@savykay, we found out we lost our first baby, also a boy, at 21w4d (and it looks like I'm almost a week behind you now, so maybe we'll be breathing a sigh of relief right around the same time, 15 weeks from now). This is my second pregnancy, so I don't know firsthand, but I'm afraid I also might not feel like I'm "out of the woods" until I'm holding a living baby, God willing.
Just happy to report I've put some things in my mouth today: Two spoonsful of cream of wheat, 1/2 cup of ice cream, slice of pizza, a lil bit of fruit salad...just leaving Han Dynasty (had a few garlic sauce scallops, veggie spring rolls)...and hopefully all of this strawberry banana smoothie I'm drinking now in my Uber. I made it through this day by grace! This is definitely day by day.
Me: 39 DP: 49
TTC since Jan 2017 BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18 BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
I actually don't know if I belong here or not. There is no pregnant DURING a loss forum groups, and Im just feeling a bit lost these days.
How far along are you?
9w4d
Any appointments coming up?
I currently have weekly US appts to watch the growth of my SCH. Next Tuesday will be the next one I have.
How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
I feel paused. I can't grieve the loss of Baby B and celebrate Baby A being alive knowing that statistically baby A doesn't have a very good shot at surviving this bleed. It's F***ing purgatory, and I feel terrible guilt for just wishing I would miscarry already if that is going to be the fate of this pregnancy. Years of infertility, long Fertility treatments, so many TWW I can't even count them... I just don't want to wait anymore to find out how this story is going to end. I need a break.
Worse, I'm so angry that my body killed my healthy, thriving baby. This wasn't an abnormality, or something I could cling to knowing that my child is better off not living in chronic pain. No. I'm sure this baby would have been fine in anyone else's uterus, but mine kills babies. Rationally I know this is just grief talking, but I'm just so angry and disappointed in my body.
GTKY: What is the best advice you've been given?
my RE told me that studies show healthier moms and lower fetal/infant mortality rates in countries that rest mid day. I've been taking a nap around lunch time, and seriously I feel so much better! More doctors should prescribe naps!
@Cowboycorgi, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine trying to navigate this grief while also still being pregnant. It is such an imaginable pain. All you can do is take things one day at a time and continue to breathe.
I have found this group of ladies so helpful throughout this journey so far. I hope we can be of some comfort to you during this time. We will all be hoping and praying for good results for all of us!
@Cowboycorgi Such a daunting situation. I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby, I absolutely understand being angry with your body, I think it's a very normal feeling. We feel betrayed when it happens. I so hope Baby A continues to grow and thrive and that your SCH has gotten smaller or has disappeared entirely. Hugs!
@eller-2 I am so sorry you lost a little boy around the same time. I think having this PGAL group is so great in helping move through subsequent pregnancies, and the ladies here seem phenomenal. This will be my 6th pregnancy, my late loss, a MC, and then three wonderful healthy full term pregnancies (and hopefully this one too). I hope in 15ish weeks we can share a big internet hug for making it past our loss dates.
1st BFP 6/7/10 premature delivery and loss at 22w2d on 10/4/10
2nd BFP 10/10/11, EDD 6/2/12,natural m/c 10/13/11 at 6w5d
3rd BFP 12/25/11, DD born 8/31/12
4th BFP 1/3/14, DD born 9/5/14 5th BFP 11/15, DS born 7/24/16 6th BFP 7/14/16, EDD 3/20/18
@Cowboycorgi This is most certainly where you belong. Are you pregnant after experiencing a loss? Yes. Do you need support, love, and encouragement from others who have felt the same things you're feeling? Yes. I am so sorry you feel stuck in a limbo, I can't imagine the things you're experiencing. I lost my first because my body randomly went into labor on its own, way too early, and I remember feeling those same feelings that my body had betrayed me. You will be in my thoughts and prayers leading up to your appointment Tuesday that the SCH will shrink and baby A will be thriving and wiggling away.
1st BFP 6/7/10 premature delivery and loss at 22w2d on 10/4/10
2nd BFP 10/10/11, EDD 6/2/12,natural m/c 10/13/11 at 6w5d
3rd BFP 12/25/11, DD born 8/31/12
4th BFP 1/3/14, DD born 9/5/14 5th BFP 11/15, DS born 7/24/16 6th BFP 7/14/16, EDD 3/20/18
@Cowboycorgi I'm again sorry for your loss and the feeling of purgatory. I absolutely felt betrayed by my body after the mc. I was able to talk about this in therapy. I've had no surgeries in life, no terrible illnesses, am a healthy eater and I thought..."what in the world happened??" My therapist actually had another perspective, what if my body was actually protecting me and baby from things down the line. I slowly worked my way to yoga to get reconnected with it. It has helped. I plan on returning to prenatal yoga when I have an ounce of energy. (Right now, I'm just trying to nourish myself.)
Point is, I hope any of our stories or spending time with the PGAL ladies offers some healing and hope. It has for me. XO
Me: 39 DP: 49
TTC since Jan 2017 BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18 BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
@Cowboycorgi of course you belong here. I don't have any words that can comfort you but I think all of your emotions are valid and normal and I am so glad you trusted us with them. I'm holding out hope for Baby A for you and sending love your way.
@Cowboycorgi I am so sorry for your loss. The whole loss and infertility is so unfair. You definitely belong here. These ladies are amazing and will offer you support. I too have thought that if this preg is going to go bad to let me just mc now. It is a way to protect your heart since for me, the later I'm "strung along" the more I will hurt. I am praying that your SCH decreases and hope that Twin A grows strong and healthy for you. So many hugs.
***TW*** Me: 36 DH:35 Married: 7/10/2016 TTC#1 - May 2016 BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016 BFP 5/5/2017 - CP IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161 Adam Born on 3/18/18
hi ladies - I didn't know what the PGAL acronym meant before so I haven't been participating. I have 2 hard dates we had a MMC diagnosed at 10w4d but the baby measured 8w3d (which is today milestone wise).
I am so incredibly worried as all my symptoms except for the nausea completely stopped 2 days ago now. my boobs just feel normal. I know some people keep saying that it's normal to lose symptoms.... but it doesn't feel normal. Especially since last time I didn't lose any symptoms and still lost the baby.
My first US is still a week away and because I live in Canada I don't think they will let me watch... so I won't get an update until I see my doc on the 15th.
@justkeeptrying Cramps can be totally normal as your ute begins to grow. But I understand how it can cause worry. Take it easy and stay well hydrated.
@bb3vj3n PGAL is pregnant after loss. It is totally normal for symptoms to come and go. I've been telling myself this as I haven't had many symptoms at all. Those milestone dates are hard, I had mine this week too. Try to relax and do something nice for yourself. For me last pg the fear didn't really go away until I could feel movement, but a reassuring ultrasound can help.
Me: 30 H: 30 Dx: PCOS Married: June 2013 TTC#1: January 2015 BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16 TTC#2: June 2017 BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
yes.. the anniversaries are hard. I'm sorry you had to relive yours this week also. it's just the worst. I'm at work right now (sort of.... I laying down in my car on a break) debating how badly I actually need this job... lol. I wonder what would happen if I just didn't go back in ??? Obv. I will ... but it's nice to daydream
Thanks @becausescience, in my mind I know cramps are totally normal. But my PGAL brain magnifies things by 100 and has me so worried. Just put DS down for a nap and I'm curled up in bed with my water relaxing.
Today, we are pregnant! Small snacks, lots of water and rest and do something fun/relaxing. PGAL brain will not get the best of us. Remembering all the angel babies.
Me: 39 DP: 49
TTC since Jan 2017 BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18 BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
@justkeeptrying I don't remember any "cramps" ((I prefer to call them growing pains)) with my DS, but with this pregnancy I had quite a bit of growing pains between weeks 6-8. It is totally normal. Hugs.
@justkeeptrying I had menstrual type cramps with my son and this baby. They freaked me out but everything is fine. It can be totally normal, especially if there is no associated bleeding.
@cowboycorgi I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope we can offer some support for the rest of your pregnancy until you get to meet your baby.
I'm more confident after the ultrasound. But sometimes when I feel really good I get scared. But the nausea is almost 85% of the day now. Just my boobs hurt on and off.
Every day with nausea, I wish that I could feel "normal" even for a few minutes. And then I have an hour or two of no nausea and I'm terrified the entire time.
Seriously PGAL brain just messes with you.
18 more days until my first appointment. Today I am pregnant. I love this baby too much to let fear take over my emotions.
Hang in there! @justkeeptrying A friend just randomly mentioned how her sister had miscarried awhile back and all of my fears came rushing back for the short time I had forgotten. This fear is such a difficult one to deal with.
Just have to remind myself how there is a light at the end of this all-day nausea, famished, hallucination-inducing period. This is a journey. I've done the first few laps. Waiting for the doc to prescribe me something so I can eat, think, and work. Take it down a thousand, lil baby!
Me: 39 DP: 49
TTC since Jan 2017 BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18 BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
So I'm a bad person, and yesterday I whipped out my Doppler. I knew realistically at exactly 10 weeks it may be difficult or impossible to hear, so I didn't get my hopes up. I also had the reassurance that the next day (today) I would have a follow up ultrasound, so if I didn't find anything I only had to wait a day to see one way or another.
My ultrasound is at 2 today, but I am 95% sure I heard the heartbeat! Hard to tell as the placenta sounds to be anterior at the moment, so the Doppler was picking up so much plancental sound it wouldn't register the soft freight train behind it.
Im a bit out of practice with my medical grade Doppler, so I pulled out my commercial grade that I loan to high risk doula clients.
Anyone else have their doctor suggest a doppler for anxiety relief? Mine told me to start at 12 weeks if we make it that long, but she wanted to give me time to rent one had I not already owned one. I always felt like it would cause patients more anxiety as they can be very hard to use if not trained.
@Cowboycorgi, I have been so back and forth about getting a Doppler to use at home. In the end I've decided that it would personally cause me way more anxiety and is not worth it.
During my last pregnancy, I really wanted a Doppler. I was nearing my due date of my first MMC and really just wanted reassurance. I was almost 15 weeks so I figured I'd have no problem finding it. I ended up not finding one to borrow and didn't have time to go buy one. I ended up miscarrying 2 days later
In retrospect, I think I would have felt more anxious. Either I wouldn't have found the heartbeat and been terrified. Or I would have found it, and then been even more heartbroken to miscarry 2 days later.
Sorry. This turned into a ramble. For me personally, there is too much fear and anxiety in not finding a heartbeat that really is there. I know if we can get through this first bit, kicks are coming. And that will be more of a reassurance I think.
@cowboycorgi GL at your ultrasound today! I talked myself out of getting a Doppler because I know I would become obsessive with it and freak out if I couldn't find the heartbeat. I think it depends on your personality type and how rational you can be when anxious.
@justkeeptrying and @hullabalou, I was shocked when my doctor had suggested the use of one, because I had always heard they cause more anxiety than good. I used to train people how to use them, so at least I had that knowledge to fall back on, but it has been awhile.
right now I have a deal with myself (because who doesn't bargain with themselves or gods when they are worried) that if I start using it multiple times a week or causes worry then I get out away. We will see how that works out for me. *sigh*
Another question: I'm on estrogen and Progesterone in oil because this was a FET. My RE pushed my stop date back to 12 weeks instead of the usual 8 weeks when we found out about it being twins and the SCH. Now that I no longer have twins, should I be asking my OB about stopping sooner? The thought of stopping scares the crap out of me, but I'm not sure if the larger doses of hormones could hurt my singleton now.
Ill be honest, I have to keep reminding my OB that things are slightly different with FET. She wanted to do maternity 21 testing because of my age, but my embryos are only 33. And she was happy to see such a large corpus luteum for progesterone, but I had to remind her that it is a simple (grapefruit size) cyst because we did not stimulate the ovaries at all like with IVF, I was on Lupron instead. So I don't really trust her to catch the drug thing on her own. Otherwise she is a great OB... they just don't have as much training on Fertility as I wish they did.
@cowboycorgi I'm on progesterone vaginal suppositories, so I'm not sure if the same advice pertains to you, but my OB is having me continue the suppositories through 12 weeks and we just have one baby. He did the same with my son. I'm not sure if the estrogen has different standards.
@hullabalou, great to know! My RE said I could move to suppositories if I preferred, but the thought of doing it 3 times a day got the better of me. 1 and done with an IM shot is more my style, although 10 weeks of daily shots has my butt looking rather pathetic lol!
@Cowboycorgi I'm still on the progesterone pills and high dose folic acid until 12 weeks. Then he'll check my levels. I don't know the dosage equivalences though.
I am struggling today. I keep using this website https://datayze.com/miscarriage-chart.php to see that my miscarriage probability is quite low, but I wonder if this accounts for missed miscarriages?
@Cowboycorgi can you ask your RE or your ivf nurse about when to stop the progesterone? My ob was so relieved when she realized my RE was in charge of when to stop the meds.
@ishmoney I'm so glad to hear it's working for you!!
@mintea So... do you want to be reassured to help you get through until you get through first tri? If so, that chart is swell. I used to be obsessed with the "Odds of NOT having an early miscarriage" chart that floats around TB. I would wake up every morning and look at it. It helped me stay sane. *TW*
But, when I had my MMC, I felt so betrayed by it and my body because I was 9+1 and according to TB chart, that puts you at only a 2% chance of having a MC so I was super upset that, with odds like that, I still drew the short straw. So, in my follow up appointment, I asked my OB WTF because I was so upset by it and I was so worried that if it was only 2% chance and I lost, that must mean that something was wrong. She told me that that chart should come with the caveat that it's correct as long as the embryo/fetus has developed correctly up to that point. MMC come with their own set of crazy because you read all of these things about, "as long as you're not cramping and bleeding red..." and you just think, "LIAR!!!" Do your best to keep your head up and keep your mind occupied. I know it's really hard.
On the topic of progesterone, I know it's likely different for the FETers but I asked my RE on Friday (8+6) how long I should stay on the progesterone and she said that realistically, the placenta has pretty much taken over but they like to be extra cautious so she said to stay on it until 10 weeks. I'll check with my OB on Thursday, too but... the thought of not cramming progesterone up there twice a day, including sneaking it to the work bathroom and awkwardly washing my hands before and after...I'm thankful for it but I'm excited. (And scared, of course. )
ETA: Spoiler box
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@kiki75 I know what you mean about *Tw* MMC being deceiving as I was 10w3d when I lost my last but baby had stopped developing at 8w3d. I also thought I was almost out of the woods. I did see on many charts like the one you were referencing that the low chance of miscarriage % by date were also usually accompanied with a disclaimer that read something along the lines of "along with a confirmed heartbeat". We don't get early early ultrasounds in Canada so I thought things were progressing normally but in all fairness - I never had that confirmation so the odds were not quite as good as I thought. I was so naive then - I had never heard of a MMC and had a hard time understanding what they were telling me. I know better now. I have my first ultrasound this Saturday at 9w3d and I am SOOOOO nervous for it and I find myself not getting too attached to this pregnancy JUST INCASE. I see so many happy ultrasounds on the US thread for 6/7 weeks and I find myself so envious of those who get early confirmation of a HB.
@heatherdubrow, I asked my OB who ended up calling and talking with my RE. They agreed that 12 weeks was best as I still have a SCH and they want to be overly causious. I feel very fortunate that my OB and RE work very well together and are in open communication through this process. I don't feel like that happen much with different practices.
My ultrasound went well, baby is measuring exactly at 10w1d HR 168. Big news: my SCH shrunk from 9cm to 4cm! Not only is it no longer larger than the gestational sac, but it's is slightly smaller than half the size so my doctor is optimistic that it is less of a threat to baby. Huge sigh of relief even if we are nowhere near out of danger.
Today I thought about baby names. Since being diagnosed with a large SCH and knowing the likelihood of miscarriage I wasn't allowing myself to think of the future... it's one step/day at a time, but it was nice to think positively about what March might look like for us.
Re: PGAL Check-In - 8/3
@ishmoney I would love to wake up and have it be March already. All these hurdles are so tough. I'm living appointment to appointment.
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
@savykay, we found out we lost our first baby, also a boy, at 21w4d (and it looks like I'm almost a week behind you now, so maybe we'll be breathing a sigh of relief right around the same time, 15 weeks from now). This is my second pregnancy, so I don't know firsthand, but I'm afraid I also might not feel like I'm "out of the woods" until I'm holding a living baby, God willing.
BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18
BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
I have found this group of ladies so helpful throughout this journey so far. I hope we can be of some comfort to you during this time. We will all be hoping and praying for good results for all of us!
2nd BFP 10/10/11, EDD 6/2/12,natural m/c 10/13/11 at 6w5d
3rd BFP 12/25/11, DD born 8/31/12
5th BFP 11/15, DS born 7/24/16
6th BFP 7/14/16, EDD 3/20/18
I am so sorry you feel stuck in a limbo, I can't imagine the things you're experiencing. I lost my first because my body randomly went into labor on its own, way too early, and I remember feeling those same feelings that my body had betrayed me.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers leading up to your appointment Tuesday that the SCH will shrink and baby A will be thriving and wiggling away.
2nd BFP 10/10/11, EDD 6/2/12,natural m/c 10/13/11 at 6w5d
3rd BFP 12/25/11, DD born 8/31/12
5th BFP 11/15, DS born 7/24/16
6th BFP 7/14/16, EDD 3/20/18
Point is, I hope any of our stories or spending time with the PGAL ladies offers some healing and hope. It has for me. XO
BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18
BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
I'm struggling today. And now I'm having cramps which is freaking me out. Someone please tell me cramps are normal. Just remind me. Please.
we had a MMC diagnosed at 10w4d but the baby measured 8w3d (which is today milestone wise).
I am so incredibly worried as all my symptoms except for the nausea completely stopped 2 days ago now. my boobs just feel normal. I know some people keep saying that it's normal to lose symptoms.... but it doesn't feel normal. Especially since last time I didn't lose any symptoms and still lost the baby.
My first US is still a week away and because I live in Canada I don't think they will let me watch... so I won't get an update until I see my doc on the 15th.
how do you all get past the fear?
@bb3vj3n PGAL is pregnant after loss. It is totally normal for symptoms to come and go. I've been telling myself this as I haven't had many symptoms at all. Those milestone dates are hard, I had mine this week too. Try to relax and do something nice for yourself. For me last pg the fear didn't really go away until I could feel movement, but a reassuring ultrasound can help.
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
yes.. the anniversaries are hard. I'm sorry you had to relive yours this week also. it's just the worst. I'm at work right now (sort of.... I laying down in my car on a break) debating how badly I actually need this job... lol. I wonder what would happen if I just didn't go back in ??? Obv. I will ... but it's nice to daydream
BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18
BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
@cowboycorgi I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope we can offer some support for the rest of your pregnancy until you get to meet your baby.
Seriously PGAL brain just messes with you.
18 more days until my first appointment. Today I am pregnant. I love this baby too much to let fear take over my emotions.
BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18
BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
My ultrasound is at 2 today, but I am 95% sure I heard the heartbeat! Hard to tell as the placenta sounds to be anterior at the moment, so the Doppler was picking up so much plancental sound it wouldn't register the soft freight train behind it.
Im a bit out of practice with my medical grade Doppler, so I pulled out my commercial grade that I loan to high risk doula clients.
Anyone else have their doctor suggest a doppler for anxiety relief? Mine told me to start at 12 weeks if we make it that long, but she wanted to give me time to rent one had I not already owned one. I always felt like it would cause patients more anxiety as they can be very hard to use if not trained.
During my last pregnancy, I really wanted a Doppler. I was nearing my due date of my first MMC and really just wanted reassurance. I was almost 15 weeks so I figured I'd have no problem finding it. I ended up not finding one to borrow and didn't have time to go buy one. I ended up miscarrying 2 days later
In retrospect, I think I would have felt more anxious. Either I wouldn't have found the heartbeat and been terrified. Or I would have found it, and then been even more heartbroken to miscarry 2 days later.
Sorry. This turned into a ramble. For me personally, there is too much fear and anxiety in not finding a heartbeat that really is there. I know if we can get through this first bit, kicks are coming. And that will be more of a reassurance I think.
I used to train people how to use them, so at least I had that knowledge to fall back on, but it has been awhile.
right now I have a deal with myself (because who doesn't bargain with themselves or gods when they are worried) that if I start using it multiple times a week or causes worry then I get out away. We will see how that works out for me. *sigh*
Another question: I'm on estrogen and Progesterone in oil because this was a FET. My RE pushed my stop date back to 12 weeks instead of the usual 8 weeks when we found out about it being twins and the SCH. Now that I no longer have twins, should I be asking my OB about stopping sooner? The thought of stopping scares the crap out of me, but I'm not sure if the larger doses of hormones could hurt my singleton now.
Ill be honest, I have to keep reminding my OB that things are slightly different with FET. She wanted to do maternity 21 testing because of my age, but my embryos are only 33. And she was happy to see such a large corpus luteum for progesterone, but I had to remind her that it is a simple (grapefruit size) cyst because we did not stimulate the ovaries at all like with IVF, I was on Lupron instead.
So I don't really trust her to catch the drug thing on her own. Otherwise she is a great OB... they just don't have as much training on Fertility as I wish they did.
DD #1: 2012; MMC: 2014; DD #2: 2015; It's a boy! 3/31/2018
BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18
BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
Im very sorry you are struggling today. It really is a pit that we have to climb out of some days. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you
@mintea So... do you want to be reassured to help you get through until you get through first tri? If so, that chart is swell. I used to be obsessed with the "Odds of NOT having an early miscarriage" chart that floats around TB. I would wake up every morning and look at it. It helped me stay sane.
*TW*
On the topic of progesterone, I know it's likely different for the FETers but I asked my RE on Friday (8+6) how long I should stay on the progesterone and she said that realistically, the placenta has pretty much taken over but they like to be extra cautious so she said to stay on it until 10 weeks. I'll check with my OB on Thursday, too but... the thought of not cramming progesterone up there twice a day, including sneaking it to the work bathroom and awkwardly washing my hands before and after...I'm thankful for it but I'm excited. (And scared, of course.
ETA: Spoiler box
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
*Tw*
MMC being deceiving as I was 10w3d when I lost my last but baby had stopped developing at 8w3d. I also thought I was almost out of the woods. I did see on many charts like the one you were referencing that the low chance of miscarriage % by date were also usually accompanied with a disclaimer that read something along the lines of "along with a confirmed heartbeat". We don't get early early ultrasounds in Canada so I thought things were progressing normally but in all fairness - I never had that confirmation so the odds were not quite as good as I thought. I was so naive then - I had never heard of a MMC and had a hard time understanding what they were telling me. I know better now. I have my first ultrasound this Saturday at 9w3d and I am SOOOOO nervous for it and I find myself not getting too attached to this pregnancy JUST INCASE. I see so many happy ultrasounds on the US thread for 6/7 weeks and I find myself so envious of those who get early confirmation of a HB.
My ultrasound went well, baby is measuring exactly at 10w1d HR 168. Big news: my SCH shrunk from 9cm to 4cm! Not only is it no longer larger than the gestational sac, but it's is slightly smaller than half the size so my doctor is optimistic that it is less of a threat to baby. Huge sigh of relief even if we are nowhere near out of danger.
Today I thought about baby names. Since being diagnosed with a large SCH and knowing the likelihood of miscarriage I wasn't allowing myself to think of the future... it's one step/day at a time, but it was nice to think positively about what March might look like for us.