing it is real. Glad your doppler seems to help a bit - even if baby wants to "swim" away from it.

@chasingroygbiv I think I missed your due date changing because I'm like 17+2! Feeling movement is the best! I can't wait!

@kalawa Those early doppler attempts can be so nerve-wracking. Glad she was able to find it - and you got a little movement! I'm so sorry you're still dealing with bleeding.

@eller-2 Yay for a great scan!

@fatstagnation I'm with you on feeling weird telling people. Honestly last time, I just waited until it was obvious for a lot of people, because I felt so odd announcing.

@pettycrocker Congrats on a HEALTHY boy!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

How far along are you?

12w1d

Any appointments coming up?

NT scan Friday, OB appt Tuesday

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

Nervous about the scan Friday. Mentally prepping for bad news as I still am not 100% convinced this is real. We've told our immediate families, but won't tell friends/work/extended family until after this scan. So I'm also nervous to announce, as DD is only a year old. I'm especially nervous to tell work.

GTKY: What's your favourite quick, go to meal?
Does Taco Bell not count for this? (JK JK.. not really though

, HDBD is making me want a Cheesy Gordita Crunch)

I like soups from Costco with some bread or grilled cheese in the fall and winter. When/if I ever make homemade soup, I'll freeze some to eat a later date. Homemade calzones are pretty quick with this no rise dough. Oh and Lemon Pepper Tilapia is pretty quick and yummy too.

chasingroygbiv · September 2017

@becausescience Yes it changed by a little over a week at my NT scan. I originally posted my dude date according to LMP (because the NP I first saw brainwashed me into going by that), but I knew it was off because I ovulated extremely early from what I usually do. My cycles have been wonky since my losses + starting Progesterone while TTC. My last period was late and didn't come until I stopped the Progesterone. Never know though, DD was late, so this babe could be, too and could come closer to my first due date.

chasingroygbiv · September 2017

Hugs to everyone feeling nervous or worried. I keep telling myself those feelings will get better, but I'm still feeling them daily.

bb3vj3n · September 2017

ladies - I am trying SO HARD to not freak myself out right now. just went pee and when I wiped- saw just the smallest bit of a brown tinge to the colour. wiped again... nothing.

I don't know what I could have possibly done too see any type of bleeding. We haven't had sex.

last US was just over 2 wks ago at 12wks and the baby was looking great. im 14+1 now...i really thought i was out of the weeds.

I have an OB appointment tomorrow.... im supposed to be at work within the hour. i don't know what to do

chasingroygbiv · September 2017

@bb3vj3n Positive thoughts to you! Do you have symptoms of an infection at all?

bb3vj3n · September 2017

@chasingroygbiv no I don't think so.
I'm feeling a little bit crampy - but it only starter after so I'm wondering if that's just in my head and I'm psyking myself out

chasingroygbiv · September 2017

If it were me (I'm only slightly crazy and worry filled) I would call and see if they can have you run in quick and check on baby with the Doppler.

bb3vj3n · September 2017

@chasingroygbiv I want to do that... but i also really need to go to work today.

i think I'm going to go and if I see any more spotting ill call.... if not I'll just wait for my appointment tomorrow.

I don't wasn't to worry my H so I haven't said anything. instead I'm stressed so I'm snapping at him instead and I feel bad. But I know he can handle a little moodiness and I don't want him freaking out also...

kalawa · September 2017

@bb3vj3n I hope everything is ok! It's no harm if you quickly call your doc and maybe they can fit you in quickly to check with the doppler. Anything to ease your mind. If personal anecdotes help you, keep reading.

I had brown spotting my last pregnancy at 13w and baby is 1yo and running around yelling banana. The doctor said when the placenta implants it can cause another "implantation bleed", which he assumed was the case. And with my first son I had brown spotting at 14w because of a low lying placenta. And now I'm just bleeding brown everyday because pf the SCH. The midwife said bright red blood is what is concerning.

bb3vj3n · September 2017

@kalawa @chasingroygbiv

thank you both. I'm thinking I just freaked myself out a bit. I don't see anything now... just in that one moment.

I have an appt tomorrow so I'll just have my doc use the Doppler to calm my nerves

eller-2 · September 2017

I'm sorry you had a scare, @bb3vj3n. Glad you have an appointment tomorrow to calm your nerves!

justkeeptrying · September 2017

@bb3vj3n, I'm sorry for your scare today. Have you noticed anything else? Thankful you have an appointment tomorrow. Please keep us posted. Hopefully this appointment gives you some reassurance.

justkeeptrying · September 2017

This morning I met with a Genetics Counsellor. I thought it was a pre-screen for my NT scan next week.

It was exhausting. And I feel like I left with more questions than answers.

We went over my last pregnancies. I had to do a complete family history of my family and my husband's.

Basically, in the end, she said the nuchal scan next week might not tell us if there's Gastroschisis. She showed me the pathology report from our last miscarriage and baby had a cleft lip, and the organs were protruding. It's not 100% that it was Gastroschisis after all. As this could've happened due to an abdominal hernia or post death too.

My 20 week scan will be at this bigger hospital so they can look more closely for birth defects and have all the info here in one place.

I feel so frustrated because my OB said the exact opposite as this counsellor. She said I'd be far enough along at the NT scan to be able to detect Gastroschisis. So now I don't understand why I'm having this scan done since this was supposed to be the whole point of it.

Basically I feel like we won't have any answers/feel in the "safe zone" until we are holding our baby in our arms.

bb3vj3n · September 2017

@justkeeptrying no.... just the one time. nothing since. I'll update after my appointment tomorrow.

as for your concerns...i actually found it odd when you mentioned they would be looking for gastro during your NT as my understanding of the test is that it is only a screen (and not actually diagnostic) for trisonomy 18, downs and spina bifida specifically. I'm not a doctor obv- so I didn't say anything because what do I know? I'm sorry that you were so disappointed with this information.

I did wonder why none of these genetic findings from your last loss were not shared with you prior to now? why the delay?

i wish there was something I could say to calm your nerves that wouldn't sound patronizing. I am sorry you didn't get the info you were hoping for - but on the bright side- by proceeding with the NT test, you get an additional US as you end your first tri and you get to see your little munchkin again. also, despite it not helping diagnose gastro.... you will still walk away knowing more than you did prior to testing.

eller-2 · September 2017

@justkeeptrying, how frustrating. I'm sorry you are getting conflicting information, and that you may not get the answers or the comfort you expected next week. Hopefully the scan will still give you some comfort. I was really on the fence about doing the scan in addition to the NIPT, but it was comforting to see every angle of our wiggling baby and to have the ultrasound tech confirm that, for now, everything looks good.

After a late loss, I'm not sure when or if I'll feel like we're in the "safe zone," but I think passing loss milestones and every piece of good information will make me feel closer to it - hopefully the same will be true for you!

mintea · September 2017

@justkeeptrying, I'm sorry. That's frustrating. I do think it may be a bit early to detect gastroschisis reliably. I had read that sometimes the intestines don't finish migrating inward until 16 weeks.

How far along are you? 12+3

Any appointments coming up? NT scan tomorrow so I'm getting nervous

How are you doing? Still really tired. It's almost debilitating. And I'm getting nervous about tomorrow's NT scan.

GTKY: What's your favourite quick, go to meal? To make? Egg and cheese sandwich.

justkeeptrying · September 2017

Thanks ladies! @bb3vj3n, yeah I just trusted my OB. She definitely said it's not the typical use of the NT scan, but that it could be requested that it be used for this purpose given my last loss. I knew about th Gastroschisis after my loss but nothing was mentioned about the cleft lip. That threw me off when she said it today. I guess I'll have more to talk to my OB about at my next appointment. So frustrated!

fatstagnation · September 2017

@justkeeptrying that is all so frustrating. I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you.
@bb3vj3n that is scary, but hopefully (probably!) not a bad sign. My midwife is always telling to try not to freak out if I have any spotting, it's normal. Hard to believe after all we've been through, but I just keep repeating it like a mantra.

I had the NT scan today, and everything was normal. The ultrasound tech said the brain looks like it should. She could see 4 chambers in the heart. HB 170. She saw the location of the stomach and where the umbilical chord connected. Measured the thickness at back of neck. I'm trying to think what else, for anyone who wants to know what it's like. She also looked at my cervix and ovaries. Don't know what ovaries have to do with anything at this point, but it seems like they look at them every ultrasound. *shrug*

LO was so funny! Wiggled a lot and laid on his/her back, long legs sticking up, and paddled her/his feet. Ha.

I know this is no guarantee and we will get Harmony results next week, hopefully. I'm further than I've ever made it before and I'm starting to feel better. Wishing the same to all of you!

senora76 · September 2017

@bb3vj3n sorry about your scare - I am overly paranoid same as you... I hope you get some good reassurance tomorrow.

@justkeeptrying I haven't had the warm fuzzys from my genetic counselor either. My situation is different because in addition to AMA testing my loss was different - they are doing post mortem testing on my "healthy" 3 1/2 month old.and we will not have the results for 3-4 months but she was more negative than I expected. Mars' medical records all show he was a completely healthy apgars 8,9 full term (10 days early) birth. Healthy baby, Normal NIPT, NT screened baby. Now she says to be prepared to do an amnio if/when we get the "full exome sequencing" back. To be honest, I do not feel in my heart of hearts Mars had anything genetically wrong with him, I think he left us for reasons our medical science will not be able to explain... Don't get me wrong, I am a science girl and they are running tests on both Jose and me, and if they find something that may affect this child, I will dig deeper, but personally, I am NOT bracing for an amnio. It is impossible to not let our prior losses affect how we feel now... We are all psychologically damaged... its why we are all part of this group... My point is to try not to let the genetic counselor get you down... It does seem a bit early to check for structural differences other than that nuchal translucency, the nose bone, and spina bifida, right now, but perhaps you can request additional ultrasounds in the mean time... My RE was full of negativity too... and I just realize these people run on stats... Genetic counselors see a lot, as do REs... It's got to suck getting new info they could have told you about earlier...so I'm sorry about that. I did get referred to a perinatologist in my last pregnancy because of my SCH... perhaps they can refer you to one this time... they have higher res ultrasounds to detect things earlier and present options earlier (keep in mind my perinatologist was also quite negative - talking about terminating due to my SCH). I dunno- personally I'm a bit fed up with western medicine LOL

justkeeptrying · September 2017

@senora76, thank you for your response. I really appreciate it. I can't imagine going through the testing you've had to do after the passing of Mars. My appointment today just opened up old wounds, and I would imagine you go through similar feelings when you have to hear about your beautiful boy.

I understood the Genetics Counsellor was just doing her job, and I can appreciate that most of her job is based on statistics. She was very kind given that. But...I wish I had never met her

kalawa · September 2017

@senora76 Can I ask why the perinatologist suggested termination due to your SCH? And can I also ask why you were referred to one? I don't know what they do. And I have a large SCH so I'm just very curious.

senora76 · September 2017

@kalawa I went from PPO with all private drs to Kaiser HMO mid pregnancy... so I was given 2 totally different opinions... When I had the PPO my ob/gyn told me all the bleeding was not right, dx with threatened miscarraige and referred me to the perinatologist simply on the bleeding - my bleeding was like I was bleeding out - splattering on the floor, etc... guess it freaked him out so I went to the perinatologist, who dx with an SCH on the leading edge of my placenta and placenta previa. They looked at my chart and said I have other children and they needed to tell me there was a risk of maternal death, as well as fetal death, micro premie with all sorts of medical issues... I ended up going home taking a ton of vitimin e naturally procured, and I was about to switch to Kaiser HMO due to finances and start over anyway- which I did then had another bleed and wound up in the Kaiser ER - they were more chill, like its an SCH, the baby is fine, see your new OB. I kept taking the vitimin e and saw my new dr within a week or so... the paperwork I was given from the perinatologist said something like "SCH is on the leading edge of placenta with placenta previa. patient was counseled and not interested in termination." It didnt specify why they said that, but my new OB/GYN said USC was a teaching/research hospital and was likely covering their ass - he said not to worry, the SCH appeared to be shrinking in the ultrasound, and he thought it was the placenta previa that was more about the risk of maternal death... but the placenta previa had moved up by then, the SCH was smaller, and he prescribed me progesterone because I had a prior preterm birth... but other than that he told me not to worry... and he was right... SCH cleared and so did the PP... Mars was born perfectly healthy... and my placenta was delivered and also was perfectly formed and healthy, no hemmoraging perfect recovery, and as far as we know, it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he took a nap at daycare and never woke up. His autopsy could not determine a cause (aka SIDS).

justkeeptrying · September 2017

I had the most vivid nightmare last night that I miscarried this baby. I woke up in tears and completely felt it was real. I just came to the bathroom to confirm, no blood, no cramps.

It was horrible and now I'm just trying to shake this feeling. Really wish I had an appointment sooner than next Thursday.

chasingroygbiv · September 2017

@justkeeptrying Please try calling and see if you can get in sooner to hopefully calm your nerves. I've had a few of these nightmares, too, and they really shake you. Ugh.

senora76 · September 2017

@justkeeptrying im sorry about the dream - I had one like that early on... do you have a doppler you can use for reassurance?
I had a super vivid dream last night I gave birth to a 5.22 KG (living with a European I now dream in metric system) baby boy that was born wearing grey shorts?!?! I looked under the shorts to make sure it was a boy and it had a man size penis... LOL

kalawa · September 2017

@senora76 That is seriously a little horrifying and hilarious all in one! And thanks for the info. I don't understand much about the insurance stuff because Canadian over here, but I got the jist of it. I also got an ER doc that said my bleeding SCH was an inevitable MC because it was so much and my cervix was a tad open. Then two ER OBs, and my midwife said he should never have touched my cervix while I was bleeding, and that it was open because the blood has to escape somehow. I wish the ER called the OBs down from the L&D floor when pregnancy complications come in.

@justkeeptrying Hope you were able to calm down after that dream. Those are the worst.

@bb3vj3n How did your appt go today?

mintea · September 2017

Appointment today for NT scan and all looked good!

They're considering moving my due date to April 1 because the first scan was 5 days behind and this scan is 6 days behind. I know that I ovulate late in general so it shouldn't be unnerving to me, especially after such a beautiful NT scan, but PGAL brain makes any issue an issue. The tech also seconded what SneakPeek said, which was boy!

syssa-o · September 2017

How far along are you?
13+3

Any appointments coming up?

On September 26 we have a fetal echo for the twins. It won't be as comprehensive as the 18-20 week one will be, but it will give us a good idea that the structure of their hearts is correct. Also meeting my OB that day.

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
I am having major appointment anxiety. Both ultrasounds I have been to so far, I kept waiting to hear something wrong. The nt scan, until I heard the printer going because he was printing me a picture I thought they'd be gone.

GTKY: What's your favourite quick, go to meal?
does ordering pizza count?

bb3vj3n · September 2017

@kalawa just left now!

everything was fine. got to listen to the HB on the Doppler which was nice a strong. nerves have been calmed for now

senora76 · September 2017

@kalawa basically there is no hard and fast general opinion on SCH. Yes, some are disasterous...but most of them clear up like mine did. I had the two major bleeds which sound like your episodes... but then just had a light flow of brown/pink for many weeks... I don't know why you get the bleeds, some say its the placenta tearing off, some say its an injury to the placenta. My advice is to take vitimin E, and to see if you can have the ultrasound tech search for your SCH in your next ultrasound. If you can still see it in your level II ultrasound/anatomy scan they should be able to examine the blood flow to/from the SCH, but HOPEFULLY your's will have dissolved/resolved by that point, as mine had. I bled in my prior pregnancies too, but NOTHING like the bleeding I had with the SCH.

@mintea - my EDD has jumped around too - I know I ovulated on July 8 (opk+ for 2 days prior) and every ultrasound has given me the EDD of 3/31, but based on my LMP, it comes out to be 4/3 and they say its not enough of a difference to change it in my files... I don't care tho - I'm still going with 3/31 and I'm not leaving this March group!

justkeeptrying · September 2017

I am so back and forth about getting a doppler @senora76. I know it would reassure me to hear the heartbeat, but I also know that I'll panic if I can't find it. And maybe it's there and I just am not skilled enough to get it. I'm 12+4 so still in that iffy timeframe for finding it consistently I think.

I work in a hospital and am really wanting to become friends with an ER nurse just so they can use their doppler on me. But I know that would be ethically wrong of me...lol

senora76 · September 2017

@justkeeptrying I have a love/hate with my doppler... my first 2 pregnancies I didn't have one and everything turned out okay - I didn't have that nagging desire to use it all the time... the doppler I have really sucks- and I waste way too much time trying to find the HB- and I get frustrated... but then again, I do feel a lot of reassurance, and my husband sometimes asks to use it... but I really hate having to hunt for it... it does take away the mystery, and makes it a lot harder to just let go and accept that I'm pregnant... which is really what I should be doing. I am 11+6 and my own heartbeat often drowns out any other sounds... I just cannot wait til I feel the baby move.. and I know I still have a ways to go...

Who was it that was getting weird pains? I am still getting weird pains right where the pregnancy is... its not RLP, I get those too if I get up too quick... this is different. Never had this pain in any other pregnancy...?

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