Thanks @jchpg now that it's getting real my anxiety is coming out. I had history of it before loss but it's more so now when I'm presented with change in my life. I've been looking for at least a month so it should not be a surprise to me. I just didn't think it could happen so soon as most of the puppies I find are going for at least $750 or more.
@ELeighMay My 1st MC happened one month before my wedding last year. In a lot of ways being busy with the planning helped me to get through those first couple weeks. It also gave me some perspective on what was really important, thus I stopped giving a crap about some of the details. I found that the day of my wedding I barely even thought about my MC and was able to focus on the joy of the day (the champagne also helped). Hope that you have a beautiful reception and are able to be present in the live and celebration of the moment!
leahcimmichael Thank you! I just had a co-worker ask about how the planning was coming and wanting to know the details. I realized how few details I actually had to share. I haven't been present at all so far, and have really not cared about the event to this point. I'm really disappointed in myself, but I am looking forward to an evening with my amazing DH and celebrating US. It's really easy to get caught up in the sadness and forget about all the amazing things (and people) going on around me. I have my second and final checkup with my OB tomorrow afternoon, so I think once that's over I'll be able to feel like the whole process is finally done and I can move forward with the next phase of whatever is to come.
@vlagrl29 sometimes things come into your life at the right time. Go with your heart on this one. Also, thank you so so much for the vacay recommend! Usually that's what I need to hear is what to splurge on! I will float that one out to dh tonight! @pumpkinandcake You are a strong lady. If it were me I would buy the cakes too. Get after that frosting!
@rosemaryandthyme So cool that you're in the eclipse totality path! I thought about traveling to SC to see it, but I'm an introvert so when I see a crowd going one way, I head the opposite... but to just be able to walk out your front door and look up will be so cool!!!
@jchpg Walking around in the world after MC can be an emotional minefield. You never know when you're going to see a belly or baby that just ruins your mood. It's awful.
@pumpkinpancake Don't hesitate to stop by the store and buy a cake if your heart can't handle baking. You've got to be kind to yourself, too!
@vlagrl29 Oooh!!! I hope one of these puppies works out for you! If you get one, please post pics!!!
AFM 1. Not so new now 2. WTO, should be this weekend... 3. Got a flippin' UTI. Right in my fertile window. That's going to make BD soooo much fun. I feel like my body is telling me "it's not gonna happen, don't even bother." Stupid lady bits!!!! Also (longish story ahead), my mother was adopted as a baby. Never knew her bio family, but on 23 and Me last week I noticed I had a new maternal relative?! Told my mom about it and found out that it is my mother's cousin on her maternal side. Very cool stuff. Unfortunately, part of this revelation is that my biological grandmother AND great-grandmother died in their 40s from ovarian cancer. No idea what this might mean for mean in terms of fertility and possible treatments (there's some research that inducates follicle stimulating treatments can increase ovarian cancer risk). So, I'm super hopeful that I get KU before I have to start making those decisions. 4. Nothing exciting before summer is over. Power-washing and painting the porch. Cause being an adult is glamorous af.
@vlagrl29 YAY PUPPIES!!!! I want all the pictures if you get one! Maybe we should re-start up Furbaby Friday?
@leahcimmichael Ugh. My D&C was 2 weeks before my wedding. When the nurse was like "OK, so follow-up appointment in 2 weeks, so Friday Nov. 6" And i'm like... not happening. I'll be at my wedding rehearsal/rehearsal dinner 6 hours away. But you're right... kept me busy! Unfortunately, we did Wedding, wind down from that, thank you cards, Thanksgiving, honeymoon... and then it was the holidays and I crashed Hardcore!!! I also remember being thankful my dress had a corset back as my OB-GYN told me "the breast swelling should go down between now and 2 weeks from now." I remember thinking... Great... my mom and sister may be sewing me into my dress. But like you said, it made you really focus on the important things in life, and let go of all those details.
@leahcimmichael I also think a TTCAL Con is needed somewhere!
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
@mrschx thanks. I'm just going to pretend I'm baking for something else instead. At least now I can eat the raw cake batter without feeling guilty about being pregnant...?
@vlagrl29 I hope you get one of the puppies! Puppies are the best!!
@pumpkinpancake somehow I got stuck doing a joint baby shower for someone at work a few months after my loss. I was new last year but no one would step up. It was awkward but I was close to the one Co worker. Sorry they put you in that position.
@pumpkinpancake I agree, decline even after you accepted. And if worse comes to worse just buy something and say you felt sick and didn't want to spread the germs or something. Unfortunately I have become very good at lying to evade baby showers.
@geekbeagle I'm rooting for you. Nasty HCGs better go away quickly or I'll kick their asses!
AFM.... So yah, DH's cousin is pregnant with twins and moving to CT a town over from us fun.
I'm finding myself worried about how my current 9 yo dog will handle it. I don't want her feeling jealous. I showed the pics to my mom and she thought they were cute.
@justsuzie tw: living child My first was planned for the beginning of June, ended up coming the last week of school instead. And my hormones actually calmed me to be a heck of a lot nicer to the kids than I normally would be. End tw.
@leahcimmichael I'm a super introvert, too, so you better believe I'm pumped to not have to navigate crowds to see the eclipse! It will start around 1pm where I am, so it'll be right up there high in the sky. There's another one coming to the US in 7 years...maybe you'll be closer or in totality then? Also, sorry about the UTI and its poor timing...that's the WORST!
@justsuzie Buffy is a good obsession to have! I just rewatched the whole thing from start to finish in the Spring. For, I think, the fourth time? Super nerd status. I mentioned earlier that I'm going to DragonCon in a few weeks, and the absolute highlight of our time there is on Saturday evening they're doing the "Buffy Horror Picture Show", where they play "Once More with Feeling" on the big screen while live actors simultaneously act it out on stage in front, all "Rocky Horror Picture Show" style. OMG yes.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
@rosemaryandthyme Buffy Horror Picture Show sounds fabulous!!! Rocky Horror is a bit played out right now, so a Once More with Feeling Sing-a-long might become a new Halloween tradition for me!!!
@vlagrl29 I had a 12 year old dog when I got my Charlie boy (he was 2.5 though). She adjusted fine. Recently we got a puppy and integrated him with Charlie (now 7) and he was mad for a month and then got over it. They play all the time and cuddle every night. We do make sure to give them each their special time.
@justsuzie dh and I talked briefly about it last night more tonight. He wants me to call our vet to see how much and when the next shots would be for puppy. He still swears I'll get pregnant right after we get a puppy. He's crazy! I tell him no it'll probably take forever and he says it'll sper on a huge egg.
@vlagrl29 That's always how it happens. We just dropped 2000+ at Apple last night for a new phone and MacBook to prepare for the new school year and take advantage of my teacher discount!
Hi I'm Tammy I had a miscarriage on Tue Aug 8th. TTC right away. doctors ok'ed it question. What was your cycle like immediately following mc and when did you ovulate. I'm still showing faint positives on tests.
Had my follow up and got the results of the pathology report. It was a girl. I'm not sure if that makes it easier or harder to cope with the loss. My DH was crushed having really been hoping it was a girl. Cause was trisomy 16, so we'll try again.
@ELeighMay Aw, I know that's really hard news to get. It's such a double-edged sword, knowing. On one hand, I imagine it helps a little to know the cause, and that it was just a random case of crappy chromosomal luck and not anything that needs to be fixed or would likely happen again (our loss was from Trisomy 18, and that's how I felt about it), but on the other hand, learning the sex of the baby puts a very human, very real face to "the loss". I was really sad to find out that our baby was a boy, because it made the loss feel so much more "real"...like, this wasn't just any baby...it was my son. I hope that eventually knowing helps you with some sense of closure (not that this process and grief ever really closes, but you know what I mean), but for now just know that whatever feelings you are having about the results are valid and completely understandable.
Thanks ladies! This was my last OB appointment, and with the pathology report the same day I almost feel like I left a funeral today.
@rosemaryandthyme I'm very relieved to know the cause. I needed a reason that I could point a finger at and channel my anger for the situation. You're spot on with learning the gender. That was our daughter. It paints a picture in my head just thinking about her with my crazy curls and my DHs ice blue eyes. It's both a heartbreak and a comfort. The universe really sucks sometimes.
I'm very grateful for you ladies, more than you realize. Thank you.
sprkls8506 Ugh... Sorry. I had a small breakdown just thinking about having to buy another bottle like 6 months ago. I had to send DH to buy them. Now they're on monthly subscription delivery from Amazon... cause I can't even. Super depressing...
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
We got the puppy! A female at 13 weeks old for $350. Mini schnauzer and a sweet little thing! I'll post photos soon. Today I need to find a place where I can get puppy shots for cheaper than our vet cause it's a lot of money for the 12 and 16 week visits. A friend suggested tractor supply co - I was thinking of calling petco to see if they do. We are so in love!
Re: TTCAL Check In Week of 8/14/17
I have my second and final checkup with my OB tomorrow afternoon, so I think once that's over I'll be able to feel like the whole process is finally done and I can move forward with the next phase of whatever is to come.
@pumpkinandcake You are a strong lady. If it were me I would buy the cakes too. Get after that frosting!
@GeekBeagle Wooooo!! Yay for good labs!!!
@rosemaryandthyme So cool that you're in the eclipse totality path! I thought about traveling to SC to see it, but I'm an introvert so when I see a crowd going one way, I head the opposite... but to just be able to walk out your front door and look up will be so cool!!!
@Crystal321 Sorry for your loss.
@jchpg Walking around in the world after MC can be an emotional minefield. You never know when you're going to see a belly or baby that just ruins your mood. It's awful.
@pumpkinpancake Don't hesitate to stop by the store and buy a cake if your heart can't handle baking. You've got to be kind to yourself, too!
@vlagrl29 Oooh!!! I hope one of these puppies works out for you! If you get one, please post pics!!!
AFM
1. Not so new now
2. WTO, should be this weekend...
3. Got a flippin' UTI. Right in my fertile window. That's going to make BD soooo much fun. I feel like my body is telling me "it's not gonna happen, don't even bother." Stupid lady bits!!!!
Also (longish story ahead), my mother was adopted as a baby. Never knew her bio family, but on 23 and Me last week I noticed I had a new maternal relative?! Told my mom about it and found out that it is my mother's cousin on her maternal side. Very cool stuff. Unfortunately, part of this revelation is that my biological grandmother AND great-grandmother died in their 40s from ovarian cancer. No idea what this might mean for mean in terms of fertility and possible treatments (there's some research that inducates follicle stimulating treatments can increase ovarian cancer risk). So, I'm super hopeful that I get KU before I have to start making those decisions.
4. Nothing exciting before summer is over. Power-washing and painting the porch. Cause being an adult is glamorous af.
@leahcimmichael Ugh. My D&C was 2 weeks before my wedding. When the nurse was like "OK, so follow-up appointment in 2 weeks, so Friday Nov. 6" And i'm like... not happening. I'll be at my wedding rehearsal/rehearsal dinner 6 hours away. But you're right... kept me busy! Unfortunately, we did Wedding, wind down from that, thank you cards, Thanksgiving, honeymoon... and then it was the holidays and I crashed Hardcore!!! I also remember being thankful my dress had a corset back as my OB-GYN told me "the breast swelling should go down between now and 2 weeks from now." I remember thinking... Great... my mom and sister may be sewing me into my dress. But like you said, it made you really focus on the important things in life, and let go of all those details.
@leahcimmichael I also think a TTCAL Con is needed somewhere!
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
@vlagrl29 I hope you get one of the puppies! Puppies are the best!!
Sorry they put you in that position.
shri929 I'm in CT. I have a few more precious days of freedom. I wouldn't mind teaching so much if I was KU. I feel like I would be grateful for every little twit that talks back as long as I get my bfp!
@MooFish2364 With there was a "hate it" option under your post about how long you've been here. Ugh, totally rooting for you....
@dpjennifer I know!!! Netflix is weird like that. I broke my leg last year and all I wanted was Buffy. Sadly, no Buffy was had.
@mrschx I am a proud Buffy addict after years in the closet. Bring on the haters.
jchpg that's always tough when you see pregnant ladies or newborns. My OB had me come the last apt of the day so I wouldn't have to see any of that. My therapist also makes sure she schedules me at times where I won't see pregnant women or babies come out of her office before I go in. It just plain sucks right.
@pumpkinpancake I agree, decline even after you accepted. And if worse comes to worse just buy something and say you felt sick and didn't want to spread the germs or something. Unfortunately I have become very good at lying to evade baby showers.
@geekbeagle I'm rooting for you. Nasty HCGs better go away quickly or I'll kick their asses!
AFM....
So yah, DH's cousin is pregnant with twins and moving to CT a town over from us fun.
tw: living child
My first was planned for the beginning of June, ended up coming the last week of school instead. And my hormones actually calmed me to be a heck of a lot nicer to the kids than I normally would be.
End tw.
@justsuzie Buffy is a good obsession to have! I just rewatched the whole thing from start to finish in the Spring. For, I think, the fourth time? Super nerd status. I mentioned earlier that I'm going to DragonCon in a few weeks, and the absolute highlight of our time there is on Saturday evening they're doing the "Buffy Horror Picture Show", where they play "Once More with Feeling" on the big screen while live actors simultaneously act it out on stage in front, all "Rocky Horror Picture Show" style. OMG yes.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
shri929 I teach art to 5-6 graders in an affluent public school.
@"rosemary&thyme" SOOOOOOO jealous. I actually really like the musical. But of course Willow cannot sing for shit. LOL!
I had a miscarriage on Tue Aug 8th.
TTC right away. doctors ok'ed it
question. What was your cycle like immediately following mc and when did you ovulate. I'm still showing faint positives on tests.
@rosemaryandthyme I'm very relieved to know the cause. I needed a reason that I could point a finger at and channel my anger for the situation. You're spot on with learning the gender. That was our daughter. It paints a picture in my head just thinking about her with my crazy curls and my DHs ice blue eyes. It's both a heartbreak and a comfort. The universe really sucks sometimes.
I'm very grateful for you ladies, more than you realize. Thank you.
Super depressing...
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
@@ELeighMay News like that is always tough. So sorry for the pain.