@Danjoly you basically described my experience with DS's BMB exactly. We're still a very active group on facebook with about 45 of us. We've had our share of drama... but we've shaken lose the dead weight over the past couple years. It helps that current events and politics have been hot lately and those things make people show their real, sometimes hateful, colors. I'm thankful they did so we could clean up shop in our group.
@ladythrice - girl, so much this. A small segment of my BMB with DS made the move to FB almost three years ago now, and over time our original group of 50 was whittled down to about 43. It had been very stable and awesome for a long time...until the election. Then some shit came out from people we had kinda thought were capable of it, but man, it got pretty upsetting. It's behind us now and we're a better group for it.
^yea. I ended up leaving mine after a couple years. I still keep in touch with many of the women and am very close with some still. I just didn't have any more room in my life or on my plate for the unnecessary stuff. It was the best choice for me at the time.
@Kmalls, that is exactly what happened with us. It was cathartic and resulted in us losing a few people. I can only hope that they were at least somewhat enlightened and impacted by the exchange.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014! DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
I wouldn't have been able to hang in a BMB FB group during the last year. I am deeply affected by all the hatred and darkness pushing up from a horrible part of the American soul that I never knew existed. Maybe it's because I grew up in the 90s, where everyone believed a better world was ahead, without racism, violence, etc. But damn, the pus that has been pouring out this last year is terrifying. I try to not have a "bubble" on social media, but I've somewhat given up because I can't reason with pure hatred and lack of humanity. There is no logic to combat "I don't care if people suffer and die, and FYI they aren't people because they have melanin". Fucking what? Bye, I'm out.
Hi guys! I have a Zika question - are there any Austin TX mommies who can advise what the current situation is down there? I am supposed to travel to Austin on Friday for a weekend trip that I've been looking forward to for MONTHS, but now I'm worried about possible exposure to Zika. The CDC info seems vague - looks like cases have only been confirmed in south TX (Brownsville) but there is a higher risk in Austin and Houston due to the climate, etc. CDC says avoid travel to areas where exposure is possible. Am I overthinking it?! I'll ask my midwife for her thoughts but wondered what people down there are doing / saying. Thanks!
Hi guys! I have a Zika question - are there any Austin TX mommies who can advise what the current situation is down there? I am supposed to travel to Austin on Friday for a weekend trip that I've been looking forward to for MONTHS, but now I'm worried about possible exposure to Zika. The CDC info seems vague - looks like cases have only been confirmed in south TX (Brownsville) but there is a higher risk in Austin and Houston due to the climate, etc. CDC says avoid travel to areas where exposure is possible. Am I overthinking it?! I'll ask my midwife for her thoughts but wondered what people down there are doing / saying. Thanks!
I live in Houston and was just in Austin over the weekend. I didn't encounter a single mosquito when I was there (I was even on the lake) and even here in Houston I have just been living my nornal life. It really hasn't been a thing... I will also tell you that I previously worked in the area of Miami that had Zika and those mosquitoes don't travel very far. So unless you just so happen to be really unlucky (assuming there aren't a lot carrying the disease in numerous places) then you really don't have much to worry about. When in doubt just use some deet.
@mountainsmama I'm in Houston with @JJMNO1616 and I've also just been going about my life. I go for a daily walk of about 2 miles and haven't been bitten yet (and that includes time after the storm). I'm honestly surprised that Austin/Houston is considered more of a risk due to climate than Brownsville. The climate in Brownsville and Houston is more similar than Austin and Houston.
Me: 35, Hubbie: 33 Married DH: 2013 DD: Dec 2015 BFP 8/14/17 --> Due 4/27/2018
@maureenmce I don't know why the 7 week mark lasts a month or two either! Let's move that little ticker along. I feel ya.
@ladythrice same experience with our month board turned FB. We started with 315+ over 5 years ago, and are now down to 190 or so, and it's an incredible group of women, with a few quirks here and there. It's taken time, but the weeding definitely has to happen. I don't think the past 5 years with DD1 (or DD2) would have been as smooth and anxiety free without those ladies. The election did some final weeding for is I think though, lol.
@mountainsmama I'm also a Houston resident. I have been bit a handful of times - damn flood waters enabled some breeding I think - so I've just been careful to use a mosquito bracelet and spray. I haven't heard of anyone being infected in ATX though.
Did everyone's husband/ significant other go to the first prenatal appt and ultrasound? My husband doesn't seem to understand why I want him to go. My nurse brain is freaking out that something will be wrong/ no heartbeat...and then the mom to be side of me just wants him there to experience hearing the babies heartbeat for the first time and everything! Tell me I'm not being unreasonable...
@ngolimentoI also had a colic baby. No fun at all and it definitely doesnt tell what kind of parent you are.
My last BMB did a group about 4 months after we had our babies and TB imploded. A lot habe left in that 3 years, but a great majority has stayed. There are about 80 of us now, and I couldn't be more proud to be apart of a group with such amazing big hearted ladies. I love them like my family.
Did everyone's husband/ significant other go to the first prenatal appt and ultrasound? My husband doesn't seem to understand why I want him to go. My nurse brain is freaking out that something will be wrong/ no heartbeat...and then the mom to be side of me just wants him there to experience hearing the babies heartbeat for the first time and everything! Tell me I'm not being unreasonable...
I find it really strange and sad he wouldn't want to go. I don't say that to make you feel bad but wtf? I think both of the reasons you listed are completely valid. How are those not good enough reasons for him to understand why it's important?
@mskennedy16 MH went with me to my U/S, but not the intake appt, as nothing really happens at that appointment that he cares about. *TW* He was a little weird about going to the U/S, but he told me later that it was just because of the worry because the last time we went for an U/S was when we found out about the MC.*/TW*
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013 Started TTC August 2016 BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17 BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17 BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18 BFP: 2/27/20
@mskennedy16 It's not unreasonable at all! My husband went to a lot of appointments with me during my first pregnancy - but I had a lot more ultrasounds, etc since I was seeing a MFM dr. He didn't go with me to my first ultrasound this time because he had to work, and I didn't want to wait any longer (though I do wish he could've been there to see baby "in person" instead of just the pictures). He will be coming to my 20 week anatomy scan though.
@mskennedy16 I don't think you're being unreasonable at all! I personally wanted my husband at the first appt/ultrasound as well especially because I had spotted the week before. But he couldn't get the time off work. Honestly though he didn't sound that enthused to go either. He went to very few appointments with my first two as well mainly due to work. So if your hubby can go without it causing a work issue not sure why he wouldn't. Think he's nervous or just thinks not much is going to be happening at the first appointment? My husband is off my next appt I'm making him go haha. Told him already.
Did everyone's husband/ significant other go to the first prenatal appt and ultrasound? My husband doesn't seem to understand why I want him to go. My nurse brain is freaking out that something will be wrong/ no heartbeat...and then the mom to be side of me just wants him there to experience hearing the babies heartbeat for the first time and everything! Tell me I'm not being unreasonable...
My SO came for the first appointment and sono Yesterday and when we left he swore he was never coming to another appointment again because the whole thing was so stressful to him. I have another one next week bc of a low HR and I'm desperate for him to come just in case it is bad news, I don't want to be alone.
@mskennedy16 - Men can be dumb sometimes. This might be one of those times First pregnancy for MH, he tried to play cool with first US, but was bummed we didn't hear heartbeats (too early). Next one he was more excited about as we figured we would hear HB. Have our 3rd today and he is coming, but we're both off Thursday afternoons, so I tried to schedule for convenience. Share your concerns with H, and that it's important to you that he's there. FX he comes with to see the LO you created together.
@mskennedy16 I have my husband be the baby's videographer when we come to appointments. They only give you photos, and it is so much more amazing to see the baby's heartbeat and move around. My husband also comes because we lost our first pregnancy and I just about had an anxiety attack during the first 3 ultrasounds. At the end of the day you are both the parents, and just because the baby is inside you does not mean that you should have to shoulder these burdens alone. I agree with other ladies that if it causes a financial or job hardship that is a different story. Maybe try to understand why he doesn't want to go, and that will help get you guys get on the same page. I hope the ultrasound is amazing!
Did everyone's husband/ significant other go to the first prenatal appt and ultrasound? My husband doesn't seem to understand why I want him to go. My nurse brain is freaking out that something will be wrong/ no heartbeat...and then the mom to be side of me just wants him there to experience hearing the babies heartbeat for the first time and everything! Tell me I'm not being unreasonable...
My SO came for the first appointment and sono Yesterday and when we left he swore he was never coming to another appointment again because the whole thing was so stressful to him. I have another one next week bc of a low HR and I'm desperate for him to come just in case it is bad news, I don't want to be alone.
I can understand if work is a conflict and or if financial strain is a concern. But not wanting to go to an appointment because it's stressful or because they aren't "enthused" is a bunch of BULL. Cry me a freaking river that it's "stressful"... do men not realize how stressful it is for US?! How do they think child birth is going to be or the next 18+ years of the child's life?! You know, I'm already not super enthused thinking about all the band concerts, or plays, or parent teacher conferences that I'm going to have to go to as a parent but you best believe I'm not doing that sh*t alone!!! Time to put your big boy pants on husbands. Sorry not sorry.
@mskennedy16 has your husband had some past trauma that makes having a family emotionally difficult for him? Maybe something that would make impending fatherhood too overwhelming and scary? If not, I am not going to lie, I'd yell him down to the size of an ant if he did that shit to me.
@mskennedy16 my husband came to the first U/S, but probably won't come to the intake appt (he came to one before *tw- it ended in MC, so I absolutely wanted him there for this U/S but the intake is kind of more like a usual dr. appt... but you may talk about genetic testing, so if he does decide not to go, you may want to at least think about what you want to do or any questions you have *end tw*)
When we got to our ultrasound this time I think he got nervous because after I was on the table in the paper sheet thing waiting for the lady to come in, he goes "I think I have to go to the bathroom" lol... I told him to deal with it, there's no way I was letting him sit on the toilet and get out of it... I don't care if it makes him emotionally uncomfortable... I've been anxious for the past 3 weeks!
@linds0503 do they let you take video? Being in radiology and having worked alongside US techs etc, no one ever allowed that, as well as where I go. Just curious!
@sparklingdiamond I can't remember specifically (I'll take a pic of the sign next time), but I think it has something to do with possible interference with the equipment. And honestly I'm guessing that at least some of it has to do with the fact that they don't want people taking videos and then having friends/family watching the video and playing Armchair Doctor.
ETA a quick google search told me that it could be a legal thing (depending where you live) - it can be illegal to record medical procedures per the American Academy of Obstetricians and Gynecologists guidelines
@psuxray07 and @lund so in my re's clinic the tech and in my obgyn's office they both let us. I know that for my 20 week maternal fetal specialist appointment they sent special instructions that you can't. I think that has more to do with them not providing you with results there and needing to wait to talk to your doctor.
It never hurts to ask, ladies. When I was feeling anxious I would look at the video of my little one's heartbeat and it would make me feel a little better.
Yeah my u/s tech also gave us pictures and 2 videos with DS. I think the videos were from the 20 week scan though, now that I'm thinking about it. Because we have one of his heart pumping.
Thanks @mountainsmama, I am actually headed down to Austin next month for a conference. I didn't know there was any Zika concern there so you had me worried for a second but with @JJMNO1616 and @fishsticks-n-custard's reassurance, I'm feeling better
@mskennedy16 MH is for sure going to at least the first couple u/s! Luckily DH wants to go but also I need him there! *TW* our first u/s with our first pregnancy we were told it was not a viable pregnancy. As a TTC noob, I was still in the mindset that pregnancy was all sunshine and rainbows and I was about to hear a heartbeat. I was not expecting that. I cried and just emotionally shut down. DH was left to ask the logistical questions that my brain just wouldn't process *end TW* so obviously that type of situation is hard on both of you but way easier to get through together. AND if it's a great u/s, then you have that great happy memory together too. Nothing is better than seeing that little wiggly bean and looking over at YH smiling ear to ear I hope YH comes around!
And im totally going to ask if I can take a video at our u/s now! Didn't even think of asking.
To all the ladies offering advice: it's not that he doesn't WANT to go, he just has work and class on Thursdays and he said trying to fit the appointment into that morning would put him very behind on work that day. I just felt like his boss would be understanding but he is concerned about finances (duh!) and I definitely think impending fatherhood is scary to him, even though he's been great about literally EVERYTHING else during the last few weeks we've know. I truely think he doesn't understand the importance of the first ultrasound and how excited and bonded to the baby he will feel when he sees it on the screen for the first time. I guess I've just been so adamant about not giving him a choice of whether or not he goes that it is putting extra stress on him...This was not a planned pregnancy and he doesn't graduate until a week after I'm due. We just have a lot on our plates right now and I think it's all been overwhelming to him (we are also under contract for our first home...stressful!) He has been fantastic about feeding me (when I can actually stand to eat), and taking care of everything at home and having to deal with a hormonal wife is stressful I'm sure. So thanks for the advice and insight!!
@mountainsmama I live in Austin and its fine. The weather is actually great right now. It hasn't rained in over a week and the wind is perfect. I know and understand how you feel though. I had to forego my trip to Aruba a few weeks ago and also unable to volunteer in the flooded and hurricane affected areas during this time. My whole company is going to Houston and surrounding areas next week to volunteer and I have to stay put. Its frustrating.
Just as you would anywhere, stay away from wooded areas or areas with standing water and keep your repellent handy.
@mskennedy16 i am on the other side of this especially if you have other kids that he won't be there. My dh the first pregnancy went to 3 appointments. We needed the money and he needed to save days for the birth and unexpected nicu time. I am hoping the anatomy scan he will come and possibly nt. The others l don't mind going by myself
@allowachick that's different than personally taking video though - but that's cool! I haven't heard of anywhere emailing before!
@peppersmith22 I went to the MFM there and they gave me discs everytime I had an Ultrasound...I totally forgot! They even did 3D US's. I hope I can find them! But that's also different than phone recording. Now I wanna go back and look at them all, lol.
@mskennedy16 my H only went to one appointment the entire pregnancy with DD. It was my intake appointment. He missed all other u/s (NT and anatomy scan). I understood his reasoning behind wanting to work and save his PTO for a paternity leave. Hindsight for me is that was much more important to have him there for the time when you're mentally and physically exhausted and need help at home. To my important appointments (usually just the u/s) I took someone willing to support me (my mom or my sister) if something were wrong.
Ok calling all herbal tea wizards: I know to avoid red raspberry leaf tea during first tri because it can cause uterine contractions but does anyone know about blackberry leaf?
Ok calling all herbal tea wizards: I know to avoid red raspberry leaf tea during first tri because it can cause uterine contractions but does anyone know about blackberry leaf?
Blackberry leaf contains the same chemical as raspberry. Honestly though, unless you are pounding it like a frat boy at a kegger, you can't dose yourself heavily enough to cause a miscarriage. In fact, many midwives recommend pregnant people drinking these teas on purpose to tone the uterus.
I personally keep a rotating stock of different herbal tea, and have about a cup a night. One night it's peach tea, then rooibos, then licorice, then raspberry, etc. I will even occasionally have herbal coffee (which is made of chicory, another "don't drink a lot of this" substance). That way you neither get bored, and you don't have any risk of harming your pregnancy.
Re: Weekly Questions - 9/3
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
Married DH: 2013
DD: Dec 2015
BFP 8/14/17 --> Due 4/27/2018
@ladythrice same experience with our month board turned FB. We started with 315+ over 5 years ago, and are now down to 190 or so, and it's an incredible group of women, with a few quirks here and there. It's taken time, but the weeding definitely has to happen. I don't think the past 5 years with DD1 (or DD2) would have been as smooth and anxiety free without those ladies. The election did some final weeding for is I think though, lol.
My last BMB did a group about 4 months after we had our babies and TB imploded. A lot habe left in that 3 years, but a great majority has stayed. There are about 80 of us now, and I couldn't be more proud to be apart of a group with such amazing big hearted ladies. I love them like my family.
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20
When we got to our ultrasound this time I think he got nervous because after I was on the table in the paper sheet thing waiting for the lady to come in, he goes "I think I have to go to the bathroom" lol... I told him to deal with it, there's no way I was letting him sit on the toilet and get out of it... I don't care if it makes him emotionally uncomfortable... I've been anxious for the past 3 weeks!
Married: 2/1/2012
TTC #1 since August 2016
DH SA Dec 2016: Low count (11.7 mil total motile), 5% morphology, 73% motility
Blood work June 2017: AMH 1.1 (ugh), FSH 8.4, LH: 5.2, estradiol 28 pg/ML, progesterone 7.4
HSG July 2017: tubes clear
BFP 7/24/17 - EDD 4/5/2018
ETA a quick google search told me that it could be a legal thing (depending where you live) - it can be illegal to record medical procedures per the American Academy of Obstetricians and Gynecologists guidelines
Married: 2/1/2012
TTC #1 since August 2016
DH SA Dec 2016: Low count (11.7 mil total motile), 5% morphology, 73% motility
Blood work June 2017: AMH 1.1 (ugh), FSH 8.4, LH: 5.2, estradiol 28 pg/ML, progesterone 7.4
HSG July 2017: tubes clear
BFP 7/24/17 - EDD 4/5/2018
It never hurts to ask, ladies. When I was feeling anxious I would look at the video of my little one's heartbeat and it would make me feel a little better.
@mskennedy16 MH is for sure going to at least the first couple u/s! Luckily DH wants to go but also I need him there! *TW* our first u/s with our first pregnancy we were told it was not a viable pregnancy. As a TTC noob, I was still in the mindset that pregnancy was all sunshine and rainbows and I was about to hear a heartbeat. I was not expecting that. I cried and just emotionally shut down. DH was left to ask the logistical questions that my brain just wouldn't process *end TW* so obviously that type of situation is hard on both of you but way easier to get through together. AND if it's a great u/s, then you have that great happy memory together too. Nothing is better than seeing that little wiggly bean and looking over at YH smiling ear to ear
And im totally going to ask if I can take a video at our u/s now! Didn't even think of asking.
Just as you would anywhere, stay away from wooded areas or areas with standing water and keep your repellent handy.
@peppersmith22 I went to the MFM there and they gave me discs everytime I had an Ultrasound...I totally forgot! They even did 3D US's. I hope I can find them! But that's also different than phone recording. Now I wanna go back and look at them all, lol.
I personally keep a rotating stock of different herbal tea, and have about a cup a night. One night it's peach tea, then rooibos, then licorice, then raspberry, etc. I will even occasionally have herbal coffee (which is made of chicory, another "don't drink a lot of this" substance). That way you neither get bored, and you don't have any risk of harming your pregnancy.