LGBT Parenting
mrsmeettherays
member
Let's start again here!
mrsmeettherays
member
Hi all, didn't find any crumbs to the new clubhouse so let's start again here!
Anyone is free to join in and participate! If anyone you know might want to be active, feel free to tag them as well.
Copy and paste the following questions so we can get to know each other better!
Status: (ttc, waiting/benched, pregnant, parent)
What is happening this week?
Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc?
Gtky: What is your favorite TV series?
Anyone is free to join in and participate! If anyone you know might want to be active, feel free to tag them as well.
Copy and paste the following questions so we can get to know each other better!
Status: (ttc, waiting/benched, pregnant, parent)
What is happening this week?
Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc?
Gtky: What is your favorite TV series?
Re: Let's start again here!
What is happening this week? Work work work work work and a few friends birthdays
Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc? Any POC/trans couples/families in here?
Gtky: What is your favorite TV series? The Fosters! Love how every episode is a mini afterschool special.
@Knottie1454171403
This week: working my butt off to pay bills : c
lgbt: Haven't seen many lgbt anything on here yet??? Weiiiird.
Gtky: currently rewatching twd... but galavant and bbt is up there too!!
What is happening this week? Vacationing in Austria and Italy with my wife!
Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc? There don't seem to be many resources for lesbian moms online or in my city, Portland, OR. I'd love to connect with other lesbian moms, but I'm having a hard time finding them!
Gtky: Insecure, The Handmaid's Tale, and Stranger Things.
@ginapdx Austria and Italy sound lovely! We spent part of our honeymoon in Rome and I ran the Florence marathon some years ago. Enjoy!
Benched due to me handling some back pain issues but fingers crossed we're going TTC in Sept or October! Getting my bloodwork done in a few weeks and am excited to start!
What is happening this week?
Currently enjoying a long vacation...went to Colorado with some friends and going to Boston this weekend with my wife and my in-laws. Hopefully visiting two lesbian-owned/cheffed restaurants while there: Myers + Chang, and Sweet Cheeks Q!
Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc?
Curious to know how y'all procured your sperm - Anonymous Sperm bank or known donor? We're going anonymous donor and have a top contender on California Cryo and Fairfax Cryo.
Gtky: What is your favorite TV series?
GAME OF THRONES BABYYYY!!!! I'm a rabid fan and am crushed I'll have to wait another year+ to watch the final season! We're also huge fans of Top Chef, Project Runway, and classics like The Office, Parks & Rec, FRIENDS. Netflix = LIFE!
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
What is happening this week? Trying to work to save up for little one. So exhausted I just want to spend my life in bed. Finally told some friends that I'm KU and they were excited for us. No obnoxious gender-enforcing jokes were made. yay!
Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc? My problem is that I'm genderqueer and pansexual, but on the surface my partner and I are often mistaken as a "strait" couple. People just assume, you know? So I'm feeling really insecure about how undeniably fem I'm gonna look pregnant.
I joined the birth month club message boards and they are currently having this big debate about weather showers should be co-ed or women only, and I'm on the sidelines like...well if it's "women only" then I guess I don't get to go to my own shower! Not to mention there are more than two genders and why do things have to be so limited? I kinda feel like ranting at them but it's nice to have people I can ask questions with. Just feeling closeted, left out, vulnerable. So, I'm glad I found you all.
Gtky: What is your favorite TV series? Cubs games! ok, ok: Twin Peaks. Man in the High Castle. Mr. Robot. I don't actually watch a whole lot of tv.
Good luck to everyone with your quest for kids!
ginapdx my spouse is from the Italian Alps close to Austria. I hope you have a wonderful trip. That area is magically beautiful!
https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/best-lgbt-blogs#1
Hope there's something helpful for each of us.
Glad you found us! We were just at the Philly Trans Health Conference and wondered if I should have posted that we would be there in here. There was definitely a gap in people looking to make babies and folks who were there with their trans kids.
@lazyornghousecat we used Fairfax for 2 rounds. Not to sound terrible but they had a sale! Unfortunately trying to find a black donor on these sites is very hard and the 1 we chose ended up having just passable motility (35%). Very very hesitant to use a known donor. Wondering if there's some place we're overlooking. We're planning to try again in December.
Hi! My wife and I have an IVF date set for Sept. 26th. I am carrying- I also carried our first
What is happening this week? This week I have an ultrasound to see if my uterine lining looks good....fun.
Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc?
My short vent is that our insurance doesn't cover this time around and we had to pay it all up front. It is making me stressed financially while we are trying for our second...not a time I want to feel any more stress! Right?! And if it doesn't take we are going to have to fork out the money again. It makes me feel sick thinking about it!
Gtky: What is your favorite TV series? Currently it's The Fosters. I mean come on.. Lena and Stef. I just want them to be real life so I can swoon some more. Arrested Development or Parks and Rec may have a tie for favorite overall shows though.
So happy to have a little community on the Bump. Can't wait to get to know you all.
Here's a truth time topic. My wife and I have had multiple conversations over the past year or two about preparing to start our family. We went for the initial consult with the doctor for IUI in March/April. We decided to wait until the Fall to do bloodwork, and so here we are in September and I'm getting all the genetic blood work and stuff done tomorrow. The other night I mused out loud to her that if all this goes as planned and we get the okay, we could potentially start TTC next month! And she replies with how she's scared and is saying she doesn't know if she's ready for it right at this moment. Really she said she doesn't know what she wants to do at the moment.
We've had these conversations, and talked about the financial stressors associated, the fact that our lives will generally change, etc. At her okay, we said we'd go through with the bloodwork, select a donor, and do al the other doctor stuff.
My wife is a very type-A person, needs things laid out clear...and this is just never going to be. It's not even the TTC and pregnancy but now she's talking about fear of what if something's wrong with the child, and how our lives are going to be different, and how she will feel pressured to financially support (she makes more than I do), and doesn't want us to be torn apart and resent each other if things get stressful. I told her I of course have all these fears too, I just happen to be more of an optimist and she's more of a realist.
Our BFFs are another lesbian couple who are also on their journey to conceive. I think my wife was counting on them getting pregnant first so she could be a close observer of how it would all go. Unfortunately, their journey is taking longer than expected.
I am giving her space to consider all this and talk when she is ready. I'm sad though. Sad that she may want to wait longer and I don't want to. So until then, I'm waiting...We talked about this last year and said we'd wait until this year...then in the beginning of this year we said we'd wait until Fall. I'm scared that we will keep postponing and then it will never happen. Or it'll be harder because I'll be older. I feel like a jerk for talking to the interwebz instead of her, but I am trying not to crowd her with this and overwhelm her. I may have just spooked her with my comment being completely out of nowhere...but I need some reassurance that all hope isn't lost yet.
How was the decision process for any of you? Was one partner more apprehensive than the other? Were there struggles with thoughts of the future? What compromises did you have to make on this journey?
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
I also understand it from another angle, I'm going to be 38 next month and feeling some pressure to make it happen if we're using my eggs. He's 33 so more time but also the added emotional effort of having to go off T to retrieve. All of the couples "like us" that we know had kids either pre-transition or the cis-wife had them when they were mad young and now they have grandchildren already! So now we have kept most of the baby-making news to our smaller circle.
Cheers to money wishes coming true and healthy babes whenever they get here!
I am also afraid of resentment. It's a real possibility with any couple, but of course kinds provide more things to disagree on. I've just been practicing communicating gently even when I'm mad, owning my feelings, feeling compassion when spouse is not at its best. We're planning to take some parenting classes with our doula that go a little deeper than some of the basic ones at the hospitals. What else can you do? I think it might help to have a communication plan for dealing with feelings of frustration and resentment.
I don't want to scare anyone, so trigger warning: I'm 40 and will be 41 when I give birth. We've had two miscarriages. It gets harder and scarier to conceive, give birth, and keep up with kids when we're older. It's more likely there will be complications BUT medicine can help with all of that! For example we're doing genetic testing so we'll know the situation and can prepare as much as possible. End TW.
I can be a bit over-the-top when I am excited or nervous about something....and for this I am both! I have given her the space she needs on this for the past few months, and am just antsy to get started. I know it only gets tougher as one gets older. When we came back from the doctor, she suggested starting in January. I said I was thinking November, so suggested we compromise on December. We'll see where that gets me. Hopefully knocked up sometime next year!
While I know it's not fair to push her on something she's not ready for, it's not fair to me either to keep waiting with no start date in sight. I know a month isn't a long time to wait in the grand scheme of things. I am just eager to try, figuring it won't take the first few times so the sooner we start, the sooner we can work toward being pregnant!
I'm grateful I can share my concerns and frustrations here with you all, so thanks again for listening and sharing in response. Wishing lots of luck and good baby-making fortune to both of you, and to anyone else reading this exchange!
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
Status: Parent of 3 kiddos (2, 4, 6 yrs) from a previous relationship, waiting on TTC. We are planning a wedding (April of next year) and will start TTC then. Basically I'm getting impatient.
What is happening this week?: work work work! Keeping busy with that and the regular craziness of three young kiddos. We also adopted a third dog this past weekend, so we have been adjusting to that. Yeah, we're crazy.
Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc? Sooo...can anyone talk to me about the pros/cons of using a known donor vs unknown? My research says it's basically an issue of legal agreement to terminate the donor's rights to the child. I don't foresee this as an issue. We are planning to use SO's brother so that the baby shares genes. Any commentary on the topic would be helpful.
Gtky: What is your favorite TV series? Game of Thrones, hands down. I can't wait until the next season!
Welcome! Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! My wife and I have only ever seriously considered using an unknown donor. Her brother said he felt strange about sperm donation, which I respect. I personally did too. I like the idea of a clean slate and a sperm donor we do not know. Although it is much more expensive, it's preferable for us. We also opted to use an unknown donor in case she wanted to carry one day - then we could use the same sperm either way and our kids could be 1/2 siblings genetically.
Best of luck with your journey! I'm a GoT fanatic too! I wish Robert Baratheon was a viable sperm donor...his swimmers seemed to be VERY successful!
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
What is happening this week? I am CD 10 and will start LH testing tomorrow. FX that we have IUI #3 this week!
Any lgbt questions, advice, problems, etc? @knottie39991e317437adca -- We had considered using a known donor, but when we were having this discussion a few years ago, in our state even if he signed over his rights if I ever went on state aid, the state could go after him for child support. Now, this was prior to Obergefell v. Hodges so my wife and I are now legally married and can pursue 2nd parent adoption so this may be a non-issue. However, we have purchased donor sperm so we are set there. TL;DR make sure you speak with an attorney who knows the ins and outs and all of the weird legal intricacies that go along with making a baby.
Gtky: What is your favorite TV series? Oh lawd -- I love SVU, Bull, Hawaii 5-O, Big Brother, Riverdale... such a sucker for mediocre TV.
Married: May 2013
TTC #1 Since: June 2013
IUI 1-6: BFN
IUI 7: TWW
Also - welcome @luckypandas ! FX that #3 is a go this week!
My wife and I tcc'd for almost 2 years before a 4 attempt IUI with clomid worked, we used meds due to my PCOS. We tried with 2 different known donors, before deciding on a unknown donor through Seattle Sperm Bank.
What is happening this week: we are between or every two weeks OB appointments so not much. I did get my TDap yesterday.
Any LGBT question, advice, problems, etc: I am so excited to see action on this board. I have only been lurking on my birth month board after having some of the same feelings most of you have had with the IUI and TTC boards.
GTKY: what is your favorite tv series? we just caught up on The Good Place, that was a good twist.
I hope the medical establishment has been treating you and your partner well.
Feeling great. I have complete placenta pervia. So we have had many additional appointments and double the ultrasounds, which has really help alleviate any stress or worry as we see our doctor and the little guy a lot.
Status: (ttc, waiting/benched, pregnant, parent)
What is happening this week?:
How have y'all monitored and tracked fertility when TTC?:
GTKY: Last one or two movies you saw in a theater and your impressions:
_________________________
Status: (ttc, waiting/benched, pregnant, parent)
Tracking tracking tracking!
What is happening this week?:
We're coming off a major fundraiser for the nonprofit I work for, going away next week, helping with two big conferences in the next month....so ya know...just a nice easy life!
How have y'all monitored and tracked fertility when TTC?:
I've been using the Clue app to track for more than a year. After last month's appt with the RE, I started tracking via ovulation predictor kit starting from CD 10. When the test showed I was in peak fertility, I called the RE. 6 days later, I got bloodwork to test my progesterone levels.
GTKY: Last one or two movies you saw in a theater and your impressions:
We saw "IT" - which I loved! I am not innately terrified of clowns, and I didn't feel creeped out like I do with those Paranormal Activity movies, but I thought this version of Pennywise was very menacing! I liked how the movie went deeper into each kid's backstory to get at what they're each afraid of. I look forward to the sequel! I also enjoy the original mini-series with Tim Curry as Pennywise, but he was more of a Dr. Frankenfurter/campy clown than this new one.
We also saw "Mother!" I know this was a love it or hate it kind of movie, but I definitely loved it. I read some of the reviews beforehand to get to know the plot, because I didn't have any idea what it'd be about. I am not usually a fan of spoilers but I am glad I read them for this. There was a lot of symbolism from different themes that I really enjoyed. I read further reviews after I saw the movie, and it made me like the movie even more, and want to see it again!
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
Status: waiiiiiting. my partner & I have our consultation appointment in a few weeks, and we've literally got a countdown timer going. 19 days!! My partner will be carrying & we've (we think) picked out a donor.
What is happening this week?: We're still doing a little bit of research about which clinic in town we want to go to, so I've got some emailing and calling around. If we stick with the place we've got the appointment, we have to get the paperwork in this week.
How have y'all monitored and tracked fertility when TTC?: Not super applicable for us yet. My girl has been considering starting to track her ovulation before our appointment, but she's got PCOS and even on BC her cycles are really irregular, so we're not sure there's much of a point.
GTKY: Last one or two movies you saw in a theater and your impressions: Ohhhh lord, I dunno. I think the last movie I saw in theatres was the new lego movie back in february. I did like it! I liked it a lot!
Status: (ttc, waiting/benched, pregnant, parent)
31+4 weeks pregnant with a boy.
What is happening this week?:
Last weekend I had a work baby shower. It was very laid back which I as glad for. Being in middle management I was worried people would feel obligated to come, but it turned out that the people I really cared for and like were the ones that came and the worry was for not.
This week we have our 32 week OB check up on Tuesday and our family shower on Saturday. I can't wait for this last shower than we can really get things organized and figure out what else is needed for our little mans arrival.
How have y'all monitored and tracked fertility when TTC?:
Just for people's reference: we tried temping and OPK sticks for about a 8 months, when we are trying to TTC at home with two different known donors. Come to find out I had a form of PCOCs, although I was regular my body was never dropping mature eggs. Once we were got on oral meds with ultrasound checks we stopped the tempting and the OPKs and just went by the ultrasounds and trigger shots. We got pregnant on our 4 IUI try with donor sperm. Which was just about two years after starting our TTC journey.
GTKY: Last one or two movies you saw in a theater and your impressions:
Oh man I don't even know what the last movie we saw in theaters was...... I think it was Beauty and the Beast. I will say that we are frequent go get movie theatre popcorn and bring it home for movie night from your couch.
I'm 17 week pg and have an appointment coming up Thursday, but it's just to meet with my midwife. No tests or anything exciting.
Re tracking fertility, I did pretty obsessively track my monthly cycle to predict fertile window, but I'm not totally regular. Probably should have done something more, but in the end it worked out.
Most recent movie I saw in the theater was Wonder Woman. I liked that it was anti-war. Also, she's a babe!
Half-heartedly tracking right now. Just happy to take a break from this summer's TTC pressure.
What is happening this week?:
This week we're in the middle of celebrating our anniversary and birthday month.
How have y'all monitored and tracked fertility when TTC?:
I just started to attempt tracking with a BBT thermometer. Then I got sick and overslept. We went out of town and I left it home. So...sorta not really. We were tracking via ultrasound and trigger shot for the prior 2 tries so just figuring out what to do in the "down time".
GTKY: Last one or two movies you saw in a theater and your impressions:
I actually can't remember the last movie I saw in the theater. Something like 2 years ago. Maybe Jason Bourne? I like a good action film - not too much gore and can't do scary movies at all. Like not even the previews.
Q for those of you who have begun TTC: Did your doctor offer you (or your partner) medication to aid right away? And did they offer the HSG (x ray of your Fallopian tubes and uterus) right away?
My RE said those are more intensive, second steps if pregnancy doesn’t occur first. She seems to take a more conservative approach. But we have two queer couples in our friend group who, one chose to do the HSG test right away, and the other was offered clomid and the HSG test if they wanted to. Different doctors for all of us.
I am struggling and may bring up to my doctor. I don’t love the idea of more tests and extra meds in reality, but sperm is expensive and I don’t want to waste so much money only to later find that there are issues we could have dealt with/avoided earlier on.
Thoughts?
My wife and I have conceived a babe with my body and frozen donor sperm through IUI, with medication support (clomid, ovidrel, and injections of progesterone)
IUI #1, #2, and #3: Dec 2017, Jan 2018, and Feb 2018 - all BFN
HSG Test: April 2018 - all clear!
IUI #4: April 15/16, 2018 - BFP!! EDD: Jan 7, 2019
Status: (ttc, waiting/benched, pregnant, parent)
Pregnant, getting close to the 20w mark.
What is happening this week?:
I had the anatomy scan Wednesday, otherwise just trying to get ready to start working on the nursery to-be.
How have y'all monitored and tracked fertility when TTC?:
....honestly I just counted days in my cycle and made an educated guess (My wife's a trans woman and I've got the baby-carrying gear, so we were able to handle that part the common way).
GTKY: Last one or two movies you saw in a theater and your impressions:
Last one I can recall seeing in theaters (though I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting something) was Kubo and the two strings.
I really enjoyed it. It wasn't my favorite story-wise (I did really like it, but it didn't affect me as strongly as Laika studio's other project Paranorman did), but the craftmanship and sheer scale they pulled off for a claymation movie was stunning.
What is happening this week?: My partner and I are trying to declutter, clean and figure out what we actually need for baby.
How have y'all monitored and tracked fertility when TTC?: Yes, with my period tracker app and LH test strips.
GTKY: Last one or two movies you saw in a theater and your impressions: I can't even remember the last time I went to an actual movie. We have an IMAX in town that shows 1hr long Imax movies, we have a season pass and tend to just go to those.