IVF Single Mom By Choice

Hopeful_mom · August 2017

@lovedontcostathing i can't believe its a pretend baby! I mean how many dolls you must've gotten rid of as a kid you could use...has to be a lil freaky. I just had that vision back in school when you had to care for a thing of flour or an egg like a baby. Hope u can manage this one

Its not waking u up in the middle of the night for feedings right?

I was concerned with my body being ready as well however so far she feels everything looks fine and its my uterus thats gotta get ready for the big show!!

@prudence9-2 you totally shouldve heard from them...I would be calling the emergency hotline - come on!!!!

LoveDontCostAThing · August 2017

@hopeful_mom -lol I never had to carry an egg or flour sack around, but it totally sounds like that! I didn't start using it yet...it's just from amazon! I actually have one baby doll from when I was a kid that I found when my parent's moved...but I got this one since it makes noises...the dogs are gonna be like wtf is this. I opened it and my one dog, Tucker, already tried to get involved with it because I'm sure he assumed it was a toy for him...this should be interesting! I'll put its batteries in later or tomorrow lol. And you would be calling the emergency hotline!!! @prudence9-2 -do you want us to call for you???

prudence9-2 · August 2017

I called again and left a message with the answering service. She told me if no one calls me by 6pm to call back and she will get a dr to call me. But from 5:55 to 7:30 I'll be on the bus. So if I don't hear from them until I have to go home, I will have to call when I get off the bus. I wouldn't want to have such a conversation on the bus next to ppl that work with me. So frustrating!!!

And it's not on the portal. I checked. But also I usually get an email that a new test result has been added.

Hopeful_mom · August 2017

Ugh I'm first leaving and now you've got me checking in on my mobile! Hoping doubled numbers are coming our way!!!

prudence9-2 · August 2017

What a tease!! I just checked the LabCorp website and it said that the report was sent to my dr at 3:19pm!!! Over 2 hours ago. Ahhhh.

LoveDontCostAThing · August 2017

@prudence9-2 -i keep checking in too! omg so frustrating!!!! it's so mean to make you wait all damn day...my doctor was relatively fast...usually before 3:00pm when you go in the morning.

DecemberDoll27 · August 2017

@prudence9-2 I have been lurking for about a week and I want you to know that I really wish you all the success! you are my inspiration! I am about to start my first IVF cycle in 11 days and what you are doing keeps me going. We are currently struggling with MIF and my unexciting tubes. I am turning 30 soon and I promised if my first IVF is a success I will do some egg donating. So I am not promising surrogacy but if you need an egg about a year from now I am willing to discus that. I made a deal with the universe that if we succeed than I need to give back

Hopeful_mom · August 2017

That's really upsetting!!!! They've had it so long, how can they not call!!! Ok I guess you're on ur way home. Sad you're 3hrs behind me and I'm still traveling home booooo

@LoveDontCostAThing I can't wait to hear how ur lil fur baby is gonna run of with this doll. I think it'll be so different with the real Lil prince.

LoveDontCostAThing · August 2017

@DecemberDoll27 -that's really sweet of you! @prudence9-2 and @hoepful_mom are inspirations...that's why I've been hanging out with them for months

Also, I'm around you're age and started all this right when I turned 30. We also struggle with MFI, so I would be happy to answer any questions. Be kind to yourself during this process, and if it doesn't work the first time then don't give up...it's a number's game. It took my third transfer to get where I am now. Make sure they use ICSI too because it's better for MFI!

@hopeful_mom -nooooo, we have to keep the baby doll safe!!!!! I will wrap it in a blanket and keep it safe from Tucker...lol. my other dog loves babies, but probably won't be interested in the doll. this is gonna be an interesting experiment.

prudence9-2 · August 2017

@DecemberDoll27 thanks

I'm still hopeful this one will be okay. And if not, that one of the two frozen that I have will stick & stay

Good luck with the IVF!

@LoveDontCostAThing so cool with the baby doll! Can't wait how he dogs reacted.

AFM... the on call doctor just called me and told me that my beta is 148... and I was like... no that was from 2 days ago. Anyway, she doesn't have today's results. Which means I have to wait for tomorrow

Hopeful_mom · August 2017

prudence9-2 nooooooooooooooooo, I'm so angry for you. Try and get some sleep if you can. Hope better news in the morning!!

@LoveDontCostAThing good luck tucker

let us know how it goes!!

@DecemberDoll27 best of luck for a successful cycle!

prudence9-2 · August 2017

@hopeful_mom yeah I'm so upset. This wait is no fun.

Hopeful_mom · August 2017

Hoping ur calling and getting good news!!

prudence9-2 · August 2017

Just called one of the nurses and she said they can't find it. And are calling LabCorp to find out the results. I only did the blood test 26 hours ago!

prudence9-2 · August 2017

Level dropped to 134. Going to stop all medications and hope it drops to 5 sooner than last time.

***TW*** this is my second pregnancy and second failure with a PGS normal embryo. I'm at loss. ***end TW***

im so sad right now. Not surprised though. I kinda knew it wasn't good days ago. I bet that little brown chunk was the part of the m/c....

Hopeful_mom · August 2017

prudence9-2 I'm so very sad seeing this update, I have no words at all

i'm so sorry and i know nothing I say is going to make you feel any better. I am glad that you do still have 2 in waiting BUT this doesn't make this loss any less devastating. I'm so heartbroken for you! I wish I could come hug you. Sending all the love - I'm so angry! I'm sorry

prudence9-2 · August 2017

Thanks @hopeful_mom but I feel like I'm wasting these normal embryos on my body that can't carry pregnancy. I might look into surrogacy while I wait for my HCG levels to go down. That might take weeks! Last time from 78 it took over 3 weeks. And I'm at 134 now.

LoveDontCostAThing · August 2017

@prudence9-2 -ughhhh no, no, no....I am so sorry. I also know that nothing I say will make you feel better, but this blows. how soon can you consult with your doctor? there has to be a reason implantation is failing...the thing is that you can get pregnant, which is half the battle for some women. I feel like the doctor has to shed more light on why you aren't staying pregnant if all of your levels are normal and your lining is good. I agree not to waste good embryos, but if the doctor can give you a reason maybe you can try again. How much is a surrogate? Thinking of you....and I hate your LabCorps...they are always losing your shit. I'm actually about to call LabCorp around me for blood tests.

Hopeful_mom · August 2017

@prudence9-2 Did your RE call you today? Knowing the embryos are normal makes it that much more upsetting! We know you can get pregnant and they say thats a really tough part. thinking of you!!
Surrogates are certainly pricey!!! There is someone on my "not my first rodeo" thread that was looking into it and in the process of it. I'm sure she could shed some light on it for you!

prudence9-2 · August 2017

@LoveDontCostAThing & @Hopeful_mom first appt she has is on Sept 30th. But they'll try to get it earlier. I hope they can. I don't want to wait over a month. But I might have to. Who knows maybe it will take my hcg levels that long to come down.

as for surrogacy, I think it's about $100k. But at this point, if I do another IVF and more FET those will be OOP anyway, so maybe I should take that money and put it toward something like that?

i don't know. I'm very sad right now.

We had a meeting right after I got the news and I was really snappy. I wanna go home and cry. But I'm stuck here in an open space office with a bunch of young guys.

JamieH2000 · August 2017

**lurking** @prudence9-2- so sorry to see your update.. I was cheering for you since I have been on these boards a while now and followed your journey. I wish I could give any good advice, but just know all of us are here for you and thinking of you. I really hope you can get into your RE sooner.. they really need to keep some openings for discussions after a cycle!!

prudence9-2 · August 2017

Thanks @JamieH2000 I hope they'll have an opening.

i really think it's me though. Two PGS normal embryos... and both times it ended before 6.5 weeks.

prudence9-2 · August 2017

They were able to squeeze me for an appt with the doctor for this coming Monday!

At least I won't have to wait a month.

Hopeful_mom · August 2017

@prudence9-2- is there anyway you can leave work earlier or you have to wait for the bus? G;ad they can get you in earlier, a month are they insane! i'd be telling them my RE needs to fit me in at the end of the day come on.
I'm so sad! Its very frustrating and scary to say the least. Its suppose to work period BUT thats why they say that its not 100% I'm glad you just had to go through one round of IVF to get your normies I mean homies

(just trying to make you smile) Do you have the MTHFR gene? I know i've asked you and dont remember?

prudence9-2 · August 2017

@hopeful_mom I didn't test for the gene or immune stuff.
So glad they squeezed me in. If you can think of questions I can ask he dr, that would be great.

So on top of everything, I have crazy allergies this week. Which is great today because my eyes are teary so I can just blame the allergies. I think I'm going to take the first bus out because of my allergies (yeah, right...) but the first bus is in the peak of rush hour and take over 2 hours. So I might wait for the second bus out which is slightly faster.

Im actually seriously thinking of switching to surrogacy unless the dr can come up with more stuff we can do to reassure this doesn't happen again.

And I know nothing is 100%. But once a normal embryo implant, 90% of m/c are related to defects which my embryo shouldn't have.

LoveDontCostAThing · August 2017

@prudence9-2 -thank god they fit you in earlier...a month wait is cruel. they should definitely have openings to debrief after failed cycles for patients. bring a list of questions to ask. I think you should totally ask about immune and gene testing. you say your allergies are really bad...I wonder if allergies, overall, can mean that your immune system is compromised somehow? I am totally speculating. I have heard of people being "allergic" to the embryo/ implantation. You should ask about that. I've even heard of anti-hisatmines helping implantation...another question. I am a questioner LOL the one doctor actually told me they like when people ask good questions. at my dr. I met with three different doctors at different times (more than once) and always had lengthy meetings because I asked lot of questions, many backed by research because I read lots of articles online...I even read some case studies. I just feel like it is such a positive thing that you can get pregnant and that maybe they can do more tests to find out how to keep it moving along. I am going to do some research and send you any links I find.

I am so sorry that you are sad...and I am sad for you too

I think I find that when I am sad or bothered by something (such as fertility issues and also my anxiety/ OCD) I often research to try to get some answers/ help/ clarity. It's certainly more productive than being depressed...of course, short periods of depression are understandable in this process. Okay, I am off to research!

LoveDontCostAThing · August 2017

@prudence9-2 -I am going to give you reading material for your bus ride...here is the first link:

https://haveababy.com/fertility-information/ivf-authority/repeated-ivf-failure-with-genetically-normal-embryos-a-case-report

This could be a possibility (from the article):

"Implantation dysfunction (anatomical or immunologic) is a common cause of repeated “unexplained” IVF failure with good embryos. This is especially the case in young ovulating women who have normal ovarian reserve and have fertile partners. Failure to identify, typify, and address such issues is, in my opinion, a relatively common cause of repeated IVF failure."

DecemberDoll27 · August 2017

@prudence9-2 I am so sorry for your loss. Have you ever thought aboit switching to a different RE? Their protocoll is supposed to be designed so everybody could carry! Also are they thawing the embabies correctly? It is our initial reactoin to take the blame, but it does not have to be this way! For example our first RE went straight to MFI because it was the easiest thing, however 1 year later it turned out hubby is fine and both of my tubes are screwed. It depends on the doctor and sometimes it is ok to seek a second opinion

prudence9-2 · August 2017

@LoveDontCostAThing my allergy is pollen allergy and it has been bad this week. I don't think I had allergies last week. (And technically, I think the pregnancy ended last Thurs when I saw that brown chunk).

With that said, it is a good point to ask. Because when my previous pregnancy ended it was just as allergy season was starting here. So maybe there is a relationship between the two. I'll def add it to the list of questions.

I just got on an earlier bus and will read that article you posted. That's so sweet of you to look that up for me

as for immune & gene, I will bring it up. But I don't think they do these tests here. So I will have to go somewhere else for that.

Wheneve I get pregnant I start having fast heartbeat a lot. I brought it up last time. But since after the first m/c my thyroids tests were fine we didn't do anything. My guess is that maybe my thyroid levels go crazy once I'm pregnant. And I guess we won't know until we test. But I'm not sure I want to waste another embryo for that.

@DecemberDoll27 my clinic is a large university hospital clinic. I think they use the latest procedures, equipment and latest research. So unless I decide to go and test immune issues, I don't think I will go somewhere else.

I guess I will know more after I talk to my RE on Monday.

LoveDontCostAThing · August 2017

#2: this one is incredibly long...I didn't read most of it, but I like how it has several possibilities that you could scroll through and see if you think any apply...maybe print it as a reference and bring to your appointment. Repeated Implantation Failure (RIF) is considered after it not working three times. your dr. may suggest you try once more.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3510376/

prudence9-2 · August 2017

@LoveDontCostAThing quickly read the first article. It kinda points to immune or implantation failure. I wonder if the first pregnancy counts as implantation failure. Because I got to hear a heartbeat. Which was a little slow. But it def implanted. Which makes me think of immune issues again. I'll read it again over the weekend and take some notes. Now to #2

LoveDontCostAThing · August 2017

@prudence9-2 -I definitely think the immune issue is worth looking into...now article #2 has so many things on there ...could definitely be something on there!

prudence9-2 · August 2017

@LoveDontCostAThing it's difficult to read it on the bus. Will def read it over the weekend and take notes about it so I can ask my doctor.

LoveDontCostAThing · August 2017

@prudence9-2 -if it's not implantation, perhaps a blood clotting issue? check out #3:

https://www.newyorkfertilityservices.com/causes-of-infertility/recurrent-miscarriage/clotting-disorders-recurrent-miscarriage/

I think I am researched-out for this evening, but the only coping mechanism I can think of for you is to be proactive by reading whatever you can find!

prudence9-2 · August 2017

@LoveDontCostAThing thanks again for all the articles. I've bookmarked them all and will read over the weekend. I do believe they checked blood clotting after the last m/c...

Hopeful_mom · August 2017

I'll have to try and read these articles over the weekend too. All of this sux and is very scary!!
I doubt you have the gene i believe the testing would've come up with the MC testing as it did for mine...
hope you're home resting!

prudence9-2 · August 2017

@hopeful_mom they didn't test me for that gene.... took me 2:20 to get home... but I'm home now. Just had a drink. And will go to bed soon. I'm tired. Woke up at 4am this morning and couldn't fall asleep afterwards.

I dont not know what tests or what changes my RE will propose. But I'm not sure I'm willing to risk my embryos...

Hopeful_mom · August 2017

prudence9-2 its a very hard decision and unless you know someone to be a surrogate i think that will take a min to figure out too! Would you consider doing another ivf cycle before a transfer. I know these are tough decisions BUT it sounds like your levels are still good to be able to get more normal embryos if u need to. Have another drink!

prudence9-2 · August 2017

@hopeful_mom yeah I was thinking about maybe another IVF. And no, I don't know someone that would be a surrogate... I guess I'll have to use an agency... this weekend I'm going to read the articles @LoveDontCostAThing posted and think of more questions to ask. and then go see my dr on Monday...

this is so tough. 2 PGS normal embryos. Implanted but didn't last long

which reminds me, am I suppose to have bleeding after something like that? Other than that brown chunk a week ago, I had nothing. (Sorry for the TMI...)

Hopeful_mom · August 2017

I think chemicals are different some I think the only bleeding will be once when your period arrives

i think it's worth asking about immunology but she may just tell you it's bad luck too. A girl on the ERA boards planted a bunch of normies and it didn't work so for her that test showed it's a timing issue. How a day or even 12hrs can make a difference is amazing to me!

i know money doesn't grow on trees. But I would consider doing another round of ivf and look into the surrogacy as well. Sending hugs!!

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