I was asking my doctor about the "unsafe" foods and mentioned lunch meat to him when I was pregnant before and he said lunch meat is not good because the sodium and other preservatives, otherwise pretty safe to consume. At the time he told me not to worry too much about caffeine intake because I was young and healthy. I keep meaning to ask him if I am still "young" haha.
@JJMNO1616 my dentist actually filled my one cavity without numbing it my last pregnancy and it wasn't TERRIBLE, if you're up for that it might be an option. However she did say that some patients think having cavities filled is worse than labor, which is crazy in my opinion.
@orangecup Yasss!! I don't follow any of those old eating guidelines. Most of them are for listeria concern and you can get that from so many other places like spinach or cantaloupe. The only rule I follow is no booze. Although I did have a glass of red wine around 6 month mark at Christmas with DS!
@looeeze@kmalls I was just thinking the same thing about the ultrasound thread! Also, it seems like the participation in the ticker change days is low, and I feel like that's one of the main places where you really get to know people. @kindbytealikat I get what you mean about people still getting oriented, but there isn't a lot of stranger danger in offering support to others...
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013 Started TTC August 2016 BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17 BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17 BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18 BFP: 2/27/20
I was asking my doctor about the "unsafe" foods and mentioned lunch meat to him when I was pregnant before and he said lunch meat is not good because the sodium and other preservatives, otherwise pretty safe to consume. At the time he told me not to worry too much about caffeine intake because I was young and healthy. I keep meaning to ask him if I am still "young" haha.
There are lots of other foods that are just as bad, if not worse, nutritionally than lunch meat. Like fast food.
My FFC is lame. I'm scared to announce this pregnancy.
Even though we've ALWAYS said we wanted three kids, my in laws have poo-poo'ed it for years. I can't tell you the amount of lectures we've had that no one can afford more than two children in today's society. We are absolutely fine financially and wouldn't have considered bringing a child into the world we could not provide for. Things are tense with BIL and SIL as they have had one child and then were met with infertility issues and have foregone any more children. When we had our second it really changed the nature of our relationship with them. I'm worried when we announce the third it could create even more of a wedge of tension/resentment.
I know we cannot and should not live our lives for other people, but I can't help but worry about how the announcement of what should be something happy is going to affect my relationship with my entire family in law.
I am glad I can't get flamed for this because everyone is going to think I'm crazy. I was 6 dpo, moved positions carrying my 15 month old son and felt round ligament pain. It is a very dintinctive feeling and this is my fourth pregnancy, so I was pretty sure about what I felt, but still... crazy town. My uterus literally started growing at implantation. This does not bode well for the size I will be at the end of this.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
@BarefootContessa I'm sorry to hear this is something you have to be concerned about. I can understand why you would be nervous but I think the best thing you can do it show confidence in your decision! It's your immediate family, your finances and your choice! It IS something happy regardless of how they choose to respond to it.
@hedgepig I agree with the ticker change thread. I don't participate in them right now because my due date could be off by a day or two (big deal I know) but I've been waiting for my 8 week ultrasound to get a final say and go by that. So I've been trying to keep an open mind maybe why others haven't participated.
As for foods to avoid I've put a couple pictures of a booklet my OB gave me. Obviously everyone follows their own food rules I just thought I would include it just in case it helps anyone.
@hedgepig I am dumb and thought the ticker change thread had to do with actually doing something to your ticker! Just lurked and am looking forward to participating next time mine comes around (tomorrow!). I didn't realize that's where a lot of getting to know you stuff happened - good to know!
@BarefootContessa I feel you on multiple levels! This will be baby 2, but my husband and I have talked extensively about hopefully having a third and my mom thinks it's nuts for financial reasons too. But like you said, you shouldn't live your life for other people and I would also say try not to take any negative reactions personally - they're probably more about other people's personal stuff they have going on than any actual reflection on you and your family, choices, etc.
As for your SIL and BIL that's a much more sensitive and tough issue. I have similar sensitivity worries about when we announce to our LO's godparents. (She has four godparents, who are two married couples we are very close with and who are not family. Long story short, there was no one family wise we felt was safe to take care of LO if something happened to both of us, so we made our closest friends godparents.)
Anyway, one of the couples has been trying for a second child for four years and TW miscarried twins two years ago TW and since then they have had no luck TTC. They have kind of painfully had to accept it may not happen for them. It's really really hard because their daughter desperately wants a sibling and talks about it a lot. The other couple has been TTC since April and haven't gotten pregnant yet and I feel like I jerk for accidentally getting pregnant months ahead of our schedule while they're still trying. (I know logically I shouldn't feel guilty but I do.) Announcing to them should be wonderful because they're our closest friends and godparents to our daughter, but I am afraid it's going to be painful, given the circumstances. I think with a situation like that you just be as sensitive as possible with announcing and, again, don't take any negative or less enthusiastic efforts personally.
I think in both situations, once the baby is here, those who love you will love the baby and be happy for you in their own way/in time. Good luck! Sorry if this was a novel!
FFFC: I'm having a really hard time participating here due to what's going on in the world right now. I can't get excited over a "what have you nicknamed the baby" thread when parts of the US seem to be literally burning and terrorist attacks are happening practically by the hour in Europe. Things like Fit Mom Friday seem trivial in comparison.
@kmalls Weirdly, I have relied on the bump *more* lately as my only (mostly) trivial and fun escape, since facebook, twitter, the news and even the books I've been reading for "fun" are all 100% serious, incredibly important and heartbreaking. For me, I need at least 10% fun in a day to keep me energized to keep fighting for the important, albeit depressing, stuff. But I totally get your POV too!
@bettyvonsomethingstein I am trying the very first written recipe for Coq Au Vin! Sorry I didn't get back to you earlier, but we have family visiting this weekend for the eclipse and it has been non-stop cooking and activities
I have to say that I agree with whoever said that people who are just here to AW are a drag. I also hate people who don't contribute AT ALL other than to poo poo people. I can't tell you how many times someone has come out of the woodwork to shame shame people on some asinine thing, and I'm almost always like "wait...who the hell are you?". We need a tad more contribution to the community than just pissing on people.
Also, @orangecup is absolutely correct. A ton of food guidelines for pregnant women are non-sensical and from like, the 1920s. The USDA has gone a long way to making food safe for everyone. The only thing I avoid is unpasteurized cheese and cream products (not hard. It's actually harder to find non-pastuerized stuff), alcohol, and high mercury fish. That's it.
I mean, isn't "queso" just the Spanish word for "cheese?" I think it's moronic for a list to just say "queso," with no further clarification because that could mean so many things.
TEAM EAT ALL THE QUESO, ALL THE TIME!
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
FFFC: I'm having a really hard time participating here due to what's going on in the world right now. I can't get excited over a "what have you nicknamed the baby" thread when parts of the US seem to be literally burning and terrorist attacks are happening practically by the hour in Europe. Things like Fit Mom Friday seem trivial in comparison.
I'm having a hard time participating in life in general due to what's been going on. My heart hurts in overwhelming ways.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
FFFC: I'm having a really hard time participating here due to what's going on in the world right now. I can't get excited over a "what have you nicknamed the baby" thread when parts of the US seem to be literally burning and terrorist attacks are happening practically by the hour in Europe. Things like Fit Mom Friday seem trivial in comparison.
I'm having a hard time participating in life in general due to what's been going on. My heart hurts in overwhelming ways.
I think it's nice to have a place to go even for a little while to get away from the chaos. I'm definitely not saying ignore it but it's nice to be able to go somewhere to think and focus on something else, something happy.
@kmalls I feel the exact same way. I'm kind of a current events and news junkie but recently it's just been so upsetting. When I should be enjoying nursing and rocking my toddler to sleep, I find myself worrying about the world she's going to grow up in.
Me: 35, Hubbie: 33 Married DH: 2013 DD: Dec 2015 BFP 8/14/17 --> Due 4/27/2018
@kmalls I hope it's not me! Mobile bumping is not for me, but that's where I'm at right now. Womp womp. I try to respond to people, etc, but I feel like on mobile, sometimes I get lost in threads.
Also, @orangecup is absolutely correct. A ton of food guidelines for pregnant women are non-sensical and from like, the 1920s. The USDA has gone a long way to making food safe for everyone. The only thing I avoid is unpasteurized cheese and cream products (not hard. It's actually harder to find non-pastuerized stuff), alcohol, and high mercury fish. That's it.
Yes, ugh. The cheese thing drives me nuts. It is literally illegal to sell or serve unpasteurized cheese and milk in the U.S. so unless you have a dairy next door and your neighbor gives you some cheese they made, it's safe to eat. And the last few major Listeria outbreaks have been from fresh fruits, veggies, and ice cream so the lunch meat/listeria connection is very misleading.
I love all the discussions about queso because queso is AMAZING and now I just want a huge bowl of it before bed.
@BarefootContessa I get what you mean. My sister especially considers her family "upper class" and wouldn't think of having 3 children because financially she has to buy cars and college for her 2 children plus tons of extracurricular activities because that's what she feels she needs to do. Financially things aren't as great for us. But I know we have enough to give another a child a wonderful, safe and loving home. I feel like *knock on wood* we only have so many years to make babies if we want (I'm 35) then I can use the rest of my years to make money to support them. So any one who wants to poo poo on us having a 3rd kid can kiss it! Lol =P sorry rant over.
I guess my thing with raw and under cooked food is it's a risk, albeit small when your not pregnant. Salmonella and E. Coli. I don't want to risk that when I'm pregnant. Which means I pretty much give up steak since I won't eat it not well done and well steak sucks well done. I'll eat lunch meat and cheese though. Just no soft eggs, under done or raw meats.
@fishsticks-n-custard It is scary and disheartening to think of the kind of world we're bringing children into. I try really hard to focus on raising good, kind, and empathetic children who will make a difference and change it. Sound super corny, but it gets me through out of that negative space. Then I think of all the other awesome parents who are doing the same and creating the next generation of good global citizens.
@kindbytealikat I had well done steak this weekend (because I thought how bad can it be?) and it was absolutely disgusting. Maybe it was just the place I got it from (Tender Greens) but it was like eating a hockey puck. I'll def just skip steak this time around like I did last pregnancy. Not worth it!
@courtyowl427 I think of that all the time, especially when I see how young a lot of these Nazis (still horrifying to even type that) are. We desperately need empathetic, brave, kind young people to stand up against hate. Working my hardest to make sure my daughter and this future little one will be kids (and eventually adults) like that.
My confession is that I HATE my in-laws and it brings me joy that my kids have no clue who they are. My oldest is 6.5yrs old and doesn't know his grandparents or that his dad even has 3 friggin sisters! When my MIL found out I was pregnant she said that someone should have stopped me from getting pregnant to which my mother informed her that I didn't get pregnant from a Dildo!
My confession is that I HATE my in-laws and it brings me joy that my kids have no clue who they are. My oldest is 6.5yrs old and doesn't know his grandparents or that his dad even has 3 friggin sisters! When my MIL found out I was pregnant she said that someone should have stopped me from getting pregnant to which my mother informed her that I didn't get pregnant from a Dildo!
I'm right there with you. My FIL is an abusive POS loser, and I go out of my way to limit my kid's exposure to him. I always feel like a horrible person for being glad that he is in really poor health, but his condition keeps him from going out with his family, visiting us, and from having enough energy to verbally abuse people (he told me I was fat when I was in third tri with DD. It's constant with him).
@riversdoctor same here! I was here when I was pregnant with DS in 2011 and it's kind of intimidating getting used to the new vibe around here.
Thirded. This place has changed so much in 6 years. I hope to join in more often than just the gtky threads soon. My life should settle down now that DD started kindergarten and the go go go of summer is over. As for my lack of participation in the ticket change is when I got my BFP I used a generic due date calculator and it gave me April 24th. Then I finally found on the fertility friend app where it told me a more accurate due date based on my opks. I ovulate earlier than the average person, so taking that into consideration it changed my due date. And when I realized it I basically skipped over my ticker change date. Boo.
My FFFC: I think there are a fair amount people on this board who are AWs and not really invested in the "giving" part of building this community.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but I've also noticed that this newer board format (I haven't been on since 2012) doesn't really lend itself to spontaneously connecting with other posters.
For example, I might not go into the questions thread at all because I might not have time to skim through all the posts and respond, but if I see a thread where the topic is clear from the post and it's something I'm curious about, know something about, etc., I'm more likely to read and respond and connect.
So maybe that's my UO/FFFC that actually has nothing to do with your post This newer Bump format feels somewhat rigid and inflexible to me.
@1fish2fishredfish, I have to kind of agree. There's a lot of just responding to the topic without really interacting with each other. I think it'll get better as people start to recognize familiar names of people who regularly participate.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
My FFFC: I think there are a fair amount people on this board who are AWs and not really invested in the "giving" part of building this community.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but I've also noticed that this newer board format (I haven't been on since 2012) doesn't really lend itself to spontaneously connecting with other posters.
For example, I might not go into the questions thread at all because I might not have time to skim through all the posts and respond, but if I see a thread where the topic is clear from the post and it's something I'm curious about, know something about, etc., I'm more likely to read and respond and connect.
So maybe that's my UO/FFFC that actually has nothing to do with your post This newer Bump format feels somewhat rigid and inflexible to me.
@bettyvonsomethingstein w hat would you have people do in a thread like "questions"? To me, responding to a question that you have input on is support in that thread
My least favorite phenomenon is the laundry lists of symptoms in "symptoms". I find that impossible to respond to. We all have multiple symptoms, but if you post about the one that's bugging you and not all of them, then I can maybe summon a sympathetic, personal response
My FFFC: I think there are a fair amount people on this board who are AWs and not really invested in the "giving" part of building this community.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but I've also noticed that this newer board format (I haven't been on since 2012) doesn't really lend itself to spontaneously connecting with other posters.
For example, I might not go into the questions thread at all because I might not have time to skim through all the posts and respond, but if I see a thread where the topic is clear from the post and it's something I'm curious about, know something about, etc., I'm more likely to read and respond and connect.
So maybe that's my UO/FFFC that actually has nothing to do with your post This newer Bump format feels somewhat rigid and inflexible to me.
The thing is, the threads that seem to get the most traction are the ones in which people can AW themselves easily without responding to anyone else. For example, the What Do You Do For A Living thread has three pages of responses, mainly from posters I've never seen contribute anywhere else -- and they're just one sentence descriptions of what they do. Zero interaction with anyone else.
I think if you truly want to connect with other people, you need to go in the threads that might take time to wade through, like the questions and symptoms thread. You have to put in some effort to get anything in return.
@kmalls Agreed. Also the Randoms, Weekly Appointments, STM+, PGAL, Ticker Change and other weekly check in threads. Those are the places where you really get to know people. When there are a dozen individual AW symptom threads then those other threads get lost and the board starts looking like the First Tri board.
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013 Started TTC August 2016 BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17 BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17 BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18 BFP: 2/27/20
My FFFC: I think there are a fair amount people on this board who are AWs and not really invested in the "giving" part of building this community.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but I've also noticed that this newer board format (I haven't been on since 2012) doesn't really lend itself to spontaneously connecting with other posters.
For example, I might not go into the questions thread at all because I might not have time to skim through all the posts and respond, but if I see a thread where the topic is clear from the post and it's something I'm curious about, know something about, etc., I'm more likely to read and respond and connect.
So maybe that's my UO/FFFC that actually has nothing to do with your post This newer Bump format feels somewhat rigid and inflexible to me.
The thing is, the threads that seem to get the most traction are the ones in which people can AW themselves easily without responding to anyone else. For example, the What Do You Do For A Living thread has three pages of responses, mainly from posters I've never seen contribute anywhere else -- and they're just one sentence descriptions of what they do. Zero interaction with anyone else.
I think if you truly want to connect with other people, you need to go in the threads that might take time to wade through, like the questions and symptoms thread. You have to put in some effort to get anything in return.
Yep. Agreed. If you want to connect, you're going to have to wade through the larger posts. And that's a direct function of how these message boards are now structured, for better or worse.
I wish I had more time to wade through the larger posts. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. And, yes, that will correlate with how much I get out of this community. It is what it is. I can stay or I can go. I choose to stay and get/give what I can from it. I just preferred being able to stop in, skim the different thread topics, and jump in and connect when I could. Different strokes for different folks.
@bettyvonsomethingstein w hat would you have people do in a thread like "questions"? To me, responding to a question that you have input on is support in that thread
My least favorite phenomenon is the laundry lists of symptoms in "symptoms". I find that impossible to respond to. We all have multiple symptoms, but if you post about the one that's bugging you and not all of them, then I can maybe summon a sympathetic, personal response
I think we are making the same point, no? Going to the symptoms post and listing your symptoms isn't interacting with anybody. It's just listing your symptoms. In the questions thread, if you're responding to someone's question, that's interaction. It's a lot more interesting when we are conversing and interacting and more conducive to really building a community.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
I just saw that this is has been addressed before I said anything. I'm really not so good at this Bump stuff - I wish all of the replies and quoting nested! I haven't used the Bump since my first baby in 2011-2012. I'm feeling crazy outdated.
My confession: I'm having a hard time getting the hang of the bump again! But it could be that this 3rd baby is sucking out my brains... so there's that.
Im late on responding to this thread--- @Dumbgurl04 joint bank accounts are overrated. Lol. I'm all for having your food buying privacy! We waited forever to get one and then I was the only one putting money in it so we ended up going back to personal accounts and it's way less stressful. We split up the bills and we each have a credit card on the other's account. I wish we had done this since day one!
Totally guilty of AWing sometimes. I think part of it is just having a wild 2 year old running around that I often only have a few mins to check in. And I'm always on mobile and have issues copying and pasting sometimes for ticker changes threads, etc. I lurk and read a lot though. Will try to post more!
My belated FFFC is I'm enjoying having the pregnancy excuse to nap almost every day with DS. I LOVE naps but always feel all this pressure to get stuff done when DS naps. Well f that. DH can do the dishes. Growing a baby is hard work and I need all the naps. Sorry not sorry. (PS DH has been great about it.)
Re: FFFC 8/18
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d9d18" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0" /></a>
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Advice"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d9d19" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
@kindbytealikat I get what you mean about people still getting oriented, but there isn't a lot of stranger danger in offering support to others...
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20
DS-9/2012
DD-7/2015
Even though we've ALWAYS said we wanted three kids, my in laws have poo-poo'ed it for years. I can't tell you the amount of lectures we've had that no one can afford more than two children in today's society. We are absolutely fine financially and wouldn't have considered bringing a child into the world we could not provide for. Things are tense with BIL and SIL as they have had one child and then were met with infertility issues and have foregone any more children. When we had our second it really changed the nature of our relationship with them. I'm worried when we announce the third it could create even more of a wedge of tension/resentment.
I know we cannot and should not live our lives for other people, but I can't help but worry about how the announcement of what should be something happy is going to affect my relationship with my entire family in law.
DS-9/2012
DD-7/2015
As for foods to avoid I've put a couple pictures of a booklet my OB gave me. Obviously everyone follows their own food rules I just thought I would include it just in case it helps anyone.
@BarefootContessa I feel you on multiple levels! This will be baby 2, but my husband and I have talked extensively about hopefully having a third and my mom thinks it's nuts for financial reasons too. But like you said, you shouldn't live your life for other people and I would also say try not to take any negative reactions personally - they're probably more about other people's personal stuff they have going on than any actual reflection on you and your family, choices, etc.
As for your SIL and BIL that's a much more sensitive and tough issue. I have similar sensitivity worries about when we announce to our LO's godparents. (She has four godparents, who are two married couples we are very close with and who are not family. Long story short, there was no one family wise we felt was safe to take care of LO if something happened to both of us, so we made our closest friends godparents.)
Anyway, one of the couples has been trying for a second child for four years and TW miscarried twins two years ago TW and since then they have had no luck TTC. They have kind of painfully had to accept it may not happen for them. It's really really hard because their daughter desperately wants a sibling and talks about it a lot. The other couple has been TTC since April and haven't gotten pregnant yet and I feel like I jerk for accidentally getting pregnant months ahead of our schedule while they're still trying. (I know logically I shouldn't feel guilty but I do.) Announcing to them should be wonderful because they're our closest friends and godparents to our daughter, but I am afraid it's going to be painful, given the circumstances. I think with a situation like that you just be as sensitive as possible with announcing and, again, don't take any negative or less enthusiastic efforts personally.
I think in both situations, once the baby is here, those who love you will love the baby and be happy for you in their own way/in time. Good luck! Sorry if this was a novel!
I have to say that I agree with whoever said that people who are just here to AW are a drag. I also hate people who don't contribute AT ALL other than to poo poo people. I can't tell you how many times someone has come out of the woodwork to shame shame people on some asinine thing, and I'm almost always like "wait...who the hell are you?". We need a tad more contribution to the community than just pissing on people.
TEAM EAT ALL THE QUESO, ALL THE TIME!
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
Married DH: 2013
DD: Dec 2015
BFP 8/14/17 --> Due 4/27/2018
@BarefootContessa I get what you mean. My sister especially considers her family "upper class" and wouldn't think of having 3 children because financially she has to buy cars and college for her 2 children plus tons of extracurricular activities because that's what she feels she needs to do. Financially things aren't as great for us. But I know we have enough to give another a child a wonderful, safe and loving home. I feel like *knock on wood* we only have so many years to make babies if we want (I'm 35) then I can use the rest of my years to make money to support them. So any one who wants to poo poo on us having a 3rd kid can kiss it! Lol =P sorry rant over.
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d9d18" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0" /></a>
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Advice"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d9d19" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
@courtyowl427 I think of that all the time, especially when I see how young a lot of these Nazis (still horrifying to even type that) are. We desperately need empathetic, brave, kind young people to stand up against hate. Working my hardest to make sure my daughter and this future little one will be kids (and eventually adults) like that.
When my MIL found out I was pregnant she said that someone should have stopped me from getting pregnant to which my mother informed her that I didn't get pregnant from a Dildo!
As for my lack of participation in the ticket change is when I got my BFP I used a generic due date calculator and it gave me April 24th. Then I finally found on the fertility friend app where it told me a more accurate due date based on my opks. I ovulate earlier than the average person, so taking that into consideration it changed my due date. And when I realized it I basically skipped over my ticker change date. Boo.
For example, I might not go into the questions thread at all because I might not have time to skim through all the posts and respond, but if I see a thread where the topic is clear from the post and it's something I'm curious about, know something about, etc., I'm more likely to read and respond and connect.
So maybe that's my UO/FFFC that actually has nothing to do with your post
My least favorite phenomenon is the laundry lists of symptoms in "symptoms". I find that impossible to respond to. We all have multiple symptoms, but if you post about the one that's bugging you and not all of them, then I can maybe summon a sympathetic, personal response
I think if you truly want to connect with other people, you need to go in the threads that might take time to wade through, like the questions and symptoms thread. You have to put in some effort to get anything in return.
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20
I wish I had more time to wade through the larger posts. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. And, yes, that will correlate with how much I get out of this community. It is what it is. I can stay or I can go. I choose to stay and get/give what I can from it. I just preferred being able to stop in, skim the different thread topics, and jump in and connect when I could. Different strokes for different folks.
My confession: I'm having a hard time getting the hang of the bump again! But it could be that this 3rd baby is sucking out my brains... so there's that.
Totally guilty of AWing sometimes. I think part of it is just having a wild 2 year old running around that I often only have a few mins to check in. And I'm always on mobile and have issues copying and pasting sometimes for ticker changes threads, etc. I lurk and read a lot though. Will try to post more!
My belated FFFC is I'm enjoying having the pregnancy excuse to nap almost every day with DS. I LOVE naps but always feel all this pressure to get stuff done when DS naps. Well f that. DH can do the dishes. Growing a baby is hard work and I need all the naps. Sorry not sorry. (PS DH has been great about it.)