UO Thursday

[Deleted User] · September 2017

So what's your crappy opinion?

new damn opinion unpopular memei GIF

DDRRT1982 · September 2017

My UO is that I think push presents are a wonderful idea. I have never gotten one and hell would probably freeze over before my husband so much as acknowledged anything I have gone through to birth these babies, but I love hearing how other men acknowledge the process with a memorable gift. If that comes in the form of a gift at the end, I think it's wonderful when women get recognized for their contributions toward making families happen.

[Deleted User] · September 2017

*disclaimer that this is directed to no one here specifically, but broadly about the trend in general*

I think the trend of giving girls traditionally boy names is a bad idea. Hear me out. So generally what I've seen/heard is that parents do this because they want their daughter to have a "strong" name. But why does masculine = strong but feminine = not strong? Why can't Samantha be just as strong as James? I don't think I would have a problem with it if they also named their sons traditionally girl names, but I've never met a little boy named Jennifer so I'm guessing no one is doing that. What that means is that it's okay to want to be like a man, but it's not okay to want to be like a woman. Masculinity = strong, good, while Femininity = weak, bad. See what I'm saying here? Or even Masculinity = the norm, something everyone can relate to, while Femininity = strange, not everyone can relate to this.

Name your daughter a girl name. And teach her to be a fierce, strong, feminine, badass!

bb3vj3n · September 2017

@antoto i hear your point and I agree in theory - but i also think there are plenty of male names that are very feminine.

Kelly, Carrie, Leslie, Jamie, Gene, Tracey- all traditionally female but often used for men.

eta - for what its worth ... if we do have a girl. we have chosen a very feminine and beautiful girls name

kalawa · September 2017

@DDRRT1982, my SO likes to tell people that he got me push presents, but each birth fell a few days short of gift giving days in our family (Mother's Day, and my birthday). It's a running joke because this one is due a week after his birthday.

DDRRT1982 · September 2017

kalawa said:

@DDRRT1982, my SO likes to tell people that he got me push presents, but each birth fell a few days short of gift giving days in our family (Mother's Day, and my birthday). It's a running joke because this one is due a week after his birthday.

Well, maybe you'll get something for his birthday...I mean for the birth:)

[Deleted User] · September 2017

bb3vj3n said:

@antoto i hear your point and I agree in theory - but i also think there are plenty of male names that are very feminine.

Kelly, Carrie, Leslie, Jamie, Gene, Tracey- all traditionally female but often used for men.

eta - for what its worth ... if we do have a girl. we have chosen a very feminine and beautiful girls name

Right but a hundred years ago those names wouldn't have sounded feminine at all to people. It only sounds feminine to us today because of the trend of giving boy names to girls. Then when enough girls did that boys stopped using those names as much because it was then seen as feminine, and therefore undesirable. I wouldn't be surprised if in a few more years fewer boys are named James or Blake for this same reason.

ETA - I should add those names you gave are actually traditionally MALE, not female.

bb3vj3n · September 2017

my UO is that i hate the idea of marijuana being sold in stores. I support legalization because I think it's ridiculous to have people going to jail over a small amount of pot - but i can't stand the thought of it being made readily available and sold alongside cigarettes ( which i also doubt support) and alcohol. I've never been a pot smoker and don't buy into all the "benefits". I do believe it had medicinal qualities and should be made available to those in pain or discomfort.... but why encourage youth to become a bunch of pot heads by selling it in stores.

I think the government is just looking at it like another income source and the greed on how much money it will bring in is the real motivator - not the health and safety of the public

kalawa · September 2017

Oh...and my UO is that neighbour's shouldn't build fences, if the fence sits half done for 2 months. Especially when they rent, and we got blamed (because they built the ugly, unfinished side, which usually goes facing the builder's yard on our side) for building it "not up to developers standards". WE didn't build it thank you very much.

[Deleted User] · September 2017

bb3vj3n said:

my UO is that i hate the idea of marijuana being sold in stores. I support legalization because I think it's ridiculous to have people going to jail over a small amount of pot - but i can't stand the thought of it being made readily available and sold alongside cigarettes ( which i also doubt support) and alcohol. I've never been a pot smoker and don't buy into all the "benefits". I do believe it had medicinal qualities and should be made available to those in pain or discomfort.... but why encourage youth to become a bunch of pot heads by selling it in stores.

I think the government is just looking at it like another income source and the greed on how much money it will bring in is the real motivator - not the health and safety of the public

FWIW by selling it in stores it takes money away from violent drug cartels, ensures there's nothing else in the weed, and that tax money in part goes to schools.

ETA - also I've never heard of it being sold in a store like in the alcohol aisle or something - it's only in specific dispensaries right?

HappyMonkey817 · September 2017

My UO is pretty mild today. I don't like spaghetti. It's messy, embarrassing to eat in front of people, and the texture reminds me of a cross between worms and hair.

bb3vj3n · September 2017

antoto said:

bb3vj3n said:

@antoto i hear your point and I agree in theory - but i also think there are plenty of male names that are very feminine.

Kelly, Carrie, Leslie, Jamie, Gene, Tracey- all traditionally female but often used for men.

eta - for what its worth ... if we do have a girl. we have chosen a very feminine and beautiful girls name

Right but a hundred years ago those names wouldn't have sounded feminine at all to people. It only sounds feminine to us today because of the trend of giving boy names to girls. Then when enough girls did that boys stopped using those names as much because it was then seen as feminine, and therefore undesirable. I wouldn't be surprised if in a few more years fewer boys are named James or Blake for this same reason.

ETA - I should add those names you gave are actually traditionally MALE, not female.

good point..

HappyMonkey817 · September 2017

My friend is naming her daughter Elliott. Ugh. I can't cope.

kalawa · September 2017

@bb3vj3n I totally agree that it shouldn't be sold in stores that are so eaaily accessible. I wish they would have it in government mandated stores like the LCBO. Like a...MCBO. Because it being sold in stores does take it away from the larger drug cartels...but who are we kidding, those large drug cartels are focusing on opioids right now, killing people with Fentanyl.

vflux33 · September 2017

@antoto I agree with you. I do know an older male Tracy though--so some people do it the other way around, but it is rare.

My UO is I hate baby showers. Like really hate them. Part of this is leftover IF feelings--you never know if someone struggling to conceive is feeling pressured to attend your baby shower. But mostly I I'm, like, not girly(?) enough to enjoy them. Especially the ladies-only ones without alcohol and the idiotic games that no one would ever try to being to an actual party with adults. I know, I know, they help with the purchasing. I get it. And I know many people get talked into one by relatives. But I'm not down. I was so worried MH's aunt was going to force one on me, but luckily I have the best out ever--none of my or his family or my close friends live anywhere near us. No ones going to travel across the country for a baby shower. So even though this is my first and second and we could reallllly use some stuff, I'm taking a hard pass. I'm gonna get a secret registry or 2 just to keep track of what I want and get free giveaways but no actual shower.

[Deleted User] · September 2017

vflux33 said:

@antoto I agree with you. I do know an older male Tracy though--so some people do it the other way around, but it is rare.

Tracy is actually another example of a male name turned female and abandoned by (most) boys.

https://www.behindthename.com/name/tracy

vflux33 · September 2017

bb3vj3n said:

my UO is that i hate the idea of marijuana being sold in stores. I support legalization because I think it's ridiculous to have people going to jail over a small amount of pot - but i can't stand the thought of it being made readily available and sold alongside cigarettes ( which i also doubt support) and alcohol. I've never been a pot smoker and don't buy into all the "benefits". I do believe it had medicinal qualities and should be made available to those in pain or discomfort.... but why encourage youth to become a bunch of pot heads by selling it in stores.

I think the government is just looking at it like another income source and the greed on how much money it will bring in is the real motivator - not the health and safety of the public

Alcohol is much more dangerous than cannabis... Also @antoto is correct, it will/is not be sold next to other "vices", it will/is be sold strictly in dispensaries. None of the states that legalized included anything about selling it in regular stores. This would not be allowed. It's highly regulated and controlled, which means it won't be laced with other substances that are actually harmful. You may not like cannabis, and that's fine. But it's really nothing to be afraid of.

vflux33 · September 2017

antoto said:

vflux33 said:

@antoto I agree with you. I do know an older male Tracy though--so some people do it the other way around, but it is rare.

Tracy is actually another example of a male name turned female and abandoned by (most) boys.

https://www.behindthename.com/name/tracy

Oh weird, I didn't know that!

gh515 · September 2017

@vflux33 agreed on baby showers... especially if they have games. I HATE shower games.

I mostly dislike showers because I think adults opening gifts in front of people is uncomfortable for both guests and person of honor. The two most recent baby showers I went to were coed, which makes it a little bit more like a normal party, but still had the weird present opening. Made worse now by my inability to drink through it.

I really didn't want a bridal shower either, but an aunt on both sides of our families respectively and very graciously threw small fetes, so I had two. I imagine I will lose this battle with baby showers as well.

vflux33 · September 2017

@gh515 Yeah if I was more geographically desirable I imagine I'd be forced into it, but thankfully I'm not! I didn't have a bridal shower either. I "got out of" that one though through begging (we lived near more relatives then).

bb3vj3n · September 2017

I understand that there are benefits ...i just think there are benefits and cons to everything and just because in some ways out had potential to do some good - doesn't mean it is good or wise.

and yes - technically it is sold in dispenceries. but let's be honest here - if you've ever walked into one.... it's just a storefront and many of them will sell to anyone over 19 (in Canada).

I lived in BC which is basically the pot capital of Canada for 8 years. I don't judge anyone that smokes...i don't think they are bad people... I mean, my H does.... I just don't think making it more accessible to the public and youth is doing anyone any favours.

bb3vj3n · September 2017

vflux33 said:

bb3vj3n said:

my UO is that i hate the idea of marijuana being sold in stores. I support legalization because I think it's ridiculous to have people going to jail over a small amount of pot - but i can't stand the thought of it being made readily available and sold alongside cigarettes ( which i also doubt support) and alcohol. I've never been a pot smoker and don't buy into all the "benefits". I do believe it had medicinal qualities and should be made available to those in pain or discomfort.... but why encourage youth to become a bunch of pot heads by selling it in stores.

I think the government is just looking at it like another income source and the greed on how much money it will bring in is the real motivator - not the health and safety of the public

Alcohol is much more dangerous than cannabis... Also @antoto is correct, it will/is not be sold next to other "vices", it will/is be sold strictly in dispensaries. None of the states that legalized included anything about selling it in regular stores. This would not be allowed. It's highly regulated and controlled, which means it won't be laced with other substances that are actually harmful. You may not like cannabis, and that's fine. But it's really nothing to be afraid of.

I'm not afraid of it.... not at all. I don't think the argument "but alcohol is more dangerous" stands for anything. If something is bad/unhealthy but not AS bad as something else - it shouldn't get an automatic pass because its "better than".

vflux33 · September 2017

@bb3vj3n I didn't realize you were Canadian--sorry--they do have a different system there and I don't know a ton about it. In the US the age is 21 unless it's medical.

As for the access, however, one thing to realize is the people who want it were gonna get it anyway. It being "underground" doesn't make it much less accessible it just makes it unregulated, which is more dangerous IMO than having it be out there in the open because it means there are no safety controls. People are gonna smoke weed either way--there is no way to stop that. I say safer is better. But you're entitled to your opinion.

HappyMonkey817 · September 2017

@vflux33 I don't like baby showers, either. I had one forced on me. I'm not girly and I really dislike being the center of attention, so it wasn't fun for me at all. Luckily, I escaped a bridal shower.

fatstagnation · September 2017

I also did not like baby showers until I went to one that was A. co-ed. and B. the only group activity was that we each painted a onsey with fabric paint. That was fun, and it felt like giving a second little gift. We didn't all sit down and do it at once. We just wandered up to the painting table with an idea and when it was done it was hung with clothes pins on a cord along the wall. If any one opted out, no one would have noticed. And there was plenty of alcohol.

I like the idea of a gathering of friends celebrating the addition of a new friend. And I like the idea of everyone contributing. But public gift opening and awkward games (sometimes with not-too-subtle sexual innuendoes), just no.

I'm so nauseous I can't even come up with my own UO. But it's nice to be distracted by everyone else's.

bb3vj3n · September 2017

@vflux33 - these opinions are unpopular for a reason right? lol...i expect that most people will push back on me. I just personally disagree on this one

Regarding the baby shower....i know my family will want to host one and I'm totally fine with it. I don't want the traditional women's only thing though. I would prefer a celebration that my husband would be included in and we could just have a fun causal day with family and close friends. I am so happy to not be going through 2nd and 3rd trimester in the summer - but the only reason I wish it were a warmer time of year is i would love a shower that doubled as a backyard bbq. low key .... just fun and casual.

I agree it is awkward opening gifts and at my bridal shower I actually asked my mom if we could skip this part and i would open later and thank people privately... but she made a good point in that, many people like to see your reaction when you open their present - and they miss this when you skip it. So we did it... but i would have preferred not to.

vflux33 · September 2017

@bb3vj3n No, "it's safer than" argument is important because it reveals a cultural contradiction regarding how the people who use these substances are treated. It's also not marginally safer--it's a lot safer. No one dies from cannabis poisoning. And it's rarely a contributing factor in violent crimes against innocent sober people the way alcohol is. Fact is, alcohol is socially accepted almost everywhere and it makes people a lot of money despite being a lot more harmful to society on the whole. And cannabis is not getting an automatic pass. It's scrutinized way more than alcohol and in the US it's still illegal at the federal level and included in the Controlled Substances Act in the same category as heroin. Again, I don't know the case in Canada, though I understand it's been "looser" there for many years. And also again, I'm not trying to convince you and you're entitled to your opinion--I only replied again to respond to your last comment.

@HappyMonkey817 Yeah the center of attention bit isn't my thing either. I didn't even really like being a bride TBH (another UO!). They're also just.... SO BORING.

vflux33 · September 2017

@bb3vj3n It's fine to disagree! bygones!

[Deleted User] · September 2017

bb3vj3n said:

@vflux33 - these opinions are unpopular for a reason right? lol...i expect that most people will push back on me. I just personally disagree on this one

Regarding the baby shower....i know my family will want to host one and I'm totally fine with it. I don't want the traditional women's only thing though. I would prefer a celebration that my husband would be included in and we could just have a fun causal day with family and close friends. I am so happy to not be going through 2nd and 3rd trimester in the summer - but the only reason I wish it were a warmer time of year is i would love a shower that doubled as a backyard bbq. low key .... just fun and casual.

I agree it is awkward opening gifts and at my bridal shower I actually asked my mom if we could skip this part and i would open later and thank people privately... but she made a good point in that, many people like to see your reaction when you open their present - and they miss this when you skip it. So we did it... but i would have preferred not to.

I am so awkward when I open gifts in front of people. BUT when I buy a gift for someone else I 10000% want to see them open it and gush over it. I usually spend a lot of time considering what to buy a new mom and it's important for me to watch her acknowledge my efforts. So even though I feel like a giant goober, I suck it up and open the gifts and gush. No matter what.

But yeah not having a shower at all is a great way to avoid that entirely.

babybluu · September 2017

HappyMonkey817 said:

My UO is pretty mild today. I don't like spaghetti. It's messy, embarrassing to eat in front of people, and the texture reminds me of a cross between worms and hair.

......... stop that

I love spaghetti

DDRRT1982 · September 2017

I could get behind legalizing marijuana if revenue from taxes went to education and healthcare. Otherwise, this country is not prepared to have this drug readily available for recreational use.

[Deleted User] · September 2017

DDRRT1982 said:

I could get behind legalizing marijuana if revenue from taxes went to education and healthcare. Otherwise, this country is not prepared to have this drug readily available for recreational use.

If I remember my high school/college days accurately this country already has this drug readily available though.

DDRRT1982 · September 2017

antoto said:

DDRRT1982 said:

I could get behind legalizing marijuana if revenue from taxes went to education and healthcare. Otherwise, this country is not prepared to have this drug readily available for recreational use.

If I remember my high school/college days accurately this country already has this drug readily available though.

Lol, true. Now that I am far away from the those days it doesn't seem as readily available and I don't even know anyone I could ask for some even if I wanted it, which I don't.

[Deleted User] · September 2017

babybluu said:

HappyMonkey817 said:

My UO is pretty mild today. I don't like spaghetti. It's messy, embarrassing to eat in front of people, and the texture reminds me of a cross between worms and hair.

......... stop that I love spaghetti

Going off of this, I think spaghetti should be eaten with chopsticks. Eating it with a fork is ridiculous.

Related: Chop sticks are better utensils 70% of the time.

bettyvonsomethingstein · September 2017

My UO: People who rant about people coming to work sick. Look, dude, I know you don't want to get sick. I get it. I don't want you to get sick either, so I keep myself scarce and try to limit contact in shared spaces. But if you think I have the luxury to stay home, even for one day, let alone the entire month I've been fighting to cold/cough, you're effing nuts. There is no such thing as maternity leave, and every hour I have to take off subtracts from the pitiful six weeks I'll get to stay home with my new LO this time. And for reference, I was still pissing my pants on the reg at six weeks post partum last pregnancy, so let me tell you how thrilled I am at having to come back at that stage this time. Have some compassion and wash your damn hands, because I'm here despite not wanting to be here either. The end.

mdfarmchick · September 2017

I hate when people use a natural disaster to make a statement that is basically an assumption of someone's politics.
Example: I feel so bad for the Caribbean and totally think we should send money just like we did to TX but conservatives/liberals don't want to help people so we can't.

People help people. All different races. All different backgrounds. All different political views. All different religions. Statements like these take away from the disaster to me and make it about something else.

[Deleted User] · September 2017

@bettyvonsomethingstein

But also from the opposing side - I get cranky when parents send their sick kids to school/ my coworkers come to school sick because if they get me super sick I'm going to have to take time off and it will take away from my mat leave...

kiki75 · September 2017

I guess that my UO is that I live in a state that has legalized/decriminalized marijuana and I voted for it. I don't use it (I might after H retires but he has a DOT job and I would feel weird using it when he can't. Plus, the idea of anything messing with his career terrifies him so we won't even have it in our house.) but I don't care that other people do. I'm glad it's decriminalized.

In my city, the shady looking stores have pretty much folded (maybe partially due to poor business practices in general and failure to follow the laws) and now it's mostly the classy dispensaries. I've only been into one store that is owned by someone H knows and it's a pretty nice operation. It's like a craft beer bottle shop but pot. Paraphernalia is out front and accessible (but holy crap, who buys a $500 bong!) and there's a huge chalk board with all of the strains and prices listed. Then you choose a specific purveyor's lane (they have signs with their pictures and names at the beginning of each lane) and then go to the counter to order. You either just tell them what you want or talk to them about what your goals are: to party, to sleep better, or whatever and they help you pick something that matches your goals and budget. They're also religious about checking IDs because there is enforcement and there are stings where they'll send in 19-year-olds and if they sell to them, they get a huge fine and I'm sure if they do it enough times, they get closed down.

In the years since it's been legalized we haven't had a marijuana-related increase in crime (I have seen fake news stories saying the opposite and an idiot coworker who thought that the guy he saw speeding and weaving on the highway was smoking pot...dude, that's not how it works). I see regular people going in and out and I know people who use it to sleep better and it's made a huge difference for them.

jack_bauer · September 2017

As a cannabis card holder, I feel safe being able to go to a legit dispensary for my needs as opposed to having to go find some drug dealer. No, I am not currently using marijuana for my medical needs while pregnant, however I'm beyond thankful that it is an option for me instead of taking other medication for anxiety.

Eta: my own UO is that I don't care about Kim Kardashian having another baby. Why is this news and why does this trashy family have to constantly make headlines? So tired of hearing about them.

bettyvonsomethingstein · September 2017

I'm not a pot fan but don't really care about it one way or the other except, if there are laws, I think they should be followed. That said, I wish my mom would get an RX. I think it would do wonders for her anxiousness.

bettyvonsomethingstein · September 2017

antoto said:

@bettyvonsomethingstein

But also from the opposing side - I get cranky when parents send their sick kids to school/ my coworkers come to school sick because if they get me super sick I'm going to have to take time off and it will take away from my mat leave...

Totally. I think if you're sick and cannot stay home, you need to go out of your way to keep to yourself. I hide in my office all day and don't even touch elevator buttons. I take the stairs and push doors open with my shoulders. I'm a courteous sick person. I just don't appreciate the sick-shaming. Dude, I would so much rather be home with some soup and a blanket, trust me.

And my kids stay home when they are sick, for sure. We follow the daycare sick policies to a T and have alternative childcare plans in place for when it happens.

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