PGAL Check-In 8/24

becausescience

This is a safe space for those who are pregnant after a loss. General TW for this thread.



How far along are you?


Any appointments coming up?


How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)


GTKY: What's your favorite family tradition?

becausescience

How far along are you?
9w2d

Any appointments coming up?
Had one Tuesday, not very exciting.  Just taking my medical history and getting lots of blood drawn for tests.  Too early for the doppler, so the next appointments cannot come soon enough.  Next is the NT scan 9/15 and next OB appointment is 9/19.

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
I'm ready for the first tri fatigue to be over, especially with school starting again next week.  I feel like I have sooo much to do before Monday and am a bit stressed about it.  I woke up at 2am today and couldn't get back to sleep.  So I made a to-do list and got up to get some things accomplished.  And am now bumping at 5am.

GTKY: What's your favorite family tradition?
My favorite family tradition is Christmas Eve.  We'd have dinner, go to church (we won't do this with our kids though - not religious), and then come home, change into PJs and open presents while snacking on hors d'oeuvres.  I loved this time with just our immediate family and kind of miss it now that I have to share DH and DD with my in-laws.  I'm not sure how we'll do Christmas with my own family yet, but I know I want to keep a similar tradition.

pettycrocker

How far along are you? 11+ 


Any appointments coming up? OB on Monday, need to schedule the NT scan for the upcoming weeks 


How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) Up and down, last week felt very ominous for some reason and I had to constantly fight the urge to call OB and demand an U/S because I had this feeling like I wasn't pregnant anymore, this week my symptoms are strong and it is kind of hard to deny. I ordered ANOTHER home doppler, this is the 3rd freaking one I have purchased because for some reason, they disappear after my kids are born... I'm excited to start checking on LO in there. ETA*** So excited the new doppler showed up! We definitely picked up brief moments of squirmy HB and LOTS of movement in there. That's such a relief. 


GTKY: What's your favorite family tradition? Well I would love to say Xmas eve at my grandmother's house which was a big tradition since we were all little kids, but I had a falling out with her when I was pregnant with DD2 and haven't spoken to her in about 2 years. It's sad because she will never meet her new great grand kids but we don't need that kind of energy in our lives. Since then we are working on new family traditions. Every year we have an easter egg hunt for my kids in a big field across the street from us, that is special for us. 

ishmoney

How far along are you?
9+5

Any appointments coming up?
Saturday! First midwifery appt.

@becausescience guess that's how my appointment will go

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
Tired. Ready to be interested in most foods again...trying to maintain weight so I don't lose anymore.

GTKY: What's your favorite family tradition?
We don't have many traditions in my family except getting together for all of the holidays. But, I'm a big fan of borndays do I'd love to do them up with my children!

That's tough @pettycrocker re: your grandmom.

chasingroygbiv

How far along are you?
14+3

Any appointments coming up?
2 weeks away 

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
I'm ok. I feel a little more anxious lately than I had been and I really have no explanation why. I do know the closer we get to telling the kids the more nervous I become because what if? I don't want to break their little hearts if something happens.... has anyone else not told anyone yet?

I'm still so tired and off/on queasy. I'm nervous to go anywhere out of fear I'll feel fainty. I asked my doctor if he would order labs to check my iron and he said because we just checked it 7 weeks ago we should wait until my next appt and re-evaluate then. I just kind of know that's part of my issue, but... I guess. 

ETA: Favorite tradition somehow didn't copy so I forgot to answer!
We all get new Christmas jammies and wear them a Christmas Eve. We take a picture and compare it to years prior.  

mrs_tuna_08

How far along are you? 
13 + 0

Any appointments coming up?
I have an OB appointment on Tuesday, but I expect it to be pretty tame.  A Doppler check and some blood work I think. 

How is are you doing?
Eh, I should have had a great week. But I had this stupid dream. And it was awful - so vivid. And now I can't shake it.  And despite all the reason to feel good I'm still really edgy. 

On to all the reasons for good- I got my NIPT results back Monday and everything looks great, the lowest level of risk for all three trisomies. Also, it's a GIRL! We are so excited for DD to have a little sister.  
On Tuesday I had a first trimester ultrasound (i.e. a NT scan that they don't code as an NT scan but I still got an extra peek at her anyway). It was so wonderful. She was so wiggly. And I was able to watch the whole scan on a large screen on the wall.  The MFM OB said everything looks as good as we can hope for.  

GTKY: What is your favorite family tradition? 
I think summer vacation is the best. It's so nice to take a week away from life and hit the beach in a touristy town.

senora76

How far along are you? 8+5


Any appointments coming up? 8/29, NIPT 9/5 and I have to call to schedule NT.


How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I'm having a very hard week- my husband and I have sobbed on and off all week over missing our son. Since we got the autopsy results we have been going through the process of getting Mars' post mortem genetic testing. Yesterday we had to meet at the genetics lab and both give blood, talk about his amazing natural birth and all the little details about how healthy and smart he was... and of course the genetics lab has a fair amount of concern about my age (41 next month and what that means for this pregnancy) Its been a heavy week.  I'm constantly worried about miscarriage and birth defects.... I have a doppler but its a POS and hasnt found a heartbeat yet so gives more worry.  i had an amazing one the last time around and I shipped it to another worried mama on the other coast who also had a subchipronic hemmorage because I wanted to pay it forward... now I have this shit doppler and dont know if it would be worth the investment to get a better one now ornif i should just leave it be... and try not to obsess.  My husband told me last night he doesnt know if he can handle any more loss. 

GTKY: What's your favorite family tradition? I've always loved hosting a vegan Thanksgiving. Last year we did not host since Mars was just 8 days old... but we still had a lovely time together at my brothers. I just love an excuse to cook and bake deliciously fattning foods and always love an exuse to get the extended family together- here is a picture from last year- I was the happiest I've ever been im by entire life...we all were...I see my sons faces and it juat kills me thinking about the tragedy to come...but man it was the best Thanksgiving ever.

senora76

@mrs_tuna_08 congrats on the NIPT results and congrats in the GIRL!

kalawa

How far along are you?
12w

Any appointments coming up?
Not until September 13th. It feels like a lifetime!

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
I'm doing okay. Some days I have darker cervical mucous due to old blood from last week...but it freaks me out. I wish I had a fetal doppler. Where do you find them...other than online?


GTKY: What's your favorite family tradition? All of them? I love Thanksgiving and Christmas. We always visit all the family on different days, and eat tons of delicious food!

@senora76, your post brought me to tears. So so sorry your having a difficult time. You have a beautiful family.

becausescience

@pettycrocker Your placenta is probably taking over soon so hopefully your symptoms ease up.  But I totally understand worrying when your symptoms ease up.  Hopefully your doppler will help.

@ishmoney Make sure to ask for a juice after all the blood.  I also had to give a urine sample, so maybe drink some water prior to your appointment.

@chasingroygbiv Usually the second blood panel is further into second tri because that is when your blood volume has increased a lot, so I understand why your doctor wants to wait.  You could try adding iron-rich foods to your diet to see if that helps any.  Last pregnancy I had borderline low iron so I took a low dose "gentle" iron pill.  If you can't add iron to your diet maybe you could try those every other day - though I'd probably only do this if you know your iron was on the lower side from past blood work.

@mrs_tuna_08 Sorry about the dream nightmare.  But I'm so glad your NIPT results came back low risk!

@senora76 I'm so sorry for the loss you and your family have gone through.  That is a beautiful family picture.  I'm so sorry this week has been extra tough. 

senora76

@chasingroygbiv when I was expecting Mars I did not tell my kids until I was nearly 5 months... so when I told them (granted they were 10 and 13 last year) they were really pissed off and hurt that I waited so long to tell them, and they were completely in shock...my 10 year old actually cried.  They made me promise them to never do that again and to tell them the moment I find out if it ever happened again. I tried to explain I didn't want them to suffer a loss they don't need to suffer, but they told me they don't want me to suffer a loss alone... I told them as soon as I saw a faint line on a stick this time...asking them if they could see it too, etc...sure I am nervous and do not want them suffering a loss, but I also have the advantage that they are older, and after being a single mom for a number of years, they really are my very best friends.

justkeeptrying

How far along are you? 9w3d


Any appointments coming up? Had one today! Next one is Sept. 8. 


How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): Feeling very reassured after today's appointment. Saw a beautiful little heartbeat flickering away and baby is measuring right on track. So I'm happy. I've been having mild cramps and back pain the last few days which was freaking me out. So this was much needed reassurance. 


GTKY: What's your favorite family tradition? Probably sending out a Christmas card and letter every year. I think it's becoming a thing of the past with more people just emailing pictures. But I like sending ours by snail mail. We send out like 90 and only get maybe 5 each year. I'm determined to keep the tradition going!

justkeeptrying

@senora76, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard week. I can't imagine how stressful this must be on you and your husband. We are here for whatever support we can give you!

mdfarmchick

How far along are you?
13 weeks tomorrow 

Any appointments coming up?
My next appointment is 31 August

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
I can't decide if I've caught some kind of awful bug or if I'm just so unlucky as to begin throwing up at 12 weeks pregnant. With DS I remember being sick until 17 weeks and being nauseous after week 8, but I don't remember when I first started getting sick.

I'm doing okay right now since we had a good heartbeat at almost ten weeks and I probably won't flip out again until it's almost time for my next appointment. 

GTKY: What's your favorite family tradition?
I guess Christmas is a big deal for us and since we moved countries a month after we got married, we were able to start our own family traditions just for us. Christmas is picking out a live tree Thanksgiving weekend and decorating it ((which is harder now that we live in the desert)). MH and I also do 25 days of Christmas for each other and do a small gift every day of December--like cookie mix so we can make cookies as a family or gingerbread houses, etc. And then Christmas Eve is the candlelight service and then home to read the Christmas story and open one present before bed with new jammies. Then Christmas Day we FaceTime both families and do stockings and take our time opening gifts ((DS got entirely too many gifts from my MIL last year)) and just spend time as a family together. Christmas dinner is steak and seafood ((I grew up near the coast and my family has seafood for every holiday dinner)) and whatever else sounds good. 

mdfarmchick

@becausescience so you live near your family or YH's family? The best decision we ever made was to decide last year that all major holidays would be celebrated at our house. I love my family and will miss some Christmas traditions with them, but having time as our own little family has been amazing.

@pettycrocker that sucks about your grandmother. Maybe you can make your own awesome version of Christmas Eve instead. 

@ishmoney have you lost a lot of weight?? Hopefully you get an appetite back soon! What do you do to celebrate "borndays"?? 

@chasingroygbiv I don't think this first trimester was very kind to you but now that you are solidly in the second I'm hoping things go better! I have no experience because when I had my loss DS didn't understand but I hope you feel comfortable telling your kids soon. My mom had a stillborn baby at 8 months before she got pregnant with me and I still remember being shocked that my parents never talked about my baby sister until I was probably a teenager. And we've probably talked about it more since I've had my miscarriage than ever before. With that as my background, I wish my mom had felt more comfortable talking with us about it. Sending love to you as you do what you feel is right for you.

@mrs_tuna_08 Congratulations on the good test results and on the baby girl! I'm sorry you had such a crap dream. Hopefully you'll feel better after your OB appointment Tuesday. ((Hugs))

@senora76 Sending so many hugs your way. Grief is a process and I think it is so much harder when it is your child. I'm praying so hard for your rainbow baby and for you to have some peace over the next few weeks. You have a beautiful family and I hope you are able to treasure the good times with Mars.

@kalawa September 13th will be here before you know it. I also love all the delicious food--do you have a favorite from the holidays??

@justkeeptrying I want to love your post more than once--woohoo for good ultrasounds and heartbeats. I also love Christmas cards and letters and faithfully send mine out every year. I guess I really don't want that tradition to die!

mrs_tuna_08

@senora76 I think 8+5 may be a bit early to expect to find a heartbeat with a Doppler - even a fabulous one.  My doctor didn't even try to find one at my 10~11 week appointment because he said it was too early to reliably find one and he didn't want me to freak out if he couldn't find it. I have a home Doppler and couldn't find baby regularly until close to 11 weeks.  I think I was maybe 9 + 5 or so before I could find it at all (I started checking at 9).  I saw a YouTube video where a mom finds the baby at a bit over 9 weeks and she demonstrated how even after she found it just the very slightest movement of her hand moves off of it. Baby is still a tiny little bug with a much tinier heart. Try to be patient! (Says the queen of impatience) Big hugs to you!

chasingroygbiv

@mdfarmchick @senora76 Thank you for sharing. It truly is time to tell them, they need to know why I've been rather.. unpleasant the last several weeks, not continue to think I'm just a lazy, lame, cranky Mom for no reason. I've just always wanted to guard their hearts, but I won't be able to do that forever. I'm still so sad over your sweet Mars each time I read, my heart just aches for you. @senora76

@becausescience Thanks for the info! I may need to come back to you if my iron is in fact low to see what you recommend for iron supplements. They are always SO hard on my stomach. My iron was very low with my daughter, I can't remember with my son, I believe it was also low with him, but not as low. 

maureenbioni

How far along are you? 11w5d


Any appointments coming up? Monday is my Nuchal and Friday is a regular monthly appointment.


How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
my fear subsided this week. Mostly because I've felt so crappy. Nausea returned bad and now my stomach gets upset with everything I eat so that's fun. I've been able to find the heartbeat with the doppler more often than not which has kept me hopeful. And I'm napping every second I'm not at work.

We had originally planned on announcing Monday after my nuchal test, but my father in law passed away yesterday. So his services are Tuesday and now I feel very weird announcing the day before a funeral. I feel like maybe we should wait until Friday after my monthly appt? But I was so excited to post it. I was really excited because we have a really cute idea. And the week gets crazy as it goes on because I'm starting my last semester of nursing school so I'm afraid it'll be lost in the shuffle by Friday. I probably sound selfish. But I also kind of don't want my announcement to be muddled in with his death and I really don't want congratulations from family AT a funeral. Is that weird?


GTKY: What's your favorite family tradition?
chrismas. I love watching my niece and nephew open their gifts. And I love being able to surprise my parents. I try to do super personal gifts involving pictures or personal memories so it's always a really special day 

mdfarmchick

@maureenbioni I'm so sorry that your FIL passed away. I personally would wait to post because I would want the events and emotions of the funeral separate from the announcement. I know you have other considerations but that's just me.

chasingroygbiv

Seconding what @mdfarmchick say @maureenbioni . We are telling the kids soon, but won't tell the general public until later. I kind of want to at least wait until first day of school posts pass if I'm going to post online (second week in Sept.)

senora76

Can I just say that as sad as I am that everyone in this group has experienced loss, this is the only board I feel comfortable posting in... I can't thank you all enough for the support. I deleted facebook instagram and babycenter because I can't handle any of that since March - but I truly appreciate this tiny board. 

@kalawa I bled in all of my pregnancies...its scary but it can still lead to a take home baby... since it appears to be my normal, I keep checking for blood and wondering when its going to scare me... I'm sorry you've had a scare... I know it is normal for some...there is a lot going on in there!  I got my good doppler last year from a webiste called fetaldopplers.com i think but this time I got the crappy one from this HSA store. My husband switched employers and had HSA money he was going to lose if he didnt use so they referred us to this HSA store online and they had a doppler...  WAYYY over priced, total poop but if he didnt use the money hed lose it so it was sort of like it was free. I'd recommend the fetal dopplers website instead - they are like $40 and you can use aloe vera gel for the ultrasound gel.

@mrs_tuna_08 thanks for talking me off the ledge with the doppler... those things are such a mixed blessing...  I know its very early...they dont recommend using them til 12 weeks I just have been so unstable and desperate for reassurance...wish I could just have my own damn ultrasound machine at home!

@maureenbioni I am so sorry for your loss. I would wait to share as well...hold that cute announcement idea in your back pocket a little while longer...

ishmoney

@senora76, thank you so much for sharing your family photo with us! Sending hugs and prayers as you mourn the loss of Mars! He was a beauty and I know he brought so much joy 

@becausescience, thank you!! I will do those things on appt day.

@mdfarmchick, not a lot of weight? I know they say 1-5lbs is okay. I lost 6 lbs at one point and I like to excel with my OCD/OCPD self so I was hoping to not lose any but nausea... I'm maintaining though. Haven't lost more! For my birthday next year, I would LOVE some of that steak and seafood (since seafood is my fave and since I'll have my appetite back)! But cake and ice cream is always a must and take the day off work. Before I started taking care of my siblings, I could do a spa day or day trip. I love being pampered/pampering the special birthday person. We should celebrate each other more!

@maureenbioni, I am sorry for your family's loss! Sending prayers up. And waiting sounds like a great idea for all the reasons you mentioned. Do what feels comfortable for your family.

mountain_girl

@pettycrocker I also had ominous feelings this week about not feeling pregnant anymore...I actually somehow convinced the health and counselling centre and work to take me in and check for a heartbeat at 10 weeks! She found it for a second, then lost it, but that was good enough for me! 

@mdfarmchick um can I come celebrate Christmas month with your family?! Sounds amazing 

@senora76 that photo is beautiful...it made me teary, I can't imagine what you have gone through and how you are feeling...thank you for sharing the beautiful memories of your son 

There are more posts I want to respond to, but I'm on my mobile and it's hard to scroll through and remember!! 

How far along : 10 weeks 4 days 
Any appointments : another dating ultrasound on Monday (they did one at 6 weeks 2 days to make sure it wasn't another ectopic, but i need a more recent one for dating)
How are you feeling : After feeling like I lost some symptoms, they came back with avengence...really nauseous, just overall feel like crap...in terms of PGAL brain, I'm ok, anxious for Monday's ultrasound 
Favourite family tradition : All things Christmas...stockings, turkey, pumpkin pie, family time, skiing, I love all of it

mdfarmchick

@mountain_girl come on over!

senora76

Hi ladies - I know I'm the last one due here... but I already look pregnant and cannot fit into my clothes...its a battle every morning to find something to wear to work.  I know its because I just had a baby in November... and I'm sure my age doesn't help either...I gave away 100% of my maternity clothes right after Mars because I was so certain he was my last baby. I have been wearing the same 3 babydoll dresses over and over... and I got an email for 40% off from Old Navy and I bought 2 pairs of maternity pants, and some non maternity things that are flowy I can wear now. I feel nervous because because I'm not even 9 weeks- 9 weeks tomorrow... and I wont get the results back from the NIPT for another 2 1/2 weeks... I'm desperate to have something to wear other than these same 3 dresses.  You guys are all farther along than me... what are you wearing???  Has anyone else picked up a few transitional or maternity pieces?

tristaesco

For my first my doctor was able to Hearn the heart beat from Doppler at 9 weeks. I had a different provider then... for some reason my midwife didn't even try

justkeeptrying

@senora76, I'm living in leggings right now and loose t-shirts. It's crazy hot in the leggings but none of my shorts fit right now. I've gained a lot of weight over the last year with my 2 pregnancies and miscarriages. So none of my clothes fit properly. And both of my losses took place the like week I pulled out my maternity clothes. So I have a bad omen about pulling those out for as long as possible. I'm going to keep rocking these leggings for as long as possible. They're super comfy too!

SoraLk

How far along are you? 9 weeks, 5 days.

Any appointments coming up? On Monday!

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): I was reminded that I MC'd at the end of 10 weeks during my first pregnancy, and so I'm getting anxious. I'm hoping they'll try looking for a heartbeat on Monday.

GTKY: What's your favorite family tradition?
Honestly my favorite family tradition is the German Christmas my parents celebrate. They celebrate on the 24th and would have the children hide in their rooms after the family dinner until Santa rings a bill signaling that he visited. (It's during that time that all the presents would be placed under the tree) Once all gathered around the tree, we'd then take turns opening a present.

senora76

@justkeeptrying oof that is exactly what I am afraid of...

chasingroygbiv

@senora76 I don't fit into any of my tanks anymore so my Mom picked a few maternity tanks up. 

mdfarmchick

@SoraLk that is such a fun tradition. 

@senora76 I have bought a few things in just one size up and also since I still needed to lose baby weight, most of my clothes are non-maternity but sized bigger. I'm a SAHM and I don't know what the weather is like with you, but I'd try for loose cardigans with loose, float tops or loose dresses and I second the suggestion from @justkeeptrying to wear leggings. My belly hasn't wanted to deal with buttons for weeks

senora76

@mdfarmchick thanks - im in Los Angeles - its going to be triple digits the next 5 days

mountain_girl

@senora76 I just had to go out and buy 3 more dresses from superstore...we have had a hot summer and tight pants are not my friend...dresses every day!! But stay away from empire waistlines, talk about drawing attention to your blump!!! 

maureenbioni

@senora76 it's so funny you mention that. I actually went maternity shopping today. I'm 12 weeks and obviously not huge but the little belly I'm getting is really bothering me in the tighter clothes I normally wear. I workout a lot and try to flatter my figure so mostly everything I own now is snug around my waist and makes me super self conscious.

Macys online is having a big buy 1 get 1 50% off maternity sale. I got two pairs of maternity jeans for 50$. That's pretty good for the nice brand stuff. The rest I got in the store, nice long tanks for over leggings for 10$!! And they were buy 3 get 1 free! And cute t shirts too but what I love is they're not obviously maternity clothes so I can wear them now and it's not obvious I'm wearing maternity clothes! The jeans I had tried on and LOVED but needed petite so I ordered them. 

bb3vj3n

How far along are you?
11+2


Any appointments coming up?
I have my NT ultrasound on Monday - very much looking forward to that.  Follow up with my OB is not until Sept 15.

How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

Aside from being my miserable self... I'm doing alright.  I'm starting to feel like this pregnancy will actually stick ... which I worry is a dangerous thought because I'll be so disappointed if it doesn't. I have passed all my milestones as of last Saturday though. 

I am having SERIOUS focus problems. I keep forgetting things or making dumb mistakes. I woke up this morning in a panic at 5am that I had lost my keys. I ended up outside in the dark pulling apart my car to find them.....I finally gave up and went back inside to bed. 3 hours later when I left for work I realized that I had left my drivers door WIDE OPEN all morning between 5 and 8am! I have so many more examples that sound exactly like this one... the past 2-3 weeks everything just seems so foggy.

GTKY: What's your favorite family tradition?

oh too many to say! the vast majority of them surround Christmas though....

justkeeptrying

Is anyone else hating telling people this time around?? We've only told a few people so far but most of their responses suck. Like my MIL tonight whose first statement was "So you've lost two now right?". Almost punched her. I want to cry. 

My sister is the only one who has seemed excited for us. Everyone else is just worried. Which I get. But I want to celebrate this baby, not live in fear!

chasingroygbiv

@justkeeptrying Yep.. so much that we've yet to even tell.. looks like we are telling the kids on Monday for starters... we will see how that goes and take it from there.

justkeeptrying

@chasingroygbiv, it's so frustrating. Seems like the people we "should" tell first are the ones being the least excited. I feel like if we could jump the list and go to the people we should be telling later, we'd be getting some happier responses. I hate it. I just want people to celebrate this baby with us! 

mountain_girl

@justkeeptrying wtf is wrong with people?! I can't believe that's the first thing your MIL would say. Awful. I felt this time that my parents and brother and SIL kind of wished I hadn't told them so soon (I told them right away)...they were like 'oh how far along?, and I said, oh just 4 weeks and they kind of seemed mad that I would tell them...maybe because they didn't love being untold with my last ectopic? Whatever, people are weird. 

justkeeptrying

@mountain_girl, people should be HONOURED that you are telling them so early!! I told my parents and my sister at 5 weeks. No one else really until now with my in laws. Yeah. My MIL says some stupid things. It was "you've lost 2 right?" Followed by "are they following you more closely this time?" And then "What happened last time anyway?" It made me feel like she thinks the losses are my fault!

We are telling our best friends tomorrow. I hope their reaction is a lot better because I need a happy response.  

mdfarmchick

@justkeeptrying first of all your MIL sounds like a real gem.  
Secondly, my parents were so excited when they told them with my pregnancy in May. And devastated when I told them we lost the baby in June. My mom had a stillborn baby the year before she had me and I know for both of them, it brought up a lot of sad memories. So when I told them in July that we were pregnant again, they weren't as excited. I think they were a little worried. But everyone else in my family was still excited even though they all knew about our miscarriage. And the further along I get, the more excited my mom gets. She's actually finally started asking me about my plans and trying to figure out when she can come to visit and help. Your MIL's response is total crap but some of those other responses may be shaped by their own miscarriages that you might not know about?? Just a thought. Hugs.