TTCAL Check-in Week of 8/14

starla

I'm so sorry for your loss @zamora_spin. A CP is still a loss so don't feel like you or your doctor should dismiss it. I hope your doctor will do testing for you. Also, your brie dish sounds amazing!

rachelg777

@starla I'm so sorry for your loss.   I hope you are able to work something out to find an RE/new OB, whomever, that will allow for testing. As others have said, I know the current recommendations are for testing after 2 repeat losses. RE your how's it going section, I have had the same feelings. I can only imagine how it compounds with a second loss. Big hugs your way and I'll be thinking about you.

@dmo1371 I'm so sorry you find yourself here. I hope the genetic testing can bring you some peace and for the "best" results possible in a terrible situation. I am also an RN. I can't imagine working in a nursery during a time like this though, you are a tough lady. 

Oh, @zamora_spin, I'm so so sorry. I noticed you were gone and I was really hoping it was better news. I hope your doctor will hear you out, all your concerns are valid. If not, I would also be seeking a second opinion. Sending so many hugs your way. Also, I loooove making that brie dip! It's so tasty.

zamoraspin

@catlady1215 I'm glad your testing is getting underway soon and that your dr did as you requested. 

@catlady1215 @starla @rachelg777 Thank you ladies for helping me to feel more confidence in asking for testing. It is hard to take control of your own health care but so necessary. I'm so sorry we are all here and not in a BMB. 

dpjennifer

zamora_spin Sorry for your loss. CPs are cruel. My OB did not count my 3rd loss as a loss, as I had a faint line on a HPT on Friday morning, started spotting Saturday evening and by my Monday afternoon appointment at the office, I could no longer turn their less-sensitive test. *sigh* Also, my OB has been callously optimistic this entire journey with her whole “I’ve seen lots of people have X number of losses and go on to have a successful PG. Just try again.” As if JUST trying again and losing more babies is an easy thing to do. However, if your OB will not do the tests for you, new information and many RE’s consider RPL to be 2 losses (especially if no live birth), and therefore you should qualify for the initial testing. Good Luck getting the testing!

zamoraspin

@dpjennifer Thank you. I'm sorry you have struggled with getting professionals to listen. I have sadly seen this so many times on these boards which is why I am wary. Callously optimistic sounds like a very good description for how your dr handled it. I don't know if it will help but I am glad I ended up getting bw done with the dr's office so they at least have it in their files that something happened. I think there is a tendency to write-off CP's which, as @starla said, are real losses even if they are early. 

dpjennifer

zamora_spin  Thank you. And yes, at this point with 4 losses, I hate the big smile and a "don't worry. Just try again."  Like... ugh... and the RE's accepted my CP as a loss, even though my OB didn't 'count' it. I was highly concerned at that time because each loss I have seems to happen earlier and earlier. I really would like some clarity on that, and not just overflowing optimism.

zamoraspin

@dpjennifer It feels like a lot of dr's lump women into the category of "trouble getting pregnant and therefore need help," and "no trouble getting pregnant and therefore need no help." The third and less common category of being able to get ku but not have a live birth seems pretty ignored. Again, I'm sorry you have found that to be the case in practice. It is really unfair to ask you to just try again and it shows a lack of respect for how hard losses are. 

My current dr has a very good reputation and lots of positive reviews online as well as a low c-section rate. I picked him because I thought I was going to have a baby. But now I need someone with a totally different experience set than I originally thought, and while probably that is largely the domain of RE's, it would be helpful if I knew which OBGYN's in my area are good at working with patients with losses and that is something harder to figure out. I am very curious to see what my dr's office says when they call me today. 

zamoraspin

Ok, well mini-update here, I have to take back my skepticism about my dr. The nurse called with my bw results and I told her AF had arrived yesterday. I started to say that I thought we needed to do some testing at this point because I am concerned and she was ready with an offer for a referral for an RE practice here in town. She said my dr would make the referral in the next several days. 

catlady1215

@zamora_spin so glad to hear that!! I hope you can get in soon to ease your mind.

labgrand2012

@starla I am so sorry to see you here. Hugs

@zamora_spin that is great news! I am so glad you are getting a referral!