Baby Showers!

kaitlinliz · August 2017

Let's see photos from your baby shower, sprinkle, diaper party! We'd love to see what you got/how you partied/etc! What did you wear? Share whatever you want to!

hillaryo14 · August 2017

I don't have many pictures from the shower, but I'll share what I have!

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/8o/e5vlkup2b149.jpg

Mom and I

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/ic/b6j6z68ag8fc.jpg

Ladies from my family, including my 94(?) year old great aunt

dragonfly87-2 · August 2017

I will be having two showers, one in state with friends and one out if state with families. First one will be in early September since we are already visiting my family and the second one will be in October. Obviously no photos at this point!

megmralph · August 2017

What is everyone giving their shower hosts as "thank you" gifts? I'm working on some receiving blankets with a print that says "I love grandma" on them to give to the grandmothers who are hosting a shower now... but want to give them something else that's actually for them as well.

DungeonTrollMel · August 2017

I am doing an Alex &a Ani bracelet and bottle of wine for each of my hostesses

megmralph · August 2017

@DungeonTrollMel Cute! Bottle of wine is a GREAT idea.

It could actually pair really well with the baby blanket... and a note that says "for when babies come to visit."

Thanks!

kaitlinliz · August 2017

Honestly I'm a b**ch lol I wasn't planning on getting them anything. But the one hostess, I threw her shower in March and she will be the godmother (I'm the godmother to hers) and the other I didn't even think about it. So many hands are helping make this happen that I'd be broke if I got them all stuff and if I did it only for the 2 main hostesses I'd hurt others feelings who were big helps. So I plan on sending them thank you's specifically about helping make it a success

NYTino24 · August 2017

My sister is hosting and driving me nuts. The date never got pinned down since she made me work around her schedule and DH's insane work schedule. I picked a date and nothing happened with it until it was too late and she tried to say that giving people 3 week's notice was fine. (Not in NJ...people are busy and booked up here. Plus, I have friends who need to make flight arrangements from VA and SC. Apparently it's not normal to make plans for things months in advance where she lives?!) Anyway, our clubhouse requires a month's notice, so that ended the argument. Then she booked a vacation for the next available date she had told us. Now it's pushed all the way back to October 21, when I'll be 36 weeks pregnant and there is a huge charity event that a lot of our friends will be attending. I'm ticked off that her attitude is, "Well, if they are good enough friends then they will find a way to make it." And yet she didn't plan her vacation around it (and honestly I wouldn't expect her to, but she can't say that about others and do something different...) Needless to say, we were planning on a coed shower with an open bar to make it a little more fun and less emotional for me. We told her we would pay for everything and she keeps resisting that, but then trying to tone it down. She even suggested we have a separate shower with a BBQ... in the fall... if we want it to be coed. I don't think it's fair to exclude men, many of which are our best friends, just because showers are typically for women. It's our rainbow baby, and I've waited 34 years to have kids... I just want her to make it easy for me.

littlemissc17 · August 2017

@NYTino24 I don't blame you for being frustrated!! I'm annoyed just reading it! Have you tried explaining to her your feelings behind everything? Do you think she would be understanding and more accommodating?

MKMandeville · August 2017

One of our good friends is throwing us a small Sprinkle shower at our house in Sunday. After going back and forth on getting a hostess gift (I never heard of this before and felt like I should go back and get my mom and sister something for hosting DDs shower) and ultimately went with this tumbler in the teal and pink. I will then fill it with her favorite candy.

NYTino24 · August 2017

@littlemissc17

I asked DH to handle it because she also drove me nuts about the wedding shower. She did a pretty good job, but I was less than happy with the favors and "games" considering a lot people drove far and spent money. I wish she had clued me in and I would have thrown in some money for it, so I guess that's why I'm being a little more involved this time. I guess things are more casual where she lives (Delaware countryside), but people here spend a lot and I want to make sure they are properly thanked. {Meanwhile she demanded specific dates for and locations her wedding and baby showers and then told me she was disappointed that we didn't have two wedding showers for her since she has friends in both states.} She is dealing with having had a partial hysterectomy due to some serious issues with endometriosis and scarring about 9 month ago, but her wedding and baby shower issue behaviors were far before that, so I think it's just her norm. I do love her and she can be a good sister, but she is unpredictable. She said she's just upset that I "don't trust her" to do a good job.

Anyway, I did get her a makeup pallet and brushes since she always tries mine when she's at my house.

kaitlinliz · August 2017

@NYTino24 ugh that pissed me off! My showers in Jersey and we sent out invites the end of June...it's this Sat. We wanted them out sooner but switched the venue, luckily I was making the invites so I just needed to change the address and get an emailed copy to the hostess. We didn't even know the gender yet when we sent them lol! I'm supposed to be having a shower at my job ..we live 2 hours from home and most of my coworkers live even further than that so I didn't invite them since its just insane to even expect them to come, but I don't think they've even started thinking about it, my clients ask me all the time when it's gonna be, but it's always a surprise for the mom so I just tell them to ask my boss but they never do lol! I'm just going with the flow and hope they really do throw one, not cuz I want stuff but they've done it for every other mom so far and it'd be fun to have a party with them and my clients (we can't legally have the clients at our houses so it'd have to be at work). I started there the week before I found out I was pregnant so it has me worried they won't since I haven't been there long even though they said they would be.

dragonfly87-2 · August 2017

This is a baby shower rant...so fair warning. (in spoiler)

I have two planned at this point that I mentioned above. Well, my DH's mom and my best friend had offered to host my shower in our home state. I really didn't want one because 1) I find them awkward and 2) I don't have a ton of friends or family here. Realistically, there may be about 8-10 people at the shower. But I reluctantly agreed to let them do it.
Well, it's become more of a hassle than it's worth. DH's mom and my BF are terrible at communicating and are trying to coordinate via text message...but are not doing it well. My BF, while I love her, is super cheap. Like offered to host my wedding shower initially and then backed out when she figured it would cost more than $50...which she could afford, but didn't want to. Fine, I didn't ask her to host one, she offered. But then it was annoying she backed out and my mom ended up picking it up since invites had already gone out. At this point, neither of the two are taking the lead and they are trying to route info through me...which is frustrating. Now, my BF is asking if he can be hosted at my house rather than her house (no real reason other than I get a sense she doesn't want to clean). Well, I don't want to clean either and I don't even want this dang baby shower!
I am so close to just calling it off and saying F*** it let's not do this.

End rant.

kaitlinliz · August 2017

@dragonfly87-2 I am sooooo sorry you're dealing with that! Why did she even offer again if she doesn't wanna pay? I threw my BF hers while I was moving and didn't even have a job yet. I used our savings to do it and put it back when I got a job. I kno some people aren't willing to do that/can't do that but then don't offer! Her in-laws were amazing help and chipped in and even held it at their house cuz my place is 2 hours away and no one lives near me. But if I didn't think I could do it/didn't wanna pay I wouldn't have offered. I did 99% of decorations by hand including her guest book and garland and banners just so I didn't have to pay for them but she loved them more than if I had gone out and paid money. There's definitely ways around saving money without skimping on the overall product. I called in help - her MIL cooked the food, my other best friend made the cake, etc. And that's what's happening for mine (that she's throwing) her MIL, her mom, my mom and a few others are making food, my BF and SIL are making the desserts, others are making the decorations. And I'm so excited to see it all come together because people actually took the time to do things and didn't go buy a bunch of crap

dragonfly87-2 · August 2017

@kaitlinliz It boggles my mind that she offered to do it this time, especially given the wedding shower. It's definitely not a money situation (she has told me they have $50k in emergency savings)...not that I expect her to spend anything, it's just that she is extremely frugal. Which I can completely appreciate because I am frugal too. But I wish she wouldn't offer to do things.

I am also worried because DH's mom is sweet and well-intentioned, but very bad with money and follow through. She offered to host/pay for our wedding rehearsal dinner. We told her it wasn't necessary, but she insisted. We tried to keep it at reasonable cost and ordered take out bbq. It came to $300 for about 40 people. The day arrived and we showed up to their house and they hadn't picked up the food yet (about 1.5 hours before the reception). She proceeded to say she didn't have the money and could not do it. I was so livid that she waited until the last minute to tell us. So I had to frantically go find an atm and withdraw the money, get it to her and have the food picked up. I would have been completely fine paying for our rehearsal dinner...but I would have preferred to know we were doing that from the beginning.

So I am not optimistic about this shower going through at all....which is ultimately fine. I just hope they don't send out invites and then have to cancel or it becomes a cluster f**k for guests.

MaximumEffort · August 2017

I finally approached the subject with my mom who told my MIL that she wanted one "later". Dear mom, not everyone stays home, they have jobs and need to plan ahead and a shower needs to be planned not thrown together. I think I got my MIL to reach out to my mom because at the least my MIL says I need things. I told MIL to coordinate with my DH because he knows me. My mother still gets me gifts that have nothing to do with me or gets me chocolate cake, I hate chocolate cake, always have, always asked for strawberry growing up. It annoys DH to no end. Maybe DH can get them a nice venue at his work for an afternoon and I'll let MIL take the lead with my SIL.

sml1982 · August 2017

Im not having a baby shower...and after reading everyones comments I am even more convinced that Im doing the right thing. Im 35 and my husband is 37, this is our first child and we are financially stable. We dont have very many people we associate with and just felt it would be a waste of money. We bought our baby the things she needs with the money we would have spent on a baby shower and my parents paid for her nursery. Ive been shopping since I found out I was pregnant and at this point we have everything she needs. I just knew I didn't need the extra stress. I helped plan my bridal shower along with my best friend and it was just so stressful and I spent well over $1000 and it was held in my home. Never again!

littlemissc17 · August 2017

@NYTino24 I just can't understand how people can demand things be a certain way for their events but not respect what another person wants for their own day. I'm glad you were able to let your H handle it and not have to do it yourself. Family relationships are hard!!

DungeonTrollMel · August 2017

I'm starting to get a littler nervous about my shower this weekend. My SIL is throwing it with MIL. She was out of town for the last 3 weeks at her in laws and while we were over at her house yesterday she made a comment of "oh yeah your shower is in 3 days, I should probably text mum so we can get they figured out" .......ummmm ok. I'm super low key and appreciate that they are doing anything at all while we are visiting but that sounds like it may be last minute

NYTino24 · August 2017

I am so frustrated for everyone! What is wrong with people? I am very lucky that DH is able to talk sense into people and is usually willing to step it up when others don't. My mother and MIL / SIL did not mention a shower at all, and I know they aren't paying for any of it or helping plan anything, so I'm not sure if they just assumed my twin would take care of it. I don't think she has contacted any of them either...

I hate people saying the shower is for the mother. It's not. It's for the baby and there are two parents! Even DH says, "your shower" and that bothers me. He doesn't like the idea of wedding or baby showers either. Ours is coed because he's the father and I expect him to be there. Plus, men tend to be more chill and less judgemental (I am a feminist, but it's my opinion and I have a right to say / think so since we have 7 sisters, I work in a field of mostly women, etc.) so we have more of them as friends than women. Maybe that's my FFFC.

NYTino24 · August 2017

@DragonTrollMel @dragonfly87-2 I would like to shake those people for you!!!

cwalker042 · August 2017

Wow, I feel awful for everyone. This is supposed to be a joyous time. A time to celebrate with those closest to you. It's not supposed to be stressful. I've had 3 baby showers. Two of them for my now 13 year old and one for my 2 year old. I will not be having one for this baby. Each of my showers were handled by either family or friends and went off without any issues. I told them to just tell me where to be and when to be there and I'll be there. Same as my bridal shower. Showers should never stress out the guest of honor. It should be made to be a pleasant and enjoyable experience. I'm so sorry people are having bad experiences. It makes me want to throw you all an amazing stressfree shower!

kaitlinliz · August 2017

@cwalker042 I feel the same way! My parents were driving me nuts at the beginning cuz they didn't want my friend hosting it at her house (she had a baby in May but she offered!) It got moved to her bfs moms house which is perfectly fine by me.

But my requirement was that it was a laid back BBQ type because my bridal shower was more formal and I'm not a formal person. I want hamburgers and a pool lol. That is what I'm getting. The showers tomorrow!! And I'm so excited! There's 30 out of 60 people actually coming and only 9 of them are on DHs side but honestly IDC! I understand it's summer and people are on vacation and others don't wanna celebrate baby for one reason or another. But the ones who do want to are gonna be there and that's what I'm looking forward to - not dwelling on those who couldn't make it.

CrunchyMidwife · August 2017

Mine is September 23rd at the local community center. Park for the kids, finger foods, snacks etc and cheesy baby shower games. Thats all I need lmao told my step mom and and my grandma that I'm not picky just glad to have one so it's in their hands. We're all super close though so they get me better than I'd like to think.

DungeonTrollMel · August 2017

On top of shower planning drama, one of my friends from home flew up to Canada for my shower since she lived in Denver and had to travel regardless. We went out to dinner tonight and she got so absolutely wasted she had no clue where she was, kept trying to leaving dinner thinking she was back at home, couldn't walk out of the restaurant without me holding her up and is currently passed out after she called me mean and said I hated her while we waited for a cab.

Cant wait for tomorrow

kaitlinliz · August 2017

@DungeonTrollMel oh lord. Hopefully when she comes to she realizes what she did

curiousfool1 · August 2017

I will be attending two that I know of now, one for each side of my family (divorced parents). Both are low-key and I am not involved in planning other than to give the names of the few friends I would like invited. The only other input I had was to insist that I actually be able to eat the food served at the showers (I have food allergies), and that the shower thrown by my mom/sister is not decorated exclusively in pink and blue. (We don't know the gender.) The pink/blue issue turned out to be a big deal for my mother, surprisingly. I heard a lot of "well, how will people know it's a baby shower unless you do pink and blue?" Then again, she is of the group of moms that truly believes all girls need to be dressed exclusively in pink, and all boys in blue.

photogal1317 · August 2017

I hate that everyone is going through this, but I'm glad I'm not alone for the stressful shower! I had hooded for something casual, but my aunt is throwing it and she's old school, so restaurant style female only. She doesn't have any kids of her own to throw something for, and was annoyed that we didn't have a wedding shower. I have had no input on it (except for the cake because I fought for it to come from my favorite bakery by my house). She was annoyed with me when I couldn't agree to her original date, but it's homecoming weekend and as a teacher I always have weekend responsibilities then. She kept hounding me until our registry was finished, causing that process to be more stressful that it needed to be. I'm also not convinced she's going to get a separate meal for my best friend who's flying in with food allergies - fingers crossed. I know I should just be grateful she's doing it in the first place, but you add in the fact that her and my mom are fighting, and it's just been too stressful. Here's hoping that when it comes to the day of for all of us, we're all pleasantly surprised and just have a fun time!

littlemissc17 · August 2017

@DungeonTrollMel and @kaitlinliz how did your showers go this weekend?

DungeonTrollMel · August 2017

@littlemissc17 it went really well! It was small (less than 10 people) and casual. We didn't do any games. Mostly all chatted, had an ice cream sundae bar!!! And openned presents. It was so surreal that I finally had a baby shower. My one in October will be much bigger and probably overwhelming.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/b0/2xi8gxz3ct4b.jpg

elmich3 · August 2017

Question... I'm having two showers, one from my family and one from his family. His mom invited my mom, sister and neices to her side. My aunt on my side just asked if I wanted to invite any of his family to ours.. who should I invite?? He just has his mom, sister in law and two nieces but we aren't very close.

littlemissc17 · August 2017

@DungeonTrollMel I'm glad it went well! Everything looked so pretty and you looked beautiful!! Mmm ice cream... lol

kaitlinliz · August 2017

@littlemissc17 it was perfect! We had about 30 people come - half of who was invited but it was definitely plenty! I was waiting to have more photos to share but here's some of my favorites ..the little's are my twin niece and nephew

littlemissc17 · August 2017

@kaitlinliz that looks like so much fun! I love how your shirt went with your theme! I'm living vicariously through you ladies since I won't be having a shower

Airynn Chica · August 2017

@elmich3 I'd invite the same from your DHs side if that's what they did.

kaitlinliz · August 2017

@littlemissc17 thanks! I made it the week prior. My parents met because of Jaws. Long story but they both worked/got hired at the movie theater when it came out. So sharks are a big thing in our family. Before trying we both wanted under the sea themed nursery but in different ways - he wanted turtles and I wanted sharks/jellyfish...so we combined them. So of course I needed a shark shirt!

dragonfly87-2 · August 2017

So over it! So now my MIL is really irking me. She hasn't established a date...but has been talking with friends/co-workers to see what works for them. The catch is....she hasn't asked me if/when I can attend. She says weekends would be difficult because of her work schedule...but I work daily from 7:30-6:30pm or later. I am not going to an evening weeknight shower and none of my friends could make it (they live an hour away). She doesn't seem to understand my communicated concerns about it, but keeps say, "Oh I will figure it out and let you know if I need anything from you."

So there will probably be a shower...but I won't be there. I am so over showers....

kaitlinliz · August 2017

@dragonfly87-2 what the actual f**k. Who goes to showers during the week? Why can't she do it on a weekend? I'd have killed if someone made mine a weeknight cuz it was 2 hours away for me not to mention some of the guests that were traveling from other states.

Did anyone have issues come up AFTER the shower? DH text me today mad that I hadn't invited his best friends gf. She was in our bridal party 3 years ago. He said it was rude of me not to invite her. He was the one who wanted her in the party, I'm not really friends with her. I haven't spoken to her since the wedding. And her and bf don't make attempts to see us even when we would go to our hometown. I haven't even gotten a congratulations from her. What would make me think she'd even WANT to come. But apparently she told his mom she heard about it but wasn't invited. She only heard about it cuz my dad happened to mention it to her mom.

dragonfly87-2 · August 2017

@kaitlinliz: I am so confused as well. It just doesn't make any season and I am at the point of not even trying to understand anymore.

Ugh...sorry about the situation with your DH and the friend's gf. I wouldn't have invited her either if you aren't close with her. I don't think men understand these things sometimes....

kaitlinliz · September 2017

I don't think they understand either. He hasn't mentioned it since I gave him my reasons and my MIL called today and talked for like a half hour and didn't mention it once (the gf mentioned it to her which is how DH heard). Like it may be awkward the first time we see them next (god only knows when that'll be tho) but seriously I'm over it. Lol.

I stopped trying to understand people a long time ago. I have run out of patience which isn't a good thing in my line of work so hopefully I get it back after baby comes. But let's just say I roll my eyes more than I pee now.

NYTino24 · September 2017

@dragonfly87-2 Can YH step in and put her in her place or at least talk some sense into her?
@kaitlinliz My response to her directly wouldn't, "Invite must have gotten lost in the mail, so sorry! I thought I would have heard from you about it by now if you hadn't gotten one, but it has been a while since we talked. Hehe..." If your MIL flat out told her you didn't want to invite her, well that wasn't her place and the girl should have asked you or YH.

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