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April 2018 Moms
maureenmce
member
GTKY: What's your ideal family size?
maureenmce
member
Thought this might be interesting and a fun way to get to know each other! Are you one and done? Two and through? Or...some other rhyme that indicates your preference? Or still deciding?
If you want some more formal questions, here ya go:
Do you have any children already? If so, how many? Age(s)?
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
If you want some more formal questions, here ya go:
Do you have any children already? If so, how many? Age(s)?
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
Re: GTKY: What's your ideal family size?
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding? Two was what I originally wanted although I think I would be okay with three. I don't think DH wants that many.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have? I just have one brother and I liked it. But it didn't really impact how many I wanted.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size? I hate that fertility issues affected how many kids we had/how far apart they are. I feel like if things wouldn't have taken so long then maybe we could've had a third. I feel lucky to just be able to have this second one!!
I have one DD who is almost 19 months!
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
In an ideal world we'd have three. In the real world, where I'm almost 37 and exhausted, we still rent in a very high priced housing area, and we're a two (very demanding) career home...we are undecided. I've started to lean toward two, but I'm still very unsure. My husband is basically deferring to me on this, so far, which is nice (but also adds some pressure.)
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
Yes. I only have one sibling and he is not able to be a part of my life because of his debilitating struggles with alcohol. It's very sad and I think that has impacted my desire for three in the hopes that, even if something goes wrong with one of the kiddos, the other two will have each other. But this might just be paranoia. My husband is one of four, which he thinks was a little too crazy, and sees 2 or 3 as a happy medium.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
I'm a super long term planner, so wish I could just magically know the "right" answer for our family and have the next 5 years mapped out in my head, but I think the plan is just to have this kiddo and see how life with two littles goes.
No!
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world?
Still deciding... I would probably say max two, but maybe one and done. It seems like my brother and his gf's life changed very much after they had their 2nd (albeit they are close in age, but her grandmother was able to provide free daycare, which we will not have), and im not sure if I'd be happy and our relationship would be happier adding more into the mix, as well as the finances of it... so I guess I'm focusing on one for now lol
Did my family size impact my decision? Not really... I have a brother, but we're not really close. We kind of had a messed up family dynamic though, so more important to me is our kid (s) feel loved, accepted and able to be themselves
Any other input? Not really... I guess right now I'm just so excited for this one, thinking aboUT more feels a little like jumping the gun!
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding? I always hoped/planned to have three, and am very surprised by my feeling that we have another member of our family we have yet to meet. My DH wanted two and I wanted three so we compromised on 4. Lol. I am very grateful to him for "stretching" on this one for me because it is something that feels very important to me. If he hadn't been able to do that, I honestly think I would have always wished for a 4th.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have? I think it did. I came from a family of three and always thought I wanted three. But obviously it wasn't completely decisive.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size? To be perfectly honest, I feel like part of the reason I want such a large family is bc I gave up my career as a lawyer to SAHM, so I'm going all in on mom life (not saying there's any legitimacy to that emotional logic, but I do think there's truth to it).
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding? In an ideal world, if I had more time, money and a bigger house, I'd like 4, but I think we are going to cap it at 3.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have? Not really.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size? I'm always put off when people are shocked that we might want to have more than two. I get, "But why? You have your boy and your girl." I'm like, "well why not?"
I have one, DS5. This LO will be DH's first, though.
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
If finances weren't an issue and one of us could stay home full-time I would love to have 4. However, we definitely need both incomes in the expensive area we live in. We can't move because we have to stay close to DS's dad (per court order so he can have continued contact). And I'm already 33 and I don't think our finances will change significantly enough before I hit 40 to have even 1 more after this one, let alone 2.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
I just have one sister and we are very close. I didn't feel anything was "missing" so I'm not sure where the desire for a big family comes from.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
If daycare and housing weren't so stinking expensive we would be able to have the family we want. It is unbelievably frustrating to be tethered here where, even with two very good jobs, we can't afford more than one in daycare at a time.
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?. I am not fully decided, but we might just have two.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have? Somewhat. I also seriously considered environmental issues and finances, along with my own personality.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size? Honestly I am a bit jealous of people who have the mental stamina and finances to have a large family. Just two children in daycare will cost more than our mortgage every month, and I don't even have the choice to not work because my workplace provides our insurance (husband's doesn't). I swear the unless you belong to a religious organization that is willing to help, or are rich, 1 to 2 kids is just all you get, wether you want it or not.
@ngolimento Totally feel you on the daycare/financial issues. Like you, we wouldn't have the option to have one of us stay home because my husband has the benefits, but I make more money. We could technically make it on my salary if my husband stayed home, but not vice versa and certainly not with paying for health insurance out of pocket for multiple kids and us. And if we do go for a third we'd probably have to wait until I'm 40 so we could space out the daycare more and at least have our oldest in kindergarten. We will baaaaarely be able to afford 2 in daycare, 3 is out of the question with our current salaries and the city we live in.
I have three children. DD1 is 7, DS is 5 and DD2 is 4.
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
We have always wanted four kids, so this will be it.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
I grew up with three siblings and loved it, so that influenced my choice. DH has seven siblings and originally wanted 5 or 6 kids, but that's too many for me.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
A lot of people think we are crazy for wanting four kids, and their comments get annoying.
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding? In an ideal world, 4.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have? We both come from families with 3 kids. I think an even number would be really nice, and I wanted at least 3, so we compromised on 4.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size? I do wonder how people pay daycare for more than 1 child. My parents didn't have this problem because my grandmother watched us growing up. They really have zero concept of how much daycare costs. I will be going part time after LO is born because literally all of my pay would go to daycare except $100, and that's just not acceptable to me
I have two kids: DS 2 and DD 13 months
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
We have always wanted three kids.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
I grew up with three siblings and DH has two. That definitely impacted our desired family size. We both wanted more than two kids.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
While pregnant with DD I was miserable and swore we were done at two. Flash forward to TTC #3 and I told DH that I'd be open to as many kids as my body could handle if we didn't have to consider finances and careers (eg independently wealthy and we could both stay home with the kids).
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
I have one DD, she is 18mo.
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
I really would like 3, maybe 4. Finances definitely impact that decision though. And since my job is very uncertain, we would need a lot of family support.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
I have one sister and I really wish I had another sibling. My parents wish they had another child. That has definitely impacted my feelings. I feel like with three, there is always a second person to talk to and get opinions from, from a growing up perspective.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
@ngolimento I completely agree with your opinion. Childcare is such an outrageous expense, and you have to balance living situations with school availability. Unless you are swimming in money, you won't be able to live in a decent area with good schooling/daycare. I'm so thankful that the military at least gives me the option for somewhat affordable daycare at the moment. Without it, i wouldn't be able to afford groceries, my car, bills, etc.
EBF, BLW, BW, CD, Waterbirth, Calm Birth, Homebirth, FC, GI Awareness, Informed Choice
DD 5y
DS 3y Generation Intact
Step DD 5y
Step DD 3y
Yes 2, 5 years and almost 3
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
I really thought I'd only want 2 then I was on the fence about 3. Now that I'm pregnant with my third feel like if money wasn't an issue I'd have 4.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
Absolutely. I have an older sister and brother. I can't imagine my life without either! Yes they can drive me crazy but feel like they are my rocks to lean on. Especially as my parents get older I appreciate having my 2 siblings even more.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
I just think it's sad how much money influences things like family size. Of course finances matter but stinks it's such a major influence. Oh and medical costs to have kids holy crap! Why did my vaginal delivery without complications cost $30k before insurance?? Sorry that's another rant lol.
Two: DD1 is 4.5 and DD2 is 2.5.
How many children do you hope to have in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
We struggled for 2 years to get pregnant and IVF brought us our 1st. The "ideal world" for us at that time was one healthy child. We dared to dream a little when we started thinking about a potential 2nd. We went back to see our RE and right before we started meds again we became pregnant on our own. Shocked can hardly describe how we felt. So then our "ideal world" was 2 kids. Now we are pregnant with #3 and this baby is a total surprise. So i guess 3 is our ideal now.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
i don't think so. We had to rethink our family size during that 2 year period we weren't sure we would have any children. I think that had more of an impact on our decisions than anything else.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
I realize I'm going to get questions that are going to severely irritate me. I need to start thinking of witty things to say for pure shock value. Mostly to use on nosey old ladies. I am open to suggestions.
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d99dc" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0" /></a>
Do you have any children already? If so, how many? Age(s)?
Ds 3, dd 1 1/2
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
4 but this will probably be our last... We love to travel and traveling with kids is SO expensive... And pregnancies are really hard on my body. Plus i don't like ttc it's so stressful....
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
I had a very unique situation... I was the middle of 3. We were all 5 years apart. My younger brother is autistic. When i was 13 my older sister went to college and my parents adopted 3 more kids all younger than me but within 5 years of me, so i became the oldest in the house. My parents just adopted another girl who is 7. So i guess I'm the second oldest of 7. I guess it affected me because i want a biggish family.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
nope
edited because autocorrect sucks.
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d99dc" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0" /></a>
1-13 months
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
3-5
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
I definitely think so. I had 2 sisters until I was 16 then my parents decided they didn't want to be empty nesters at 40 so they had two more. So I loved having 2 sisters growing up, but having 4 was even better. Thus my range of 3-5 kids. However dh wants only 2 and is very much set on that.
Baby #1: Aug. 2016
Baby #2: April 1st, 2018
Do you have any children already? If so, how many? Age(s)?
One son turning two next Tuesday.
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
Two and through!
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
Both me and my husband are one of two kids, but I don't think that is influencing our decision to have two. So many other things are more of a factor. Our ages, finances, the fact that we have no family that live in the same state as us. Two is the most we feel we can handle.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
Since we knew we wanted two kids we saved all of DS's baby things. We moved a couple months ago, and moving all the baby stuff made me realize how much I want to get rid of it. I can't wait for the new baby to outgrow stuff, and then we can sell/giveaway all the baby gear/clothes!
Do you have any children already? If so, how many? Age(s)?
Dd5 ds 2
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
4. Don't know why but that's always been my number. We're pretty lucky we have a 5 bedroom house, a 7 passenger vehicle and while daycare is double our mortgage I'm excited that once kindergarten starts I can just throw that money for each kid into a college account. Travel will definitely be more expensive but more exciting as well. I watch my cousin and her 4 teenage boys traveling the country in an RV and it makes me so excited
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
I was one of 3, dh was a lonely only. I knew I wanted more than 2 and most of the moms of 4 that I talked to say the adjustment of 3 to 4 is the easiest one.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
none really. Some people just really need to mtob. My big thing is spacing. I just don't want to overstretched myself with two under two because I truly enjoy the 18mo-3yo stage and I hate the thought of missing that being distracted with newborn fatigue.
I have two sons. 12 and 16 months old. When we first got married we wanted a huge family. After 15 years of infertifity and having our surprise baby we did want to try for one more. I am in my mid 30s and really think this will be our last baby.
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
When we first got married we wanted a huge family. Once we adopted our first life got crazy and the timing for another adoption never worked out. After 15 years of infertifity and having our surprise baby in 2016, we did want to try for one more. I am in my mid 30s and really think this will be our last baby. I was talking to dh about it last night and he didn't seem as inclined to say this is the last baby as I was.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
I have just one brother. I've always wanted a bigger spacing than I had with my brother. Sadly that isn't happening this time around. But 11 years is way longer than I'd hoped.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
my rant is why can't I easily switch from
bold font. Argh it's annoying.
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding? I wouldn't mind having 3 but DH says he is done after 2 which I'm totally fine with.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have? maybe I have 2 older brothers so I think that's why I wanted 3. We are also 3 years and a couple months apart in age of each other which DD and her new sibling will be so I'm excited for that.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size? now I read an article about having your husband have a vasectomy. I told my DH that since he is the one done after 2 then he has to get one cause I don't want to be on BC or get an IUD. Now this article was all about is really fair to ask your husband to do that. Which yes I did agree with some of the points is the article but at the same time the women who wrote it had a c-section so she had her tubes tied right after delivering her baby. Which i dont think you can do that if you give birth vaginally. So I guess I'm just curious if anyone who is having their last is having their DH have a vasectomy or are you the one doing the permenat birth control.
@Dumbgurl04 thats a great question. I was thinking my husband would get a vasectomy but our deductible and out of pocket maximum are high. So i was thinking since I'm going to meet both of those insurance wise after having a baby maybe I should get my tubes tied. But I've had 2 babies vaginally so guess the dr wouldn't do it right away? Also I wonder how invasive it is and what recovery time is. I'd love others thoughts on what they're going to do if they're not planning for my children after this one. But I agree with @lindsye feel like it's my hubby's turn to carry some of the load reproductive health wise!
Do you have any children already? If so, how many? Age(s)? Nope!
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding? I always wanted a big family, but I don't want to make too many predictions before I know what it's like to even have 1
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have? I am one of 4 - two sisters who are way older than me, and a brother who is 13 months younger. I liked having lots of siblings, and I really liked (usually) having a brother so close in age. MH has only 1 brother, who is 5 years younger, so while I don't remember life without my brother, he remembers clearly how calm and quiet life was before his brother was born. For that reason I think I would lean toward a closer spacing, although maybe not quite as close as my mom.
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20
Do you have any children already? If so, how many? Age(s)?
DD, she was 3 in April.
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
2 and through!
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
We are both only children, and we didn't want that for our daughter. Had we not been only children ourselves we might have been OAD.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
I am so tired of people saying "so, she's almost 3. Time for another?" Get out of my uterus!
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
3 kiddos - we hoped #3 would come before now, but this does complete our family!
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
I had one younger brother, and DH was an only child until his Dad remarried when he was 13 and had two younger half-siblings. I would have gladly had more siblings as a child, and he was indifferent.
1 son, he just turned 4.
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
2. When DS was a baby/early toddler, I thought I would like 3, but now that he's already 4, 2 is it.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
Kind of. I only have 1 brother, so I wanted DS to have a sibling to play with.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
Just worried about the financial situation with just 2! Also, DH had already volunteered himself for a vasectomy before we even had kids, lol (not to get one before kids, but after). So I'm gonna bring that up again here soon
Just DD, and she just turned 3.
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
We went back and forth between being OAD or two. In an ideal world we'd have DD and a DS. I would like to be done after this, but I'm not sure about DH.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
Absolutely. I am one of three biological siblings (my mom had 3u3, and none were multiples). I don't remember much about just my family before my parents split when I was 4. My dad and mom both remarried quickly and I inherited 4 stepbrothers from my stepmom and 2 stepbrothers from my stepdad. It was a challenge growing up in a blended family with a crazy custody agreement. Sure, we were never bored, nor was I deprived by any means, but I never want my children to have to share a room and I want to do vacations all over the world. With a big family, that's just a lot of money. I also want to provide a college education for my children without them having to take out loans.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
I loved the big family growing up, but I realized it's not for me! If I didn't have to be pregnant and give birth, I'd take all the newborns. 0-9 months is my favorite age!
Yes, I have 2. 8yo and 1 yo.
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
This will be our last. My husband is set on three and I'm respecting his wishes.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
Not really.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
I'm secretly hoping for twins so I get my way lol. But I'm happy with my babies no matter what.
Nope. This will be our first!
How many children do you hope to have, in an ideal world? Or are you still deciding?
I lean towards two. DH thinks one is enough. I think we'll wait to see how this one goes before we fight it out.
Did your family size growing up impact how many kids you want to have?
I think so. I'm an only, and I feel like I missed out on having a sibling. DH has a sibling, but they're not very close, so he doesn't think it matters.
Any other rants or raves or general chat about family size?
If we do go for two, I'd like to do it pretty close to the first one. We have friends who got pregnant again when their DD was 4, and they said it was really hard to go back to sleeplessness and having a baby be totally dependent on you when they had *just* gotten their lives back to normal(ish).
5/2018 -- DS born 3 days after due date, 8lb 4oz
9/2020 -- missed miscarriage at 9w / DNC
3/2021 -- miscarriage at 8w
7/2021 -- missed miscarriage at 8w / DNC
9/2021 -- IVF cycle #1 (FET 1/25/22)