TTCAL Check-in Week of 8/14

petethecat · August 2017

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What recipe is your favorite one to make? Feel free to share, if you want!

petethecat · August 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
MC in April at 5.5 weeks

Status: Benched until after knee surgery this month.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
One of my best friends just started TTC this month. She was texting me yesterday about how she has been getting sore boobs and feeling exhausted, but is getting negative tests. She's not using opks or temping or anything like that, so she isn't sure when she Od. I tried to be encouraging and told her to wait a few days and test again. I love her so much and we've been friends since 4th grade. Still, I can't help but know that I'll be hurt if she gets KU quickly. I would never wish a difficult TTC/pregnancy experience on anyone, of course, and I don't want to have any weird emotions toward her since she has been such a good friend to me. Possibly, I'm getting ahead of myself here, but that's what I'm struggling with. Emotions are complicated sometimes.
Otherwise, I'm just hoping to get my surgery scheduled in the next couple weeks so that we can get through that and get back on the TTC train.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What recipe is your favorite one to make? Feel free to share, if you want!
I always make this healthy muffin recipe. We usually have it for breakfast most weeks. It's super healthy and easy to add in whatever fruit or nuts that you want. I've made it with both bananas and applesauce and it always turns out great. They freeze really well too.
https://brendid.com/healthy-oatmeal-muffins-no-flour-no-sugar-no-oil/

labgrand2012 · August 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
MMC in 2014, MC in June

Status: Waiting for my CH to move to TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
I am just happy that I finally O'd, this first cycle back seems to have taken forever, I am on CD21. Other than that, things have been going well. I do keep having to do a reality check and I am getting so far ahead of myself and planning things around when I would be due if I got KU this cycle. I am enjoying behind hopeful again, but dont want to get hurt again if it takes quite a few months again.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What recipe is your favorite one to make? Feel free to share, if you want!
Our go to is buffalo chicken mac and cheese. My DH makes amazing homemade cheese sauce!

@kbamomma33 I totally know how you are feeling. The girl I sit next to at work is also TTC, and while I know it is not, it almost feels like a race. I too would be a little sad for myself that she got KU so quickly, I think she is on month 2, but still so happy for her.

jhysmath · August 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

August 2016 Blighted ovum diagnosed at 11 weeks.

Status:
Tww, likely will get af in the next two days

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

We have to pack this week to go home from our "summer home" (we inherited FIL house after he passed we currently rent where we teach with hopes of moving here in 5 years) I don't have any motivation to do any of it. I was wicked lazy yesterday and took a nap and watched TV instead.

I got the majority of our wedding gifts packed up into the car though and the laundry is out drying on the line!

Any testing coming up/any recent results?
At 9dpo I got a negative this morning. I usually have a 10 day LP so we'll see what happens.

GTKY: What recipe is your favorite one to make? Feel free to share, if you want!

I love to make homemade pesto and put it on Chiabatta bread with fresh mozzerella and tomatoes from the farmers market.

@kbamomma33 I know how you feel this summer a young colleague dh and I took under our wing "accidentally" impregnated the girl he had been hooking up with who was supposedly on depo. And my cousin who has been abusing drugs for the last 10 or so years is pregnant. It just frustrates me when I've done everything right since I was a teenager and things just don't go the way you thought they would.

pumpkinpancake · August 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

1 MC in July at about 8-9 weeks (still not sure of the exact dating).

Status: Benched until after my first post D&C AF.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Im still struggling with being in limbo while I wait for AF. I just want to be able to get started TTC again. Also, I feel like now that I've had a loss, all I see is pregnant women everywhere. I know they were all there before my MC, but now it's like everywhere I turn, it's all I see.

Despite this, I'm staying positive this week because I got the results of my follow up blood work on Friday, and my HCG dropped from like 67,000 to 1300 already, so I'm glad that it seems to be dropping quickly. Hopefully AF will come soon!

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

GTKY: What recipe is your favorite one to make? Feel free to share, if you want!

I love baking anything, but my classic go to is chocolate chip cookies. They're so easy to make but are so satisfying.

rachelg777 · August 2017

@kbamomma33 I'm sorry about your friend. And I saw your post in randoms. How is that even possible? I'm sure you have very conflicting emotions right now, but I'm glad you got a chance to process her message in private. Hugs to you! Also, I hope you can get your surgery scheduled soon! Keep us updated!

@labgrand2012 congrats on O! Fx for you!

@jhysmath your recipe sounds amazing! Sorry about the bfn, fx for your next test!

@pumpkinpancake I know exactly how you feel. I had a Dr.'s appt today and obviously the waiting room is full of pregnant women, which is always tough. Definitely cried but not in the waiting room so I count it as a win. Im thinking of you lady!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Partial Molar Pregnancy at 11 weeks in June

Status: Benched (but maybe not! See below!)

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Today, things are awesome. I had my initial appointment with my new OB today and he rocked. He did all the things I wish my last doc had done. Aka talk to me about what's going on. Yay! Anyway! I'm bringing him the pathology report of my PMP on Wednesday when I go in for lab work. He says sometimes those are overdiagnosed by the lab to "cover their own butt" and in turn are overly treated as so by MD's when sometimes their is no reason. IF he doesn't think it's a PMP I can be off the bench ummm now! So I have my hopes up for that but trying not to get them too high. Overall though, I am so happy with switching to this practice. He is also going to be working with me to get to the bottom of my irregular periods - finally!

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Hcg and progesterone on Wednesday. Follow up appt next Monday!

GTKY: What recipe is your favorite one to make? Feel free to share, if you want!

I used to make cream cheese cookie bars ALL the time but I haven't made them in forever.

pumpkinpancake · August 2017

@rachelg777 that's great about your new OB! A bad or good dr can make all the difference in how things go.

To add a new rant to my prior post, one of the doctors in my office is 9 months pregnant, and has been having contractions all afternoon. I know it's not her fault and I can't really be mad at her for this, but I wish she wasn't literally sitting on the other side of the wall from me going through this.

labgrand2012 · August 2017

@rachelg777 that is great news! I am so glad you have a doctor that is helping you with everything and actually going to look into this!

jhysmath · August 2017

@rachelg777 yay to finding a doctor you like, it can make all the difference in the care you recieve! Also I Love cream cheese cookie bars, I used to sneak them out of the dining hall in college and I haven't found any that are as good since then.

dragonette505 · August 2017

@kbamomma33ugh.... so hard when someone close is ttcing

@labgrand2012 so glad you're feeling hopeful!!

jhysmath keeping my fingers crossed for you!

@Pumpkinpancake I thought for your your dish was gonna be pancakes!

@rachelg777 omg! Hoping you can get off the bench!!!!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. several losses

Status: TWW - Estrogen Priming for IVF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Just super keyed up waiting for AF so I can start stimming

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I will have BW and US on CD 2 or 3

GTKY: What recipe is your favorite one to make? Feel free to share, if you want! This is a hard one! lol My faves would be any holiday meal (I cant pick one recipe so i'll pick one meal) Roasted goose, homemade stuffing, wild rice with roasted pumpkin seeds, sautéed collard greens, sweet potato pie and cheesecake.

rachelg777 · August 2017

@dragonette505 sounds delicious! Is cooking just a hobby or do it professionally? Hope AF isn't far away!!

dragonette505 · August 2017

rachelg777 said:

@dragonette505 sounds delicious! Is cooking just a hobby or do it professionally? Hope AF isn't far away!!

Just born with a wooden spoon in my hand! Lol
ETA: can't help but add some foooood pics!

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/p7/cvoaqh8dnvgg.png

petethecat · August 2017

@labgrand2012 Yay for ovulation! It's definitely hard to walk that line of hope/excitement. FX for you!

@jhysmath Where is your summer home? Is it on the water somewhere? I don't blame you for having a lazy day. At least you did get some things done though!

@pumpkinpancake I'm so sorry that pregnant ladies are everywhere and it's hitting you hard. I get it. That's such a gut punch feeling. Stay strong and big hugs.

@rachelg777 That's so awesome that you like your new OB. It sounds like you felt heard and that is awesome. FX that you get some good news soon after Wednesday!

pumpkinpancake · August 2017

@dragonette505 I do love pancakes, but they take more time than I'm willing to put in many mornings. I'd eat them any day from a restaurant though!!

jnmiller324 · August 2017

Hi- I am on day 3 of a chemical after 1 cycle of trying. I was 4w 6d. We have a 3yo that was -TW- easy to conceive. Now I am 35 and feel like this time around will be hard.

Status: At first Dr said to wait a cycle and then at the end of convo said we could try right away. What is you experience with this?

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

On Saturday I was an obvious mess. So many ugly cries. Presently I feel almost over it. I just want to move on quickly and try again.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?
My dr did blood work this morning. My hcg was 1.8 and progesterone was 0.14

GTKY: What recipe is your favorite one to make? Feel free to share, if you want!
Oh man. I love to cook and make so many things. Last night I made French dip sandwiches. Here is the link:

https://carlsbadcravings.com/best-slow-cooker-french-dip-sandwiches/

dpjennifer · August 2017

Status: Benched. WTO, CD 9.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Just tired and blah from the weather changing and storms moving in. My rotation in another office is over with, and I'm back in my old office and I'm bummed to be back. I liked the office I did a rotation in SO much better.

GTKY: What recipe is your favorite one to make? Feel free to share, if you want! I love baking, so when I get really stressed I bake everything: Brownies, cake, cupcakes, cookies, pie, etc.

kbamomma33 Sorry about the friend. It is rough to see others get what you’re struggling to have, especially after MCs.

labgrand2012 Yeah, best not to get too far ahead of yourself! I find it more depressing to plan and then have things fall apart.

jhysmath Mmm…. That sounds good!

@PumpkinPancake Seeing PG people everywhere after MC is a common thing. It sucks the big one though! It feels as though the whole world is PG, except you. When I went for my RPL blood tests there was a newborn in the waiting room. It was killer emotionally. Glad your HCG is dropping fast right now.

rachelg777 Fingers crossed it’s not a PMP! Glad this new doc is being more proactive and helpful!

dragonette505 Good luck on your tests. And mmmm that food looks good!

dragonette505 · August 2017

@jnmiller324 so sorry.... your hcg is super low so at least you can move on quickly

@dpjennifer I'm a stress baker too! Its so soothing to just put everything out of your mind and focus on creating

jhysmath · August 2017

@kbamomma33 it's in western NY in the middle of nowhere. Sadly we don't have any water here. Mh has a grand plan to put in a pond in one of the large fields. We also inherited a lake house in Canada, but we haven't been back since FIL passed and now we've given it to BIL so we could focus more on this house and get it ready to live here in 4-5 years. We went from a one bedroom 1970s hoarder esque house to 3 bedrooms with no more shaggy carpet!

@jnmiller324 thank you for the recipe! Those sound amazing. I'm going to try those when we get home!

@dpjennifer when I went for blood tests after my mc (it was supposed to be my 12 week apt, but I called to let them know I had a mc and change my apt) I was given paperwork and pamphlets about being pregnant. It was pretty hard to deal with.

jnmiller324 · August 2017

@dragonette505 thanks--hoping to be successful this time around.

@jhysmath they are so good!! I noticed in my slow cooker it takes significantly less time to cook. I have it on the table within 3 hrs.

dpjennifer · August 2017

@jhysmath I hate insensitivity about this issue by medical professionals. I mean, sometimes it happens. LIke, during my appointment for my first loss, when I went to check out the nurse said "How are you today?" with a big smile, then read my check-out form and was like "OMG. I'm so sorry." And it's like, I get it. No big deal. I used to work at a cemetery and you're just used to saying things like that.
But then some of these people when they KNOW what your appointment is about (or should know) and they just do asinine things. Grrrr. The nurse at my family practice was asking me tons of questions before a regular checkup and asked about what doctor's I'd been to since my last appointment, and I talked about the RE's and the MC's, and I was crying the whole time because I was having a bad emotional day. And then she turned around and asked how many kids I had!?!? I'm like... look at your d*mned computer screen!!! It says 0 there. And I just told you I had my 4th MC. So I replied "4" and she looked shocked. "Really? 4?" she says? And I said "Yeah... the 4 dead ones." Which shut her up real quick.

dragonette505 · August 2017

dpjennifer said:

@jhysmath I hate insensitivity about this issue by medical professionals. I mean, sometimes it happens. LIke, during my appointment for my first loss, when I went to check out the nurse said "How are you today?" with a big smile, then read my check-out form and was like "OMG. I'm so sorry." And it's like, I get it. No big deal. I used to work at a cemetery and you're just used to saying things like that.
But then some of these people when they KNOW what your appointment is about (or should know) and they just do asinine things. Grrrr. The nurse at my family practice was asking me tons of questions before a regular checkup and asked about what doctor's I'd been to since my last appointment, and I talked about the RE's and the MC's, and I was crying the whole time because I was having a bad emotional day. And then she turned around and asked how many kids I had!?!? I'm like... look at your d*mned computer screen!!! It says 0 there. And I just told you I had my 4th MC. So I replied "4" and she looked shocked. "Really? 4?" she says? And I said "Yeah... the 4 dead ones." Which shut her up real quick.

@dpjennifer Youre my hero... Ive had to at some pretty stark stuff too. Its so hard when they make you say such baldfaced stuff instead of carefully looking at the paper in front of them.

MrsBunz · August 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
MC in March

Status: CD1 WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm really struggling with another friend's PG this week. She is only 2 weeks ahead of where I would have been, so while there have been times I have been extremely jealous, it's been 5 months since my MC, and so I've been handling her growing bump ok, lately. But all of the sudden I can't even look at her without wanting to cry. We play on the same trivia team (it was my team for 2 years first, so I'm not going to ditch them, but I can't just uninvited her to come along) so I see her once a week and it's been killing me. I thought it would get even easier when DH got home and we could start trying again, but now I'm just sad and stressed about the TTC process all over again. I was already having a hard time deciding whether I should go to her shower, and yesterday she told me they may be having 2 showers, one just for ladies, and another for her husband, but she is inviting all the wives so she doesn't have to be there alone. I can't, I just can't go to 2 different showers without breaking down. And to top it all off, after being a week late, and hopeful, AF finally started, so maybe that's why I'm in a "I hate the world" mood. Sorry, I probably have something to rave about, but I can't think of anything in my current mood.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What recipe is your favorite one to make? Feel free to share, if you want!
I love making homemade udon noodle stir-fry with pineapple, carrots, broccoli, celery, mandarin oranges, and a peanut sauce. Recipes in spoiler.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/mw/ee29dri9bn0j.jpg

4 tablespoons creamy peanut butter
4 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
4 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoon brown sugar
2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
cayenne pepper

1. Combine above ingredients and stir until creamy.
2. Add sauce to the stir-fry during the last minute of cooking, stirring to coat food evenly.

@labgrand2012 I totally relate to the planning around future due dates, then getting sad when I get a BFN. It's been super hard not to symptom spot or get overly hopeful, but I'm trying.

@dpjennifer and @jhysmath I'm sorry to hear you've dealt with difficult doctors and nurses surrounding this issue. When my sister went in for her first OB appt with her second PG, the doctor, who had performed her D&C, walked into the room saying, "Ok, lets get you another good outcome." Like seriously? Read the damn chart! I recently got pissed at the receptionist for my GP (because DH is military, I don't get to go to/talk to the OB until after the GP has confirmed PG with a blood test) because I was a week late with only BFN, unfortunately we are on a bit of a time crunch, so I wanted to leave a message for my doctor asking know how many weeks late I need to be before they will run a blood test (the answer is 2), and she told me, "I don't think this is the kind of message I can leave for your doctor." I asked why, and she said, "well your doctor is a gentleman." Wait what? First off, last time I checked I had a lady GP whom I like, so who is this guy (and why does the military keep changing my doctor without telling me). And second, whether he is the owner of a penis or not, he did go to medical school, right? He is still my doctor who has to take care of all of me, not just from my hips up and my thighs down, right? Ok, like I said above, I'm in a really pissy mood, sorry.

dpjennifer · August 2017

MrsBunz Sorry you're having such a rough time lately.

It's a very bitter pill to swallow to go through a MC when the world around you seems to be all happy PG people and babies. Especially someone you get to see every week. And I know that personally the first few days of AF are ALWAYS the worst for me. I become more emotional and depressed. So hopefully when you'll feel a bit better in a few days. As for the showers... don't go to either if you can't handle it right now. RPL has taught me self care, if nothing else. I also look at it as, I don't want to ruin THEIR day by breaking down in the middle of their party. And ugh on the annoying doctor and receptionist. Agreed... he did study medicine and knows about lady parts, right? SMH.

dragonette505 · August 2017

@MrsBunz Its so hard to deal with stuff like births of friends babies. Sending hugs

catlady1215 · August 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
loss sept 2016 and dec 2016

Status: TTC-TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
i'm alright at the moment. Our consult for genetic testing is literally just days after this cycle is over so it has me in a calmer mindset even if this cycle is another dud.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

GTKY: What recipe is your favorite one to make? Feel free to share, if you want!
we have this porkchop recipe that we loooove. I randomly found it on this app I once had. But can never find it online anywhere else to be able to link it. We call it southwestern porkchops(cause that's what the app called it). It's chops simmered in a mixture of corn syrup and tomato sauce with green peppers, onions, paprika. If anyone wants actual directions broken down, I can do that.

catlady1215 · August 2017

@kbamomma33 I get it. I have a lot of friends that got pregnant right away. I've been worried my one closest would try again and it'd happen fast again. I'd be happy for her but sad.

@labgrand2012 I find myself doing that every cycle also.. looking ahead to how far along I'd be for certain things. It makes it harder!

@jhysmath fingers crossed for you this cycle

@pumpkinpancake so sorry about your loss. Hope your body continues dropping those numbers quick!

@rachelg777 omgosh, so many fingers crossed for you that it wasn't a PMP!!

@jnmiller324 so sorry about your loss.

@dpjennifer I like baking so much more than actual cooking also!

@mrsbunz I'm so sorry you're having a tough time. But your feelings are completely justified. Honestly, I wouldn't do both showers (maybe not even one). Make up an excuse. Or even just tell her that scene is just hard right now. Take care of your feelings first.

catlady1215 · August 2017

@dragonette505 so much crossed for you!!

jhysmath · August 2017

@dpjennifer @MrsBunz

The better part to the story was my health insurance doesn't cover me out side of New England, so I had to go to the local ER when I realized things weren't going right and the PA I got was very pregnant. They did an ultrasound and then continued to talk about it at the station which was 10 feet from the stretcher I was on.

Now it was only my first pregnancy but I've had a "passion" for pregnancy and birth since I took a class called making babies 101 in college for a gen ed so I knew pretty much more than my mother who had 3 kids.

The PA started talking about not seeing a pole which I knew was not good. And then went on to tell the male nurse about blighted ovum and molar pregnancy and how she hadn't really seen any. And of course I'm balling my eyes out and mh doesn't really know what's going on but at least knew to give them heck when they finally came to tell me and let them know a sheet doesn't block sound.

rachelg777 · August 2017

@jnmiller324 I'm so sorry for your loss. Take the time to take care of yourself. To answer your question, I think it varies from doc to doc. Some want you to wait for 1 cycle but others are fine with you trying right away! I would ask for clarification.

@dpjennifer I second @dragonette505 's comment - you're my hero. Good for you. I work in healthcare and have definitely put my foot in my mouth in sensitive situations but her comment didn't really involve thinking...

@MrsBunz I'm sorry for CD1.

Don't apologize, rave away- you are having a rough day. Maybe you can skip trivia just for a week? And I second what everyone else said, if you don't feel up to it I wouldn't go to the showers. Your friend should understand.

@catlady1215 I'm glad you have something to keep you calm if this cycle doesn't work out, but fx it does!

@jhsymath I'm so sorry for your loss. The situation in the ED sounds like the worst, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm glad your husband stuck up for you though.

petethecat · August 2017

@dragonette505 Those food pics look amazing! You are very talented!

@jnmiller324 I'm so sorry for your loss. To your question, I had my OB tell me to wait until after the first AF after my loss then, the same day, her nurse tell me that I could try as soon as I stopped bleeding. I chose to take the OB's advice and wait. I felt like it would be better mentally as well as physically, and would give my hormones more time to level out. It's your preference, and I know some ladies do try right away, I just never felt comfortable with that. Also, I'm sorry that Saturday was a hard day for you. Grief is not linear. You will probably have times where you feel almost normal and "over it" and then, one random day, it will come down on you like a crashing wave and you may be terribly sad, seemingly out of nowhere sometimes. Please always give yourself grace to feel what you need to feel and remember self care during these times. Big hugs momma.

@jhysmath It sounds like you have a lot more space there! That's great. It's so fun making a house your own too. And facepalm so hard about you being given pregnancy papers at that appointment. I know that was hard. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

@MrsBunz I'm so sorry that you are having such a rough time with your friend's pregnancy. I imagine seeing someone so close to you being about as pregnant as you should be feels like a pretty rough gut punch every time. Big hugs to you in that regard. I totally agree with @dpjennifer that you shouldn't go to the showers if you are feeling like you won't be able to handle it. You don't have to put yourself through that. Also, to dpjennifer's point, your friend will be able to tell that you are struggling through it, especially if you do break down. Then she might feel guilty and ashamed on what is supposed to be a nice day of celebration for her. If you need to, look at not going as doing her (and you) a favor. You can still get her a gift, or do whatever you are comfortable with, and just give it to her in private. If she is a good friend, she will have empathy for you about this and be understanding. Don't put yourself through the pain when you don't have to.

@catlady1215 FX that this cycle is NOT a dud.

I'm glad that having future testing to focus on is helpful to you right now though.

dpjennifer · August 2017

@MrsBunz Agreed with @kbamomma33 about doing something else. So, long story but a few months ago my SIL had her bridal shower and her goddaughter (who was just 19 and out of HS, and PG with her bf's baby) had her baby early and decided that she'd bring the week and a half year old to the shower!?!? I was livid. I'm like, a baby is not a show and tell item! I knew that I couldn't go without either having a mental and physical breakdown, or punching the biotche in the face and causing a scene. So I declined to go. BUT DH and I went to visit the family for the weekend anyway, and he and I took SIL and her fiance out to dinner with just the 4 of us. We bought them dinner, drinks, and gave them their gift. It was fantastic! She said it was better than the shower because we actually got to talk and enjoy each other's company. So.... if you don't think you can do the showers, don't. You can always do something alternative if you want!

starla · August 2017

Everything you ladies have been talking about on this thread has really spoken to me, which is why I've decided to join in.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
I just went through my second consecutive loss (no living children). The losses were at 11 weeks and 12 weeks, but both times the fetus had passed away 3 weeks prior. The OBGYN won't do testing until after 3 losses. She gave me progesterone and baby aspirin and she said I could have more frequent first trimester ultrasounds next time.

Status:
CD13. TTA this cycle to make sure I have a normal AF. The follow up ultrasound showed that there might be some tissue remaining. Waiting for next AF is to avoid having a D&C.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
I'm struggling. Every day is dragging on and I can't stop thinking about what happened, wanting to be pregnant again, and wondering if next time will be different. I'm working on being healthier (eating well, working out, and drinking less) and that's going well at least.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?
Nope.

GTKY: What recipe is your favorite one to make? Feel free to share, if you want!
Scallops with bacon, spinach, shallots, and white beans. Mmm!

petethecat · August 2017

Oh no @starla. I'm so so sorry to see you back here. This sucks so hard and I'm so sorry that you are struggling right now. So many hugs.

I hope that AF helps everything pass so that you can get back to trying when you are ready. Again, I'm so so sorry for your loss.

dpjennifer · August 2017

starla I'm sorry for your losses. RPL is cruel. I was also told that they won't do testing until after 3 MC's; however, the newest research out there defines Recurrent Pregnancy Loss as 2 consecutive MCs (especially if there are no live children). You could seek out an RE on your own for the testing. The original consult usually involves meeting with a financial person, who will run your insurance and let you know what all is covered!
Were you having beta blood tests? I'm not sure if they'd help you since you had later first tri losses (mine were all early first tri losses). But more frequent ultrasounds should help.
I'm so sorry though. Take some time for yourself, whatever you think you need.
im so sorry GIF

dragonette505 · August 2017

@starla omg... so sorry you are here... are you kidding that they wont do testing??? I got testing on both my second and third (tw... 3 and 4 were back to back and just this spring so I feel your pain). Hun.... I'm sending so many hugs... Id really hoped everything was working out for you

I agree with considering seeing an re.... They are much more active at getting answers.

icecubeinthedesert · August 2017

@starla, I'm heartbroken to see you here again. Big, big hugs. You know I've been through very similar experiences with two late first tri losses, so if you need anything, please reach out. My doctor said the same thing about testing after two losses, but her reasoning was coverage by the insurance company. As @dpjennifer mentioned, check with your insurance because coverage varies dramatically. I recently got burned by this because we switched insurance companies and apparently the old policy would have covered the testing after two losses, but our current insurance will never cover it, no matter how many losses I might have. If you can go into your OB with the paperwork that shows you are covered, you might get a different reaction. I wish I had done this earlier and am kicking myself now.

starla · August 2017

@kbamomma33 Thank you for the kind words.

@dpjennifer No I'm not having betas done, but I did take a Wondfo HPT yesterday and it was stark white so I should be close to zero. I had some done a bit late at almost 7 weeks and they were in the 24,000 to over 30,000 range (i.e. Normal)

@dragonette505 I'm so sorry to see you here too. How do I get in to see an RE? Do I need a referral?

Thank you for the advice @icecubeinthedesert. I'm willing to pay for any testing OOP and the OBGYN still said they wouldn't do it. I'll check my insurance.

Edit: typos

dragonette505 · August 2017

starla said:

@kbamomma33 Thank you for the kind words.

@dpjennifer No I'm not having betas done, but I did take a Wondfo HPT yesterday and it was stark white so I should be close to zero. I had some done a bit late at almost 7 weeks and they were in the 24,000 to over 30,000 range (i.e. Normal)

@dragonette505 I'm so sorry to see you here too. How do I get in to see an RE? Do I need a referral?

Thank you for the advice @icecubeinthedesert. I'm willing to pay for any testing OOP and the OBGYN still said they would do it. I'll check myself insurance.

With my insurance I don't require referrals, so I just went on my insurance site, found some re's and made an appointment. If you require a referral then see if your ob will do it. If not, see if your GP will (hey if you cant go through the OB, go around him/her!)

mockingjay1 · August 2017

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Hi! I intro'd on the newbie thread, so I hope y'all don't mind me jumping in here. I had my first loss in 2013 and my second a week ago.

Status: Benched. I had my d&c last Tuesday, and my RE won't start medicated cycles again for 2 months.

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? One of my closest friends is pregnant and due a couple weeks after I would have been. Another close friend is due 10 days before I would have been. I was due March 8th so the pregnancy announcements are starting to trickle out on fbook/IRL for others due around that time. So many reminders of what could have been. Oh I also work as an RN in the nursery so that's been a little bittersweet too.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? We opted to do genetic testing on the "products of conception." My RE thinks it's going to be an aneuploidy issue, but if it's not then he is going to do further testing on me. I don't want to keep spending money on infertility treatments if something is wrong that is going to cause repeat losses.

GTKY: What recipe is your favorite one to make? Feel free to share, if you want! I hate cooking... luckily I married someone who is likes to cook and is great at it!

zamoraspin · August 2017

I'm so sorry for your loss @starla.

And I'm sorry to see so many new faces as well.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. I'm way late because I was having what I suspected right away was a CP, and, sure enough, my bw showed #s not going up and today is CD1. I didn't want to post on TTGP while I was in limbo like that but I was stalking y'all. My first loss was an mmc in mid-June (suspected at 7w, confirmed just before 8w).

Status: CD1

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are going poorly. On the one hand I didn't fully believe the positive tests so the loss itself is not nearly as hard as the last time, but on the other I am feeling really down about my ability to keep a pregnancy.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? My dr's office will be calling me with my last beta tomorrow, but of course I already know which way this has gone. I am 35 and we have been trying since March so I am planning to press my dr to help me make a plan to do an initial round of tests if not right away at least after one or two more cycles. I have a lot of worry that he will not want to do anything and will be dismissive especially because this last one was a CP (I understand many dr's do not find CP's concerning). If he is reticent to at least help me make a plan I am going to be in the market for another dr. After my first loss he told us to try for six more months and I just feel at my age we cannot afford to do that when we know I can get ku but we don't know if I can stay that way. I know there is a chance this has been bad luck and I really hope that is the case, but I don't want to keep endlessly going through the cycle of getting ku and then loss just to prove to my dr that there is an issue.

GTKY: What recipe is your favorite one to make? Feel free to share, if you want! Super easy, brie topped with jam/fruit/nuts and then wrapped in pastry dough. It is so good.

catlady1215 · August 2017

I'm so sorry @zamora_spin

I would absolutely push for it also. My initial appt for testing is next wk. I felt the exact same way. Maybe mine were really shitty luck, but I wanted to know. So I asked. I was surprised that she gave me the go ahead. Fingers crossed yours does also.... and if not, hope you find a new dr that wants to help asap.

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