@senora76, the handheld ultrasound devices (probably not the technical name!) are pretty awesome... I didn't realize they existed before yesterday. It was pretty instant to see the baby with the flickering heart... less likely than dopplers to cause stress for no reason!
I also know when I ovulated and refuse to adopt the due date I was given at my first ultrasound. My second ultrasound matched my dates exactly, but the doctor's office will go with the earlier one.
Is anyone not getting the NT scan or the NIPT? We opted out of everything. Even with me being 34, 9 days short of turning 35 when baby gets here. I have bad anxiety and I didn't want to worry for the rest of the pregnancy. And the outcome wouldn't change anything for us except me having anxiety attacks!
Baby #1: BFP on 10/12/2011, EDD 6/24/2012
Born: 6/16/2012 Boy!
Baby #2: BFP on 11/11/2016, EDD 7/25/2017 - MC 1/2/2017
@eller-2 For the low, low price of $10,000 you can buy a handheld ultrasound! I know, I checked!!! I would LOVE one, but unfortunately at that price tag...no way. My Natural Cycles app gave me 3/31 as the due date automatically...and at the first ultrasound they quoted me the same exact date so I'm sticking with it!!!
@hdaley I turn 41 next month and am doing both for this pregnancy because I need the information at this point in my life. Back when I had my older sons in my 20s, we had the AFP offered and I denied it. With a high false positive rate, I didn't want the anxiety. The anatomy scan can really tell you quite a bit. It is a personal choice - do what you feel is right.
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@hdaley, I nearly opted out of everything last time (and did opt out of some of the screenings the doctors seemed to push). Ultimately I was convinced to do the NIPT because I thought I would prefer to know during my pregnancy if my baby had a condition that made him/her unlikely to be born alive or to live for long after birth (and, to be honest, I was eager to know gender... I think that was part of my decision). Turns out that was a naive reason - if your baby has one of the scarier trisomies, I'm fairly sure you'd see signs of it during the anatomy ultrasound.
Also, what they don't advertise is that the NIPTs have quite a few false positives (a greater percentage the younger the woman is). I believe for a 30-year-old, a positive result is only about 50% likely to be a real positive. Not many women will get a positive, but for those few that do, there are false positives. If my positive result had been a false positive, I would absolutely have skipped the test this time around and in all future pregnancies.
In my case, I wanted to have the test again because I figure after having just one pregnancy that was pretty stressful between months 3-5 and ended sadly, odds are the test will give me some peace of mind (and I would probably be anxious for my whole pregnancy without it, with it who knows). But I do have mixed feelings about many of the prenatal tests and certainly think it's reasonable to pass on them.
@hdaley, we are not doing NIPT. We are doing NT because our last baby we miscarried at 15 weeks due to Gastroschisis (his stomach lining didn't close so his organs were growing out of his body). We wouldn't normally have another ultrasound until 20 weeks, so my OB said she'll send me for the NT so we can check for Gastrochisis. This is the only reason as otherwise where I live we wouldn't be allowed the NT unless we are 35 (and I'm only 29)
@hdaley we are not doing the NT scan or NIPT. We are going to do some second trimester blood work that my doc said will test for many chromosomal abnormalities along with the anatomy scan.
A good friend of mine just got a false positive NIPT... She tested positive for DS and took the CVS and FISH results came back positive for DS, her CVS full report came back with mosaic DS. She went on to get the amnio and the FISH came back 8% mosaic DS but her amnio full report came back 100% typical. Her NT was typical as well. She just had a typical anatomy scan as well. She's 43 FTM but has had several miscarriages - my theory is perhaps one of her prior losses had DS and that DNA could still be in her system...
I had never heard of the NIPT until my pregnancy with Mars and was amazed by the technology... this did not exist just a decade ago... but its not without its flaws...
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@senora76 That is very interesting (thinking maybe the result came from one of her losses). I would've never thought of that! What a whirlwind for your friend.
Yes, nothing like this existed with our first! I honestly can't even remember them mentioning NT scans with him, but they very well could've, my memory isn't great!
Thanks ladies! With everyone seeming to talk about it on the board recently I felt kind of like a loner not getting it done. And our crappy insurance wouldn't pay for any of those tests because I am not AMA
Baby #1: BFP on 10/12/2011, EDD 6/24/2012
Born: 6/16/2012 Boy!
Baby #2: BFP on 11/11/2016, EDD 7/25/2017 - MC 1/2/2017
@hdaley we didn't have any type of screening or genetic testing with our first. Insurance covered the quad screening with my second and third. I'm not doing it this time. I had horrible results with our third baby and we had to wait for the anatomy scan to make sure everything looked alright. I had so much anxiety with that pregnancy. I just don't want to go through that again. We did do the Progenity for this baby. It was covered because I am AMA (38,) and it's more accurate than the quad screen (to my knowledge).
@hdaley with Mars, the beginning of my pregnancy I had a high deductable insurance plan so everything was out of pocket 100% until I paid $3000 regardless of my AMA status meaning MaterniT21 was supposed to be roughly $800 I believe... I called MaterniT21 to negotiate a cash rate and they got me the test for $109. Not sure if something like that is feesible to you, but if you went rogue and asked to go outside of insurance you could get an NIPT. If you don't want one - then this doesn't matter anyway! haha
I'm safe and sound within the confines of my beloved Kaiser HMO now, but I've learned throughout the years, you can get whatever medical care you want if you go rogue (outside of insurance). You can get the procedures they just don't offer them to you if insurance wont cover them. Its all a business... sad that money matters more than health.
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
I hate how we can be triggered by the smallest things.
DS wanted to watch the Ariana Grande Beauty and the Beast video this morning. I bawled my face off. Mainly because I was pregnant when I went to see that movie in theatre and was a pregnant hormonal mess. I miscarried him at 15 weeks. I miss my baby. Even though I'm so thankful to hve my DS and to be pregnant again, I miss my babies.
Any time I feel confident that I'm getting closer to second trimester, I take a step back and remember that I'm one of those "less than 2%" that miscarried in second trimester. And I hate it. I hate that I'm never going to feel "safe" this pregnancy.
Ugh. Sorry. Having an emotional day thinking about my babies.
This has been such a rough week...or 13 weeks essentially. From having a large bleed at 6w, to losing the twin, to another large bleed at 11w, and then another large bleed at 12w2d, I just am constantly on edge. Every time I move I think I'm going to start bleeding again. The baby looked great on the ultrasound, but it doesn't stop the fear. I know the doctor reassured me that dark red, light pink, brown, and even blackish blood are normal until the SCH absorbs or bleeds out, it still doesnt get easier to see blood. I examine it every time...is it dark red or bright red? Is it watery like fresh blood, or muscusy like blood tinged cervical discharge? I'm going to be honest here and say, I truly never understood the fear, questioning, and anxiety that can happen when you have complications and losses. I could feel for them, but never truly understand. But man, now I do...and it sucks. So to all the women having these feelings, my God you are strong women. Reading the positivity on this thread is encouraging as well, so thanks for being uplifting to everyone.
Hugs @kalawa I didn't have an SCH very long this time, but I was terrified having one at the start. Since I NEVER bleed in my pregnancies, but did with my loss I'm constantly checking for blood. Any bit of discharge I run to the bathroom to triple check it's not blood. All day long TP checks. I admire those that go through their pregnancies calmly and can thoroughly enjoy it. I've never NOT worried, even pre-loss, but after experiencing losses I've found now that there is worry in every single day for me. Am I bleeding? Is this cramps? Is my uterus where it should be? I know I need to not do that to myself, but it's easier said than done especially for all of us women I think.
@kalawa, I think until you've been though a loss, you really just can't understand the fear. Obviously people can sympathize. But the empathy of another loss mom is more supportive than anything else. I'm sorry you keep having bleeding. That would be terrifying for me. I can't even imagine how you're feeling right now. I keep telling myself to stop checking for blood. But every time I go to the bathroom, I'm on the look out. It's a horrible feeling.
I remember when we lost our last baby, I had no symptoms of MC. I went to use the washroom and there was just one drop literally one of bright red fresh blood and I will never forget that feeling in the pot of my stomach. my whole body was shaking....for those of you bleeding consistently this pregnancy, I feel for you. it is terrifying.
I remember when I went to the ER they almost sent me home. they were super busy and told me that bleeding can be normal in the first tri and that it was must likely just a scare because it was such a small amount of blood and it had stopped. I had to INSIST they check on everything. They made me wait almost 8 hours to see a doctor who confirmed a MMC. they told me the baby had stopped growing almost 2 weeks earlier. it's been hard to get past that feeling of my body betraying me- carrying around a baby that had died weeks earlier without any indication that anything was wrong.
I can say I'm starting to settle into this pregnancy and not live so fearfully - but you never forget that feeling of panic. it's true that until you've experienced it - you just can't possibly understand that pain.
@bb3vj3n, I totally resonate with your post. I felt such a betrayal from my body. With my first loss, a MMC, I found out at my 12 week appointment that baby didn't develop past 6.5 weeks. I was so angry at my body. I ended up having to take meds to induce things and officially miscarried at 17 weeks. I was so angry that my body didn't recognize this.
It's so different with a MMC too. You have no idea anything is wrong and then your world comes crashing down. It is so unfair.
@justkeeptrying I have a major trigger upon me tonight. AYSO is starting for my 11 year old and I have to walk on that same field I haven't been to since I was enormously pregnant with Mars and full of hope. I'm bracing myself for it. I have a number of mommies who will be there, many may not know what happened and might ask me "hows the baby?" I told my husband I need him to join me on the field tonight...
@kalawa I'm so sorry for the loss of the twin - I didn't realize this. I know how frightening the SCHs are. I had a major one with my last pregnancy... I didn't realize how much you could bleed and still have a viable pregnancy... I had 2 major episodes where it was as if I was bleeding out - along with a flow of blood that moved into a coffee ground like situation until my 3rd trimester. In fact I was just telling my doctor yesterday, this is the longest I've gone through a pregnancy without bleeding... and I'm constantly checking for it. On the other hand I'm terrified of the asymptomatic MMC.
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
I also medically induced and I totally regret it. Firstly - I don't know if you had the same experience, but that medication put me into full on labor contractions and I was taking serious amounts of painkillers. it hurt SO BADLY.
Also tmi and sorry for the gross image - but I had to insert the meds vaginally every 12 hours for 4 days. When you are bleeding and clotting and working your way through a miscarriage ... this just felt so wrong. I had to get the pills as close to my cervix as possible and with all the blood - that was incredibly hard to do. I cried so badly as I had to go it over and over.
I will never put myself through that again. I can't believe they even allow it!
@bb3vj3n, yes!!! I, fortunately, knew I couldn't handle doing it vaginally and told this to my OB. She said I could take it orally but warned me there would be more GI symptoms. But I gladly took that over having to do it vaginally.
*Extra TW*
And yes. I had a similar experience. It felt like labour with full on contractions. At one point it got so bad I thought DH was going to have to take me to the hospital. It was instant relief when my water broke (did NOT expect that to happen either). But then I had to essentially push for the last stages. It was not at all the "cramps and a heavy period" like my OB described it would be. A friend of mine has to go through this twice and she said hers were 5-8 hour labours.
I was "thankful" that my second miscarriage was not a MMC. That was actually my prayer throughout my pregnancy. Obviously I wanted a healthy baby. But if I ended up miscarrying, I wanted to know it was happening and not experience the same pain. I still had contractions and laboured. But it was nothing compared to the first with the inducing medication.
*End TW*
Miscarriage is hard enough. No one should have to go through this. Especially not knowing that's what to expect.
Editing to Add: I'm sorry this was so long and detailed. I cope by talking about my losses. But I'm really sorry if that made anyone else uncomfortable.
I, too, felt like my body betrayed me, not so much with my first loss— I think I felt naive... devastated... 2nd loss I was livid. Just couldn't believe it happened again, definitely felt the betrayal big time.. then the 3rd consecutive I honestly believe I was numb..
@bb3vj3n I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how tough that would be already dealing with the heartache of loss. I had a D&C with my first and with the 2nd two I passed naturally. For me, passing naturally was so much worse than my D&C. Neither pleasant or easy mentally or emotionally, of course.
@justkeeptrying@chasingroygbiv@bb3vj3n thank you all for sharing... I can't keep the bad inside either... my loss was completely different as you all know and although I've had "threatened miscarriages" in all three of my past pregnancies, and a hell of a time falling pregnant, fortunately have not gone through what you all have bravely described. If you can't talk about it here, where can you talk about it?
What a group of warrior mamas we all are
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
yes...I agree. I find it comforting to talk about with you ladies as I wouldn't want to scare any of my friends or loved ones talking about the gory details.
it's sad to hear all of your stories and experiences - but it helps to know we are not alone.
Yes! @senora76@bb3vj3n I definitely have no where else to take this type of conversation to and even though I hate what happened, sometimes it really helps to get it out and to be able to talk with others who truly get it.
@senora76 We are warriors indeed. Your sweet baby was so lucky to have a Mama like you.
Thank you all for sharing your stories. Warrior mamas, I like it.
@kalawa and others who are dealing with/have dealt with bleeding, I really feel for you. This is hard enough without that added scariness.
Work got really busy for me today, and it looks like it will be for about a week, which could be a nice distraction as I wait for the NIPT results. I have been reliving a lot of the scary and sad moments from my last pregnancy for the past few days.
Hope all you warrior mamas have a nice and uneventful holiday weekend... I've been laying low as the last 2 days have wiped me out emotionally... my older sons go to their dad for the weekend and Jose and I are heading to Big Sur to camp... desperate to get away from it all... xoxo
Mama to: Zane William 9/17/03 Vance Xenophon 5/17/06 Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17 Nova Marsela 3/14/18
We are telling my DS and my In-laws tomorrow. I'm really nervous. I keep thinking what if I am telling people and the baby is already dead. So terrible to think about. I have already formulated in my head how I will tell my DS that the baby is in heaven. Thoughts and good vibes are needed. It's so damn hard to be happy and excited.
Baby #1: BFP on 10/12/2011, EDD 6/24/2012
Born: 6/16/2012 Boy!
Baby #2: BFP on 11/11/2016, EDD 7/25/2017 - MC 1/2/2017
I'm sorry you're so nervous, @hdaley. I'm struggling to be happy and excited too... hopefully reaching the second trimester puts us a little bit at ease. I've also been struggling with tone when I tell people - it's such happy news, but I'm afraid to celebrate it at all just yet. I hope others' excitement when you share the news rubs off on you. There are no guarantees, but it is still very exciting.
@hdaley, it is so different sharing this news after a loss. I hope your family is able to celebrate with you. Because as hard as it is, this new baby deserves to be celebrated too! Try to stay positive, as hard as that can be. Hugs!
Re: PGAL Check-In 8/24
I also know when I ovulated and refuse to adopt the due date I was given at my first ultrasound. My second ultrasound matched my dates exactly, but the doctor's office will go with the earlier one.
I'm with you, holding my breath right now...
Baby #1: BFP on 10/12/2011, EDD 6/24/2012 Born: 6/16/2012 Boy!
Baby #2: BFP on 11/11/2016, EDD 7/25/2017 - MC 1/2/2017
@hdaley I turn 41 next month and am doing both for this pregnancy because I need the information at this point in my life. Back when I had my older sons in my 20s, we had the AFP offered and I denied it. With a high false positive rate, I didn't want the anxiety. The anatomy scan can really tell you quite a bit. It is a personal choice - do what you feel is right.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
Also, what they don't advertise is that the NIPTs have quite a few false positives (a greater percentage the younger the woman is). I believe for a 30-year-old, a positive result is only about 50% likely to be a real positive. Not many women will get a positive, but for those few that do, there are false positives. If my positive result had been a false positive, I would absolutely have skipped the test this time around and in all future pregnancies.
In my case, I wanted to have the test again because I figure after having just one pregnancy that was pretty stressful between months 3-5 and ended sadly, odds are the test will give me some peace of mind (and I would probably be anxious for my whole pregnancy without it, with it who knows). But I do have mixed feelings about many of the prenatal tests and certainly think it's reasonable to pass on them.
I had never heard of the NIPT until my pregnancy with Mars and was amazed by the technology... this did not exist just a decade ago... but its not without its flaws...
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
Yes, nothing like this existed with our first! I honestly can't even remember them mentioning NT scans with him, but they very well could've, my memory isn't great!
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
Baby #1: BFP on 10/12/2011, EDD 6/24/2012 Born: 6/16/2012 Boy!
Baby #2: BFP on 11/11/2016, EDD 7/25/2017 - MC 1/2/2017
I'm safe and sound within the confines of my beloved Kaiser HMO now, but I've learned throughout the years, you can get whatever medical care you want if you go rogue (outside of insurance). You can get the procedures they just don't offer them to you if insurance wont cover them. Its all a business... sad that money matters more than health.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
DS wanted to watch the Ariana Grande Beauty and the Beast video this morning. I bawled my face off. Mainly because I was pregnant when I went to see that movie in theatre and was a pregnant hormonal mess. I miscarried him at 15 weeks. I miss my baby. Even though I'm so thankful to hve my DS and to be pregnant again, I miss my babies.
Any time I feel confident that I'm getting closer to second trimester, I take a step back and remember that I'm one of those "less than 2%" that miscarried in second trimester. And I hate it. I hate that I'm never going to feel "safe" this pregnancy.
Ugh. Sorry. Having an emotional day thinking about my babies.
So thankful for this check in group of ladies!
I remember when we lost our last baby, I had no symptoms of MC. I went to use the washroom and there was just one drop literally one of bright red fresh blood and I will never forget that feeling in the pot of my stomach. my whole body was shaking....for those of you bleeding consistently this pregnancy, I feel for you. it is terrifying.
I remember when I went to the ER they almost sent me home. they were super busy and told me that bleeding can be normal in the first tri and that it was must likely just a scare because it was such a small amount of blood and it had stopped. I had to INSIST they check on everything. They made me wait almost 8 hours to see a doctor who confirmed a MMC. they told me the baby had stopped growing almost 2 weeks earlier. it's been hard to get past that feeling of my body betraying me- carrying around a baby that had died weeks earlier without any indication that anything was wrong.
I can say I'm starting to settle into this pregnancy and not live so fearfully - but you never forget that feeling of panic. it's true that until you've experienced it - you just can't possibly understand that pain.
It's so different with a MMC too. You have no idea anything is wrong and then your world comes crashing down. It is so unfair.
@kalawa I'm so sorry for the loss of the twin - I didn't realize this. I know how frightening the SCHs are. I had a major one with my last pregnancy... I didn't realize how much you could bleed and still have a viable pregnancy... I had 2 major episodes where it was as if I was bleeding out - along with a flow of blood that moved into a coffee ground like situation until my 3rd trimester. In fact I was just telling my doctor yesterday, this is the longest I've gone through a pregnancy without bleeding... and I'm constantly checking for it. On the other hand I'm terrified of the asymptomatic MMC.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
I also medically induced and I totally regret it. Firstly - I don't know if you had the same experience, but that medication put me into full on labor contractions and I was taking serious amounts of painkillers. it hurt SO BADLY.
Also tmi and sorry for the gross image - but I had to insert the meds vaginally every 12 hours for 4 days. When you are bleeding and clotting and working your way through a miscarriage ... this just felt so wrong. I had to get the pills as close to my cervix as possible and with all the blood - that was incredibly hard to do. I cried so badly as I had to go it over and over.
I will never put myself through that again. I can't believe they even allow it!
*Extra TW*
And yes. I had a similar experience. It felt like labour with full on contractions. At one point it got so bad I thought DH was going to have to take me to the hospital. It was instant relief when my water broke (did NOT expect that to happen either). But then I had to essentially push for the last stages. It was not at all the "cramps and a heavy period" like my OB described it would be. A friend of mine has to go through this twice and she said hers were 5-8 hour labours.
I was "thankful" that my second miscarriage was not a MMC. That was actually my prayer throughout my pregnancy. Obviously I wanted a healthy baby. But if I ended up miscarrying, I wanted to know it was happening and not experience the same pain. I still had contractions and laboured. But it was nothing compared to the first with the inducing medication.
*End TW*
Miscarriage is hard enough. No one should have to go through this. Especially not knowing that's what to expect.
Editing to Add: I'm sorry this was so long and detailed. I cope by talking about my losses. But I'm really sorry if that made anyone else uncomfortable.
@bb3vj3n I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how tough that would be already dealing with the heartache of loss. I had a D&C with my first and with the 2nd two I passed naturally. For me, passing naturally was so much worse than my D&C. Neither pleasant or easy mentally or emotionally, of course.
What a group of warrior mamas we all are
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
yes...I agree. I find it comforting to talk about with you ladies as I wouldn't want to scare any of my friends or loved ones talking about the gory details.
it's sad to hear all of your stories and experiences - but it helps to know we are not alone.
xoxo
@senora76 We are warriors indeed. Your sweet baby was so lucky to have a Mama like you.
@kalawa and others who are dealing with/have dealt with bleeding, I really feel for you. This is hard enough without that added scariness.
Work got really busy for me today, and it looks like it will be for about a week, which could be a nice distraction as I wait for the NIPT results. I have been reliving a lot of the scary and sad moments from my last pregnancy for the past few days.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
Baby #1: BFP on 10/12/2011, EDD 6/24/2012 Born: 6/16/2012 Boy!
Baby #2: BFP on 11/11/2016, EDD 7/25/2017 - MC 1/2/2017