@justkeeptrying just my two cents... for what its worth. Don't invest in the Doppler. I know if I had one - I would be paranoid and would feel the need to use it all the time. you don't need that anxiety. Also - a Doppler isn't going to prevent anything from happening (god forbid). All you can do is focus on staying healthy.
do what feels right for you in the end... remember too that you are only a few weeks a away from being able to feel your little one moving around in there - which will be able to help you know things are ok. just a little longer.
Thanks ladies! Yeah, I do feel like in the end a doppler would probably bring me more anxiety than reassurance. I can't wait to start feeling movement and be able to feel those wiggles when I'm scared. Just gotta get through these next few weeks. I'm counting down the days until Thursday when my NT scan is and can check on baby again!
This group is amazing already. So thankful for everyone's support!
@justkeeptrying I have to agree w/those who said getting a Doppler might only cause more stress and worry. At the doctor this week, they used the Doppler for the first time during this pregnancy and it took the nurse an uncomfortably long time to find the heartbeat. She had to call in another nurse, who found it right away. Nerve racking to say the least, and these are people who do this everyday!
I had another vivid nightmare that I was bleeding and woke up thinking it was real for a minute. It was horrible. Happy I had a good checkup and heard the heartbeat this week
Good morning ladies - hope everyone had a restorative weekend - NT is in T-2 hours 7 minutes... let the appointment anxiety set in... I think there is at least another one of us who has theirs today too...
Hope everyone has a nice week
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
Thinking of you, @senora76 (and others with pending appointments)! Hope that appointment anxiety quickly turns to excitement as you get to watch your little one for a bit.
All went well - I measured 1.9 which is in the normal range for NT - No sign of a penis - so it appears the NIPT test was right...she was moving the whole time - I measured 12+4 and they officially changed my due date to 3/31 (officially 12+2) which is where I know I am at based on ovulation. One piece of surprising info... Never in the 3 prior pregnancies I've had, have they ever tested me for tay-sachs and it turns out I just found out I am a carrier. Jose may have to be tested too.
I have to start McKenna in a few weeks... Does anyone have experience with this? Last time I did the gross suppositories... but these are weekly shots. Progesterone because I had a prior preterm birth (5 weeks early).
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@senora76 I've taken these shots with my previous 3 pregnancies because I also had a preterm birth (22 weeks), and they've been great. It's just an IM injection in the butt cheek, the OB taught my husband how to give them, and I just make sure to switch sides every week so one spot doesn't get too sore. It's given me a lot of piece of mind, and all three pregnancies were healthy and full term.
Sorry if my face seems new, I participated at the beginning of this pregnancy, but my PGAL anxiety has made it hard for me to want to participate and get too attached to the board. I'm trying to move past it.
1st BFP 6/7/10 premature delivery and loss at 22w2d on 10/4/10
2nd BFP 10/10/11, EDD 6/2/12,natural m/c 10/13/11 at 6w5d
3rd BFP 12/25/11, DD born 8/31/12
4th BFP 1/3/14, DD born 9/5/14 5th BFP 11/15, DS born 7/24/16 6th BFP 7/14/16, EDD 3/20/18
I'm so, so nervous for my anatomy scan this week. I've just been freaking out to myself for days. I finally slyly mentioned to DH that I was "a little anxious" last night..
@senora76 Glad everything went well! @chasingroygbiv I hope your anatomy scan goes terrific! I am feeling anxious and I just got the referral paperwork for it.
@senora76, glad everything went well! @chasingroygbiv, I have my NT scan this week and am petrified. So we can be nervous together. What day is your anatomy scan? My scan is Thursday afternoon.
@savykay Thanks for sharing - I have been looking at youtubes about the injection piece and am a bit freaked out but my husband is pumped up and ready to go. @chasingroygbiv when is your appt? I know that anxiety! I am trying to make my future appts for Mondays so I don't have to go through the whole week freaking out... you are so far ahead of me! I just scheduled my anatomy scan for October 30th LOL @justkeeptrying wishing you patience to try to get through to Thursday. @syssa-o I am sure if the measurement was in the 7s they would have counseled you about it by now. Wishing you calm until your appt on the 26th...
The more I've read about Tay Sachs the more freaked out I am by it. My husband is from Spain and not part of the high risk demographics however they are still testing him and its going to take 3 weeks for the results... I know it would be very rare... but I don't know if we can handle any more hits. I am shocked I have been a mother for 14 years and am only now finding out I am a carrier.
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@kalawa@justkeeptrying@bb3vj3n@senora76 My A/S is tomorrow. I never thought to schedule on Mondays, that's a great idea. I HAVE learned to schedule morning appointments though so I don't have to wait ALL day long! If all is ok we will announce. And that is if everyone can't already tell and just haven't said anything. Ha!
Presuming all goes well, this will be our last pregnancy. It's a boy and I have a slew of girls' clothes and shoes that I've hoarded from my daughters that I would love to give away since we won't need them. But, it makes me nervous to do that. Have you started yet or when do you think you'll start doing things like buying clothes (or giving away clothes you won't need), painting rooms, and doing other very tangible things like that?
@mintea we are struggling with the same thing. Our daughter passed at 8 days and we have joked that we won't buy anything for the twins till they're 9 days old.... I'm sure some wouldn't see the humour.
In in all honesty, I think we will wait until after the second fetal echo at 18-20
@mintea & @syssa-o we lost our son at 3 1/2 months old - I do not want a baby shower this time but I have thought about hosting a "sip and see" (don't laugh I know that is so LA) when our baby is 4 or even 6 mos old... I know that seems a bit overboard, but its where my head is at right now. Once we get far past viability, my husband and I will go to the garage and go through all of Mars things. All I have in the house is a few blankets and the boppy which we called his throne. We moved the week after we lost him so we have his dresser which I made into a changing table, with all his things wrapped tightly with moving wrap.
People have asked me if I'm registering anywhere or if they can start buying clothes... and I tell people thank you but I don't want any gifts until she is 6 mos old. I know this baby deserves to be celebrated... as Mars was, but I just cannot get past my hangups... Maybe I will change my mind but for now, I'd like to be private...
I did however personally buy a little pineapple tutu dress i found on old navy on clearance for $4 and I went for it. We had a little outfit I got for Mars during the pregnancy it was fun to daydream over.
Edited to say - we don't have a room to decorate for the baby which actually makes it easier... also, when we lost Mars I gave away all the clothes he never wore and kept everything he did wear. I also got rid of nearly all of his baby gear - too painful to have. Most were hand me downs anyway as I got rid of 100% of all my older sons old baby clothes and baby gear - plus nothing from their generation was safe anymore!
Edited again to say once we get past this tay sachs scare - I want to buy an owlet.... definitely want one of those this time around ready to go before she is born.
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@senora76 I have never had a baby shower and have some friends who are very eager to host one, but I am super skeptical. We didn't know Leah was sick until she died. I know we will be getting better care now, but I am now of the mindset that anything can happen. We got rid of everything after she passed except for the clothes she wore - which, 8 days, isn't a lot of clothes. I strongly suspect that with th exception of car seats and the bare minimum we won't be buying things till after they're born.
@syssa-o I don't know how far out from losing Leah you are, but how do/did you survive people asking you how the baby is? It's been 6 months since we lost Mars and I still bump into people who haven't seen me since I was pregnant and ask me "how's the little one?" or "where's the baby?" I have major social phobia and sometimes just don't want to leave the house because of it.
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@senora76 Leah passed away last July. It was very tough... I work in a gym and also work shifts in their daycare occasionally, EVERYONE knew I was pregnant, some people met her and then one day I just started coming in without her. Not a single person asked me what happened, although I'm sure some colleagues told a few people to spare me the questions.
just about two months ago, a woman who I know knew I was pregnant was making conversation and said "so how many children do you have?" I didn't feel like it was a time or place for the story so I meekly said one and beat myself up about it later. I don't have a great answer for you because my answers depend on my day and my mood and so many other variables.
So so many people have said to me that they are jealous of my family (since we are expecting twins) and that triggers me. I can't even help it, particularly to people who know very well what happened. I could have 100 babies but my family will never be complete.
So, no advice, just know that the conversation is one that you don't need to have with everyone.
My heart just hurts so much for you two. @senora76@syssa-o I never have the words, but just know I’m rooting for you guys (and well all of us, of course).
@chasingroygbiv 3am and cant sleep here either!!! Can't wait to hear how it goes- wishing you peace ans calm to the extent possible!
@syssa-o thanks for sharing your experience. I would move if my older sons weren't so rooted here...been in this same town since my oldesr started kinder and in the past decade I've crossed paths with so many due to schools, after school care, sports, activities, etc... 2600 kids ar Zanes HS and 1100 kids ar Vance's middle school- that's a lot of mommies I have to defend myself from!!! worse is facebook- 500 "friends" some of which I havent seem in 25 years since high school, some I just havent seen in 2-3 years but we still live in the same city... I wasn't an over poster but I did announce when we shotgunned it, and welcomed Mars... Cover picture is the 5 of us and my profile pic is Mars on my shoulder... I immediately disabled the account when we lost Mars, but then every day id bump into someone who would ask about him... and I had to publicly say something (i guess thats why people make obituaries) I enabled my account, Kept it simple about how wonderful Mars was, that I was taking a break from social media but before I signed off how I wanted you to remember my son... then I deleted the app and havent logged on since... Left my profile out there... Social media has really crippled me here... wish it was never part of my reality because its another layer to life i need to navigate... I'll probably go back at some point but then what? Cant bear to change my family pic of the 5 of us... Even when we welcome our new baby... I can't bear to take that pic down of our family with mars... I'll never have a photo of all of us... like you said- you could have 100 babies and yoour family never complete... I echo your sentiments...
im delirious and should try for more sleep-thinking of u @chasingroygbiv today!
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@senora76 I really feel for you I've never really been an active Facebook user, I have about 40 friends who are all fairly close. Everyone knew and I didn't have to post anything. My husband, who is a wonderful man, took on the pain of telling everyone. I didn't tell a soul because o couldn't say the words out loud.
The worst part for me was how we were handled after, when we got home from the hospital, detectives were waiting to question us and they separated us and questioned us for almost two hours. They questioned me in her room and it was torture. They later apologized when the hospital informed them that it was out of our control. While this was going on, they sent our son out of the house with a friend who had heard immediately and so he was so confused and devastated and they wouldn't let me see him. When they were done we had so many people outside our home and I felt like everyone thought we were criminals. I am totally triggered by sirens, police and ambulance just send me into like a visual re-telling of what happened.
People just kept showing up and I didn't realize it would have been okay for me to say that I wasn't okay. For weeks (until the crowd faded) I told every single person that o was doing well. It was awful. I wish fewer people had known.
What you said said about the family picture struck a chord with me. I do not have a picture of all four of us and I'll be damned if that isn't the first thing I do when these babies are born.
@syssa-o I am so sorry you were treated that way by the police. It is unfortunate that the hospital didn't inform them of the circumstances before they talked to you. And to question you in her room seems almost deliberate, and just horrible for them to do. As much as it won't change what happened, maybe one day, you can write them a letter stating how this all made you feel. And the suffering and triggers you now experience with police etc. Which are supposed to make you feel safe. Maybe it will help validate that those feelings are real, and triggering, and hopefully they don't put another woman through that.
@kalawa luckily, hindsight is 20/20 I understand why they had to question us. God forbid someone did something to harm their baby, I would want them treated like that. Those same detectives came back to see us that afternoon and they made a habit of driving by our house daily to see if we needed anything. It just so happened I was in her room because they closed our room off for taking pictures and they took my SO to our sons room and me to her room because they both had doors they could close.
@syssa-o That is awful! I cannot even imagine being treated that way on top of losing your baby. You’d think they’d wait for preliminary causes before questioning!
@senora76@syssa-o thank you for sharing more of your stories... it's been a crazy week for me so I wasn't on last week at all--MH was gone on a business trip and I was trying to just keep DS alive. Ha. I'm sitting in my kitchen right now crying for you both. I wish I had better words.
@syssa-o@senora76 I am heartbroken to read your words, and really don't know what to say other than I am so very sorry these were your experiences. Praying you both have happy, healthy uneventful pregnancies and healthy LOs that fill you with joy in March.
Re: PGAL Check In (week of Sept. 13)
do what feels right for you in the end... remember too that you are only a few weeks a away from being able to feel your little one moving around in there - which will be able to help you know things are ok. just a little longer.
xo
This group is amazing already. So thankful for everyone's support!
I had another vivid nightmare that I was bleeding and woke up thinking it was real for a minute. It was horrible. Happy I had a good checkup and heard the heartbeat this week
Hope everyone has a nice week
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
All went well - I measured 1.9 which is in the normal range for NT - No sign of a penis - so it appears the NIPT test was right...she was moving the whole time - I measured 12+4 and they officially changed my due date to 3/31 (officially 12+2) which is where I know I am at based on ovulation. One piece of surprising info... Never in the 3 prior pregnancies I've had, have they ever tested me for tay-sachs and it turns out I just found out I am a carrier. Jose may have to be tested too.
I have to start McKenna in a few weeks... Does anyone have experience with this? Last time I did the gross suppositories... but these are weekly shots. Progesterone because I had a prior preterm birth (5 weeks early).
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
Sorry if my face seems new, I participated at the beginning of this pregnancy, but my PGAL anxiety has made it hard for me to want to participate and get too attached to the board. I'm trying to move past it.
2nd BFP 10/10/11, EDD 6/2/12,natural m/c 10/13/11 at 6w5d
3rd BFP 12/25/11, DD born 8/31/12
5th BFP 11/15, DS born 7/24/16
6th BFP 7/14/16, EDD 3/20/18
I'm so, so nervous for my anatomy scan this week. I've just been freaking out to myself for days. I finally slyly mentioned to DH that I was "a little anxious" last night..
@chasingroygbiv I hope your anatomy scan goes terrific! I am feeling anxious and I just got the referral paperwork for it.
@chasingroygbiv, I have my NT scan this week and am petrified. So we can be nervous together. What day is your anatomy scan? My scan is Thursday afternoon.
@chasingroygbiv good luck this week! do you think you might announce after the scan? I know you've been holding back (which I totally understand).
We did NT last week, and I forgot to check the measurements until I was handing the requisition to the girl doing my blood work.
It was messy writing so it was hard to determine whether it was 1.4 & 1.6 or 7.4 & 7.6
if it was 7s that would likely mean heart defects. I did it last Tuesday so I'm hoping if it was that high someone would have called me by now???
Leah died of complex CHD (hypoplastic right heart syndrome paired with about 5 other heart deformities) so I'm really anxious about this heart stuff.
@chasingroygbiv when is your appt? I know that anxiety! I am trying to make my future appts for Mondays so I don't have to go through the whole week freaking out... you are so far ahead of me! I just scheduled my anatomy scan for October 30th LOL
@justkeeptrying wishing you patience to try to get through to Thursday.
@syssa-o I am sure if the measurement was in the 7s they would have counseled you about it by now. Wishing you calm until your appt on the 26th...
The more I've read about Tay Sachs the more freaked out I am by it. My husband is from Spain and not part of the high risk demographics however they are still testing him and its going to take 3 weeks for the results... I know it would be very rare... but I don't know if we can handle any more hits. I am shocked I have been a mother for 14 years and am only now finding out I am a carrier.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@senora76. Glad your nt scan went well. I had one yesterday too. I wasn't expecting it since I had nipt.
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
Presuming all goes well, this will be our last pregnancy. It's a boy and I have a slew of girls' clothes and shoes that I've hoarded from my daughters that I would love to give away since we won't need them. But, it makes me nervous to do that. Have you started yet or when do you think you'll start doing things like buying clothes (or giving away clothes you won't need), painting rooms, and doing other very tangible things like that?
DD #1: 2012; MMC: 2014; DD #2: 2015; It's a boy! 3/31/2018
In in all honesty, I think we will wait until after the second fetal echo at 18-20
People have asked me if I'm registering anywhere or if they can start buying clothes... and I tell people thank you but I don't want any gifts until she is 6 mos old. I know this baby deserves to be celebrated... as Mars was, but I just cannot get past my hangups... Maybe I will change my mind but for now, I'd like to be private...
I did however personally buy a little pineapple tutu dress i found on old navy on clearance for $4 and I went for it. We had a little outfit I got for Mars during the pregnancy it was fun to daydream over.
Edited to say - we don't have a room to decorate for the baby which actually makes it easier... also, when we lost Mars I gave away all the clothes he never wore and kept everything he did wear. I also got rid of nearly all of his baby gear - too painful to have. Most were hand me downs anyway as I got rid of 100% of all my older sons old baby clothes and baby gear - plus nothing from their generation was safe anymore!
Edited again to say once we get past this tay sachs scare - I want to buy an owlet.... definitely want one of those this time around ready to go before she is born.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
just about two months ago, a woman who I know knew I was pregnant was making conversation and said "so how many children do you have?" I didn't feel like it was a time or place for the story so I meekly said one and beat myself up about it later. I don't have a great answer for you because my answers depend on my day and my mood and so many other variables.
So so many people have said to me that they are jealous of my family (since we are expecting twins) and that triggers me. I can't even help it, particularly to people who know very well what happened. I could have 100 babies but my family will never be complete.
So, no advice, just know that the conversation is one that you don't need to have with everyone.
edit- autocorrect
@syssa-o thanks for sharing your experience. I would move if my older sons weren't so rooted here...been in this same town since my oldesr started kinder and in the past decade I've crossed paths with so many due to schools, after school care, sports, activities, etc... 2600 kids ar Zanes HS and 1100 kids ar Vance's middle school- that's a lot of mommies I have to defend myself from!!! worse is facebook- 500 "friends" some of which I havent seem in 25 years since high school, some I just havent seen in 2-3 years but we still live in the same city... I wasn't an over poster but I did announce when we shotgunned it, and welcomed Mars... Cover picture is the 5 of us and my profile pic is Mars on my shoulder... I immediately disabled the account when we lost Mars, but then every day id bump into someone who would ask about him... and I had to publicly say something (i guess thats why people make obituaries) I enabled my account, Kept it simple about how wonderful Mars was, that I was taking a break from social media but before I signed off how I wanted you to remember my son... then I deleted the app and havent logged on since... Left my profile out there... Social media has really crippled me here... wish it was never part of my reality because its another layer to life i need to navigate... I'll probably go back at some point but then what? Cant bear to change my family pic of the 5 of us... Even when we welcome our new baby... I can't bear to take that pic down of our family with mars... I'll never have a photo of all of us... like you said- you could have 100 babies and yoour family never complete... I echo your sentiments...
im delirious and should try for more sleep-thinking of u @chasingroygbiv today!
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
The worst part for me was how we were handled after, when we got home from the hospital, detectives were waiting to question us and they separated us and questioned us for almost two hours. They questioned me in her room and it was torture. They later apologized when the hospital informed them that it was out of our control. While this was going on, they sent our son out of the house with a friend who had heard immediately and so he was so confused and devastated and they wouldn't let me see him. When they were done we had so many people outside our home and I felt like everyone thought we were criminals. I am totally triggered by sirens, police and ambulance just send me into like a visual re-telling of what happened.
People just kept showing up and I didn't realize it would have been okay for me to say that I wasn't okay. For weeks (until the crowd faded) I told every single person that o was doing well. It was awful. I wish fewer people had known.
What you said said about the family picture struck a chord with me. I do not have a picture of all four of us and I'll be damned if that isn't the first thing I do when these babies are born.