March 2018 Moms

UO Thursday

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Re: UO Thursday

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  • newmomtx06newmomtx06 member
    edited September 2017
    So I've been MIA for a while so I apologize if this has been mentioned but my UO is that I'm not a fan of gender reveal parties. Not even touching on the gender vs sex debate and the necessity of celebrating the sex I just plain do not like being the center of attention or the idea of having to plan a party. I love the idea of finding out the sex outside a dr office with just me and DH but would prefer for that to be a private moment for us and not something where I play host and have to socialize with a bunch of people. I should probably note I am introverted and that likely plays a part in this.
  • @DDRRT1982, I definitely have thought of that. My mom would lose her mind if she found out though. So for now they're being stored in my house. One day I will put them to good use and donate them somewhere. Obviously keeping some extra special ones for myself. But I totally agree. They could be used to help people instead of sitting in my cupboard. 
    Another idea - you could ask at the local NICU. There's often groups that donate hats or blankets to the moms of the babies there. The thought that someone handmade a quilt for their baby makes a beautiful memory. Often the parents are napping on a couch there too. And some of these kids are months early, so they don't have anything yet.

    your mom might not mind as much if it's for sick babies ;)
  • antoto said:


    *disclaimer that this is directed to no one here specifically, but broadly about the trend in general*

    I think the trend of giving girls traditionally boy names is a bad idea.  Hear me out.  So generally what I've seen/heard is that parents do this because they want their daughter to have a "strong" name.  But why does masculine = strong but feminine = not strong?  Why can't Samantha be just as strong as James?  I don't think I would have a problem with it if they also named their sons traditionally girl names, but I've never met a little boy named Jennifer so I'm guessing no one is doing that.  What that means is that it's okay to want to be like a man, but it's not okay to want to be like a woman.  Masculinity = strong, good, while Femininity = weak, bad.  See what I'm saying here? Or even Masculinity = the norm, something everyone can relate to, while Femininity = strange, not everyone can relate to this.

    Name your daughter a girl name.  And teach her to be a fierce, strong, feminine, badass!
    I am 100% on board with teaching my daughter about what it means to be fiercely strong and badass as a woman. However, I'm more inclined to side-eye parents who give their child a wildly made up and unusually spelled name in an effort to make them "stand out" or "unique" among friends or in school. As a teacher, seeing thousands of names for kids throughout the years, it's always been true that the kid is going to be unique and they are going to be masculine/feminine regardless of their name. I fear that the over-analysis of naming in gender terms over generalizes people and their decision-making intentions, and devalues their background and experiences. I think this trend of over generalizing is grossly obvious in our political environment right now, and I think it's unfortunate when it makes its way to something so benign as choosing a name you like for your child. 
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  • @bb3vj3n, funny we all had this discussion about legalization of marijuana yesterday. I was watching "The Morning Show" this morning, and they were talking about how Ontario wants to gets a Marijuana Control Board in effect.
  • @jessilee15, that's another great idea. Thanks! My mom has a hard time letting go of stuff. We went through her house last weekend and I was trying to convince her to get rid of my homework from when I wasn't in grade 3. She's like an organized hoarder. Her house is immaculate. But her attic is full of boxes and boxes of memories and things she's collected. She freaks out when I say I'm getting rid of something. So getting rid of something my grandma made for me would be really hard for her to accept. I have to tread lightly on this topic lol
  • @justkeeptrying my daughter has at least twenty handmade blankets that my mom had been saving up waiting for me to have a baby. "And more on the way!" For when she's bigger  :D so I totally get that too much is too much. I'm hoping my mom doesn't go overboard for this baby and realizes that the two siblings can share the 20 blankets we already have. 
  • @ShawnnaO, I hear ya! Between my mom and my grandma I can't even count how many blankets/quilts DS has. And I know my mom's been buying material for this baby already. Sigh. And then she gets upset because DS wants to use the same blanket every day! Well...too bad! I'm not pulling out a different one every day!!!
  • @justkeeptrying You might actually (eventually ;) ) get a bigger benefit for charity if you were to sell/ auction off the quilts. You can buy a warm blanket for charity for $20. You could probably sell each quilt for an EASY $150. What if you talked to your grandma about starting that now? I think she just really likes making quilts and 1. Can't possibly use them all and 2. I think that giving them away is maybe like a quilter culture thing. Maybe talk to her about your dismay over the hurricanes and wildfires (I know the news is so hurricane focused they're kind of missing it but the west is on fire. Way more than a typical fire season. It's terrible.) and if she responds in the same, suggest raising some money for relief by selling quilts.
        
    Me: 34 DH: 38
    Married: June 2011
    TTC since Feb 2016
    BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 
    BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
    BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
  • So I've been MIA for a while so I apologize if this has been mentioned but my UO is that I'm not a fan of gender reveal parties. Not even touching on the gender vs sex debate and the necessity of celebrating the sex I just plain do not like being the center of attention or the idea of having to plan a party. I love the idea of finding out the sex outside a dr office with just me and DH but would prefer for that to be a private moment for us and not something where I play host and have to socialize with a bunch of people. I should probably note I am introverted and that likely plays a part in this.

    @newmomtx06 I hear you! I'm not against other people's parties or choices, but definitely wouldn't want to have one myself. I hate making a scene period, and I love the idea of quietly celebrating with my DH or immediate family. <3 
  • My OU: I don't care if you're a second time, third time, fourth time, etc if someone wants to throw you a shower, and you enjoy showers, have the shower. If someone doesn't like the idea, they can easily no attend. I like celebrating the mom before a new birth and the coming baby. 

    I understand why some don't think repeat showers should be a thing but when people get SUPER vocal about it, it's obnoxious. (Not that anyone here has. I've seen that in "real life.") What a stupid thing to get so irritated about.

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  • @kiki75, that's an awesome idea!!! Wow! You ladies have given me some really awesome suggestions!!! Thanks so much!!
  • @kalawa I heard that on 680 news this morning on my way into work.  funny timing
  • My day late contribution to UOs

    My mom hosted my baby shower. It was female only (my husband had NO interest in participating and wanted to hang out with his brother). It was not remotely girly, we didn't play any games with sexual overtones, we had real food (Italian catering), served alcohol, and I didn't open any gifts there. I feel super awkward having people watch me open gifts, so we just skipped that part all together.

    I too side eye 2nd, 3rd, etc showers/sprinkles. It just comes across as gift grabby. I also don't get gender reveal parties.


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  • @day38 I LOVE the gender reveal parties BUT I think people need to treat them as just that- a party. An invitation to a gender reveal shouldn't include a registry or an expectation for gifts unless it is also doubling as a shower. 

    I can't stand it when people do both and effort gifts at both... that to me is overkill. 
  • @bb3vj3n we thought about having a gender reveal for this baby and if we did it would be made abundantly clear that we do not expect nor do we need gifts. I would just be throwing a party because I love party food and surprising people (and let's be honest - being a little bit of a brat and making people wait an extra month to find out the sex of the baby) I do agree that I think separate gender reveals/baby showers is too much. If you want both, do them at the same time. Don't throw two separate parties that people feel obligated to bring gifts too. 
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