April 2018 Moms

STM+ Check-in (week of 8/14)

2

Re: STM+ Check-in (week of 8/14)

  • How far along are you? 
    I will be 7 weeks tomorrow

    How old are your other kids? 

    DD is 6, DS is 4.5
    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  
    DS is mad about the baby.  He doesn't like babies according to him they cry all the time.  DD has bipolar disorder and has been a handful lately.
    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
    I think DD will be great with the baby.  She is so excited.  
    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:

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  • @fishsticks-n-custard that's makes sense
    Me: 35 DH: 47

    HX
    DSS: 20
    DSD: 17
    DS: 4(Nov'14)
    MMC:8/17
    MMC: 1/18
    BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19

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  • How far along are you? 6w4d

    How old are your other kids? 
    DS is currently 21 months

    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  I am a little worried about a lot of things - like when to potty train, how will we do daycare for two... The biggest thing I'm worried about is breastfeeding while having a toddler at home. It was such a struggle the first time. My other worry (I'm a worrier) is that I'm in my last year of school, so after this LO is born, I will be changing careers! It's a lot of change.

    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: DS slept in his toddler bed last night! Woo hoo!!!

    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions: I called off work yesterday and took a 2.5 hour nap and feel 5 million times better 

    @kmalls we're planning on having 4 - I always wanted an even number and we both come from larger families. 
    @zombiemom1318 I agree - being pregnant is wayyy harder the second time

  • @bettyvonsomethingstein ditto about the always being pregnant and work anxiety. /sigh. I know my direct supervisor will be extremely supportive and excited, but everyone else? I work in a male dominated industry; I've been the only pregnant and or nursing mom in the past seven years. I KNOW I'm going to get comments this time around even more than I did last time. I'm a lot better about setting boundaries and letting people know I don't appreciate their comments and/or they aren't appropriate to be made, so I'm just hoping I handle the encounters gracefully and put people that do say crap back in their place.

    DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
    DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
    CafeMom Tickers

    Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • cards10cards10 member
    edited August 2017
    cards10 said:
    How far along are you? 4w

    *snip*

    But thankfully DS is pretty chill and a great sleeper (I feel the hateful stares) so I'm not worried about that part of it yet. 
    Apparently yesterday was Tuesday, not Wednesday. I went almost the whole day thinking it was Wed

    So that makes me 4w today!

    And I knew I was jinxing myself by saying DS was a great sleeper... for the first time in literally like 8 months he woke up screaming uncontrollably  :s 
    If you crave this sort of torture, details in spoiler:


    Thankfully it was 5am and I usually wake up at 5:20 so it wasn't terrible timing. But I just felt so bad bc he could not tell me what was wrong. DS used to have night terrors when he was really little but he was more responsive than those, no ear drainage (he has tubes for history of ear infections), no fever, no diaper rash (he ate a lot of pineapple yesterday that had me worried), didn't drop his bear out of his crib, had some milk, didn't want books, nothing would stop it. We thought it must be teeth, even though his others weren't this bad) and gave him some Tylenol. Finally DH sat him down to watch Chuggington on Netflix as a last resort and he was distracted enough to calm down. Geez! Daycare has already said he seems unlike himself today and took a 30 min nap. Hope that was all he needed. 
    I guess maybe he doesn't want a sibling? Haha. Momma needs a drink... oh wait :(
  • cards10cards10 member
    edited August 2017
    @peppersmith22 I'm worried about BF'ing too. I had hoped to do it with DS but we just could not figure it out. There was so much crying... from DS too ;) so I ended up exclusively pumping for about 6 months. It was so time consuming and exhausting. I'm hoping for better luck this time around! What was the hardest part for you?

    What are you in school for?

    And yay for a great nap and YS sleeping in his toddler bed!!! My DS is about the same age. What made you switch? I have no idea what to look for. He hasn't tried to climb out or anything yet.
  • @cards10 Everytime I would go to nurse him he'd scream. Like he'd latch for a little and then scream. I got the shields and that sometimes helped. I didn't have enough supply and he lost weight and we were dragging him to the doctor's office every other day for a week for weight checks. We ended up supplementing and pump feeding but for only 6 weeks :/ I really want to do better this time. I had such guilt! 

    I'm in school to be a registered dietitian! 

    We got a toddler bed for $35 at a yard sale because he climbed out of his crib 2 times. That was a few weeks ago, and he stopped climbing out of bed so we didn't switch him over. We put the todder bed in his room next to the crib, and last night he asked to sleep in it!
  • @peppersmith22 nodding my head to everything you just said. I think you're describing DS and I during the first couple weeks. Those daily weight checks were tough enough then, but now we'll have a toddler to bring with us too. Yes, it's difficult but you should feel no guilt! You did what you could and that's great. We're lucky we have alternatives when things don't work out as planned. FX #2 is easier for us all!

    @fishsticks-n-custard awwww YH!!! So sweet :)
  • @peppersmith22 Oh we could be the same person. There were lots of tears for us too. I think it'll be easier this time because I won't have the irrational pressure on myself to exclusively breastfeed. DD had some formula supplementation until she started taking solids well and she's a happy, smart, wiggly toddler who still loves to nurse at 19 months. 

    Me: 35, Hubbie: 33
    Married DH: 2013
    DD: Dec 2015
    BFP 8/14/17 --> Due 4/27/2018

    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker

  • On the breastfeeding topic, I struggled like woah with DS. I had a perfect storm of a weak suck/lazy nurser, delayed milk coming in, and FTM-ness. We supplemented, pumped, and nursed constantly, stressing for six solid months about supply. Finally around six months I was at a point where I was making enough to send only BM to daycare, no formula needed but it was the worst, longest, most anxiety inducing struggle (the pressure we put on ourselves right?!?).

    With DD? Breastfeeding was SO MUCH EASIER. I think it has to do with a variety of things: the refusal to obsess and get anxious like I did the first time, STM breastfeeding understanding/awareness, vaginal birth vice C/S, better suck on DD, and having BF DS until he was 16 months (and the lingering effects that has on the pregnant body, I produced milk my whole pregnancy even though I didn't nurse or pump at all for the last three months). I didn't suddenly turn into a prolific milk cow, but from day one was able to roll with breastfeeding and exclusively BF her (we still had a can of formula on hand JIC, just donated it last week!).

    This all being said, the #1 thing that helped me was refusing to let my anxiety impact baby #2s eating habits. We were prepared with formula in the event that we needed it and figured I'd give BFing a go and just follow her cues.

    I've never experienced true latch issues with my kids and I hope I get as lucky with my third so we can have the same BFing relationship I have (had) with my first two.

    DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
    DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
    CafeMom Tickers

    Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @ladythrice all the props getting through a tough BF with #1. Thanks for sharing your story! Gives me hope for #2! 
  • @maureenmce There's a wonderful support group on facebook for women with low milk supply. I found it so reassuring to be around women who struggled as well. Makes you feel less alone. Here's a link to the screening group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/IGTSG/

    Me: 35, Hubbie: 33
    Married DH: 2013
    DD: Dec 2015
    BFP 8/14/17 --> Due 4/27/2018

    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker

  • @fishsticks-n-custard  That's awesome, thank you!  I definitely felt very alone last time around.
  • @ladythrice , your picture melts my heart. I love it! I can't wait to really be showing a get some great shots. 

    @cards10, thank you for your encouraging words! I really appreciate them. 
  • How far along are you? 5 weeks, 3 days (according to my cycle)

    How old are your other kids? 1 year 5 months tomorrow.


    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  Just wondering how I am going to stay sane with two little ones.

    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : My two miracles will be close in age.

    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions: Trying to find a better job while pregnant. Anyone gone through that?
  • Hi everyone! I'm 6w4d along with #2. Doctors appointment is the 25th and I'm anxious to have it confirmed!

    My DD is 2 years old.

    challenges/concerns: I worry about DD feeling as much love from me when I won't be able to spend as much 1:1 time with her! She's a snuggle bug and I hope we'll find a good way to show her how important she is to us after baby is here. 

    Joys/successes/Happy thoughts: DD is sweet and always wants to help, that will be a beautiful thing. And DH is super supportive, allowing me space when I'm cranky and helping me avoid eating too many of the salty things I'm craving! 

    Rants/raves/questions:  I have it in my head (and in my dreams) that there are two babies in there.....I don't know what my question is. Just putting it out there! 
  • @maureenmce whoa you definitely went through some struggs with your first. But it sounds like you know what you're getting into this time and have a great goal and plan for if it doesn't work out as expected. That's great! I guess that's the difference btw FTM and STM+ :)
  • @maureenmce I totally relate to your breastfeeding issues. When DS was born I thought we'd have a magical nursing journey that would last at least a year! But he struggled to gain weight, I struggled to produce, and felt like a total failure. I did all the research, ate all the lactation cookies, everything but nothing helped. We supplemented and by 6 months we're at mostly formula anyway so I stopped nursing. Not sure what I could do different this time, but I'm willing to try. The difference is this time I know it will be ok if this baby gets formula. Fed is best! We can do it.

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  • ngolimentongolimento member
    edited August 2017
    @courtyowl427 I think hospitals could do MUCH better at supporting BFing for new moms.  I got shamed by our consultant within hours of my DDs birth, and it made me feel so horrible.  My DD was born at a huge size, and had the appetite of a month old baby, and had low sugar levels.  Colostrum wasn't covering her needs, so we supplimented.  The consultant found me doing it, and immediately went on and on about how I would confuse her and sabotage our BFing relationship.  I was in tears after she left.

    I always kinda wished I could find that shriveled heartless bat and brag about my supplimented baby going on to have a successful BFing relationship with me.  Her can shove her shaming session.
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  • that's awful @ngolimento the few LC's I have met seem to shame if you mention the word formula at all.  I wish you could see that heartless person again and shove it in her face. 

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  • How far along are you? 7.5 weeks
    How old are your other kids? Youngest is 3.5 and oldest is 6
    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? Right now we are able to do man to man coverage. I'm a little nervous about being out numbered!
    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: My H and I thought we were done after two, but then decided one more. I'm excited that my oldest will remember this time and to experience it with my girls. Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:
  • How far along are you? Not quite 6 weeks.

    How old are your other kids? 
    My son is 8 and my daughter is 6.

    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  I'm still freaking out a bit about having a third.  This one will be a lot younger than my other two.  I haven't been in "baby mode" for 5 years or so.  There are so many new products and things I don't even know about.

    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : On the flipside, I am so excited.  We are in such a different place now financially, emotionally, etc.  I feel like I might really get to enjoy this pregnancy and newborn stage b/c there won't be as much to worry about.

    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:  I am freaking out about having to work with morning sickness.  I am a 5th grade teacher and it could get interesting.  I wasn't working last time I was pregnant.
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  • @fancybelmontI have to other children. My oldest is 6 and youngest is 3.5. While I've only been out of the game a few years, it does feel totally different this time
  • that's awful @ngolimento the few LC's I have met seem to shame if you mention the word formula at all.  I wish you could see that heartless person again and shove it in her face. 
    Thankfully, not all LCs are that way. I worked with one after DD was born who so was amazingly supportive. We did a weighed feeding and saw that DD was only taking in about half an oz. and she was very supportive of me supplementing with formula until I was able to get my supply up. She helped me come up with a game plan and constantly reminded me that I was a good mother, even though I felt like a failure. I plan to do a prenatal consult with her later in my pregnancy so hopefully I can avoid some of the challages I had with DD.

  • courtyowl427courtyowl427 member
    edited August 2017
    @ngolimento I had a crappy experience in the hospital too. Asked for LC to be paged after having latching issue and she came in 2 hours later. Both baby and I are crying and she said something snarky about trying to hard and him feeling my emotions. I wanted to punch her. The LC's at my Peds office were much more helpful and really tried to help and make me comfortable with supplementing. This time I will advocate for myself and baby because I know what's best for us!

    ETA: fat pregnancy fingers

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  • @cards10  Yes, I am so glad I'll have the perspective of a STM this time.  I think that'll make things easier, even if there are struggles/emotions, etc.

    @courtyowl427 Oh gosh, the lactation cookies!  I must've had a million.  And oatmeal soaked in water, fenugreek, eeeeeverything. Nothing helped!

    @Dumbgurl04 Thanks for the support!  :)  A formula feeding check in would be awesome!  

    @ngolimento I am so sorry about your experience with the LC.  I have such a bad taste in my mouth after my experiences with LC's last time, I am honestly dreading the next encounter, though I'm trying to get over it. 
  • that's awful @ngolimento the few LC's I have met seem to shame if you mention the word formula at all.  I wish you could see that heartless person again and shove it in her face. 
    Thankfully, not all LCs are that way. I worked with one after DD was born who so was amazingly supportive. We did a weighed feeding and saw that DD was only taking in about half an oz. and she was very supportive of me supplementing with formula until I was able to get my supply up. She helped me come up with a game plan and constantly reminded me that I was a good mother, even though I felt like a failure. I plan to do a prenatal consult with her later in my pregnancy so hopefully I can avoid some of the challages I had with DD.

    That's good @jilliant26 the 3 LC's I have met were beyond rude.  Two of them were to my BFF when she was in the hospital with her DD and one was at a baby expo.  That's great you had one that understands sometimes supplementing is an option.  

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  • I actually did end up finding a good LC when my kiddo was 3 months old, and showing signs of dairy intolerance.  But they do seem hard to find.  A lot that I've run into have a seriously bad attitude.
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  • How far along are you? 3 weeks 5 days

    How old are your other kids?  3 year old son


    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?    Nothing at the moment, but I am sure something will come up

    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM :   I am really happy that my son will have a sibling to play with.  They are a bit further apart then I had planned, but hopefully since he will be 4 when this baby is born, he will be able to help me some :-)  He loves babies

    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:  I am by myself in the office this afternoon, which is nice.  But I am also super tired lately and just want to take a nap.  No one would know right?
  • This thread is a weekly check in for those expecting their second -- or more! -- child. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any time if you have a question or need to vent about the challenges of having children at home while pregnant. 

    How far along are you? 5 weeks

    How old are your other kids? 
    17 weeks

    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  I feel great!  But dang I feel super bloated and feel like I look 8-12 weeks instead of 5. 

    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : I'm so excited to expand my family!  We have lots of fun projects to do to get ready for Baby #2. 

    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:anyone else feel like they are showing earlier than last time?
    Ashley Gillis
    Alice - 3/19/16
    Baby #2 - 4/22/18 (?)

    Get more of me at Hampton Roads Moms.  
  • Gillis2 said:
    This thread is a weekly check in for those expecting their second -- or more! -- child. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any time if you have a question or need to vent about the challenges of having children at home while pregnant. 

    How far along are you? 5 weeks

    How old are your other kids? 
    17 weeks

    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  I feel great!  But dang I feel super bloated and feel like I look 8-12 weeks instead of 5. 

    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : I'm so excited to expand my family!  We have lots of fun projects to do to get ready for Baby #2. 

    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:anyone else feel like they are showing earlier than last time?
    17 weeks or months?
    Me: 35 DH: 47

    HX
    DSS: 20
    DSD: 17
    DS: 4(Nov'14)
    MMC:8/17
    MMC: 1/18
    BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19

    Tickers
    BabyGaga
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker


  • How far along are you? 
    5ish weeks
    How old are your other kids? 

    6 and 4.5 
    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  
    Still in the shocked stage after finding out today. I know this is going to be great for all our children. 
    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
    cautiously excited! 

    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:
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  • @gillis2, I feel your pain about the bloat.  My first 2 pregnancies we're super close together, and patients at my office were comfortable enough to ask when I was due....when I was 13ish weeks.
  • How far along are you? 
    I am almost 7 weeks!

    How old are your other kids? 
    2.5 and just turned 5

    Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?  
    I'm worried about being out numbered! And finances some. Oh and telling my family because my parents seemed shocked and my dad went on and on about how expensive 3 kids are and how old/tired he feels. Its like great.....

    Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM : 
    I just love the idea of my family being complete. I really wanted 3 kids and I'm one of 3 so excited for this to be my last. 

    Rants/Raves/Randoms/Questions:

    I'm just nervous in general! I'm so tired and I feel bad for my 2nd cause she barely gets alone time with me now. Then in April there will be a newborn and I just don't want her to have "middle child syndrome" I keep reading about. My husband says I read too much stuff that causes anxiety lol.
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