@becausescience omg I'm so glad I'm not alone, I thought I was the only one whose pregnancy symptom was 'couldn't do the dishes because even looking at dirty dishes makes me want to throw up!' I'm sure my husband thought I was lying this whole time just to get out of doing them!
@HappyMonkey817 I am also in a funk. We just moved and I have no energy to organize and put away things so the house is a disaster and I feel like other people are doing fun things with their kids this summer but I'm just trying to survive with my 2 yr old DD while my husband works weird hours, I feel like crap and I'm not fitting into my clothes anymore god I sound whiny
@crossfitbabybump similar thing happened to me with my son. My husband's brother's girlfriend (who he had only been with a few months) got pregnant at the exact same time as me. Literally - we had the same due date. The babies ended up being a week apart. She went first (of course). She had a girl. I had a boy. They were very different in their pregnancy and told like everyone at 8 weeks. We tried to keep ours quiet and my FIL accidentally outed us to my husband's best friend. I'm glad you are happy for your sister in law. I have found having kids so close to be very difficult. We are literally just different in every possible way when it comes to parenting and it makes it hard. She is also an oversharer and texts me constantly and I just find it obnoxious. Hopefully you are closer to your sil and have a better experience than me. Also - that sucks that your MiL couldn't keep her trap shut. Glad you had the chance to tell her how you feel.
My rants: morning sickness. Didn't have it with my first pregnancy and I feel like this is payback. I didn't eat all day and finally got a smoothie sounded good... So I pack DS in the car and head to a local place like. Drink the smoothie while driving around cause DS finally fell asleep in the car. Start feeling queasy... Come home... Bye bye smoothie. Ugh. 2nd 20 month DS didn't get his crib nap today because he very traumaticly got his leg stuck between the crib rails while I was in the shower. I thought we were going to have to cut the rails... But luckily a little lotion and me and DH working together got him free. 3rd rant... I'm a teacher and I go back to work next week. I have to set up my entire classroom because at the end of the year I took everything down because principal said I would be moving classrooms... Now apparently I'm staying put... So I have to set up the whoooole thing while feeling like crap.. While noone knows why... I don't won't to tell coworkers till Octoberish.... Ugh. End rant. Lol
@tracyjean22 - actually I'm not close with my SIL at all, lol.(I wish we were but...?) So I won't have to worry about her texting me! She's never liked me and that's okay. I don't need her approval. I just choose to be the bigger person because being angry and hateful towards her all the time got in the way of me enjoying my life. Plus, she lives in New Jersey and we in Minnesota so we're at least 20 hours apart! I just don't want to subject my child to favoritism with my DH mom.. and I see it now. So I'm just mentally preparing myself for it. It's not my SIL fault my MIL is that way and I have learned to stop blaming her. I am ecstatic they are pregnant because I know they've been trying. I just feel bad for my DH because I know he wants his mom here for his first baby, too. But I told him gently yesterday not to get his hopes up, because that's how we end up getting hurt in the first place
@crossfitbabybump that stinks that favorites would even come into play. Does mil live closer to them or you? In our situation we are all in the same small town... So even though I don't really want to be close to her I don't have much of a choice. Certain things just make it hard. DS goes to daycare full time. But they have the grandparents watch their daughter a lot. They get more time with her because of that... And then they do things the same way with my son and it gets frustrating. Like... I have schedules - naps, bedtime, etc... And they don't follow any consistent schedule. I try to get my son to eat healthy... They feed their daughter everything under the sun. Sometimes I think everyone in the family thinks I'm too rigid... But in all honesty... My son is a much happier well behaved kid... So I must be doing something right! In laws in general are just difficult. I'm glad we are all near each other... But sometimes I get so annoyed... Especially with these current pregnancy hormones! Haha
@tracyjean22 - MIL lives in Pennsylvania so she's about 6-7 hours from SIL and 13 from us. We moved closer to my parents in MN to get away from my IL's because they were trying to control everything we did, even after we got married - from finances to when we were going to start our own family. I couldn't take it anymore and it was actually my DH's idea to move closer to my parents, he couldn't even take it. There are days I wish we lived closer, like now. I want them to be apart of all of this, but I hate it when we get treated differently. And oh lordy, I can only imagine how much different our kids will be compared to my SIL. And thank God for that. lol
@triplejplus1 I would be pissed if my MIL (or anyone for that matter) put my news on social media when it clearly wasn't already there. What a rookie move, if that, and how frustrating!! I'm sorry!!!!
My MBF is my mother. From the moment my first was born I've made it clear we don't want FB to be flooded with pictures. We set up a private family iCloud album that we share pictures. If we post one on FB, it can be shared. She couldn't get it through her head. She constantly was posting pictures from the private album and pushed back when I would ask her to stop. We are pretty private. I mean, since R has been born we've probably posted less than 10 pictures. This Sunday we had R's baptism and today she asked if she could post one picture. I said sure....next thing I know she posted 10 pictures. SO ANNOYED. I don't get why it's so hard for her to respect our wishes.
@Racso12 We are the same way with pics of DD on FB/other social media. And we went through the same thing with my SIL at Christmas -she posted like 15 pictures to Instagram. I made DH have that conversation and she was not pleased. Good luck.
Me: 30 H: 30 Dx: PCOS Married: June 2013 TTC#1: January 2015 BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16 TTC#2: June 2017 BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
My MBF is about maternity clothes selection. I tried going to Target, Motherhood, and Old Navy over the weekend to find something work appropriate. With DD, I could wear whatever I wanted but now I have a government office job so dress code is business casual at a minimum. I couldn't find anything at all! I'm not stupid and I know it'll be harder for me to find something because I'm plus size to begin with, that's why I'm looking so early- but seriously?!? What tiny selection there was for us plus size moms to be, if there was any at all, was just camis and denim (both off limits at my job). I try not to online shop too much because I'll order something, wait the 2-4 weeks to get it and end up disappointed and back at square one when it doesn't fit.
My MBF is my daughters ears. She's 2 years old and on her 19th ear infection. She had tubes put in last September. One fell out in June. Since then, she's had 3 ear infections and an eardrum rupture. Currently, despite being on antibiotics, her ear is leaking gunk and smells awful. We've got an ent appointment next week. They are going to put tubes in again and I'm hoping they schedule the surgery sooner rather than later once they see how bad they are because I don't know how long this can keep going on! I'm at my wits end.
@tirola have you tried a chiropractor? Sometimes that can help with ear infections. My nephew had them all the time and started getting adjusted and they went away.
My MBF is not wanting to eat at night and feeling sick doing so, but if I don't by blood sugar is too high in the morning.
@meghanjodino try consignment shops or thrift stores in your area. I'm plus sized as well and had a hard time finding maternity clothes, but I found some amazing steals secondhand.
It looks like some brands do have maternity petites. Not sure how much selection but: The Loft Kohl's Motherhood Old Navy
They may not all carry it in store but so many times you can have it shipped to the store and return anything that doesn't work while you're right there.
Old Navy online has "shop by trimester"! Score.
That's a really cool idea. I wish I could shop there because they have nice stuff, but I saw some Old Navy stuff being made in a sweatshop when I did volunteer work in Haiti.
Oh no. That's a problem. I kinda wonder if any clothes in the US are not made in sweat shops. But if I know for sure they are, I have to avoid.
It looks like some brands do have maternity petites. Not sure how much selection but: The Loft Kohl's Motherhood Old Navy
They may not all carry it in store but so many times you can have it shipped to the store and return anything that doesn't work while you're right there.
Old Navy online has "shop by trimester"! Score.
That's a really cool idea. I wish I could shop there because they have nice stuff, but I saw some Old Navy stuff being made in a sweatshop when I did volunteer work in Haiti.
Oh no. That's a problem. I kinda wonder if any clothes in the US are not made in sweat shops. But if I know for sure they are, I have to avoid.
Would love to hear more about your work in Haiti.
I used to go to Haiti and the Dominican Republic every summer. We had a group of teachers from all over the US, and helped build a school and a library. We also collected and distributed supplies to mobile health clinics, and visited an orphanage for kids who have AIDS.
@rasco12@becausescience I'm super worried about my sister doing what your MILs do... she posts lots of pics constantly and some IMO dangerous pics (like publicly posts pics of her kids standing outside their elementary school with the name of the school clearly visible to potential predators). She has posted pics of me which I specifically asked her not to (like pics where she looks awesome and I'm making an accidental weird face). I'm not OK with any of it and I'm worried she's going to post pics of my kids without asking and now that I'm not on facebook I'm worried I won't even know they were posted and not be able to make sure they're gone... still figuring out how to deal with this.
Ok so I know it's not Monday but I have a few things to get off my chest.....
First of all is I'M TIRED ALL THE TIME-this is my third and I DO NOT remember being this tired the last 2 times! I was so tired I took my dinner into bed with me last night after I got the kids to bed and fell asleep with the dinner on the bed before I could take a bite. Unfortunately this isn't the first time this has happened....
Second - I've found that if I eat too much dairy, that's when I seem to not feel well (so sorry to all you other ladies that aren't feeling well all the time!) so I can eat cereal and drink a small glass of milk but if I eat too much of something like ice cream its game over for me. I hope this goes away because my OB's office is right by a DQ and I like to get a blizzard after every appointment...
And finally third - this is a current annoyance and also a future worry all rolled into one - when we had DD (oldest) MIL went NUTS buying her all kinds of clothing, literally showing up with 5-10 new outfits A WEEK! While we appreciated her generosity, we nicely told her (multiple times) that she can only wear one outfit at once and she's growing so fast that we had a lot of clothing that was never worn. MIL wanted a daughter and had 2 sons so when she could finally buy for a girl she went crazy even when we asked her to stop. Then when we had DS I asked DH if she was going to be the same way towards him or not because he was a boy. Well we got our answer in the fact that continually MIL will bring over stuff for DD and not DS. Now I don't want people to think I'm materialistic because I'm not, she doesn't have to bring over anything for either child and we would be perfectly happy, but if you're going to bring over something for one, do the same for the other. This has actually caused a big rift between us and them to the fact where we didn't speak with them for over a year. They are all very stubborn and missed DS's birth (different issue) and then missed his first birthday and all kind of milestones for him. Besides that rant I'm also concerned that if my next child is a girl (Chinese gender chart says it is but who knows) that my inlaws will just ignore DS as the middle child and only boy.
TL:DR - always tired, dairy makes me sick, MIL problems
I can understand how you must feel. It was unfair, nevertheless the woman is clearly torn between her loyalties and her excitement at being a grandparent. For your own peace of mind I would advice you to ignore this drama and concentrate on the miracle that's growing inside you. Be the bigger person now and choose your battles. Your peace is the babies too.
@meghanjodino I know that there are some plus size moms groups on Facebook. You might see if any of them know of the best places to get office appropriate maternity wear. How do you feel about dresses? That might work for a while?
As far as pictures on the internet go, in the age of face recognition, I'm against having pictures of their faces posted. Once they're older, they can decide for themselves. I think that one of the problems, especially with our parents but obviously for our peers as well, is that they don't realize how Facebook works and they are gloriously guileless. People think, "Why would I worry about posting that I'm going on vacation? None of my friends would rob me." or "Why would I worry about posting a picture of my kid with the school they go to? All of my friends are safe." What they don't realize is that all it takes is for their great friend Carla to like their picture or to comment on it for Carla's hella-sketchy cousin Margaret to see it. They don't realize that people legit steal pictures off of Facebook to use in advertising and catfishing. They don't realize that anything that is posted has the potential to end up anywhere. Once it's on the internet, it is out of your control. As for stopping it, I think it's completely fair to say, one time, when you're not fired up and you're just taking care of business, "We want our kids to be able to make their own choices about their internet presence when they are mature enough to do so. As such, we ask that you please don't post pictures to Facebook. I'm sorry. I know that you love to show your niece/nephew/grandkids off but we respectfully ask that you only show people pictures in person." Then, if they violate that, they just plain don't get to take pictures, don't get to access them, whatever. I know my MIL is going to be pissed about it and she has definite boundary issues but oh well.
And while we're on the topic, what is with people who post their kids' full names and birthdates for all of the world to see? Holy crap. Why don't you just throw their SSN in for good measure?
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
To all the mamas worried about family members posting unwanted pics of your children - that is illegal. If someone posts a picture and doesn't take it down upon request, you can report the picture and Facebook will take it down for you. I believe there's an option to pick that states it's a picture of your child that you don't want on the internet.
EDIT: okay I just went on FB so I could try it and make sure I could tell you how to do it. So you go to report the photo (either by hitting report photo or sometimes it says "I don't like this photo" instead of report) and then you pick the "I don't think this should be on FB option" and then there's an option that it's a picture of you or a family member.
@kiki75 I totally agree. I try not to judge other parents for posting the pics, but I don't want a single pic of our kids on Facebook/Instagram etc. and neither does MH. I plan to do a private cloud or photo bucket type thing.
Re: Monday Bitchfest 8/14
@HappyMonkey817 I am also in a funk. We just moved and I have no energy to organize and put away things so the house is a disaster and I feel like other people are doing fun things with their kids this summer but I'm just trying to survive with my 2 yr old DD while my husband works weird hours, I feel like crap and I'm not fitting into my clothes anymore
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
My MBF is not wanting to eat at night and feeling sick doing so, but if I don't by blood sugar is too high in the morning.
Would love to hear more about your work in Haiti.
@rasco12 @becausescience I'm super worried about my sister doing what your MILs do... she posts lots of pics constantly and some IMO dangerous pics (like publicly posts pics of her kids standing outside their elementary school with the name of the school clearly visible to potential predators). She has posted pics of me which I specifically asked her not to (like pics where she looks awesome and I'm making an accidental weird face). I'm not OK with any of it and I'm worried she's going to post pics of my kids without asking and now that I'm not on facebook I'm worried I won't even know they were posted and not be able to make sure they're gone... still figuring out how to deal with this.
Ok so I know it's not Monday but I have a few things to get off my chest.....
First of all is I'M TIRED ALL THE TIME-this is my third and I DO NOT remember being this tired the last 2 times! I was so tired I took my dinner into bed with me last night after I got the kids to bed and fell asleep with the dinner on the bed before I could take a bite. Unfortunately this isn't the first time this has happened....
Second - I've found that if I eat too much dairy, that's when I seem to not feel well (so sorry to all you other ladies that aren't feeling well all the time!) so I can eat cereal and drink a small glass of milk but if I eat too much of something like ice cream its game over for me. I hope this goes away because my OB's office is right by a DQ and I like to get a blizzard after every appointment...
And finally third - this is a current annoyance and also a future worry all rolled into one - when we had DD (oldest) MIL went NUTS buying her all kinds of clothing, literally showing up with 5-10 new outfits A WEEK! While we appreciated her generosity, we nicely told her (multiple times) that she can only wear one outfit at once and she's growing so fast that we had a lot of clothing that was never worn. MIL wanted a daughter and had 2 sons so when she could finally buy for a girl she went crazy even when we asked her to stop. Then when we had DS I asked DH if she was going to be the same way towards him or not because he was a boy. Well we got our answer in the fact that continually MIL will bring over stuff for DD and not DS. Now I don't want people to think I'm materialistic because I'm not, she doesn't have to bring over anything for either child and we would be perfectly happy, but if you're going to bring over something for one, do the same for the other. This has actually caused a big rift between us and them to the fact where we didn't speak with them for over a year. They are all very stubborn and missed DS's birth (different issue) and then missed his first birthday and all kind of milestones for him. Besides that rant I'm also concerned that if my next child is a girl (Chinese gender chart says it is but who knows) that my inlaws will just ignore DS as the middle child and only boy.
TL:DR - always tired, dairy makes me sick, MIL problems
As far as pictures on the internet go, in the age of face recognition, I'm against having pictures of their faces posted. Once they're older, they can decide for themselves. I think that one of the problems, especially with our parents but obviously for our peers as well, is that they don't realize how Facebook works and they are gloriously guileless. People think, "Why would I worry about posting that I'm going on vacation? None of my friends would rob me." or "Why would I worry about posting a picture of my kid with the school they go to? All of my friends are safe." What they don't realize is that all it takes is for their great friend Carla to like their picture or to comment on it for Carla's hella-sketchy cousin Margaret to see it. They don't realize that people legit steal pictures off of Facebook to use in advertising and catfishing. They don't realize that anything that is posted has the potential to end up anywhere. Once it's on the internet, it is out of your control. As for stopping it, I think it's completely fair to say, one time, when you're not fired up and you're just taking care of business, "We want our kids to be able to make their own choices about their internet presence when they are mature enough to do so. As such, we ask that you please don't post pictures to Facebook. I'm sorry. I know that you love to show your niece/nephew/grandkids off but we respectfully ask that you only show people pictures in person." Then, if they violate that, they just plain don't get to take pictures, don't get to access them, whatever. I know my MIL is going to be pissed about it and she has definite boundary issues but oh well.
And while we're on the topic, what is with people who post their kids' full names and birthdates for all of the world to see? Holy crap. Why don't you just throw their SSN in for good measure?
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
EDIT: okay I just went on FB so I could try it and make sure I could tell you how to do it. So you go to report the photo (either by hitting report photo or sometimes it says "I don't like this photo" instead of report) and then you pick the "I don't think this should be on FB option" and then there's an option that it's a picture of you or a family member.
@ShawnnaO Thank you for the info!