Baby Showers!

MaximumEffort

 I think I finally have one scheduled. My DH works at a nice museum and they have a room that's just been redone and perfect. Funny thing is my baby shower will be the day before my anniversary and the same place we have our reception. SIL asked about a theme, what? Idk children's literary characters? 

SIL was making it kind of hard. She told me I couldn't have it the 14th cause her son is having his birthday and he's having another on the 21st. We are trying to go off my work schedule and make it so others can come, couldn't have it any later or else I would maybe have him by then.  Little rant....then she asks if I can make a baptism in November...no, no I cannot. No way in hell my midwife would allow me to travel 3 hours away from our hospital and i would not come with a newborn, I'm still not going up on the 14th for the birthday party cause it's just not safe (I usually make it to 37 weeks. That's 10 days before possible go time). 

dragonfly87-2

@NYTino24  I love my DH, but he is so not helpful for these things. He said to be firm on the no weekday thing...but in reality, he doesn't talk to his mother very often (even though she lives 20 minutes away). We usually see her on birthdays and Thanksgiving. Other than the occasional text. I actually am the one who usually initiates invites over for dinner or things. I normally really like her and she is very well intentioned...this situation is just very bizarre overall.

I did notice that she must have purchased about $150 off our registry yesterday. She asked where we were registered on Tuesday and then a bunch of things were purchased yesterday. So it is very kind of her and I am grateful, but this shower is stressing me out.

kaitlinliz

@NYTino24 I don't think my MIL knew she wasn't on the list but she also didn't ask who I did invite, minus her side of course. And I talked to my MIL for a half hour yesterday and she didn't ask about it. 

nbush01

Me and soon to be big sister ❤

dragonfly87-2

Had my shower with family out of state. It was great and the décor was like something off Pinterest. Grateful to have such awesome family and friends. 

DungeonTrollMel

@dragonfly87-2 it looks gorgeous

samsterrr

I've been trying to reply for like two weeks but the bump wouldn't let me reset my password to sign in! We had our shower Saturday and it was awesome! My best friend surprised me by flying our other best friend down from Washington so that was the best gift! Then we go everything we needed so I'm super stoked to start washing things and put them away! 

dragonfly87-2

Now I am in an awkward spot ladies. I mentioned before that MIL had wanted to do a baby shower, but was making it way more complicated and that dates may not line up if she tried to do a week night instead of weekend. Well, that was like 3 weeks ago. Fast forward to now.

She has been dead silent about the shower since our last conversation. I am still in the boat where I am perfectly fine not having a shower...but if she does one...I want it to happen before I get to the 36+ week mark and I want my friends to have ample notice. I am sitting here at 30w3d and I texted her earlier today to see if she was still planning to do one. No response (I know she is off and has her phone...because she randomly texted DH something different afterward). 

I just don't understand why she is making this so awkward and difficult...

mymulligan

Sorry @dragonfly87-2, that really sucks. I don't know what why people are so selfish/immature sometimes. 

YesOuiCan

@dragonfly87-2 That is so weird and sounds incredibly frustrating. Did she ever answer your text yesterday??

DungeonTrollMel

@dragonfly87-2 it sounds like she's making this all about her and not her unborn grandchild 

kaitlinliz

Ugh @dragonfly87-2 I am so sorry! I agree with all these ladies, she's making it all about her and that is driving me nuts! I really hope something is figured out 

curiousfool1

I had the baby shower thrown by my sister and mom this weekend.  Small, but so wonderful to see friends from home. My sister surprised me with framed quotations from Alice in Wonderland, which I planned to make up myself for my nursery anyway! The other pregnant mama and I have been friends since birth- literally, our moms met in birth class with us and now we're due with our first little ones 4 weeks apart. 

kaitlinliz

@curiousfool1 that is the best story! I absolutely love it!

dragonfly87-2

@yesouican: Nope, no response. So it's been over 24 hours....I am just going to let it go now.

YesOuiCan

@dragonfly87-2 You're a saint. That is so rude that she's just ignoring you now. Sounds like letting it go is the best thing you can do for your own sanity!

@curiousfool1 That picture is adorable! Love the bumps. How sweet that you've known each other your whole lives, and that now you're becoming mamas at the same time.

NYTino24

Due to my carpal tunnel, I won't be opening gifts at our shower. It's coed with an open bar, so most people probably won't care. Has anyone seen a gift table sign that says something about not opening gifts unless a guess asks us to? DH would open it if someone asks. These are the closest I've seen to what I'm looking for, but they aren't quite right and I've asked my sister to tell anyone who RSVPs this, but I'm betting she hasn't.

cwalker042

@NYTino24 I've never heard of that before. I have been to parties where the gifts are wrapped but not opened until later in the evening after all the guests have left. 

dragonfly87-2

@NYTino24 another option might be to just ask all gifts are brought in bags and then verbally spread the message it is difficult for you to open things. Or just have your DH open everything that is wrapped and you stick to bagged items. I would honestly avoid a sign or sending out something about unwrapped gifts...since it doesn't seem to be the norm and might confuse people.

NYTino24

Yeah, invites went out and I'm not sending anything out about not wrapping or opening gifts. The last shower I went to was the same - coed with lots to do, eat, and drink... and no opening of gifts. They had a DJ and just took the microphone to thank everyone, said they wanted to spend time with people, and that they'd open gifts at home. I didn't mind, but I'm wondering if people who are more traditional would. My sister didn't put coed on the invite and a few people were surprised when I told them men and kids are invited. I couldn't handle a traditional shower considering it's our rainbow baby. I needed DH and our friends (many are male) to be there.

Another thing regarding not being able to use hands - How bad is it to have thank you cards written out and attached to gift favor bags that guests take home? Our shower is only 4 weeks before my due date and I just don't think I can write a ton. It is really hard to hold a pen and DH is working two jobs /studying for a promotion test. We will be sending more personalized announcement / Christmas cards a few weeks after he is born anyway. 

kissthesky32

@NYTino24 I would wait and write thank yous after baby. Maybe I'm more traditional, but I would be pissed to not get a personalized thank you card after spending time at your shower and money on your gift.

kaitlinliz

@NYTino24 I agree with the above. Have DH open the wrapped stuff and you open the bags. I got more bags/boxes than wrapped stuff. And I kno people love watching parents open gifts, I know I gift not just for the parents/baby but for the people watching as well - I do a lot of personal/handmade stuff. And don't worry about the thank yous before the shower. We didn't have favors - we had really good game prizes so no one really cared that I know of. And there were a ton of prizes so many people got them. But do thank yous after. Normally people say 1-2 weeks but I know I didn't send mine out til a month later and no one said anything, they let me know they were received. With how close you are to your due date, no one will care if you wait til after baby is due. Just write some while baby naps and get them out when you can

NYTino24

Yeah, I was thinking it was tacky to do before, but I know I can get some the ones from online or that were mailed done early so I can spread them out and then mailed after the shower. I told DH I need his help with it and he complained about his messy handwriting, but he's gonna have to suck it up... because for a lot of women, carpal tunnel persists for months after birth and can get even worse.

NYTino24

PS miss you around here, @kissthesky32! Hope all is well.

mymulligan

@NYTino24 I think you need to choose one or the other and it really depends on your guests and how traditional they are. I've been too smaller showers with only women in our stage of life (busy, young kids/babies etc) and the hostess will make an announcement at gift time that one of the "gifts" to the mama to be is that she does not need to write TYs for the gifts received that day and we all nod in agreement. But to not open gifts and not offer a personalized TY would probably be received as offensive to many.

i would suggest writing a personalized TY note on the holiday card/birth announcement. 

I like the suggestion of having DH help open the gifts. 

littlemissc17

I like @mymulligan ‘s suggestion. I’ll admit that I’m really non-traditional and wouldn’t even notice or care if someone didn’t send out thank yous, so I may not be the best person to weigh in on this lol

kaitlinliz

Lol I agree. My bff that I threw her shower, I never got a thank you from her. It didn't even occur to me until I was looking for my own thank yous. She said she sent them out to everyone but had mine to hand deliver - her shower was in March, I still don't have it. I don't care it just made me laugh 

NYTino24

I would never not give thank yous. That's just wrong. 

DungeonTrollMel

My shower yesterday was amazing. My SIL could put Pinterest to shame with decorations. My best friend got the invitation recreated on the cake and it was beautiful. We played a few games. They had a camera for take Polaroid type photos and put into an album with advice from everyone that I can keep as a scrap book with all the cards. It was such a cool idea. We had maybe 15 people so smaller than originally expected but it was perfect 

DungeonTrollMel

LoveDontCostAThing

Hey, I agree that writing thank-you notes is a must!!!  I also have carpal tunnel, so it will be a pain, but I will write them slowly, like a few a day or take breaks.  At the past couple of showers I've been to, there were envelopes on the tables that the guests had to pre-address.  So, I wrote my own address for my thank-you card.  Do you ladies think that's tacky?  It was at the past two showers I went to, so it must be some new trend.  My shower is in a week, and I want to do it because it will save some writing!  Thoughts?

DungeonTrollMel

@LoveDontCostAThing we actually talked about that after my shower. We had about 15 people so we didn't have them added their own but most showers i have been to, that's been a thing. I don't think it's tacky 

MaximumEffort

Shower was today, a day off from our anniversary, same weather we had on our wedding day my sister didn't show up, her childish self made a point to post how she is the family disappointment (shes almost 29, give me a break). My coworkers were all working today so we took them cake afterwards. Not as many people as we would have liked to join us but it was a good time. 

foxaírt

I love seeing all the beautiful things you ladies are doing . I don't really get the point of baby showers . It's a growing trend here but it's not the norm. I did go to one of my close family friends (we grew up a bit like cousins) back in Aug she was due 30th sep and had her Lil boy on the 27th. There were games and stuff but nothing awkward or tacky. She's a primary teacher a d had a lot of work friends there so it was a well organised and run event ha ha . 
Was nice to see her and congratulate her and stuff but apart from that I'm not sure I get the whole thing.

Other than an excuse to have cake lol . 
But I really like seeing g all the lovely things your friends and family have done for you 
Some cute decorations and cake themes 

kaitlinliz

@foxaírt that's exactly the point! Celebrate your miracle with friends and family and eat cake

LoveDontCostAThing

@DungeonTrollMel -thank you for your input!  I'm glad you've heard of the trend too.  I bought my thank you notes and a set of pens lol so I will definitely do it!  Saves me a little bit of time and handwriting! haha

NYTino24

Right now we have 60 people coming to our shower, including kids. Gah! It's coed and open bar, so hopefully it will have more of a party / celebration vibe vs traditional baby shower. Trying to set up food / catering this week. 

missrekaeagle

My co-workers hosted a work shower for me today.