Alright, I've got one. When I'm feeling tired/lazy/etc (which, let's face it, has basically been since the birth of my third child 15 months ago), I take care of my facial hair situation not by waxing, epilating or even using a Nair product. Nope, I have just been shaving my 'stache with a razor.
I have lighter hair, so I've been getting away with it, I think? Then again my DH is smart enough to know that the best way to ensure a romantic end to the evening is not by pointing out that I have a 5 o'clock shadow.
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My confession is that ai hate it when people say hi to me in the hallway. I'm not good with names, and don't have the best eyesight, so by the time I am close enough to someone to recognize them, it's an awkward experience of calling after them behind thier back. It makes me feel like an antisocial jerk, but it is such a huge relief when people give up on me.
@ngolimento I can empathize, in a way. I am very bad at small talk with people I don't really know - I am an introvert and just don't have the gift. If I know you I am happy to ask about people in your life, etc but I come off as suchabitch to new people. It's been that way since HS so I'm used to it by now but it's still a bummer.
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@ngolimento - I hate that too. My position is such that I *should* know everyone (adults and students) in our building, so I feel like an absolute idiot when I can't pull it out of my head quickly enough.
My FFFC: I am so ticked off that our school district closed school today! Sure, it's going to rain a lot - but we live in HOUSTON and we're used to that. Now next week when we're all flooded and stuck inside our homes, THAT makes sense to cancel school. But now we have an EXTRA day to make up, and my kids are climbing the walls and we haven't even started a weekend with hurricane rains yet. GAH. (But I don't know anyone else around here who agrees with me. Apparently it's great fun to have school cancelled for no reason.) Also, apparently I'm grumpy enough to use lots of caps. Sorry about that.
@Sissy42 I was thinking the same thing?! Why would they close school because of rain? The majority of the storm isn't supposed to hit until much later this evening. Made my drive to work really nice though!
@Sissy42@JJMNO1616@allowachick my mom works for a school district in Sugar Land and she said it's because of the number of families planning to evacuate and leave today. We are staying put, though!
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My confession is that after a failed epidural with my first delivery, then going natural with my second, I'm already freaking out about delivery and how to get through it!
I had to get business casual-ed up today, and nothing fits! I feel so self conscious in clothes that usually make me feel pretty confident. This sucks.
My son has one of those clocks that turns green at the time he's allowed to come out of his room. Which is normally 7:30... I switched it it 7:45 without telling him or dh. Momma's tired.
My confession is that after a failed epidural with my first delivery, then going natural with my second, I'm already freaking out about delivery and how to get through it!
My first they got me wrong and I was numb from the neck down. Couldn't move my arms at all. It also, didn't help much with pain. It was an awful experience. I still went for the epi with my second and it was a 180 difference. I was only numb where I was supposed to be. I was able use my arms and the pain was so dull I finally understood everyone's comments on no pain, just pressure. My problem is that I'm 4'10". The anesthesiologist that placed it with my second commented on how tricky it is to place an epi on a small person. So likely my previous experience was awful because the one who placed it with my first struggled to hit it just right. I was also just so much more tense with my first not knowing what to expect and that probably didn't help things.
My confession is that after a failed epidural with my first delivery, then going natural with my second, I'm already freaking out about delivery and how to get through it!
My first they got me wrong and I was numb from the neck down. Couldn't move my arms at all. It also, didn't help much with pain. It was an awful experience. I still went for the epi with my second and it was a 180 difference. I was only numb where I was supposed to be. I was able use my arms and the pain was so dull I finally understood everyone's comments on no pain, just pressure. My problem is that I'm 4'10". The anesthesiologist that placed it with my second commented on how tricky it is to place an epi on a small person. So likely my previous experience was awful because the one who placed it with my first struggled to hit it just right. I was also just so much more tense with my first not knowing what to expect and that probably didn't help things.
Ouch! Maybe it's short person syndrome! I'm 5'1"! My epi only took on the right and I felt everything on my left but I couldn't move for natural relief.
My confession is that after a failed epidural with my first delivery, then goingnatural with my second, I'm already freaking out about delivery and how to get through it!
Ok, my confession is that this phrasing Makes. Me. Ragey. Every time I hear someone calling a vaginal birth "natural" or a med free birth "natural" It makes me want to punch myself in the face! Why? Because the antonym for natural is, of course, unnatural, which has an inherent, sub-par connotation to it. ANY form of birth is natural because becoming a mother (ANY way you do it- vaginal, c-sec, epi, med free) is natural. Should a woman who had to have a c-section, epi, or other medical intervention because it was medically best for her or her child be made to feel, even indirectly, that her birth experience was somehow unnatural? No. She shouldn't.
FWIW, @riversdoctor, though I did quote your phrasing, I am absolutely not trying to take issue with you personally. You seem like a sweet person, from what I've seen. So, I'm not trying to call you out or put you on blast. I just think that people say things like this all the time without thinking of the connotation. I also really think that we should be more intentional with our words when describing an event that, for a lot of women, is a defining moment that they place a lot of stock in as far as self worth is concerned.
Leaning towards hiring a doula and going natural with more support this time. I wanted a water birth for my last but he had the cord around his neck and wasn't tolerating contractions unless I was laying down -ouch. That said I was in the hospital 45 min from the time I walked in until I was nursing him for the first time!
My confession is that after a failed epidural with my first delivery, then goingnatural with my second, I'm already freaking out about delivery and how to get through it!
Ok, my confession is that this phrasing Makes. Me. Ragey. Every time I hear someone calling a vaginal birth "natural" or a med free birth "natural" It makes me want to punch myself in the face! Why? Because the antonym for natural is, of course, unnatural, which has an inherent, sub-par connotation to it. ANY form of birth is natural because becoming a mother (ANY way you do it- vaginal, c-sec, epi, med free) is natural. Should a woman who had to have a c-section, epi, or other medical intervention because it was medically best for her or her child be made to feel, even indirectly, that her birth experience was somehow unnatural? No. She shouldn't.
FWIW, @riversdoctor, though I did quote your phrasing, I am absolutely not trying to take issue with you personally. You seem like a sweet person, from what I've seen. So, I'm not trying to call you out or put you on blast. I just think that people say things like this all the time without thinking of the connotation. I also really think that we should be more intentional with our words when describing an event that, for a lot of women, is a defining moment that they place a lot of stock in as far as self worth is concerned.
no offense taken! Also I don't view medicated births as less than or inferior! Like I said, I had an epi with no shame with my first and that was torture! If I could get an anesthesiologist to promise me I wouldn't have to go through that again I would! I'm envious of the successful epis!
@kbamomma33 Oh good call! I try to make a point to say medicated vs. unmedicated. Not sure if there's an even better wording to describe it, but that's usually my go to. Though, I do think it's fun to say my daughter was born "unnaturally" lol.
My confession is that I hate the way that everyone has made "unnatural" sound inferior, dangerous, and bad. Nature is a very harsh, horrific, and uncaring force. It is not inherantly "good" or "bad". If we truly went "natural" for everything, a good majority of us would be dead, and pretty much innured to seeing our own children die before the age of 5. Most poisons are natural, diseases are natural, and dying from a stupid ear infection or cold is "natural".
To, to my mind, when people feel superior about their "natural" birth, I think it's an intensely stupid feeling to have. I also feel that it's pretty dumb to get upset over "unnatural" birth. Did you have air conditioning while pushing out a kid? It wasn't "natural". Did you have people standing around trained in CPR that made sure you and your baby didn't die? It wasn't "natural". Did you take prenatal? Not "natural". I could go on forever about the shit humans do during pregnancy and delivery that isn't "natural" (hell, water births are done in a giant pool with treated water, because "natural" water is effing nasty).
And you know what? So what? Nobody is handing out gold stars to people who got the most "natural" experience. We are all having unnatural birth, and that is a good thing. People need to stop obsessing over this like it's a reality TV competition. It's dumb.
My confession is that I hate the way that everyone has made "unnatural" sound inferior, dangerous, and bad. Nature is a very harsh, horrific, and uncaring force. It is not inherantly "good" or "bad". If we truly went "natural" for everything, a good majority of us would be dead, and pretty much innured to seeing our own children die before the age of 5. Most poisons are natural, diseases are natural, and dying from a stupid ear infection or cold is "natural".
To, to my mind, when people feel superior about their "natural" birth, I think it's an intensely stupid feeling to have. I also feel that it's pretty dumb to get upset over "unnatural" birth. Did you have air conditioning while pushing out a kid? It wasn't "natural". Did you have people standing around trained in CPR that made sure you and your baby didn't die? It wasn't "natural". Did you take prenatal? Not "natural". I could go on forever about the shit humans do during pregnancy and delivery that isn't "natural" (hell, water births are done in a giant pool with treated water, because "natural" water is effing nasty).
And you know what? So what? Nobody is handing out gold stars to people who got the most "natural" experience. We are all having unnatural birth, and that is a good thing. People need to stop obsessing over this like it's a reality TV competition. It's dumb.
I guess my confession is that I do put women who have unmedicated births on somewhat of a pedestal in my mind. With that said, I have absolutely NO intention of having an unmedicated birth and I guess that's why I think pretty highly of women who do (or even try to). I just can't mentally wrap my head around birthing a child without any pain medication. That ring of fire thing is just not something I want to play games with, it scares the crap out of me. I feel no shame for wanting a medicated birthing experience and I don't think any women should. I just give women who go unmedicated a lot of credit because of my own fears. This is also coming from someone who has never experienced child birth AND I know every birth experience is very different. For example, my friend had an unmedicated birth and was in labor for 8 hours start to finish while my other friend was in labor unmedicated for the same 8 hours but only dilated 3CM and then decided to finally get that epi. Both equally as difficult if not harder in some ways for my friend who tried SO hard to have an unmedicated birth and in the end got the epidural which may I add she never regretted!
My confession is that I hate the way that everyone has made "unnatural" sound inferior, dangerous, and bad. Nature is a very harsh, horrific, and uncaring force. It is not inherantly "good" or "bad". If we truly went "natural" for everything, a good majority of us would be dead, and pretty much innured to seeing our own children die before the age of 5. Most poisons are natural, diseases are natural, and dying from a stupid ear infection or cold is "natural".
To, to my mind, when people feel superior about their "natural" birth, I think it's an intensely stupid feeling to have. I also feel that it's pretty dumb to get upset over "unnatural" birth. Did you have air conditioning while pushing out a kid? It wasn't "natural". Did you have people standing around trained in CPR that made sure you and your baby didn't die? It wasn't "natural". Did you take prenatal? Not "natural". I could go on forever about the shit humans do during pregnancy and delivery that isn't "natural" (hell, water births are done in a giant pool with treated water, because "natural" water is effing nasty).
And you know what? So what? Nobody is handing out gold stars to people who got the most "natural" experience. We are all having unnatural birth, and that is a good thing. People need to stop obsessing over this like it's a reality TV competition. It's dumb.
I guess my confession is that I do put women who have unmedicated births on somewhat of a pedestal in my mind. With that said, I have absolutely NO intention of having an unmedicated birth and I guess that's why I think pretty highly of women who do (or even try to). I just can't mentally wrap my head around birthing a child without any pain medication. That ring of fire thing is just not something I want to play games with, it scares the crap out of me. I feel no shame for wanting a medicated birthing experience and I don't think any women should. I just give women who go unmedicated a lot of credit because of my own fears. This is also coming from someone who has never experienced child birth AND I know every birth experience is very different. For example, my friend had an unmedicated birth and was in labor for 8 hours start to finish while my other friend was in labor unmedicated for the same 8 hours but only dilated 3CM and then decided to finally get that epi. Both equally as difficult if not harder in some ways for my friend who tried SO hard to have an unmedicated birth and in the end got the epidural which may I add she never regretted!
Honestly, I felt the same way with my first. I think it is a first time mom thing more than anything else. I wanted the whole unmedicated birth, and I felt awful to lose that goal after 48 hours of active labor made me tap out. But the minute I had my baby in my arms, my world shifted dramatically and I couldn't have given two craps about it anymore. Birth wasn't a test of my capabilities or a competition anymore. It was about her and only her. However I had gotten her was my axis of pride. It could have been through a surrogate alien worm. Don't care, it's all about her.
My confession is that I hate the way that everyone has made "unnatural" sound inferior, dangerous, and bad. Nature is a very harsh, horrific, and uncaring force. It is not inherantly "good" or "bad". If we truly went "natural" for everything, a good majority of us would be dead, and pretty much innured to seeing our own children die before the age of 5. Most poisons are natural, diseases are natural, and dying from a stupid ear infection or cold is "natural".
To, to my mind, when people feel superior about their "natural" birth, I think it's an intensely stupid feeling to have. I also feel that it's pretty dumb to get upset over "unnatural" birth. Did you have air conditioning while pushing out a kid? It wasn't "natural". Did you have people standing around trained in CPR that made sure you and your baby didn't die? It wasn't "natural". Did you take prenatal? Not "natural". I could go on forever about the shit humans do during pregnancy and delivery that isn't "natural" (hell, water births are done in a giant pool with treated water, because "natural" water is effing nasty).
And you know what? So what? Nobody is handing out gold stars to people who got the most "natural" experience. We are all having unnatural birth, and that is a good thing. People need to stop obsessing over this like it's a reality TV competition. It's dumb.
I think it is straight up irresponsible to have what some would describe the pinnacle of the "natural" childbirth experience, a home birth. I am not a doctor but from what I've read, the minutes that it takes to get to a hospital to get help should you need it could be the difference between life and death for the baby.
In the case of a home birth, I feel many mothers are placing their own desire for a certain birth experience above the best interests of their child (not saying they're doing that intentionally, but it is in my mind the end result). I don't care that your body is "made to do this on its own." We don't live in a jungle; we live in a society where there is medical help available, and if you don't want it for yourself, fine, but the fact that you would potentially risk your baby because you need to have a particular birth experience drives me batty.
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My confession is that I hate the way that everyone has made "unnatural" sound inferior, dangerous, and bad. Nature is a very harsh, horrific, and uncaring force. It is not inherantly "good" or "bad". If we truly went "natural" for everything, a good majority of us would be dead, and pretty much innured to seeing our own children die before the age of 5. Most poisons are natural, diseases are natural, and dying from a stupid ear infection or cold is "natural".
To, to my mind, when people feel superior about their "natural" birth, I think it's an intensely stupid feeling to have. I also feel that it's pretty dumb to get upset over "unnatural" birth. Did you have air conditioning while pushing out a kid? It wasn't "natural". Did you have people standing around trained in CPR that made sure you and your baby didn't die? It wasn't "natural". Did you take prenatal? Not "natural". I could go on forever about the shit humans do during pregnancy and delivery that isn't "natural" (hell, water births are done in a giant pool with treated water, because "natural" water is effing nasty).
And you know what? So what? Nobody is handing out gold stars to people who got the most "natural" experience. We are all having unnatural birth, and that is a good thing. People need to stop obsessing over this like it's a reality TV competition. It's dumb.
I think it is straight up irresponsible to have what some would describe the pinnacle of the "natural" childbirth experience, a home birth. I am not a doctor but from what I've read, the minutes that it takes to get to a hospital to get help should you need it could be the difference between life and death for the baby.
In the case of a home birth, I feel many mothers are placing their own desire for a certain birth experience above the best interests of their child (not saying they're doing that intentionally, but it is in my mind the end result). I don't care that your body is "made to do this on its own." We don't live in a jungle; we live in a society where there is medical help available, and if you don't want it for yourself, fine, but the fact that you would potentially risk your baby because you need to have a particular birth experience drives me batty.
I think I somewhat agree with this. Kind of. My cousin is a midwife and does homebirthing with great success, but it just seems to me like an incredible gamble. If something is going to go wrong, it's going to happen fast. We have a birthing center here that is actually attached to the hospital, and I think that is an ideal compromise. Having said that, I see the appeal and know firsthand that medical interventions can also go horribly wrong and can domino into more and more interventions.
So in sum, I have lots of feels but no solid stance on the issue.
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Re: unmedicated birthing, the anesthesiologist took his sweet ass time getting to me for my last birth, and the epi was in place just in time for me to push. As far as I'm concerned, when it comes to the epi, gimme gimme gimme. I'd get it placed at 39 weeks and keep it in if that was a thing. WHY ISNT THAT A THING?!
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I feel having a baby any type of way deserves a huge pat on the back! Vaginal with meds/without meds/csection! It's all a pretty huge deal! I had a vaginal birth with an epidural after endless hours of painful labor. The moment I was offered drugs I took them. It was still hard lol but as soon as I held my baby boy, I knew I'd do it again! As for moms who want to feel the whole thing without meds I couldn't do it and I applaud you for going till the end! To each their own and you are all badass!
@bettyvonsomethingstein a birthing center attached to a hospital does indeed sound ideal. And I'm certainly all for using a doula or a midwife or whatever you like to help with the birthing process... just do it at or near a hospital.
I second you re the epidural. When asked during the birthing process if I want one, my answer is always yes, as soon as possible but preferably NOW.
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I am going to try to do unmedicated birth again this time around, but only because I am terrified of needles (every other "scary" thing is fine. Bring on the snakes, spiders, and heights, just eff off with the needles).
My first experience with an epi was extremely positive, and became very conductive to giving birth because after 48 hours of labor, my body was shutting down. If my next labor is shorter, I might be able to do it.
But honestly if I end up going epi again, I don't care. I just need to be in enough pain and exhaustion to wear down my phobia.
+1 on epi FTW. I had prepped extensively for a med free mindfulness based birth with DD. Due to a medical complication, I ended up getting an epi that I didn't really want at first. I was one of the lucky ones that had a good epi experience. It was amazeee. I will be going epi right away very willingly should I get there again. Fo sho.
I was in active labor for 22 hours with my first and he had meconium so I was given pitocin which made the contractions literally go off the chart. I ended up getting the epidural a little more than half way through but to be honest I still felt a LOT. It was terrifying getting the epidural and i hated the feeling of not being able to move my legs. I would love to try to avoid it this time around. We'll see though.
Related to all this epi talk, I would love it if we had an STM topic for birth plan: last time vs. this time. Would anyone else be interested? I have a big internal debate about the epidural too (I had a bad, kind of traumatizing reaction) and I would love to hear what other ladies would keep the same from their first (or second, or whatever) deliveries, and what they would hope to do differently this time. Could be helpful insight for FTMs as well! I know as a FTM I literally read hundreds of birth stories to prepare myself for the different things that could happen.
Thoughts?
As for a confession: maybe this is lame, but I don't break a single rule while pregnant because I have massive anxiety the whole time. Even though I know logically that lunchmeat is probably fine, American cheese is pasteurized, and I could totally have one sip of wine, I can't do it. If my doctor told me to avoid the color blue or stand on my head 5 minutes a day, I'd probably do that too, I just have too much pregnancy anxiety. (Though, admittedly, I am a pretty lame rule follower in all areas of my life - I don't even illegally download music or movies or anything like that. *dork alert*)
Re: FFFC 8/25
I have lighter hair, so I've been getting away with it, I think? Then again my DH is smart enough to know that the best way to ensure a romantic end to the evening is not by pointing out that I have a 5 o'clock shadow.
Maybe I just need to move to New York.
My FFFC: I am so ticked off that our school district closed school today! Sure, it's going to rain a lot - but we live in HOUSTON and we're used to that. Now next week when we're all flooded and stuck inside our homes, THAT makes sense to cancel school. But now we have an EXTRA day to make up, and my kids are climbing the walls and we haven't even started a weekend with hurricane rains yet. GAH. (But I don't know anyone else around here who agrees with me. Apparently it's great fun to have school cancelled for no reason.)
Also, apparently I'm grumpy enough to use lots of caps. Sorry about that.
My problem is that I'm 4'10". The anesthesiologist that placed it with my second commented on how tricky it is to place an epi on a small person. So likely my previous experience was awful because the one who placed it with my first struggled to hit it just right. I was also just so much more tense with my first not knowing what to expect and that probably didn't help things.
FWIW, @riversdoctor, though I did quote your phrasing, I am absolutely not trying to take issue with you personally. You seem like a sweet person, from what I've seen. So, I'm not trying to call you out or put you on blast. I just think that people say things like this all the time without thinking of the connotation. I also really think that we should be more intentional with our words when describing an event that, for a lot of women, is a defining moment that they place a lot of stock in as far as self worth is concerned.
To, to my mind, when people feel superior about their "natural" birth, I think it's an intensely stupid feeling to have. I also feel that it's pretty dumb to get upset over "unnatural" birth. Did you have air conditioning while pushing out a kid? It wasn't "natural". Did you have people standing around trained in CPR that made sure you and your baby didn't die? It wasn't "natural". Did you take prenatal? Not "natural". I could go on forever about the shit humans do during pregnancy and delivery that isn't "natural" (hell, water births are done in a giant pool with treated water, because "natural" water is effing nasty).
And you know what? So what? Nobody is handing out gold stars to people who got the most "natural" experience. We are all having unnatural birth, and that is a good thing. People need to stop obsessing over this like it's a reality TV competition. It's dumb.
In the case of a home birth, I feel many mothers are placing their own desire for a certain birth experience above the best interests of their child (not saying they're doing that intentionally, but it is in my mind the end result). I don't care that your body is "made to do this on its own." We don't live in a jungle; we live in a society where there is medical help available, and if you don't want it for yourself, fine, but the fact that you would potentially risk your baby because you need to have a particular birth experience drives me batty.
So in sum, I have lots of feels but no solid stance on the issue.
I second you re the epidural. When asked during the birthing process if I want one, my answer is always yes, as soon as possible but preferably NOW.
My first experience with an epi was extremely positive, and became very conductive to giving birth because after 48 hours of labor, my body was shutting down. If my next labor is shorter, I might be able to do it.
But honestly if I end up going epi again, I don't care. I just need to be in enough pain and exhaustion to wear down my phobia.
Thoughts?
As for a confession: maybe this is lame, but I don't break a single rule while pregnant because I have massive anxiety the whole time. Even though I know logically that lunchmeat is probably fine, American cheese is pasteurized, and I could totally have one sip of wine, I can't do it. If my doctor told me to avoid the color blue or stand on my head 5 minutes a day, I'd probably do that too, I just have too much pregnancy anxiety. (Though, admittedly, I am a pretty lame rule follower in all areas of my life - I don't even illegally download music or movies or anything like that. *dork alert*)
Edited to fix a word that made no sense.
@maureenmce I think that's a good topic idea and would be interesting conversation for sure.